181 replies to this topic

[spynovelfan]

February 21 2076

I cannot BELIEVE they fired Cavill with one mindmail like this! What are you THINKING, EON you half-witted foolchildren???!!! If death still existed, Babs and Mike would be spinning in their gustavs. Grok knows what Alan Flamer, who actually created the characters these holoshows are based on, must make of it all! Cavill was good for at least another nine decades!

Halle Lee Travolta is the WRONG choice.

BOND IS IN A PERPETUAL NEAR-ZOMBIE STATE WITH NO EMPLOYMENT AND NO IDENTITY PAPERS.

[ACE]

February 21 2076

I cannot BELIEVE they fired Cavill with one mindmail like this! What are you THINKING, EON you half-witted foolchildren???!!! If death still existed, Babs and Mike would be spinning in their gustavs. Grok knows what Alan Flamer, who actually created the characters these holoshows are based on, must make of it all! Cavill was good for at least another nine decades!

Halle Lee Travolta is the WRONG choice.

BOND IS IN A PERPETUAL NEAR-ZOMBIE STATE WITH NO EMPLOYMENT AND NO IDENTITY PAPERS.

I, we, are not worthy of your genius, SNF! Hill. Air. Ious.

(Is this a cut scene from Woody Allen's Sleeper?!)

37th February 2076

THX

I've thunk for eons that this series of holoshows was dead. When Shawn O'Connelly returned by cyberscan as JB00.7 in طغقىلשDie , I osmothought that it was finally a nanonail in the franchisedaq's recycle chamber and was flamed by the biocommune for osmoing such. But Cavill has not even played the 00.7 games it seems. All he seems to go on is the papyrpages from Alan Flamer. And giving 00.7 a Hyundai Martin? Really, everyone knows he would cybernav a Kamakiriad. I for one shall not be mercury floating to the Peckham Cerebral Download log link to brain read this particular upload.

[Lounge Lizard]

From the Feudal-web of 1605:

OMG! Has anyone read this new story by this guy Cervantes? It's TERRIBLE! In the book, the two main characters stumble upon the very book that they appear in, that is, the very book that I was reading... But when I looked over my shoulder, those characters weren't there. Hell, I can't even explain it properly. This Cervantes is obviously busy with black magic, he's F-ing with our souls big time... so I say put his head on a stake. What do you expect of a Spaniard. Bottom line, this book gave me a frightful headache. Don't worry, I immediately had my vertebral artery sucked dry by leeches, but I'm still feeling a tad dizzy because of this book. It will destroy the whole concept of fiction.

[Jim]

From the cave-paintings at Lascaux, 15,000 B.C. Tuesday.

Nggg thrrgg mmmgghhhaa hhhhnnnn ssssbbbb frickin' reboot nnnnngggggfff hhhh

[spynovelfan]

I understand they're looking for an actor to replace Sean Connery as James Bond. Obviously, I'm a little young, but I think I could do it. I'm British, the right height, look like 007, have read all of Fleming's books, and I've even got some acting experience. See attached pics. Come on Cubby! Ask me!

Could a moderator ban TimTim, please? He is clearly a troll.

(And dream on, mate!)

[dunmall]

lol, well this thread got kind of abstract all of a sudden didnt it?!

[SirHilary]

November 1961

The casting of Scottish actor Shawn Connelly for the forthcoming production of Dr.Know is not right in my book. How could a former milkman possibly portray the suave secret agent of Ewan Flemming's novels. I have set up an interweb petition that has been signed by millions of longstanding international fans of Ewan Flemming's books called "Boycott Connelly as Bond". I expect you will agree with me and sign it, otherwise you are not a true Bond fan. I shall give the film a miss, but no doubt you will see me and others like me outside cinemas throughout the land, demonstrating against this production and attempting to persuade others not to see it.

Yours

A. N. L. Retentive.

[spynovelfan]

Just found this post in www.captaindrummond.net's Fan Fiction section of June 1926:

'Gunmetalspectre, I greatly enjoyed your Drummond story: you clearly have a gift for writing. However, I must say I found the violence of the torture scene a little too much, and you seem to have misunderstood some basic principles of Drummond's character. He is not some debonair playboy! And what on earth is meant to be happening in the back of that car? Has the Captain remarried?'

[Loomis]

Messages from petitiontogetrogermoorebackasbond.net, 1986:

I'm going on hunger strike until More is reinstated as Bond. Eon's dirty tricks merit dirty protests!!!!

How can these clowns think a darkhaired guy in his early 40s is suitable for Bond? And hes a stage actor ffs, it's supposed to be esacpist entertainment. This one will tank.

Yes Rodger Moore may be old but he's made 7 amazing Bond films. He could do 7 more. Eeeeeeeeon asked Connery back a few years ago for Never Say Never Again so why can't they do the same for Moore? Those sellouts hired this Dalton joker because they've seen the success of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and Rambo and want to grab the teen demographic, but The Living Daylights will flop. A disgrace. Bond is dead.

Those Dalton pics are laughable. When someone told me the new Bond was the guy from Flash Gordon, I thought, yeah, okay, looks a bit like a very young Moore in a way, in other words a male model type with blonde hair and a cheesy grin and everything, so he did at least fit the visual requirements for Bond, but then it turns out they meant Prince Barin. The series has gone to hell in a handcart.

I don't get it. A View to a Kill was a hit. Why change a successful star?? What next, Rocky 5 with Mickey Rooney?

[ACE]

Just found this post in www.captaindrummond.net's Fan Fiction section of June 1926:

'Gunmetalspectre, I greatly enjoyed your Drummond story: you clearly have a gift for writing. However, I must say I found the violence of the torture scene a little too much, and you seem to have misunderstood some basic principles of Drummond's character. He is not some debonair playboy! And what on earth is meant to be happening in the back of that car? Has the Captain remarried?'

LOL! Fleming as a poster! Corking, I say, simply corking!

Messages from petitiontogetrogermoorebackasbond.net, 1986:

I'm going on hunger strike until More is reinstated as Bond. Eon's dirty tricks merit dirty protests!!!!....

Hunger strike? Call yourself a fan? How little commitment you have.
I am going to commit ritual seppuku if they do not change their choice of having a dark Bond...

Yeah, how dare they change Bond's look so radically. Roger More was the most successful Bond doing 7 films straight (and as Mike Wilson said last month in Starlog October 1986, Roger could have done a couple more Bonds if he'd wanted to) which were the highest grossing films in the series. The public accepted him and they all said he was nearer to the Ian Fleming concept. Now, to go with a dark haired, lanky, Welsh-accented and dark Bond is a travesty! Bond should be light, an English gentleman and funny. I think Anthony Andrews or Christopher Cazenove should have been Bond. At least they're famous rather than this unknown boyo!

And I really think they should chuck John Barry - far too old, man. On Pathe.com, they said that Georgio Moroder was in talks to do the score and I really think they need to get someone like Limahl or OMD to sing the theme song.

And I know it was in that recent time travel movie, but Bond should drive a DeLorean. Cool car, cooler with Q gadgets. Maybe it should fly.

And I think Bond needs to go somewhere exotic. Say the Middle East. He shouldn't be political and should go to a friendly state. Like Iraq. Maybe he could help the Western ally, a guy called President Soddom Hussein defeat the those gunboats in the Straights of Hormuz and rescue the hostages in Beirut. On second thoughts, the producers would never involve Bond in a quasi geopolitical story that would be dated so quickly....

[spynovelfan]

Gunmetalspectre writes:

Thanks, CarlPeterson, for your kind words about my story, Drummond Gets Tortured To Bits In Jamaica. I've been a huge fan of Sapppper since last half. I'm currently working on a full-length fan fiction piece in which Drummond battles Fu Manchu, but it's all dreadfully dull. I'm afraid my writing is still very much of the orifice orifice gunmetal gunmetal variety. (That last phrase needs a little work, but hopefully you'll understand what I mean.)

[ACE]

Gunmetalspectre writes:

Thanks, CarlPeterson, for your kind words about my story, Drummond Gets Tortured To Bits In Jamaica. I've been a huge fan of Sapppper since last half. I'm currently working on a full-length fan fiction piece in which Drummond battles Fu Manchu, but it's all dreadfully dull. I'm afraid my writing is still very much of the orifice orifice gunmetal gunmetal variety. (That last phrase needs a little work, but hopefully you'll understand what I mean.)

This 13th day of June 1926, CarlPeterson

Gunmetalspectre, I found your tale frightfully, frightfully exciting. I must admit that I did not cotton on to everything - what are "breasts"?. And Drummond was a sort of military intelligence man but in some parts you seem to have made the heroine a master! Soon after he meets Penelope Livelier, she had "taut nipples" when I thought she had taught biology. Please do continue with your wizard yarns. They really are super. Yes, I think I know what you mean by that last phrase. Perhaps smack, smack, crack, crack may do...

[spynovelfan]

Yes, I think I know what you mean by that last phrase. Perhaps smack, smack, crack, crack may do...

It's still not quite right, is it?

[ACE]

Yes, I think I know what you mean by that last phrase. Perhaps smack, smack, crack, crack may do...

It's still not quite right, is it?

I disagree. In fact, my friend whose father is a chemist says the terms sound quite pharmaceutical. Your work really will become addictive, Gunmetalspectre...

[Kingdom Come]

All this talk about Kenneth More being the new James Bond is far fetched, a bit like the recent films.

Last years 'The Trajector' had Q showing Bond a telephone that Bond could take on holiday with him. I hope the films don't go too far.


(this has got to be the driest post this year)

[spynovelfan]

I've thunk for eons that this series of holoshows was dead. When Shawn O'Connelly returned by cyberscan as JB00.7 in ??????Die , I osmothought that it was finally a nanonail in the franchisedaq's recycle chamber and was flamed by the biocommune for osmoing such. But Cavill has not even played the 00.7 games it seems. All he seems to go on is the papyrpages from Alan Flamer. And giving 00.7 a Hyundai Martin? Really, everyone knows he would cybernav a Kamakiriad. I for one shall not be mercury floating to the Peckham Cerebral Download log link to brain read this particular upload.

My neurotransmitters must be up the kazaa, because they failed to pick up this piece of grokenschpiel yesterday.

You are clearly NOT a Bondfan! Flamer's papyrpages may not be as nervefrightening as NO IDENTITY PAPERS, MR BOND on the PlayStation92, but if you mimelode them down from GooglePapyr you'll find the original character of James Bond was a ruthless government restaurant critic. Yes, they have carbonned a bit over the eons, but that is no excuse.

Cavill is a well respected holoboy (did you even SEE his work in the remake of Thomas Mann's NO IDENTITY PAPERS IN VENICE? He was MASTERFUL!) and he has provided us genuine Flamerfans with blissful nanoneurons in our pleasuredomes.

Finally, Kamakiriads' tech is Balinese, and everyone knows Bond is Japanese (and has been since YOU ONLY LIVE FOREVER).

Can someone alert the Bond secret police about this revolutionary? I think he needs imprisoning.

[Jim]

I've thunk for eons that this series of holoshows was dead. When Shawn O'Connelly returned by cyberscan as JB00.7 in ??????Die , I osmothought that it was finally a nanonail in the franchisedaq's recycle chamber and was flamed by the biocommune for osmoing such. But Cavill has not even played the 00.7 games it seems. All he seems to go on is the papyrpages from Alan Flamer. And giving 00.7 a Hyundai Martin? Really, everyone knows he would cybernav a Kamakiriad. I for one shall not be mercury floating to the Peckham Cerebral Download log link to brain read this particular upload.

My neurotransmitters must be up the kazaa, because they failed to pick up this piece of grokenschpiel yesterday.

You are clearly NOT a Bondfan! Flamer's papyrpages may not be as nervefrightening as NO IDENTITY PAPERS, MR BOND on the PlayStation92, but if you mimelode them down from GooglePapyr you'll find the original character of James Bond was a ruthless government restaurant critic. Yes, they have carbonned a bit over the eons, but that is no excuse.

Cavill is a well respected holoboy (did you even SEE his work in the remake of Thomas Mann's NO IDENTITY PAPERS IN VENICE? He was MASTERFUL!) and he has provided us genuine Flamerfans with blissful nanoneurons in our pleasuredomes.

Finally, Kamakiriads' tech is Balinese, and everyone knows Bond is Japanese (and has been since YOU ONLY LIVE FOREVER).

Can someone alert the Bond secret police about this revolutionary? I think he needs imprisoning.

Thank you for contacting the Bond secret police, brought to you in association with Jus-Rol Pastry and Light Artillery plc, for all your pastry and weapons of minor-but-satisfying destruction needs.

Please note that your request used obsolete keyboard technology and is therefore logged in a fluffy holding Whitchurch in orbit around the eleventh Venus.

If you wish the Bond secret police to respond to your call more swiftly, or at all, please ensure your mind is compatible with the following message, and then follow the instructions within it:-




Thank you.

[ACE]

I've thunk for eons that this series of holoshows was dead. When Shawn O'Connelly returned by cyberscan as JB00.7 in ??????Die , I osmothought that it was finally a nanonail in the franchisedaq's recycle chamber and was flamed by the biocommune for osmoing such. But Cavill has not even played the 00.7 games it seems. All he seems to go on is the papyrpages from Alan Flamer. And giving 00.7 a Hyundai Martin? Really, everyone knows he would cybernav a Kamakiriad. I for one shall not be mercury floating to the Peckham Cerebral Download log link to brain read this particular upload.

My neurotransmitters must be up the kazaa, because they failed to pick up this piece of grokenschpiel yesterday.

You are clearly NOT a Bondfan! Flamer's papyrpages may not be as nervefrightening as NO IDENTITY PAPERS, MR BOND on the PlayStation92, but if you mimelode them down from GooglePapyr you'll find the original character of James Bond was a ruthless government restaurant critic. Yes, they have carbonned a bit over the eons, but that is no excuse.

Cavill is a well respected holoboy (did you even SEE his work in the remake of Thomas Mann's NO IDENTITY PAPERS IN VENICE? He was MASTERFUL!) and he has provided us genuine Flamerfans with blissful nanoneurons in our pleasuredomes.

Finally, Kamakiriads' tech is Balinese, and everyone knows Bond is Japanese (and has been since YOU ONLY LIVE FOREVER).

Can someone alert the Bond secret police about this revolutionary? I think he needs imprisoning.

57.3th Octember 2076

THX

Grokenschpiel? Ur crash of the synapse is in keeping with ur density of yr sends. Doubt my Bondfanness, u will? U really are organic! Yes, I kno JB00.7 was a ruthless government restaurant critic. Flamer restated, often, that his main icon was a recycled papyr booby who employed blunt instruments of ate.

NIDMB is a gr8 upload and keeps to the DNA of the original papyrpages. I'm not a Flamer 100%ist and figure diluted JB00.7 is more pervasive than the non-marketable PERMIT 2 RECYCLE (which really affected the Franchisedaq - it lost 2 points on that launch alone!)

NE1 with a complete drive of archives will kno Cavill is not only pleasuresome but has a high pixel perf. The last JB00.7 had uploads of 6 billion. And that was in the United States of Europe alone, b4 u factor interactive! And it is said, Her Royal Presidentness, Eugenie Hussein has organistics 4 him 2.

Well, if u brain read YOLF carefully, u will c JB00.7 is only 0.5 Japanalian. He is actually 0.5 Zchotcherlandish 2. At least, his has genomes of such. And he works for USE's Anglotonian minority.

Not revolutionary, but evolutionary. My CO2 gills are evid of that while I bet u still have 2 oxengen8 ur plasma. You organ! BondPolizei kno who I am. My ancestor for my DNA helix 127 was a CMG of CB.n, as NE1 with 3 lobes will kno is the official nomencl 4 BondPolizei. But the way ur going, u'll be moderated 4 a few old earth days.

[ACE]

Thank you for contacting the Bond secret police, brought to you in association with Jus-Rol Pastry and Light Artillery plc, for all your pastry and weapons of minor-but-satisfying destruction needs.

Please note that your request used obsolete keyboard technology and is therefore logged in a fluffy holding Whitchurch in orbit around the eleventh Venus.

If you wish the Bond secret police to respond to your call more swiftly, or at all, please ensure your mind is compatible with the following message, and then follow the instructions within it:-




Thank you.

Moderator JIM, CB.n

Bondianez jour!

U must excuse SNF.10. His devolution disables him from using Nwerty interface. He still oxygen8's, the organic! Now, I don't want to sound organicist (some of my best dialcontacts oxygen8) but SNF.10 often has to wait by the Go-tree in the last light of the triple sun, regardless of the postion of the Whitchurch around Slovach (V.11).

Respectful Bondianez.

Hail CBn Admiral D Dubya

[spynovelfan]

Please visit my new site, ACEnotSane.com.

[ACE]

Please visit my new site, ACEnotSane.com.

Known it 4 years!

[Loomis]

Just found this post in www.captaindrummond.net's Fan Fiction section of June 1926:

'Gunmetalspectre, I greatly enjoyed your Drummond story: you clearly have a gift for writing. However, I must say I found the violence of the torture scene a little too much, and you seem to have misunderstood some basic principles of Drummond's character. He is not some debonair playboy! And what on earth is meant to be happening in the back of that car? Has the Captain remarried?'

LOL! Fleming as a poster! Corking, I say, simply corking!

Messages from petitiontogetrogermoorebackasbond.net, 1986:

I'm going on hunger strike until More is reinstated as Bond. Eon's dirty tricks merit dirty protests!!!!....

Hunger strike? Call yourself a fan? How little commitment you have.
I am going to commit ritual seppuku if they do not change their choice of having a dark Bond...

Yeah, how dare they change Bond's look so radically. Roger More was the most successful Bond doing 7 films straight (and as Mike Wilson said last month in Starlog October 1986, Roger could have done a couple more Bonds if he'd wanted to) which were the highest grossing films in the series. The public accepted him and they all said he was nearer to the Ian Fleming concept. Now, to go with a dark haired, lanky, Welsh-accented and dark Bond is a travesty! Bond should be light, an English gentleman and funny. I think Anthony Andrews or Christopher Cazenove should have been Bond. At least they're famous rather than this unknown boyo!

And I really think they should chuck John Barry - far too old, man. On Pathe.com, they said that Georgio Moroder was in talks to do the score and I really think they need to get someone like Limahl or OMD to sing the theme song.

And I know it was in that recent time travel movie, but Bond should drive a DeLorean. Cool car, cooler with Q gadgets. Maybe it should fly.

And I think Bond needs to go somewhere exotic. Say the Middle East. He shouldn't be political and should go to a friendly state. Like Iraq. Maybe he could help the Western ally, a guy called President Soddom Hussein defeat the those gunboats in the Straights of Hormuz and rescue the hostages in Beirut. On second thoughts, the producers would never involve Bond in a quasi geopolitical story that would be dated so quickly....

Superb, Mr ACE, superb!

[ACE]

Superb, Mr ACE, superb!

It's the company I keep!

[Kingdom Come]

A friend of mine, Maurice Binder, is a stationary rep and is also an artist and he told me that the James Bond people have shown interest in his work. You should see his flat, it is covered in little round coloured dots.

[doublenoughtspy]

September 16, 1970

I just saw some pics of John Gavin walking to get some food at a cafeteria.

OMG! He will be the best Bond EVER EVER EVER! Connery and Lazenby suck compared to him!

Those luzers at johngavinnotbond.com are so lame! Boy will I have the last laugh!

John Gavin = Ian R Flemmmmming's James Bond!

- Triplenoughtspyer

[Mister Asterix]

Please visit my new site, ACEnotSane.com.

関西

[ACE]

September 16, 1970

I just saw some pics of John Gavin walking to get some food at a cafeteria.

OMG! He will be the best Bond EVER EVER EVER! Connery and Lazenby suck compared to him!

Those luzers at johngavinnotbond.com are so lame! Boy will I have the last laugh!

John Gavin = Ian R Flemmmmming's James Bond!

- Triplenoughtspyer

( LOL. Good one, DoubleNought!)


16.09.1970

Yeah, I saw that picture about John Gavin. It's a shame George Lastenby can't do another one but that press release about him being too good for the role explained that.

Yeah, johngavinnotbond.com are real eggheads. Sheez, can't they just wait for the man to show us what he can do. I'm so thrilled with him that I have place a VERY LARGE bet at the bookies saying that Gavin will make the highest grossing Bond ever! If he doesn't I lose the fortune but don't worry, I won't lose.

Robert Leyland

[ACE]

A friend of mine, Maurice Binder, is a stationary rep and is also an artist and he told me that the James Bond people have shown interest in his work. You should see his flat, it is covered in little round coloured dots.

LOL

[Mister Asterix]

COMPUSERVE READY
////////////////////////////

>>> MESSAGE BY: MRFOOTNOAT [DATE: 01/02/74 2354]

> I HEAR THEY ARE REPLACING ROGER MORE. GOOD
> THING. HE IS TERRIBLE. HE WOULD NEVER LAST
> AS BOND.

\\\ END MESSAGE

[doublenoughtspy]

A friend of mine, Maurice Binder, is a stationary rep and is also an artist and he told me that the James Bond people have shown interest in his work. You should see his flat, it is covered in little round coloured dots.

Yea, my friend Peter Hunt has also been approached. I like hanging out with him, except when he starts leaping around with scissors.

"Jump cutting" is just a fad, methinks.