207 replies to this topic

[Hitch]

Silhouette Man,

Thanks for the thanks. I wish you luck in tracking down anything else you need, particularly the other John Gardner "Boysie Oakes" books.

So, who else here needs their day brightening by coming home to a free Bond (or other genre hero) book? If I can find the book and can afford to buy it and post it, then the precioussss will be yours for free.

Be the envy of your friends and relations as you hold aloft a moth-eaten paperback and shout "Excalibur!" or similar. Relive your youth, take your mind off puberty, look forward to adulthood or simply run in the street naked and foaming at the mouth in sheer jubilation at receiving a free and rare espionage classic.

What have you got to lose? Read the thread and make up your mind. The only gambling involved is the luck of the chase. Hitch will be on the case, striding through the rain-swept streets, bent on hunting down rogue books everywhere.

*Warning: referring to oneself in the third person is usually an indication of full-blown paranoiac delusion.*

If your finger is trembling over the computer keyboard, think on this:

When the stakes are high, always bet on Bond.

[Hitch]

Number Six,

I dropped in at my favourite bookshop and looked high and very low for some Saint hardbacks. Unfortunately, there was a power cut and I was forced to borrow a flaming torch from the owner so I couldn't see very much. What Saint books I found in the basement weren't very suitable and I expressed my frustration to a fellow who was also looking for something. He was very encouraging and told me to persevere. "One must see these things through," he said and disappeared into the further recesses of the shop. Nice chap, but he had a faintly piratical air about him and as he left he whistled a tune I couldn't quite place. Anyway, I continued to look and just as my torch was starting to gutter I found my prize.

It's a battered, shop-worn and stained hardback by Leslie Charteris. There's no slipcover, though that may have something to do with the fact that it's a July 1947 Hodder & Stoughton first edition of The Saint Sees It Through.

Send me a PM with your full postal address and it's yours for free.

Any other CBn members out there who want to roll the dice?

[Hitch]

Perhaps I should rename this thread "Roll Da Bones" or something else suitably er...hip and ermmm...(checks dictionary)...happening, yes that's it, happening, in order to attract some of the, let's see, with it, members of the CBn community.

*combs chest hair, snaps fingers, clears the dance floor and commences "The Hustle"*

[Qwerty]

Let me know if you want to update/slighly change the thread title.

[Hitch]

Qwerty,

Thanks but I'll keep the thread title as it is for the moment. I've never been up to date with anything.

Will no-one rid me of these turbulent books?

Wow, historical allusions as well - who said Bond was just "kiss kiss bang bang"?

[Hitch]

Number Six has decided that he is a free man, not a number, and has sent me a PM accepting my offer of the precious artefact (see posts above).

*calms cheering crowd, modestly accepts Nobel Peace Prize*

Who's next? Step right this way, folks. Second prize is a goldfish.

[Qwerty]

Qwerty,

Thanks but I'll keep the thread title as it is for the moment. I've never been up to date with anything.   

Will no-one rid me of these turbulent books?

Wow, historical allusions as well - who said Bond was just "kiss kiss bang bang"?

No problem!

[Hitch]

Number Six,

I've been rather busy and haven't had the time to post your book. (And when I did have it I was too lazy to post it.) Sorry. I'll send it to you this week, I promise.

And at this point I think it's best if I finally, genuinely, firmly end my offer of a free book to CBn members. I shall have to cite lack of interest and too many tumbleweeds rolling across my PC screen. Thanks to everyone who contributed to the thread and made it such fun. I'll add another post when Number Six's book is in the post, but after that this thread will become an ex-parrot.

*Bows, walks off the stage, waits to be dragged back in front of the Apollo Theatre's adoring audience by James Brown's entourage, waits some more, shrugs, walks off alone into the night, gradually fades into the distance. A muted jazz trumpet moans gently and...*

CUT! Thankyou Mr, erm, Hitch. We'll be in touch. Next!

[Qwerty]

Thank you indeed.

[Hitch]

Number Six,

Aaargh! Yesterday I did a little tidying and uncovered your book hiding under a stack of paperwork - and then I realised I had forgotten all about the book and that you were patiently waiting for it.

It's now in the post and should be with you after the Easter weekend. Thanks for not complaining - I have usually sent requested books as soon as possible and I'm afraid you drew the short straw. Still, I think the book is worth waiting for.

...and if, perchance, anyone would like a book (yes Qwerty, I know I said this thread was dead - you should know better by now ) then read the previous posts: there are a few free books hanging around Hitch HQ that might be of interest.

Bye!

[Blofeld's Cat]

YEAH!!!

[Qwerty]

(yes Qwerty, I know I said this thread was dead - you should know better by now ) then read the previous posts: there are a few free books hanging around Hitch HQ that might be of interest.

Keep this fun/generous thread going as long as you can/want to for all I know.

[Number Six]

Yesterday, I hurried out to my post office to find a package notification. Unfortunately, I got there at 4:31, and the main office closed at 4:30. The woman standing on the other side of the glass doors seemed to get a kick out of my disappointment.

Today, running late again, I left my house at 4:15, only to find myself going through a license check, having to wait in line for some construction, waiting again to pass a minor wreck in which the participants refused to move their cars from the roadway, and then, as if to add insult to injury, I got behind a car with hydraulics on gold rims that could drive no more than 15 mph, I guess, for fear of wrecking their ride.

But I managed to get to the post office by 4:29, to find a most curious letter from a British company called Universal Exports. Seems that they don't have an employee record for a Mr. Templar after all. But, courteous as they are, they passed along "par avion" some promotional material from the Pastoral Department -- a neat little book with an icon of a stick figure with a halo.

Thanks again, Hitch! I finally got it, though it seemed that enemy agents were trying to block my every move. You are, as they say, a...Saint...among men.

--Eric

[Hitch]

Number Six,

Your epic tale of getting to the Post Office is worthy of Mr Templar himself! I'm delighted that the book finally arrived and I hope you enjoy reading it.

As luck would have it, the recently repaired East Tower of my local bookshop today received a new tumbril of books, and I managed to slip past the bullet-headed shelf stacker to have a look. There was a handful of Saint Pan paperbacks, some of which dated from the 60s and 70s I think (I had to hurry because the machine-gunner's blind spot covers a small area) and a Pan paperback of Thunderball whose cover sported a tie-in with the Sean Connery film. I hadn't seen that copy of Thunderball before, but I was forced to leave the books there because my invisibility cloak was beginning to splutter. Such is life.

Bye!

[Hitch]

*creeps down corridor, brushes cobwebs aside*

*rattles keys, pops head around surprisingly thick door*

Hallo? Anyone home?

*coughs*

I could have sworn I heard someone lurking down here. One of these days I'll bump into a Bond fan looking for a free book and it'll be the death of...one of us.

*returns back up corridor, hears rather large rats scurrying nearby, sprints up winding stone stairs*

Edited by Hitch, 08 April 2005 - 09:33 PM.

[Hitch]

"Q, what is this? I thought we left chemical warfare to others?"

"Stop coughing, 007, it's simply everyday dust. Now, pay attention. I know this thread has been out of commission for a while - "

"I have lapels that are more fashionable than this thread, Q."

" - but it's still serviceable. You see that "Add Reply" button? Press it, and a fully loaded Fleming Pan novel is despatched at high speed to the nearest Bond fan who has never read one."

" - and what about this?"

"Don't touch that! That's the "Begging" button, to be used only by those Fleming fans who have read some, but not all, of the Maestro's Bond series. It's to be used in an emergency. The handbook - which for this mission will be known as 'the thread' - consists of four pages, I believe"

"I see. Is this an open invitation for Fleming virgins to slip between the covers, Q?"

"Oh, do grow up, 007."

[Jaws0178]

Hitch,
I hate to see you not getting any people type responses. I don't suppose you will send a second one Angel Dr. way, will ya? Please??????? I would be once again greatly appreciative. Come on guys. Step right up. The man is doing this to help introduce you noobs to the wonderful world of the 007 that drives a Bentley, and smokes a heck of alot. So come one, come all. This is not a scam. Take my word for it. I happen to be looking at my copy of Moonraker right now. He is also very good about sending them quickly. Mind you, Number Six was a hiccup, but I think he was protecting 007 cause "Number Six" sounds suspiciously like he is from SPECTRE. I don't trust him. Just pickin at ya 6. Hey Hitch, ifn you do agree, how bout The Man with the Golden Gun. If not, hey, I owe you enough anyway. Update: Never mind. Number Six can't be with SPECTRE, anybody who gets annoyed with idiots with Gold Rimmed old Chevrolet (I'll bet) who only go 15 mph is okay with me.

Todd

Edited by Jaws0178, 15 July 2005 - 04:52 AM.

[k13oharts]

Perchance, would there be any Coronet-style paperbacks in your bookstore for Qwerty and me? Qwerty still requires some Fleming
Qwerty: Pardon if I ask for you too, lolz
It would surely be the best Christmas gift although it's still far away.

[Hitch]

***INCOMING MESSAGE RE. JAWS0178 & QWERTY MOST PRIVATE:

I Only Give Once.

MESSAGE ENDS***

***ERRATA***

k13oharts Supplies Chit Diverted To Statistical Improbability Department Stop Will Make Enquiries At Soonest Convenience Comma But Suggest You Seek Alternative Escape Route Godspeed

MESSAGE ENDS***

Edited by Hitch, 16 July 2005 - 10:33 PM.

[Jaws0178]

Hitch, to be perfectly honest, I posted to try to drum up some people for you. I actually already own TMWTGG. SO :: blows raspberry:: There Just pickin at ya. I already owe you so much so...

[Qwerty]

Perchance, would there be any Coronet-style paperbacks in your bookstore for Qwerty and me? Qwerty still requires some Fleming
Qwerty: Pardon if I ask for you too, lolz
It would surely be the best Christmas gift although it's still far away.

Very kind of you, but no thanks. I can most certainly find the books on my own - and Hitch had already gone exceedingly out of his way IMO to send me a very interesting book that I'd never heard of or seen before. Completely by surprise.

Hitch isn't just a kind CBn'er, but as a person in general.

[k13oharts]

***INCOMING MESSAGE RE. JAWS0178 & QWERTY MOST PRIVATE:

I Only Give Once.

MESSAGE ENDS***

***ERRATA***

k13oharts Supplies Chit Diverted To Statistical Improbability Department Stop Will Make Enquiries At Soonest Convenience Comma But Suggest You Seek Alternative Escape Route Godspeed

MESSAGE ENDS***

k13oharts blows up the screen to erase electronic transmission.
(huh?! )

Very kind of you, but no thanks. I can most certainly find the books on my own - and Hitch had already gone exceedingly out of his way IMO to send me a very interesting book that I'd never heard of or seen before. Completely by surprise.

Hitch isn't just a kind CBn'er, but as a person in general.

Thanks H!

[Frostyak]

I would like to thank you as well. I started buying up the Penguin editions a few years back and was suprised/amazed at how much better they were than the movies (and I of course, love the movies). Fleming gives such vivid details I found myself going to the internet constantly to research his references.

People should go out and buy these for themselves, but it is great that you are doing this.

- Chris

[Hitch]

Frostyak,

Most kind - thank you. I agree about the books; the films are fun, but Fleming is an enduring pleasure.

[Hitch]

I hadn't visited the old shop for quite a while, but they welcomed me back with open claws. It's nice to know they value their best customers. As they strapped me into a very comfortable chair and asked me what I wanted for my last request (the Balkan Sobranie having already been lit for me), my thoughts turned to a certain Pan paperback which I had heard of but never seen: On Her Majesty's Secret Service or, to give it its full title, "The New James Bond - 007 in Ian Fleming's On Her Majesty's Secret Service". Legend has it that the cover features a picture of an Antipodean gentleman surrounded by a bevy of swimwear models.

Did they have it? But of course - it was dropped in my lap with aplomb. Now, if only they'll give me enough time to read it...

*Bzzzt*

*Crackle*

http://www.artofjame...movie_front.jpg

Does anyone want a used, shopworn 1965 4th printing of the Pan paperback movie tie-in? If so, please read this thread.

Edited by Hitch, 26 July 2005 - 08:58 PM.

[Hitch]

It seems that Bond, a relic of the Cold War, has joined the other dinosaurs in that great carbon layer in the...erm...ground. The little bookshop of legend has sold the remaining Pan paperbacks (though it seemed to me that the basement furnace was looking rather merry), so my offer of a free Bond classic paperback must come to an end, though Messrs Lazenby and Gardner are still available.(Read previous posts for details.)

I stood outside the bookshop, cursing my luck, when my eye fell upon a rack of newly displayed books. I popped my glass eye back in and saw to my amazement a collection of ten Saint paperbacks by Leslie Charteris. Half of them were Pan paperbacks with covers eerily similar to the Fleming paperbacks of the same vintage, and the other half were from the mid-fifties and featured bright yellow covers. I was about to examine them when I caught a whiff of tear gas emanating from an open window on the first floor - doubtless the Politics section had overcrowded again, so I beat a hasty retreat.

Is anyone interested? If so, please read the thread.

Edited by Hitch, 10 September 2005 - 02:01 AM.

[Hitch]

This never happened to the other fella.

I'm back - and I'm waving my Bond wand. Impounded at customs and swapped at the border for a bottle of rough vin ordinaire and some rather pungent Brie:

One 1964 12th printing Pan paperback of For Your Eyes Only.

Here's a look at the cover to whet your appetite (second row, first on the left): FYEO.

CONTENTS: From A View To A Kill, For Your Eyes Only, Quantum of Solace, Risico, The Hildebrand Rarity.

As the book's sub-title has it, these are Five secret occasions in the life of James Bond. The copy, which will of course have to be smuggled out of the country in the knapsack of a plain-clothes RAF officer, is tired and in need of Botox. But it's free.

Usual restictions apply: read this thread from start to finish (discipline, 007, discipline), and ask yourself if you have ever read this fantastic collection of stories by Ian Fleming. If you haven't discovered these stories, or you would like to give these stories to someone who hasn't read them, follow the usual procedure and I may raise the checkered border gate and let you through.

Edited by Hitch, 08 November 2005 - 08:47 AM.

[Lazenby880]

I only saw this thread today and thought I should comment on Hitch's Danny Wallace-esque altruism. What a top chap. Not only can he write some cracking yarns, he also wants to make other people happier through Random Acts of Kindness (read the hugely entertaining Join Me to understand).

These Charteris books sound great, if still available. I shall comply with the initial restriction and read through the entire thread in the morning. But first Hitch you are to be commended for your generosity.

Edited by Lazenby880, 08 November 2005 - 12:24 AM.

[medrecess]

I would appreciate if you have a copy of John Gardner'S Goldeneye

[Hitch]

Hi medrecess,

It's good to see you drop by this unfrequented corner of CBn.

*dusts furniture*

(By the way, I must ask members to give a reason for their request, e.g. they haven't read it or it's a present for a friend who hasn't read it, or they have a really good reason for wanting the book, etc. It's just a precaution to stop people scooping up books for free, and it should make the thread fun to read.)

Where was I? Oh, yes. I was about to pick up a copy of Mr Gardner's Goldeneye when a shark with a fricking laser beam incinerated it before my eyes. The shop's wildlife department can get a bit...wild. Sorry. That's the luck of the draw. Sometimes I can find a book and store it in my super-protected Morris Minor, sometimes I can't. If I haven't mentioned a book in this thread then I probably don't have it; the bookshop's stock isn't as big as it once was - the entire establishment has moved into an old police telephone box. Weird.

*drives off car park into street below and smashes into shop window risking the lives of dozens of innocent people in a very enjoyable but entirely illogical manner*