2238 replies to this topic

[Clouseau]

I wish Charmed didn't end so crappily

Granted. it never began, to start with!

i wish i could type a full sentence without the phone interrupting me!

[Mister Asterix]

Granted. Now you are interupted by falling boulders.

I wish I had a spoon.

[Clouseau]

I wish I had a spoon.

Granted, but it's made of paper, and is incapable of picking up or holding anything.

i wish i knew someone whose real name was John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, and his name was my name, too.

[Matt_13]

Granted, but you are believed to be the real John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt who is in fact a terrorist in which case you are taken down by elite members of the Duxieme Bureau.

I wish I had a banana.

[Icephoenix]

Granted, but it's cocaine flavoured and blown up by Connery's Bond.

I wish I was a rich man, na na na na na na.

[Matt_13]

Granted but you go bankrupt after investing it all in the stock market which crashes the day after you put it all in. na na na na na na na!

I wish I owned a cruise ship!

[Clouseau]

I wish I owned a cruise ship!

Granted, but it sank (can you say "Titanic"?!)

i wish i was on TV

[Icephoenix]

Granted, but it's put on the air by the local police to warn residents there is a sex offender living in the area.

I wish I had the Australian Navy had better submarines.

[Clouseau]

Granted, and they use their subs to launch missiles against your house!

i wish i owned my own custom-fit tuxedo

[Jaws0178]

Granted, come to find out, it is custom fitted to a toddler

I wish I owned a full sized Aston Martin V-12 Vanquish legally!

[Clouseau]

Granted, but it was totalled in an accident, and looks more like a heap of twisted metal than anything road-worthy.

i wish i had an ink pen.

[Mister Asterix]

[mra]Sorry, can

[Jaws0178]

Granted, but it is 72 degrees Farenheit in North Carolina, and it is 200 degrees where you are :-D

I wish I was in Dixie, hooray! Hooray!

[Clouseau]

I wish I was in Dixie, hooray! Hooray!

Granted, but she claims it was rape, and you get sent to prison where somebody returns the favor!

i wish my wife would fix the tag on my robe, because it's torn on one end, and it keeps itching my neck!

Edited by Clouseau, 24 June 2006 - 12:06 PM.

[Jaws0178]

Granted, however, your wife sews the tag on your robe onto the bottom of your robe, making it very small

I wish that The Pink Panther (movies and cartoons) would constantly play on Television. (Lets see you corrupt that one, Clouseau :-P )

[Clouseau]

I wish that The Pink Panther (movies and cartoons) would constantly play on Television. (Lets see you corrupt that one, Clouseau :-P )

Granted, but you don't get that channel!
(i, on the other hand, watch it day and night!)

i wish my wishes could not be corrupted.

[Icephoenix]

Granted, but the person granting it is corrupted...and you are eaten by a lion.

I wish I had a bowl of blue M&M's.

[Clouseau]

I wish I had a bowl of blue M&M's.

Granted, but your M&Ms are eaten........by a lion!

i wish i could sleep better at night.

[Icephoenix]

Granted, but you fall asleep...in the stomach of a lion!

I wish all lion's were dead.

[Krilencu]

Granted, but the rabbits inherit the Earth then.
I wish I had the Ultimate edition Attache Case right now. For free.

[Icephoenix]

Granted, but upon opening it you are knocked out by gas.

I wish they would stop making Law & Order and CSI spin-offs.

[Clouseau]

I wish they would stop making Law & Order and CSI spin-offs.

Granted, but now every single channel plays nothing but re-runs of the Law & Order and CSI spin-offs 24/7!

i wish i could stop and start the rain whenever i want to.

[Krilencu]

Granted, bit it only rains men (as in "It's Raining Men, Halleluya")
I wish I met Daniel Craig in the street of my home town.

Edited by Krilencu, 28 June 2006 - 09:46 AM.

[Clouseau]

I wish I met Daniel Craig in the street of my home town.

Granted, but it's not Daniel Craig the actor, it's Daniel Craig the undercover cop whom you tried to sell drugs to and ended up getting busted by!

i wish my nose would stop running.

[Jaws0178]

Granted. It starts walking instead (Yeah, yeah, cheesy)

I wish there was a network that constantly played "The Dukes of Hazzard" that I got!

[Obiwan]

Granted but it is always fuzzy to where you cant make out whats going on.

I wish I could own a hd tv plasma =)

[Krilencu]

Granted, but it is not compatible with your dvd player.

Moderator’s note: Cut that out.

Edited by Mister Asterix, 30 June 2006 - 04:43 PM.

[Clouseau]

granted, but there's no such thing as acronyms and abbreviations - they were never invented or even thought of - so you have to type everything out long-hand (On Her Majesty's Secret Service, The World Is Not Enough, ...)

takes all the fun out of it, doesn't it?

i wish movies were released on DVD the same day they were released in theaters.

[Mister Asterix]

Granted, but now all of the theatres have gone bankrupt and because there is no longer competition from threatres the movie industry down grades the quality of the DVDs.

I wish my toe nail clippings automatically tossed them self in to the rubbage just after I clipped them.

[Clouseau]

granted, but they're only in there long enough to get into something nasty/disgusting, and then they get themselves back out of the trash and try to re-attach themselves to your feet!

i wish my new computer would build itself (and correctly), so i wouldn't have to mess with trying to put it all together myself!