2238 replies to this topic

[seawolfnyy]

Granted but once the film is over you wake up and learn its all a dream. 

 

I wish Kathyn Bigelow would direct Bond24. 

 

Granted, Bond 24 is a flashback telling of Bond's time fighting in the Iraq War. We see atrocities committed by American and British forces and the film is condemned for its depiction and glorifying of torture and the series is put on hiatus while MGM tries to clear up its image. The film also happens to be 3 1/2 hours long.

 

Granted: 'Bond Dreams of Bats' opens next November, with Leonardo DiCaprio as 007 and Cillian Murphy as the villainous Dr. Crane. The film is cut together out of scenes from Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, Inception, The Beach and Catch Me If You Can. It makes no sense and looks just like the two-hour mashup that it is (and probably already has a trailer available to view on YouTube). After a week at the cheap seats it goes direct to video where it sits on shelves unwanted, and is only remembered as the halfassed production that killed the EON franchise.

 

I wish EON would make a more-or-less faithful film adaptation of Ian Fleming's The Man With The Golden Gun.

 

So there.

 

EDIT: Sorry, SKYFALL got in while I was still typing mine.

Granted, they reshoot several scenes and splice them into the 1974 version. The result is bizarre and confusing with 007 switching back and forth between Roger Moore and Daniel Craig and viewers are turned off by the many plot holes and constant flipping of scenes and actors. The film is panned by fans and critics and since DC had a heavy hand in production he is fired from the role and the next entry is put on hold while EON tries to find a new 007.

 

 

I wish to see Bond have to escape from a sinking ship at some point in a film.

[AMC Hornet]

Wot, TSWLM, TND and TWINE aren't enough for you?

 

Okay, granted: the next Bond film is yet another remake of The Poseidon Adventure, with Dan Craig in the role played by Ernest Borgnine in the original, 'bringing up the rear.' Enjoy.

 

I wish Moonraker would be re-released with a few additional/changed scenes that would help it make sense ()I have a list of changes already prepared).

[The Dove]

Granted....but George Lucas is hired to do the revamping of the movie and the end result is even WORSE than the seven-thousand unnecessary changes he made to the original Star Wars trilogy..

 

 

I wish that whenever the next time a new Bond film coincides with an Olympic year (winter or summer) we get a scene featuring Daniel Craig's Bond participating in an Olympic event as a nod to the Games.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, he's still doing it in 2062 at the tender age of 92. However, because of his age it goes horribly wrong and casts a pall over the series' 100th anniversary and as a result interest is lost and Bond 46 (or whatever number they are up to by then) is a box office flop.

 

 

I wish we would get another Bond film set in the 1960s.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but Dan plays Bond as a peace-loving and substance-abusing hippie, and the film heralds the end of the Bond series.

 

 

 

I wish that Ursula Andress made a cameo in Skyfall as a nod to the 50th anniversary of the series.

[AMC Hornet]

She did - she was Judi Dench's body double...

 

I wish I could have been Sean's stunt double while he was getting beaten up by Bambi & Thumper.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, but the stunt went horribly wrong and you suffered a traumatic brain injury when your head smashed hard against the floor.

 

 

 

I wish EON would bring back the 007 theme heard throughout the Connery films and again during the Amazon river chase in Moonraker. (can't remember if I've done this one already, but oh well)

[AMC Hornet]

Granted, but the stunt went horribly wrong and you suffered a traumatic brain injury when your head smashed hard against the floor.

I can live with that, just so I get Donna Garrett and Trina Parks' attention for a little while first.

 

 I wish EON would bring back the 007 theme heard throughout the Connery films and again during the Amazon river chase in Moonraker. (can't remember if I've done this one already, but oh well)

Granted: the soundtrack for B24 - 007 in New York - consists of 22 variations of the 007 theme, all arranged by David Arnold. Even the title song is based on it, with vocals by Eric Serra. No audience member can make it more than halfway through the film without fleeing the theatre, their ears bleeding. The soundtrack album does not sell, and the film has to be rescored for DVD release, which involves a marketing campaign that costs more than it recoups.

 

I wish I could have been the makeup/costume artist responsible for preparing Maud Adams, Britt Ekland and Franciose Thilly (Chew Mee) for their underdressed scenes in TMWTGG.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, but you take no notice of their lack of clothes and Maud Adams comments "well we all know what he's allergic too...."

 

 

 

I wish David Arnold scored Goldeneye instead of Eric Serra.

[The Dove]

Granted...but Arnold only ends up doing the score for Goldeneye and Eric Serra is brought onboard for Tomorrow Never Dies and ends up doing the scores for TWINE, DAD, CR and QoS as well..

 

I wish that James Bond would make a return trip to Japan in an upcoming film..

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but during the trip Bond is transformed into an anime version of him and he stays like this throughout the film, and it is implied he can never return to his previous form at the end of the film.

 

I wish Dominic Greene got killed in QOS by Bond right then and there.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, but then something snaps and he kills Camille too.

 

 

 

I wish NSNA never happened.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but taking its place is a remake of 'Goldfinger' starring George Lazenby.

 

 

I wish Judi Dench's M didn't die in SF.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, she sleeps with Bond at the end.

 

 

 

I wish I could go back to November 9th, so I could see Skyfall for the first time all over again.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but as you get to your car after the movie you are mauled by an angry German adolescent, and you cannot return to the future.

 

 

I wish Tracy was never killed at the end of OHMSS.

[AMC Hornet]

Granted - she and Bond drive off into the sunset to enjoy his retirement. Audiences boo, end of series.

 

No, wait - I hate when others do that.

 

Diamonds Are Forever stars John Gavin as agent 008. He follows orders, not instincts. He gets to Las Vegas where he kills the right Blofeld in Whyte's penthouse - the end. In Live and Let Die he kills Mr. Big in Harlem - 20 minute movie. Then he kills Scaramanga at the boxing arena...

 

I wish people would stop wishing for some part of the series to have turned out differently, without thinking about how it would affect the subsequent canon.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, we no longer discuss the Bond franchise, at all.

 

 

I wish Jacoby Jones would've won Super Bowl MVP like he should have instead of Joe Fluke-O.

[The Dove]

Granted...Jones gets named MVP and put on the cover of Madden NFL '14 but then in the offseason the Ravens let him go as part of a salary cap restructure... The Madden curse strikes as Jones is picked up by the Jacksonville Jaguars and has 3 straight rather unforgettable seasons..

 

 

I wish that there had been at least 1 Skyfall DVD-release commercial that had been shown during the Super Bowl...

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but it involves Bond having a match of gridiron, gear and all. I wish EON had another franchise.

[AMC Hornet]

Granted: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 3 - coming this summer.

 

I wish Ian Fleming had managed to crank out a few more (good) Bond book before cashing in his chips.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted...Jones gets named MVP and put on the cover of Madden NFL '14 but then in the offseason the Ravens let him go as part of a salary cap restructure... The Madden curse strikes as Jones is picked up by the Jacksonville Jaguars and has 3 straight rather unforgettable seasons..

(Well that's only corrupting it for Jacoby Jones. As a Patriot fan, I couldn't care less about that. )

 

Granted, but they are so good that they overshadow the Bond films. As a result, the Bond films have to do something different to counter the books. Broccoli leaves the series instead of Saltzman and, starting with The Spy Who Loved Me, the films become more connected with the background of World War III. After several films, the outcome of the war (and the world) looks very bleak. Lee Tamahori is brought in to direct the 16th Bond film in 1989, titled "The Hildebrand Rarity" with new 007 actor Arnold Schwarzenegger. The film deals with the ultimate in British engineering: time travel. As the world is about to be destroyed, Bond is sent back in time to before the war started in an effort to stop it. The film is one of the most expensive ever made (at the time) with a budget of $175 million. Upon release it is universally panned as one of the worst films of all-time and is a box office bomb barely making $5,000,000 worldwide. The failure leaves MGM in dire straights and after failing to find any buyers and going through bankruptcy, the company liquidates with no one buying the rights to the Bond franchise.

 

 

 

 

I wish Licence to Kill was not so reviled by the general movie going public.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 3 - coming this summer.

Hey, I liked that movie!

 

Granted, Licence to
Kill becomes the top movie on IMDB and the public reviles all the Bond
films that have been released after LTK. Shrines are built dedicated to
the film, Franz Sanchez becomes a criminal organisation-hold name, and
Timothy Dalton is set to reprise the role of Bond after Craig.

 

I wish that all the previous Bond actors had some sort of cameo in the Bond 24.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, Bond 24 is a tribute film to Bond's history. Bond is sent on a mission to track Blofeld, but his plane disappears en route and Bond is never found. All the scenes of each Bond actor are from unused footage shot throughout the series. Major characters such as Mallory, Q, Tanner, Felix, Moneypenny etc. are interviewed about Bond. The film is titled Warhead 2000 AD and as such a brand new lawsuit is launched against EON from McClory's next of kin. Another lawsuit is brought against EON from Blake Edwards' family as, despite also being owned by MGM, the film is a blatant rip-off of the equally bad Trail of the Pink Panther. EON spends the next several years in court, putting Bond 25 in development hell for the better part of the next decade.

 

I wish Roger Moore had been cast as 007 in Diamonds are Forever.

[The Dove]

Granted...but then Sean Connery is cast as Blofeld and we get to witness him in drag as well as Roger killing off the "Sean" clones..The audience is left thoroughly confused and the series crashes worse than a computer running Windows 95..

 

 

I wish that I could travel ahead in time to one week from today so that I could already be walking into Target and picking up my very own copy of Skyfall on DVD right now!!

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, but they are sold out and you have no way of getting back.

 

 

I wish a better actress had been cast as Stacey Sutton.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, but EON screws up and gets Madonna instead.

 

 

I wish The Beatles had written a title song in a Bond film.

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, the new theme song for On Her Majesty's Secret Service is Mean Mr. Mustard.

 

 

 

I wish a better title song was used for Moonraker.

[The Dove]

Granted...as Moonraker is released at the height of the disco era, The Bee Gees' "How Deep Is Your Love" is chosen to be the title song for Moonraker.

 

I wish that I could track down the green 1971 Ford Econoline van that was used in the filming of Diamonds Are Forever, just out of pure curiosity to see whatever happened to it..

[seawolfnyy]

Granted, you discover it was used to abduct children.

 

 

 

I wish summer would get here already.

[MajorBoothroyd]

Granted, you move to Australia, away from your family forever.

 

I wish that Sean Connery never argued with Broccoli and that they had a peaceful relationship.