772 replies to this topic

[dinovelvet]

Understandable... except, sans for the blue eyes (and, of course, the accent), Craig could make a rather convincing Japanese person:

LMAO! Very disturbing, Mr.Blofeld

[coco1997]

Dino, do you need any suggestions for the next part of treatment or do you think you have it fairly well covered?

[dinovelvet]

Dino, do you need any suggestions for the next part of treatment or do you think you have it fairly well covered?

No, I think the next chunk of Bond going to Piz Gloria, meeting Blofeld and the girls is pretty straightforward. I'll do that later today.

[coco1997]

Great, I look forward to it.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Same, here.

[dinovelvet]

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND

Bond steps off a plane in an old-fashioned tweed suit, and is immediately met by two grim-looking men, Yaroslav (Til Schweiger), and Borak (August Diehl). They lead him to a limousine-like customized sno cat. They pass by a group of people waiting at arrivals, one of whom is Campbell, watching Bond. He gets in his own car and follows the sno cat.

They drive to the other side of the airport to the helipad, thoroughly frisking Bond and going through his luggage before allowing him to get on board, as Campbell watches from a distance. They take off and fly to the top of Piz Gloria.

PIZ GLORIA

Bond is shown to his luxurious room; he sweeps it for bugs and finds a ton of them. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, he leaves them all in place. He also discovers he is locked in, there is no cellphone reception, and and must call for help if he wants to leave the room. He pretends to have a smoking habit so he will be allowed outside; Yaroslav insists on accompanying him everywhere. Knowing he can't look around, he throws away the cigarette in disgust and goes back in.

Later, Bond is summoned to dinner and is delighted to meet TWELVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN from all around the world joining him at the table. Yaroslav and Borak sit at each end of the table, shutting the conversation down as Bond tries to ask the women about what they're doing here and their allergies, etc. He engages in flirtatious banter with one of the women sitting opposite him, who introduces herself as simply Irma, from the Ukraine.

During dinner, Irma unsubtly spills salt on Bond's lap. She leans in to clean it up, while passing him a note. Bond quickly pockets it just as Yaroslav informs him that the Count is ready to meet with him.

Yaroslav leads Bond to a retina-scan locked elevator that descends into what seems like hundreds of feet below into the mountain. They pass through a laboratory area with security cameras on every corner, and lab workers dressed all in white with facemasks, before arriving into an opulent office. Bond sits and waits as a man emerges through an airlock on the otherside. It's a somewhat different-looking Blofeld; his now silver hair is swept back into a ponytail, he has no earlobes, and some other subtle work has been done on his nose and chin. He is almost unrecognizable, but Bond sees through it.

Blofeld - Sir Hillary Bray, I presume. Allow me to introduce myself - Balthazar, Comte de Bleuville.
Bond - Well let's not jump the gun on that.
Blofeld - I don't make spurious claims, Sir Hillary! And by the way, I'm sorry to hear about your recent loss.
Bond - Loss?
Blofeld - Yes, your assistant, Phidian, I believe?
Bond - Oh, yes. Seems the poor fellow was hit by a train. Can't be too careful these days.

Blofeld shows him all his deeds and documents, and Bond says he will need a couple of days to study them. He attempts to ask about what's going on at this clinic, but Blofeld brushes him off.

Blofeld - You'll forgive me if I don't divulge too much information on that front, Sir Hillary. It seems that spies are everywhere these days.
Bond - What a world we live in!

Blofeld then receives a call, he is due back at the laboratory. He shows Bond back to the elevator. As they wait :

Blofeld - I must admit, Sir Hillary, you are not exactly what I was expecting. I had pictured you as a little more...professorial.

The elevator arrives and Bond steps in. As the doors close :

Bond - Count, I think I can say that you are exactly what I was expecting.

Bond arrives back at the room. He opens the note from Irma and finds she has written instructions for bypassing the security lock on the door, and she's given him her room number, eight.

TBC

[Mr. Blofeld]

Very good, dino... but the other henchman's name was Horak, not Borak.

[dinovelvet]

Very good, dino... but the other henchman's name was Horak, not Borak.

Oh, whoops. You mean it's not this guy?

[Mr. Blofeld]

Nein.

[coco1997]

I second Mr. B's emotion, dino--good work. Is the "snow cat" that cool sled-like vehicle you posted a link to earlier in the thread?

[coco1997]

Oh, and I had a great casting idea for Zorin and May Day...if we make it that far.

[dinovelvet]

I second Mr. B's emotion, dino--good work. Is the "snow cat" that cool sled-like vehicle you posted a link to earlier in the thread?

No, a sno-cat is something like this :



It would be kind of a gag moment - Bond gets into this big ugly thing only to find a luxurious interior, perhaps with champagne and a flatscreen, etc! That other prototype vehicle was something I was going to throw in to the final battle, perhaps Draco provides it.

Oh, and I had a great casting idea for Zorin and May Day...if we make it that far.

Oh really? Do tell. (I'd be surprised if we do get that far).

As for OHMSS, next up I'll deal with Bond doing some bed hopping and getting found out by Blofeld. If anyone has any input on this part of the film, speak now!

[coco1997]

Oh really? Do tell. (I'd be surprised if we do get that far).

Well, I've been a proponent of ending our series of remakes with "Moonraker" (That means we're almost halfway there), but I'd like to see a reimagined "AVTAK" for the sole reason that it was, IMO, a terrible film that possessed a lot of potential had it been done right. This is who I had in mind:

Kevin Spacey as Max Zorin


Amber Rose as May Day

[dinovelvet]

I can see Amber Rose as a good Mayday Amazonian type, not sure about Spacey as Zorin though, I'd rather someone a bit younger and more dynamic. Too bad we already used Alexander Skarsgard as Goldfinger! Of course we'd have to do away with the Nazi experiment plotline to bring it up to date.

[coco1997]

I thought of Spacey because of the recent news that he turned down the role of the villain in Bond 23. Spacey is great at placing nutso Zorin-types, and his Walken impression is spot-on.

[coco1997]

So many ideas in mind for all the future UBs...

[coco1997]

This would be wonderful to use in "YOLT". The phallic imagery speaks for itself.

Hayabusa, the new luxury 186mph Japanese bullet train that allows passengers to travel with their own cabin attendant

[dinovelvet]

Ha! That train looks hilarious. Can definitely see Craig doing a double take as that thing pulls into the station. I really want to get onto YOLT, so I'll be posting the rest of OHMSS in daily chunks, hopefully it'll be wrapped up by Friday(ish).

Erm anyway, so where were we...

Bond is back in his room, and uses some kind of gadget/program/app on his cellphone to bypass the lock on his door by using the correct radio frequency. He listens for patrolling guards, and sneaks out when the coast is clear. He slips into room 8, undetected, to find Irma waiting for him. He asks her what's going on, and she gives him some vague answers about allergies, the twelve girls here are all being cured. Then Bond does what he does best whenever he's in a bedroom with a woman...

...afterwards, Bond gets back to his room, and into the air vent system. He makes his way down to the lab area and watches Blofeld at work. He overhears a conversation about how its time for the girls to get their nightly medication. "All eleven of them", says Blofeld, as he is working on something off-camera. We can only see the edges of it, it appears to be a holographic projection of the globe, with several cities highlighted. Bond notices that Sydney, Australia is one of them just as Blofeld switches it off.

When the coast is clear, Bond emerges from the vent but is unable to get the projector to work again. He rifles through some patient files, containing no names or faces, just numbers 1-11. Bond hears someone coming, and quickly ducks back into the vent, going back to his room.

The next morning, Bond goes outside for his cigarette break, accompanied again by Yaroslav, as the twelve girls play a game of curling. Bond spots Campbell hiding amongst the rocks below, Yaroslav is oblivious. Bond coughs and scratches his lapel; Campbell nods and begins to move away. Irma winks at Bond, who smiles back politely. Yaroslav is distracted by a phone call, and Bond takes the opportunity to ask Irma about the girls. He asks if one of them has been cured or has left the clinic, but she shrugs and says no, all twelve are still in the program.

Later, after lying about retiring about his room to do more research, Bond goes down to the lab again, he snoops around and examines some of the drugs that are being manufactured. He is about to leave when Horak interrupts him; the two men fight, crashing into glass equipment and generally destroying the lab. Bond jams a shard of glass into the man's abdomen to finish him off. Knowing this is the end of his cover, he heads back to his room and grabs his outdoor clothes. He heads to Irma's room and wakes her up, telling her who he really is, and that he wants to take her out of here to tell the authorities about what Blofeld is doing. She gets ready to leave, and grabs some perfume. "Come on, there's no time for that!", says Bond. "Oh, I disagree, Mr.Bond" she says as she sprays it in his face. Bond's vision goes blurry and he collapses as the screen fades to black.

Bond wakes to find himself outside, at the back of Piz Gloria. Yaroslav and several other goons have their guns trained on him. "Merry Christmas, 007!" says Blofeld, noticing Bond is awake, as he finishes tying a string of lights onto a huge tree. Irma emerges from the other side of the tree and kisses Blofeld right in front of Bond, who looks at them in disgust.

Blofeld - So you noticed we only had files on eleven girls; Irma here was keeping an eye on them for me. It's one of her many talents!

Blofeld then hands Bond a switch, asking him to do the honors in switching on the tree lights. Bond, thinking this is a little weird, presses the switch and the tree lights up - revealing Campbell's corpse perched on the top as the 'angel' on the tree!

Blofeld sees Bond's anger - Oh come on, Mr. Bond, where's your Christmas spirit? We've got much to celebrate. My girls are almost ready, and the world is about to recognize me as a Count!

Bond - Remove the letter 'o' from that word and you're a lot closer to the truth.

TBC

[coco1997]

Great work, dino. I'm loving all the little changes you've made along the way (especially having Campbell's corpse tied up to a Christmas tree).

[Mr. Blofeld]

How would Campbell's corpse fit on top of the tree? It'd be much more feasible if they'd merely stuck his head up there, revolving ghoulishly...

[coco1997]

How would Campbell's corpse fit on top of the tree? It'd be much more feasible if they'd merely stuck his head up there, revolving ghoulishly...

I imagine it would be a pretty big tree. And I think just having his severed head up there might be a bit too grisly.

Dino, what part of the film will the next portion cover?

[dinovelvet]

How would Campbell's corpse fit on top of the tree? It'd be much more feasible if they'd merely stuck his head up there, revolving ghoulishly...

Well I said it was a "huge" tree

Dino, what part of the film will the next portion cover?

Well presumably Bond will be locked up and then will escape on skis, and we'll have to have a chase involving snowmobiles and that kind of thing, and he will get to the nearest village and try to contact MI6 etc, and I guess we'll work this skijoring thing into it somehow.

I just realized its a bit weird to have Bond go to the labs twice to snoop around, not sure that really adds anything. This'll end up being the first three hour Bond film!

[dinovelvet]

Bond presses Blofeld for more information. Loving the chance to rub Bond's nose in it, Blofeld reveals his masterplan - the 'allergy cure' is a smokescreen for brainwashing; using drugs and hypnotherapy, he has turned the eleven girls into suicide bombers, who are to detonate at major cities around the world at midnight on New Year's Eve if his demands are not met. Blofeld wants a full pardon, recognition of his title, and all his assets and bank accounts unfrozen. Bond laughs and says it will never happen; Blofeld merely shrugs and says if it doesn't, he'll just move somewhere else, and train more girls. He orders Yaroslav to lock Bond up.

They lead Bond down through the labs into an icy hollowed out cave. Blofeld remarks "If you survive in here, you'll be useful as an independent witness when I contact the UN. See you in a few days". They lock a huge iron door, sealing Bond in.

Bond pokes around the cave. He can see some dim moonlight coming in through the roof. He climbs up the ice wall, hacking out handholds with a rock, until he gets to the top. He kicks out against the ice, slowly breaking it.

Later (an establishing shot shows its been a few hours), Bond, now freezing with blue lips, finally kicks a hole through the ice. He climbs out and finds himself back near the Christmas tree. Seeing one of the guards who locked him up, half asleep, Bond takes a string of lights from the tree and throttles the guard with it, quipping "No charge for the gift wrap". (Ouch)

Bond sneaks into the garage where he finds snowmobiles, ATVs, and the like. Knowing starting an engine would attract attention, he grabs a pair of skis and pushes off downhill. Almost immediately, he passes a motion detector and the whole place lights up, alarms blazing!

Gunfire blasts all around as Bond zooms down the slopes. Blofeld and Irma Bunt ride snowmobiles while other goons chase on skis. A sitting duck on the ski slope, Bond veers into the wooded area, and expertly makes his way through the rocky ground, dodging trees. One goon slips and hits a tree. "Idiot!" mutters Blofeld.

Bond emerges through the trees to find himself on a cliff edge facing a sheer drop. He ducks out of sight as the goons split up, searching for him. As one of the guards moves over to where we saw Bond just seconds ago...he steps on some uneven ground, and gets the surprise of a lifetime. He's standing on Bond, who buried himself in the snow! Bond grabs his leg and flips him over. The two men grapple on the slippery cliff edge, sliding towards the abyss...Bond clutches a tree branch as the other man grabs onto his leg, screaming for help. "Get a grip" remarks Bond before kicking him over the edge. Bond pulls himself up and sneaks out of the woods as the rest of the guards search for him. He heads for the lights of the town below...

[coco1997]

Fantastic! I love the one-liners.

I assume there's only one or two segments left the treatment is done. Now, I'm not sure what if anything you have specifically planned for the next bit, but I would like to see it more or less adapted similar to that original outline I posted when the OHMSS rewrite commenced:

Once Bond has reached the alpine village of St. Moritz, he spots Blofeld’s logo on a station wagon and hides amongst the skijoring horse races of the annual White Turf festivities. He finds Tracy who barely recognizes him because of his disguise. They take off in Tracy’s Ferrari Four, pursued by two guards in a station wagon. They get far enough ahead that Bond is able to switch a detour sign, that when missed, sends the SPECTRE station wagon over a cliff where it bursts into flames.

In the aftermath, Bond proposes to Tracy by the side of the road after the car runs out of gas, but their joy is short-lived as SPECTRE comes after them in a truck with a mounted search light. Bond shoots into the air to start an avalanche, which pushes him into a wooded area without Tracy.

I also had this idea that when Blofeld declares his plans to hold the world ransom, we could actually see shots of the UN breaking into chaos in NYC, and perhaps similar shots across the world in the countries where Blofeld has ordered his Angels to bomb.

[Mr. Blofeld]

I sort of had an idea.... before Bond leaves, he has to make sure Campbell doesn't blow his cover (this'd be alternate to what we plotted out), so he assaults the guard at the front desk, steals his uniform, and thus learns that the SPECTRE goons are due to "interrogate" Campbell in ten minutes. Being a good approximation to the murdered guard's appearance, he easily slips into the holding area where Campbell is; he's unconscious.

Bond frantically searches Campbell's person for something, then finds it; under a button in his coat sleeve lies a small, white poison capsule. Carefully, so as not to rouse him, Bond opens Campbell's mouth, slips the pill in, and clamps his jaws shut. Campbell's eyes flutter open for a moment, widen at the sight of Bond, but then dullen as the poison takes effect; Bond is clearly uneased by this, but he's knows Campbell would have done the same, had he been in Bond's situation. Bond closes Campbell's eyes, lays his head down gently, and slips out of the room.

Coming to the end of the hall, Bond looks around him and sees someone coming; he ducks behind a corner and waits. It's Irma, swinging a key card (could be something else) on a chain. Bond grabs her from behind and covers her mouth: "What are you doing out here?" he hisses. In response, Irma bites his hand, forcing him to let her go; by the time he's recovered, Irma's trained a gun on him and blown a whistle, alerting the rest of the Piz Gloria staff to the attempted escape. They grab Bond under the armpits, and out walks the Comte de Bleauchamp, smiling at Bond, and turning his gaze to Irma: "Well done, my pet." She looks lustfully at him, then turns to Bond, a cold smile playing across her lips. Bond responds:

BOND: "Bitch."

Irma looks ready to lash out, but Blofeld holds her back, instead nodding to his guards, who knock Bond unconscious.

[dinovelvet]

I'm happy to work that in. Like I said earlier, I don't think it quite worked to have Bond go to the labs twice to sneak around, its repetitive. When we're finished with OHMSS and I repost the entire thing in one long post, I'll attach this bit in.

I'll work with what coco posted too, but I'm not sure Bond villains would be driving a station wagon in this day and age

[coco1997]

I had a dream last night I logged onto CBn (the first time that's happened!) and I came into this thread and someone had made mention of doing a DC-era adaptation of "Colonel Sun"...Any interest in doing this?

[dinovelvet]

I had a dream last night I logged onto CBn (the first time that's happened!) and I came into this thread and someone had made mention of doing a DC-era adaptation of "Colonel Sun"...Any interest in doing this?

Possibly, though I don't remember a lot of it. Presumably at least one person playing would have to be an expert on the novel, and that isn't me!

Anyway, so is the idea for Bond to participate in skijoring, giving us an AVTAK style chase, or just to have it as a background thing?

[coco1997]

I had a dream last night I logged onto CBn (the first time that's happened!) and I came into this thread and someone had made mention of doing a DC-era adaptation of "Colonel Sun"...Any interest in doing this?

Possibly, though I don't remember a lot of it. Presumably at least one person playing would have to be an expert on the novel, and that isn't me!

Anyway, so is the idea for Bond to participate in skijoring, giving us an AVTAK style chase, or just to have it as a background thing?

I was thinking he would just be caught in the middle of it, as it would replace the stock car chase from the original film. It would be exciting to see Bond sliding around the ice, desperately dodging the trampling feet of all the startled horses.

[coco1997]

When do you think we can expect the next segment, dino?