2238 replies to this topic

[Jaws0178]

Granted, it sends you into the future where time machines are illegal, and you are arrested as soon as you step out and locked away to be studied as "a relic of the Cold War"

I wish I had some chocolate

[trs007]

Granted, it sends you into the future where time machines are illegal, and you are arrested as soon as you step out and locked away to be studied as "a relic of the Cold War"

I wish I had some chocolate

Granted, but it's the Ex-lax variety and you spend the rest of the day....well, you know.


I wish there was world peace.

[Jose]

Granted. There's peace among everybody on Earth but the Martians are giving us trouble now.

I wish the Star Wars prequels didn't suck so bad.

[darthbond]

Granted, but now the original Star Wars suck.

I wish for no more wishes.

darthbond

[BryanHerbert]

Granted, but it turns out it's opposite day hahaha

I wish I could run up buildings and fly through the sky the superman!!!!

Edited by BryanHerbert, 08 January 2010 - 08:38 PM.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; you accidentally destroy a major American city.

I wish I could bring the Three Stooges back to life...

[elizabeth]

granted (make that granted for me, too!), but they're actors chosen by the farrelly brothers.

i wish i could get my third behind-the-wheel, take my driving test, pass, and get my license, all before my permit expires in march

[Goodnight]

Granted, but when you do pass, the world has completey run out of oil so cars are usless


I wish that a womans acting career wouldnt automatically grind to a halt after starring in a bond film:(

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; the woman goes on making pørnos.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

[Tybre]

Granted, but you're Harold Saxon.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

Granted, but you are promptly used for countless acts of unspeakable depravity.

I wish I would get off my lazy and actually go back to work on my WIP.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; nobody knows what a WIP is.

I wish I was more muscular.

[Jeao007]

Granted, but you're Harold Saxon.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

Granted, but you are promptly used for countless acts of unspeakable depravity.

I wish I would get off my lazy and actually go back to work on my WIP.

Uh oh Tybre..Don't turn this into 4chan now...

[Jose]

Granted; nobody knows what a WIP is.

I wish I was more muscular.

Granted, but now your intelligence has dropped significantly. And you run very slowly.

I wish the Beatles had kept Pete Best as their drummer, instead of choosing Ringo.

Edited by Jose, 10 January 2010 - 07:34 AM.

[Jaws0178]

Granted, but Ringo, having been passed over as the Drummer for the Beatles, comes to your house and completely wrecks it.

I wish I could watch Taken

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; you are immediately kidnapped in real-life by slave traders who sell you to a gay Saudi prince.

I wish I coud tap-dance...

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but you become so good, you tap in a 4-beat rhythm which slowly sends you insane.

I wish I had been alive in the 80s to experience it!

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted, but you're killed by Patrick Bateman as he plays "Hip to Be Square".

I wish I could play a musical instrument.

[Tybre]

Granted, but a disgruntled fan shoots you in an alleyway after a rough argument with the missus.

I wish I had parkour skills.

[Monkeyfoahead]

Granted, but you do parkour on a building in a rain and fall to your death.

I wish I had a new job.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; you're now paid $1000 a week to fetch 00-agents from casinos at odd hours of the night.

I wish I could get "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" out of my head...

[Jaws0178]

Granted, now you've got "It's Raining Men" stuck in your head.

I wish I could get away from this Saudi Prince

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but you have to kill him, which is illegal of course. The standard punishment follows.

I wish I still lived in West Yorkshire

[elizabeth]

granted, but west yorkshire has turned into west bostonshire, which means that everyone that lives there has turned into red sox fans, which works in my favor.

i wish i knew kenneth branagh/iago.

[Jose]

Granted but he is always hiding from you and tells people he doesn't know you.

I wish I could speak more languages.

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, but they're very obscure languages which are only used in rural tribes of South America, meaning you can't use them all that much in your daily life!

I wish I had more time on my hands

[darthbond]

Granted, 20 years to life in prison.

I wish I knew what to do.

darthbond

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Granted, 20 years to life in prison.

I wish I knew what to do.

darthbond

Haha, very good

Granted, you know what to do, but it involves risking your life, and that's never a good thing

I wish I could win just one game of squash!

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; your prize is a lifetime supply of squash.


I wish I had some caffeine in my system...

[elizabeth]

Granted, but it's really weed.

I wish I could register to take my driving test.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Granted; you crash horribly.

I wish I could dance...