2238 replies to this topic

[ACE]

Phew, for a moment there I thought George would subject me to more Ravi Shankar...


Granted, except this was Helga before her lobotomy, where she actually does slice you up using a dermatone, and double taps you with your PPK in the base of the neck and send you into the Kobe dock pulverizer. Those dockhands will eat good tonight and she'll be the first competent henchperson in Bond history. BTW, she'll "torture" you after she's shot you - she's a sick one, that Helga (and I hope I haven't answered your question about me and dead people!!!!).


I wish I could ski off a mountain like Bond in SWLM...

[DavidSomerset]

Granted, but Q branch forgot to pack in the Union Jack Parachute. So happy landings, 007.

I wish I have an Underwater Atlantis like Stromberg did.

[ACE]

Splat!

Granted, but it will do diddly squat on the dry dusty surface of Moonbase Alpha (your location), where it can never submerge, the aquarium will be full of moondust (as will the shark tank), exposing you to zero atmosphere and draining oxygen, and exposed to corroding solar winds. Unless you dock with Drax, you're done fishin'! Even the cream nylon (with lemon piping) beflared Koenig and Maya couldn't save you!

I wish I could irradiate the world's gold supplies so that my copious gold neck and general man jewellry (including fillings) will rise exponentially in value....

[DavidSomerset]

Granted, Unfortunately as your " copious gold neck and general man jewellry (including fillings)" are also part of the world gold supplies, everything gold is irradiated. So you get nothing and cry like the rest of the gold hoarders.

I wish I could have a working actual Lotus Espirit (007 Car) that could function underwater like a Submarine as in TSWLM.

[ACE]

Granted. But you remember when XXX says she stole the plans two years ago? You knew this and switched the buttons around. So the mine release button was actually changed to a self-destruct button, so that when enemy agents used the car, they would not get very far. You remember chortling with Q about this deft piece of misinformation. In fact, it is the last thing that goes through your mind: when you are driving underwater and you are chased by deadly underwater agents and your delectable female agent companion reaches between your legs to help you out, she gets a bigger bang than she bargained for. The funeral was at sea....

I wish I that toppling satellites could actually lead to world domination...

[Daddy Bond]

Granted, but it's not the kind of chocolate you thought...if you know what I mean...

I wish I was as toned as Daniel Craig.

Granted. But You're also as ugly as Daniel Craig.
(Sorry, couldn't avoid that one).

I wish I could play a round of golf every day at each of the world's greatest golf courses.

[Jaws0178]

ACE, granted, but you still have no hands.

DaddyBond, granted, but its putt putt

Someone else put up a wish.

[ACE]

I wish you would make a wish, Jaws0178

[bond_girl_double07]

Granted, but Jaws0178 watches a lot of "The Twilight Zone" and knows that making a wish can have unconsidered and negative consequences! Think "The Monkey's Paw" and despair!

I wish I was watching "The Twilight Zone" right now

[Clouseau]

i wish i was home right now, instead of at work.

Granted. But the next morning you get a call, that someone at your workpalce forgot the gas on and the place literally blew up, killing your boss while he/she was lighting a cigar! Plus side ; you can stay in bed as long as you like. The coin's other side; you dont have a work to go to and you have to go in your boss's funeral.

wow, that's even BETTER than what i wished for! i thought the point was to corrupt the wish, though, not enhance it!

I wish I was watching "The Twilight Zone" right now

Granted, but you get sucked into the show, wherein aliens abduct you and subject you to extensive anal probing before they finally decide to eat your brains and eyeballs.

i wish i didn't collect so much lint and hair in my belly button every day.

[Daddy Bond]

[quote name='Dr Blockbuster' date='6 October 2006 - 13:24' post='621753']
[quote name='Clouseau' post='621735' date='6 October 2006 - 18:53']

I wish the people at a cinema group in London would stop giving DR BROADBUSTER the run around about screen times for CR, and that their client services would indeed do that .... offer their clients ... service

(do I sound slight "dischauffed")[/color]
[/quote]

Granted. The screen times are scheduled, announced and fixed, but every single copy (and all of the originals) of CR were just detroyed in a terrible freak fire. Not a single frame of CR is left except for the trailer and teaser. All gone. Forever.

I wish I had a long lost relative who left me half a billion U.S. dollars.

[Skudor]

Granted! You disbelief at your personal bankruptcy and losing your legs! (ouch)

I wish I was in charge of EON!

[rogermoore007]

Granted but the Bond movie series has officially been terminated, which is why they gave you the job!


I wish for.....another wish

[Clouseau]

I wish that sometimes I wasn't ALWAYS the quickest on the draw !!

Granted. You've just been gunned down by Billy the Kid.

RIP

i wish the stores would just GIVE me all the DVDs i want this winter, rather than charging me money for them.

[DavidSomerset]

Granted, you are General Kim in North Korea and hence all the stores in North Korea give you DVDs free. The DVDs are all in North Korean though with no subtitles. 99% are propoganda films. Free of nudity too

I wish I had all the DVDs of the Ultimate James Bond DVDs set.

Edited by DavidSomerset, 07 October 2006 - 06:10 PM.

[Skudor]

Granted! This time you get to celebrate it at the bottom of a deep pit, surrounded by a bunch of ravenous lions.

I wish I didn't have to work for a living.

[Thunderfinger]

Granted.
Your work no longer sustains you.

I wish I wasn

[Thunderfinger]

Granted. Just lend me that sword of yours.

I wish I had six wives.

[Skudor]

Granted! Your detached head is now resting gently in a padded, soundproof box, free of pain and aching.

I wish I had a free pass for the cinema.

[Double-0-7]

granted, but your boat is now a sail boat!

I wish my ears would quit ringing.

[00Twelve]

Granted...but



Granted...but your London ticket is mistaken for a ticket to London, Kentucky.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow...

[ACE]

Granted, you'll be fired today!

I wyssh I kud reed and rite Engelish propperty....

[Clouseau]

I wyssh I kud reed and rite Engelish propperty....

Granted, but you live deep in Africa, in an undiscovered tribe, and English is the ONLY language you know, so you can't communicate with the other members of your tribe AT ALL, and they all just assume you're crazy, so they decide to sacrifice you to the tongue god. you think you've been invited for dinner tonight, but what you didn't understand is that YOU'RE THE MAIN COURSE!!

i wish ACE's signature was all in a smaller font.

Edited by Clouseau, 10 October 2006 - 04:27 PM.

[ACE]

...but unfortunately I'm still posting.

I wish there was a new Pink Panther film starring Turk Thrust II as Clouseau

[Clouseau]

wow, i can't believe that actually worked!

I wish there was a new Pink Panther film starring Turk Thrust II as Clouseau

Granted, but instead of Roger Moore, they find someone whose legal name is actually Turk Thrust II, and he's HORRIBLE! (makes Halle Berry look like she's the most perfect actress in the history of theater!)

i wish Alan Arkin had never been in a Pink Panther film.

[Trey]

Granted, but he starred as 007 in every James Bond film from Dr. No to DAD.

CORRUPT THIS:


I wish the granter of this wish will not corrupt it.

[Clouseau]

Granted, but a) you didn't really wish for anything, and 2) if you did, i'm sure the next person to post would corrupt it for you.

i wish Mr. T was my best friend.

Edited by Clouseau, 12 October 2006 - 01:59 PM.

[Trey]

Granted, but unfortunately, with the Bounty Bar also comes the Bounty Hunter.



I wish TND had been a better movie.

[bond_girl_double07]

Granted, but unfortunately, with the Bounty Bar also comes the Bounty Hunter.



I wish TND had been a better movie.

Granted "Traditional Neighborhood Development" did perform as advertized, though..

I wish I could bring my wicked awesome dog to work!!!

[Skudor]

Granted. But you'd soon tire of people asking "whose bitch is that?"

I wish I knew what DVD to rent.