"DO-DO"-Thomas Newman music. Bond kicking open a door to a dark warehouse full of illegally caged animals. Cut too somewhere outside in the Canadian Rockies, Corrine Veneau (QOS) is parked outside in a Range Rover and sees their suspect fleeing the building, Bond comes running out of the building shortly after followed by all the animals he's just freed, he gets into the Range Rover and a car chase begins with the exchange of gun fire. Bond and Carrine duck as bullets holes are made in their windshield, Bond puts his hand on the steering wheel and turns into the suspects automobile causing it to drive into a Tim Hortons drive thru sign and flip over. As the car slides away Bond and Corrine smell something terrible then notices a few animals from the warehouse in the back seat making farting sounds, they quickly put their mouths over the bullet holes in the windshield. Bond gets out of the Range Rover to see their suspect has stolen a Royale Canadian Mounted Police horse and is making an escape and jumps onto a horse of his own. They ride theirs horses through a ice rink during a hockey game and out the other side, as the suspect sees Corrine approach in the Range Rover he takes a sharp turn right into a ski shop. As Bond and Corrie met at the back of the ski shop and find their suspects horse, they notice it opens into a ski slope and their target is skiing away, Bond hits the slopes after him and Corrie drives after them. As they ski down a mountain they move feather away from the slopes into a forest, as Bond gets close and as their skiing a fist fight ensues, BOOM! BANG! ZAP! After a hit and as Bond falls back he reaches for the suspects neckless but as they are coming out of the forest Corrine appears and hits Bond with her car knocking him down the slope. Keyboards start playing Adele's singing, "This is not the end."
"3 months ago you lost a suspect who was our only lead into Quantum," M to Bond.
Bond, "I got this" holds up neckless.
"A dog collar?" asks M. Bond,
"It may have an address on it, Q's analyzing it now."
So start you're investigate asap Bond, says M.
Bond, "with pleasure."
"Ok Bond", M sits down at his desk.
Bond "with pleasure."
Ya ok Bond, get to it."
Bond "with pleasure"
"Get to it then"
Bond "withhhh ppppppleasure."
"Oh shut up 007!"
"Moneypenny," says Bond, "seems we're having another close shave."
"Yes, James."
"Better your shave then your shot."
"Yes, Bond."
"You can book appointments but you can't book criminals."
"Ok, now."
"So Q, what do you have for me."
"Well its a dog collar and there is an address right here," Q points to it.
"How does it work?"
Q slaps his forehead, "I've booked you a flight to Argentina tonight." Hands Bond plane tickets, with a picture a plane on it.
Bond, "bloody big ship."
"Yes Bond, its a big ship."
Bond, "bloody big ship."
"very good Bond." says Q.
Cut to a Argentina skyline at night, Bond is at a soccer/football game when someone comes up behind him.
"Felix, I was wondering when you would arrive," says Bond..
"What can you tell me about this address," hands Felix the dog collar.
"I know this place, its a pharmaceutical compound the security is pretty relaxed."
Bond enters the compound dressed in black and makes his way towards a large building, the lights on the top floor are on and Bond uses his old fashion knee pad and elbow suction cups to climb to the top. Bond peeks through a window to see the men who escaped him in Canada and it looks like he is about to snipe someone in the other building, as Bond sneaks up and after the sniper takes out his target another fist fight breaks out. BOOM! BANG! ZAP! Bond throws him out the window, a shadow in the next building of a woman is watching. Bond looks through the snipers belongings and finds a perception for dog medication. Fade to black.
Fade in on the same Macau location in SF but instead its a Veterinarian Hospital. As Bond enters he sees Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko-QOS). "Don't touch your ear," Bond tells hear through a ear piece. Bond gets the perception filled which he found off the sniper and has a conversation with a woman he recognized from the pharmaceutical compound, "So you neuter pets." "Not just pets." replies the woman introduced as Daddy Longlegs.
Back at MI6 Bond and Camille await Q`s analyses of the perception drugs, which they also gave to two pets. The pets then turned into Godzillia's and terrorizes London, luckily Q hands Bond a ray gun which turns the one pet into Mechagodzilla and the two cancel each other out. Bond then decides he has to leave a trail for the protagonist to follow to the rebuilt Skyfall Lodge in Scotland.
"What's Up S*** kicker?" Asks Kincade. "Some people are coming to kill us, and we're going to kill them first," replies Bond with a dumb smirk.
A helicopter nears the Lodge playing "Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eye Peas. Bond ejects his DBS passenger seat into the helicopter's propellers and it crashes into the Lodge, the protagonist 'Edward Scissorhands' meets Kincade in the small church and kills him. Bond then kills Scissorhands and holds Kincade as he dies. Fade to black.
Open on M's office. "So Bond Quantum was just the tip of the iceberg and you believe Spectre is behind them?" asks M.
Bond, "With Pleasure." Gun barrel, ending credits song sung by Eric Serra. THE END. James Bond Will Return.
