2238 replies to this topic

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but their bodies have decayed with age

I wish I would think about things before I speak

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; you never speak a word from the moment you are born, and die in an assisted living home, still contemplating over how to string your very first sentence together.


I wish John Mills and Alec Guiness would stop annoying everyone on this thread...

[Jose]

Granted. Their campaign of terror spreads outside this thread and in a matter of hours consumes the world.

I wish I could play the mandolin.

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but nobody likes the music you make

I wish my housemate would stop making that annoying humming noise!

[elizabeth]

Granted, but you now live in South Africa!

I wish I had a car and a license so I wouldn't have to be stuck in the house all summer.

[Jose]

Granted. You've got a license but your car needs a new engine, and tires, and seats.

I wish I could go to Finland.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; they fish-slap you to death.


I wish it wasn't so damned overcast over here, right now...

[elizabeth]

Granted, but the sun has gone on vacation.

I wish my VHS were working so I could watch Laurel & Hardy.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; they come out of the TV and pummel you to death.


I wish I could get this song out of my head...

[elizabeth]

Granted, but you become an enigma yourself! haha

I wish Stan were my boyfriend.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; he's Stan Marsh, and he throws up all over you out of nervousness whenever you say hi.


I wish I could dance as well as Fred Astaire...

[elizabeth]

Granted, but in order to do so, you must carry on a love affair with Ginger Rogers.

I wish I was a teenager during the 60s.

[Jose]

Granted. It is 1964, you are 18 years old and are sent to fight in Vietnam. You don't get to see Goldfinger.

I wish I didn't get headaches all the time.

[trs007]

Granted. It is 1964, you are 18 years old and are sent to fight in Vietnam. You don't get to see Goldfinger.

I wish I didn't get headaches all the time.

Granted, you have just been decapitated.

I wish the next poster wishes for something cool.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; I wish you get sent "to da coolah!"


I wish Douglas Adams were still alive...

[Goodnight]

Granted, but he can't see, hear or speak.


I wish I wasn't "friends" with so many people from cbn, on facebook that I don't know. And I have no interest at all, in them, or meeting them.

[elizabeth]

Granted. You just offended everyone on CBn.

I wish I could be roommates with my friend from high school.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; dealing with your handicap gets so tiresome that she moves out.


I wish I weren't so tired...

[Goodnight]

Granted. You just offended everyone on CBn.

Not all of them, but just a few tbh. But I was in foul mood when I wrote that, my bad :/


Granted, but now you have to live with insomnia.


I wish that bastard hadn't of looked at me.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted, but you are hounded to your death by the grammar police for mixing up "of" and "have".



I wish I were chomping on a Big Kahuna burger, right now...

[Jose]

Granted. Samuel L. Jackson stops by, eats your burger, recites a passage from the Bible, and shoots you.

I wish I had a new pair of boots.

Edited by Jose, 21 June 2010 - 10:28 PM.

[Goodnight]

Granted, but they blister your feet like hell and you can never get them off.


I wish some people wouldn't worship a load of over paid, self obsessed, womanising wimps, otherwise known as footballers. But worship our brave soldiers instead.

Edited by Goodnight, 22 June 2010 - 12:22 PM.

[elizabeth]

Granted, but the soccer players destroy the military.

I wish I could hang out with my mom again today.

[coco1997]

Granted, but you disappoint her somehow and she disowns you for life.

I wish people in the US would stop pretending that soccer is a real sport.

[Goodnight]

Granted, but now they all pretend that hopscotch is a real sport.



I wish I wasn't single.

[Captain Tightpants]

Granted, but the only way to get a date is with a vuvuzela.





I wish I had a vuvuzela.

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but you have to be coached in the art of vuvuzela by the charismatic yet insanely loud Desmond Tutu

I wish the girl next door would talk to me!

[elizabeth]

Granted, but she sees you have a vuvuzela.

I wish college would get here already!

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; it passes you by, and you're left out in the cold.


I wish I had some dancing shoes...

[Eric Stromberg]

I wish I had some dancing shoes...

Granted; but these red shoes dance the blues and only stop moving when the owner is dead.

I wish I could get over this unhealthy preoccupation with Charlotte Rampling