540 replies to this topic

[MarkD]

My Bond film irritations for each film:
06. On Her Majesty's Secret Service—The Ruby brain washing scene with Blofeld's dumb dialogue about chickens. The dialogue in the book was better.

Agreed, but surely the dubbing and sped up fight scenes are more irritating?

09. The Man With the Golden Gun—M barking at Q. "Oh shut up Q."

Oh, I liked that. More annoying is Christopher Lee is underused, and the slide whistle to ruin a very good car stunt?

10. The Spy Who Loved Me—The girl that works at the Sardenia hotel. She has this annoying seductive voice. Obviously she wants to jump Bond, but it seems cheesy and not entirely necessary. We saw two similar girls in Dr. No and Thunderball, but they were more convincing and the idea of a hotel hostess secretly attracted to Bond worked better in those early Connery films.

Barbara Bach. Oh, and that Carry-On moment with the wobbly wheeled van bouncing across the desert.

11. Moonraker—The revelation that dogs and pigeons love gondolas that can move on land.

Especially the double-taking pigeon!

12. For Your Eyes Only—Bond not banging Bibi. I would have banged her faster than Bond could say, "ice cream."

Really? He's old enough to be her grandfather!

13. Octopussy—Bond having the magical power to get a wild tiger to "SSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!"

The whole film. Especially the Tarzan bit.

14. A View To A Kill—Bond in bed with Mayday.

Twice her age. Also, the toe-curling moment where they decide to play the Beach Boys.

15. The Living Daylights—As this is in my opinion the worst Bond film, I can name a million things. My biggest irritation is the Michael G. Wilson cameo where he is bopping his head. I have never known anyone to bop their heads to classical music or an opera. Isn't that something one would normally do if they were listening to rock music or attending a rock concert? It simply looks bad.

I think it's one of the better Bond movies, but there you go!

17. GoldenEye—The beach scene with Bond and Natalia. A little soap opera moment that is out of place. I also hate Moneypenny's mention of sexual harassment.

The Russian accents are particularly cringeworthy. ("I am inwinsibill!")

18. Tomorrow Never Dies—jack Wade's cameo and Carver's impression of a kung fu fighter.

Jack Wade is almost as annoyed as J.W. Pepper. But that kung-fu moment is delicious. It was nice to see a hammy villian trying to take over the world again!


Off to watch the rest and get back to you!

[Double-0-Seven]

This isn't technically a Bond film irritation, but a Bond game irritation.

I'll give you a hint - it's in the GoldenEye game. You do it time and time again to the point where it's annoying. Even more annoying is when you get fed up and voluntarily kill the individual, you can't even pick up the individual's gun which happens to be the most powerful in the game. It just fades away along with the body. You offer protection and cover only to get snapped at in return:

"James do you think you could be a bit quieter? I can't hear myself think!"

That's right. Protecting Natalya in GoldenEye 007 - very irritating.

[batmatt92]

The first one that came to mind for me is the Minister of Defense in Tomorrow Never Dies. He's rather annoying and over-pronounces his S's.

"M - you have 48 hourss to invesstigate!"

[Miles Miservy]

Good thread. So many,but straight off,
From FYEO, "I'll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel!" WTF?

Yes, that was pretty annoying; that and EVERY scene Lynn-Holly Johnson was in.

The first one that came to mind for me is the Minister of Defense in Tomorrow Never Dies. He's rather annoying and over-pronounces his S's.

"M - you have 48 hourss to invesstigate!"

Frederick Grey was better.

[Miles Miservy]

In Dr. No, I was annoyed at the 2 different addresses for Miss Taro's House in the mountains. When Bond calls for a car, he gives the number 2171 Magenta Dr. However, earlier, when she'd giving Bond directions, Miss Taro says, a different number, (I believe it's 243). Incidentally, if you watch the DVD with English subtitles (...my 6 year old likes to do this) the number in the captions, when she speaks to him, is actually 2171.

Renard being such a letdown after a great build up in TWINE.
And the line' " For centuries Hindu pilgrims have journeyed here to witness the miiracleofthe eternalflamesthatneverdie" or whatever it was. Clunky as hell.

I totally agree. Awful line, badly delivered. Yuck!

I agree, such potential to be one of the better of Bond villains and yet, in the end... just Pu$$y-Whipped. Too bad... so sad... Bye bye.

Edited by Miles Miservy, 16 May 2011 - 04:42 PM.

[O Lucky Man!]

So many...

Dr. No - Bond's condescending line: "Quarrel, fetch my shoes." Ouch...

From Russia With Love - The silliness of the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. island training center (live targets - too campy)

Goldfinger - All time irritation. Bond's astoundingly unhip line: "...that's like listening to The Beatles without earmuffs." Bond is suddenly an uncool middle-aged man.
Felix Leiter looks like a dull insurance salesman.

Thunderball - An epic crime organization that prides on itself on its scale and secrecy allows its members to wear easy-to-identify jewelry the size of class rings? "Hi, I belong to S.P.E.C.T.R.E., shhhhhhh...!"

You Only Live Twice - Helga Brandt's attempt to kill Bond is needlessly labored, poorly shot, silly. First film that Connery looks bored with it all. And yes, the Japanese makeover complete with epicanthic folds is ridiculous. Blofeld's reveal is a huge letdown. He turns out to be a prissy guy with a cat, not the malevolent mastermind I had hoped he would be. The fight with Hans is so carefully choreographed, it looks like hesitant dance steps.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - The only thing I dislike about this movie is the sappy love montage - including the ultimate hackneyed soft-focus image of lovers walking along the beach. Lazenby continues to be underrated, the script is full of surprisingly poignant moments, first movie that Bond is cornered and even a bit scared - in other words, human.

Diamonds Are Forever - Blofeld is too friendly and effiminate, never menacing. He's like the uncle you're not allowed to ask too many questions about because he loves musical theatre. Connery looks overweight and bored. Jimmy Dean - bad American cornpone and foreshadowing to J.W. Pepper's egregious moments. Mr. Wint's squeal with his arms between his legs is embarrassing, Connery's tie is too short during his Bambi/Thumper moment, accentuating his paunch. And the pastel color is fru-fru for Bond. The fight with Bambi and Thumper starts off great, but suddenly he's holding both of their heads under water with the greatest of ease Felix Leiter is another dull insurance salesman. Jill St. John is delicious, but a terrible actress. She and Grey are in the came campy movie. The raid on the oil rig is all ho-hum...

Roger Moore years - The Dark Ages

Live and Let Die - grotesque stereotypes of the whole black/pimp culture. Embarrassing depiction of several blacks as wide-eyed, superstitious fools. Roger Moor's acting style - raised eyebrows and general winking at the audience. J.W. Pepper. Ugh...

The Man WIth the Golden Gun - Agreed - the car-jump whistle. I bet John Barry HATED that. And J.W. Pepper returns. Goodnight is written as a mindless gumdrop. The fact that Scaramanga is more interesting than Bond. The car-plane looks like a cheap model. The final duel with Scaramanga is lame. Bond's killshot of Scaramanga is hardly heroic.

The Spy Who Loved Me - The most sleepy/bored villain in Bond history. Stromberg always looked like he needed a nap. He seemed as passionate about his master plan as he was about his next bowel movement. Bond handing a fish to an onlooker as the car resurfaces - complete with that annoying Roger Moore eyebrow thing. Hamlisch's score is annoying doinky-doink.

Moonraker - just about the whole movie, but perhaps the most painful moment is Lois Chiles' wretched delivery of the already awful line: "Could this possibly be the moment where we pool our resources?" How they completely stripped Jaws of any villainous dignity.

For Your Eyes Only - the delicatessen line may be the all-time worst Bond moment...WTF? Lynne-Holly Johnson.

Octopussy - Tarzan yell. Tired title song.

A View to a Kill - the waste of Christopher Walken's talent. They could have created a deeply-complex and fascinating character, but he ends up just being another cartoon villain. Tanya Roberts.

The Living Daylights - The first half of the movie is surprisingly taut and inventive with an admirably serious performance by Timothy Dalton. There are exciting, smart, human moments. But then it becomes a tired James Bond movie once they get to Afghanistan. Joe Don Baker is blustery and non-threatening.

License To Kill - Bond is visually introduced in a 3-shot. A 3-SHOT! Even in the lesser films, Bond was always given a hero's entrance. A 3-Shot?!!!!! TV Movie time.

Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day - I lost interest in Bond. The short answer would be Brosnan/Sheryl Crow/Denise Richards/Madonna and invisible car.

Casino Royale - James Bond is finally back. Love this movie. Didn't like how easy it was to put a homing device in LeChiffre's inhaler. He just happens to leave it; Bond picks it up in plain sight. Too easy. Lazy writing.

Quantum of Solace - The whole thing seems uninspired. The villain is a yawn. The climactic battle is extremely ho-hum. The closing sequence is shot like a TV movie and the performances (save Craig and Dench) match.

[Rufus Ffolkes]

The Man WIth the Golden Gun - Agreed - the car-jump whistle. I bet John Barry HATED that.

I hate to tell you, but Barry's the one who put it in.

[O Lucky Man!]

The Man WIth the Golden Gun - Agreed - the car-jump whistle. I bet John Barry HATED that.

I hate to tell you, but Barry's the one who put it in.

Ewwwww...that ruined my night. RIP John, you're still a genius - just a bad moment.

[mttvolcano]

Just finished watching OHMSS and when he trows Blofeld up in the tree and is on Blofelds sled and crashes...there is a scene that shows the sled coming to a stop and it's his original sled, not Blofelds that he was riding on and crashed....

[mattjoes]

Two from A View to a Kill:

During the fight in the factory, for no apparent reason, the big guy picks up Bond and then puts him down, without harming him in any way.

During the fight in Stacey's house, just before Bond delivers a backhand blow to one of the "baboons", the goon appears to want to reason with Bond. I can almost imagine him saying "Let's talk this over, please". Are we supposed to assume they sent this rather clumsy bunch of people because they thought Stacey would be alone? Or perhaps because physical acting has never been Roger's forte (even less at age 56)?

Anyway, these details don't bother that much. I still love this film.

[TCK]

I wonder where the hell they got that idea from ?

[mattjoes]

I wonder where the hell they got that idea from ?

Perhaps something they added when Charles Gray was cast in the role? I haven't read the script, but considering that Blofeld's disguise when escaping The Whyte House is something that is rather inconsequential, it could've been decided upon late in the process. I don't think it would have been a good idea to have the Blofeld played by Pleasance or Savalas dress in drag, but with Gray and his performance it seems very natural.

[Otis Fairplay]

I don't think it would have been a good idea to have the Blofeld played by Pleasance or Savalas dress in drag

Oh, I don't know about that...

[JimmyBond]

What has been seen cannot be unseen

[mattjoes]

So that's what he had in mind in You Only Live Twice when he said "I shall be in my apartment".

All kidding aside, that's Pleasance in a different role; his take on Blofeld didn't allow for such things, whereas with Gray it made plenty of sense. Though he was completely different from Gray, I imagine Savalas would have been rather appropiate for the Blofeld character as written in Diamonds Are Forever; even so, dressing him in drag wouldn't have been a good idea either.

[iBond]

Roger Moore's poor gun barrel aim in the first two films.

[A Kristatos]

Two from A View to a Kill:

During the fight in the factory, for no apparent reason, the big guy picks up Bond and then puts him down, without harming him in any way.

LOL! I never noticed thought of this, but you are very right! Kind of like a Three Stooges type of fight here.

[Daddy Bond]

Everytime Pierce Brosnan gives his slightly high pitched groan when he is injured. Not manly enough for Bond IMHO.

[Ren]

GE: "Do you know any gardening?" (or something like it)

[Odd Jobbies]

5. The little hop in the pre-Connery gunbarrel sequences.

You do mean the gunbarrel of the Connery films, rather than the gunbarrel of the pre-Connery films (which don't exist) ?

Just checking

[Vauxhall]

Everytime Pierce Brosnan gives his slightly high pitched groan when he is injured. Not manly enough for Bond IMHO.

Ah, the Brosnan wince. It's probably quite telling that I know exactly what you mean!

[SecretAgentFan]

Is it the wincing? Or the higher pitch? Should Bond groan more manly? Or not groan at all? Is he supposed to endure anything without complaint?

I must admit that Craig´s laughing off LeChiffre´s beating does not really persuade me as very realistic either.

[AMC Hornet]

5. The little hop in the pre-Connery gunbarrel sequences.

You do mean the gunbarrel of the Connery films, rather than the gunbarrel of the pre-Connery films (which don't exist) ?

Just checking

I think he means Bob Simmons, before Connery did the walk himself in TB.

[Pussfeller]

Is it the wincing? Or the higher pitch? Should Bond groan more manly? Or not groan at all? Is he supposed to endure anything without complaint?

The action-groan is as much a stylized affectation as the incredibly loud punching sound, or the body thrown backward by a gunshot. Even when engaged in strenuous activity, being bashed with a club, or thrown into a wall, real human beings tend not to emit loud, pulmonic vocalizations. If fighting scenes were scrupulously realistic, all you'd hear would be footsteps and sharp, arrhythmic sniffing. Audiences wouldn't know what to make of it.

So, given that it's all about theatrics, I'd say that Bond's sound effects should be regulated by his character. Some sounds just don't suit his persona. He shouldn't break wind during sex scenes, or stifle a belch after drinking, although both of these things would be naturalistic. By the same token, he shouldn't grunt and wheeze like a fat pipe-smoking uncle.

[Golddragon71]

Dr. No: Bond and honey being drugged by the coffee and then having been completely undressed and put in bed (I think honey may need to put a few more Black Widows in people's mosquito nets)
FRWL:: None right now this is my all time favorite Bond Film and it's responsible for my traditional post-break call at work "Back to the Salt mines"
Goldfinger: Felix Leiter suddenly aging ten years
Thunderball: Shrublands just a boring bit altogether
YOLT: pretty much everything after Aki got killed
OHMSS: Who stole Bond's PPK? was it Tracy or one of Draco's goons? (they ended up with it but how did they get it?)
DAF: "Miss Case....showing a bit more cheek than usual".....better yet....Miss Case in general
LALD: the overkill Blaxploitation riff.
TMWTGG: The fact that Bruce Lee died before he could show Bond what a True Martial artist can do.
TSWLM: Jaws immortality (I don't care what your teeth are made of there's no way any man of any size could survive everything that freak went through)
Moonraker: see previous
For Your Eyes Only: that of all the good looking olympic hopefuls she sees every day an 18 year old soaks her panties over a guy old enough to be her grandfather
Octopussy: The fact that General Orlov smashed the real Fabrege Egg (the one with the homer in it.)
A View to a Kill: Stacy Sutton Living down to Honor Blackman's assessment of Bond girls (they're all just bimbo's! aren't they?)
The Living Daylights: This is another movie i like on such a level i never really found myself irritated by anything in it
LTK: not sure who was more irritating Pam or Lupe
Goldeneye: the couple in the row in front of me having sex during the tank chase!
Tomorrow Never Dies: the couple in the row in front of me NOT having Sex during the Bike Chase
TWINE: me and My GF not BEING ABLE to have sex during the Boat Chase (there were families with kids all over the place that night)
DAD: Moneypenny's fantasy simulation at the end.
Casino Royale: Texas hold 'em poker instead of Baccarat and the steering wheel on the left side in the 64 Aston Martin
QoS: Mathis' death and Greene's shrieks during the final fight.

Edited by Golddragon71, 13 June 2012 - 05:08 AM.

[Colossus]

TMWTGG: The fact that Bruce Lee died before he could show Bond what a True Martial artist can do.

You're complaining he wasn't trained as a martial artist?!

Goldeneye: the couple in the row in front of me having sex during the tank chase!

Wow. That's.. What. You lucky dog?

[Double-0-Seven]

Goldeneye: the couple in the row in front of me having sex during the tank chase!
Tomorrow Never Dies: the couple in the row in front of me NOT having Sex during the Bike Chase
TWINE: me and My GF not BEING ABLE to have sex during the Boat Chase (there were families with kids all over the place that night)
DAD: Moneypenny's fantasy simulation at the end.

Now now. Don't leave us hanging. Go on about Die Another Day. What happened during the hovercraft chase?

[Golddragon71]

C'mon! You know the old saying....
"I could tell you but then......."

[George White]

Cec Linder was actually a year younger than  Jack Lord. Lord was more youthful, which was certainly helped later on by a twelve year stint in Hawaii, while Linder returned to chilly Canada... 

[DaveBond21]

In both TND and TWINE, there is a scene where Bond and a Bond girl swim up to the surface of the sea gasping for breath.

 

Well, Bond gasps for breath. Both the girls are fine!