207 replies to this topic

[Hitch]

Or would you rather have a dictionary?

[C_M_Bianchi]

no i would not

[Hitch]

I'm sure that all Bond fans have rejoiced at NASA'a announcement of its new mission to the moon and then Mars. It's called Orion. Apparently the boffins were tired of saying "lunarredplanetmultiplestagerocketthingy" and decided to adopt a sleepy little word that was having an easy time of it, like Apollo or Sputnik. So Orion it is.

Moonraker is much catchier.

*Thank you to NATO's listening stations for intercepting this coded transmission. The typed-up handbook is now waiting in Q Branch, to be collected by one of the cheekier members of the Double-O Section.*

Timpossible, please send me a PM with your FULL postal address.

[Hitch]

*dons safari jacket*

*remembers Barbara Woodhouse obedience lessons*

"Sit!!"

Yes, CBn's very own big pussy, The Cat, has been kind enough to resend his/her/it's postal address. One rather spiffing copy of Licence to Kill by John Gardner will soon be on its way to the musical furball (see previous posts in this thread for details of the book).

Miaow!

[Bond Maniac]

Hi all....i am from Brasil and also would like a free book I want Dr.No or You only live Twice. Can it be? Does this storehas any Jonh Gardner book to sell? They are like hell to find around here

[Hitch]

Bond Maniac,

So sorry but, as I've already said, my offer has ended. Apart from a couple of very late applicants (see above) and those who have yet to resend their addresses I'm no longer able to send books to Bond fans, even though I'd love to help you out. Maybe one day I'll buy a bar of chocolate and find a golden ticket giving me entry once more to that magical bookshop. But until then...

I wish you luck in your search.

[Bond Maniac]

Oh bummer! Well thank you very much anyway.Will have to resume the search around here then.

[darthbond]

I want you all to know that his offer was soild gold true. I recieved my copy of From Russia, With Love just as I asked for. I am in his debt.

darthbond

[C_M_Bianchi]

so did you find a LALD? please say yes!

[Hitch]

Chris, I'll give you a definite answer in a couple of days, ok?

Timpossible and The Cat - apologies for the delay. I've been rather busy and a bit under the weather lately so M sent me to a health farm to dry out. You should get your books next week.

[timpossible]

Timpossible and The Cat - apologies for the delay. I've been rather busy and a bit under the weather lately so M sent me to a health farm to dry out. You should get your books next week.

Don't worry about it, Hitch. I hope you feel better soon.

[Hitch]

Chris/C_M_Bianchi,

Please send me a PM with your FULL postal address so I can Lick And Let Deliver.

Edited by Hitch, 19 September 2006 - 08:46 AM.

[bond_girl_double07]

Is there anything you'd like Mr. Hitch? You sound as if you have a pretty decent collection of the novels and an even better used bookstore, but a girl can dig

[Hitch]

How did I miss this post? It's not often that a Bond Girl digs me. Thank you very much for your kind offer, but unless you can find me an unpublished story by Ian Fleming, Conan Doyle or Shakespeare I shall release you from your duties and send you to a charming place high in the Alps for a fortnight's holiday...

To those people waiting oh-so-patiently for books: life has been busy kicking yours truly in the bottom, hence the delay. I will despatch the books this week so you can get a warm fuzzy feeling inside and be fully prepared for Casino Royale.

*lights pipe*

And then I can finally close this dossier and give it to Moneypenny to file.

[Hitch]

TO ALL STATIONS COLON FIND ENCLOSED Q BRANCH SUPPLIES CHIT FOR ITEMS CONFIRMED IN TRANSIT STOP AIR FORCES WILL COMBINE IN OPERATION HITCH PULLS FINGER OUT COMMA AND THEN RETURN TO BASES IN TIME FOR TEA MESSAGE ENDS

Dispatch of items confirmed. Authorisation: M

C_M_Bianchi: One very vintage hardback of Live and Let Die. Ignore the racism, enjoy the rest of the wonderfully exciting tale, and don't tell your mother. By the time you've finished it you'll be in the perfect frame of mind for the new Casino Royale.

Timpossible: Inclement weather has continually delayed the launch of Moonraker, a forty-year-old Pan paperback sponsored by NASA and the Union of Wheeltappers and Shunters. Some Craig Not Bonders doubt whether it should be allowed to fly one last time, but Q Branch insists it's in pristine order despite its advanced age. The Double-O Section has therefore issued a collective, "To hell with it!" and pressed the big red button. It'll get you in the mood for CR.

The Cat: If felines have nine lives then you've used up a few of them while waiting for the paperback of Licence to Kill . Never fear, once this excellent copy (featuring Timothy Dalton in a Craig-like pose on the cover) arrives, you can claw it to pieces; that will definitely sharpen your claws for Daniel's dangly bits.

All three of you: Please post in this thread if your book manages to avoid the clutches of Smersh/Spectre/Jose Mourinho and arrives safely.

Now, I have one copy of Licence Renewed waiting to go undercover but I don't know who wanted it. (I'm ridiculously disorganised so you'll have to contact me and I promise I'll send it to you.)

And that, really, finally, and truly, is it. In the last year and a bit, I've sent free vintage Bond books to all parts of America, Northern Ireland, Austria, Holland, Hungary, Scotland and Germany. It's been wonderful to imagine them brightening someone's day. I apologise to those people I couldn't help or who I kept waiting due to my ill health, computer problems, laziness and poor paperwork. I really must sack my secretary. (Inside joke for those who've got a book from me.)

I hope all who've read this thread have enjoyed doing so. Thanks to CBn for allowing what at first must have sounded a bit dubious. This is a friendly website and I hope I've made it a bit more cuddly.

*waves goodbye*

Now shove off and read some Fleming.

[timpossible]

You've made a Bond fan very happy this morning. Nice cover letter, made me laugh. Thanks again, Hitch, for your great generosity; it's a nice gift in time for Casino Royale!

[*Gala*]

Thank you for your generous offer Hitch... Must say that I am absolutely mortified at being one to come to these forums so late by almost an entire year. But I do want to tell you that I appreciate what you have done for our fellow Bond fans out there in the world and that such deeds are VERY rare in this world. The REAL Bond - the one that I don't think many know and even less understand.

Well, had I been here in time I would have obviously asked for Moonraker because it is my favorite by a long shot and I am sick and tired of being a closet-Bond-fan even though my primary justification for that has to be that agents don't reveal their alibi to be false on a simple whim or mood swing. I'd say I deserve it simply because finding a book of any real value here overseas in Dubai is an absolute nightmare, yet alone trying to convince people at bookstores here that yes... the Bond movies began as NOVELS. Nobody here knows that. Fascinating.

Therefore having one book back from Fleming's era would be absolutely priceless - it's a piece of art from history and I've been stuck in a place where modernisation is sooooo fast that history's beauty is without a doubt underrated. Besides, my favorite character is there and due to a sneaky piece of evidence of parents plus my own name, I've taken to her quite personally. Obsessed, c'est vrai. However, I suppose my little rant here is just for kicks - the fact that I am terribly late is enough to justify that.

[Hitch]

Gala, thank you for your kind comments. You've made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm afraid I used my last Moonraker on Bonfire Night so you'll just have to buy a new copy, brush it with vinegar and stick it in the oven on a low heat for half an hour. Then you can pretend your copy is forty years old. But don't worry - I'll bunk off during my next tea-break at the Lapland Global Warming Academy, throw some pixie dust in the fireplace and rush along to that mysterious bookshop whose owners love me so much. (I know they like me because the last time we spoke via our Batphones, the staff said they'd love to introduce me to their Medical Section and give me a good going-over. So considerate.) I'll let you know if a copy appears.

C_M_Bianchi and The Cat: I've yet to hear that your books have arrived. Please enlighten me - I've never had a book go astray before.

Medrecess...erm...on re-reading this thread it seems that you're the one who asked for Licence Renewed. I'm such an idiot - it was staring me in the face all this time. If you send me a PM with your full postal address you might even get your book by Christmas!

[C_M_Bianchi]

No, Hitch. I have yet to get a book When did you send it?

[Hitch]

Damn and blast. I posted your book on the 3rd of November, so it can't have been delayed in the Christmas backlog. Your book was a 1956 Reprint Society hardback of Live and Let Die, and things like that don't grow on trees. I'm irritated and embarrassed, especially because I don't have a registration slip to trace the book.

*sigh*

It looks like we have a rogue agent on our hands, Chris. So sorry. To make up for it, I've just spoken to Igor, the nightwatchman at my favourite bookshop. He tells me that they have a 1973 Book Club Associates hardback of LALD in stock. It has a rather naff silver cover and has seen better days but he's willing to retrieve it from the teeth of his guard dog, Cerberus.

Did I mention that it has a few optional extras? If you press the book's spine in the right place, the front cover slides back to reveal not just Live and Let Die, but also Diamonds Are Forever and Dr No. Q Branch are calling it an "omnibus". Would you like it? If so, say so in this thread and send me your FULL postal address via PM. (I've deleted the PM you sent me previously.)

Edited by Hitch, 30 December 2006 - 01:04 AM.

[C_M_Bianchi]

Are you serious about the Book feauturing all three?

[Hitch]

Oh, I can't resist it...

"I never joke about my work, 007."

Yes, the book is an omnibus and contains all three novels. You'll get 748 pages of creamy Flemingesque goodness in one hardback. The font is large and easy to read. DAF is my least favourite Fleming novel (though it's still great) but LALD and DN are tremendous fun. If you can, try to read all the books in order (you'll find where the three books come in the canon if you consult CBn's literary section) otherwise you may find the jumps in continuity a bit confusing.

(I have your PM. You probably won't get the book until mid-January because it takes a while for postal systems to recover from Christmas.)

I'm still miffed about Live and Let Die going missing; it's the first time this has happened to me. A 1956 hardback is the type of thing that makes Bond fans salivate - I was delighted to find it in the first place. Let's hope it eventually ends up in the hands of someone who appreciates it.

Anyway, here's a not-very-good picture of the omnibus. I hope you like it.

A James Bond Omnibus

[*Gala*]

Gala, thank you for your kind comments. You've made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm afraid I used my last Moonraker on Bonfire Night so you'll just have to buy a new copy, brush it with vinegar and stick it in the oven on a low heat for half an hour. Then you can pretend your copy is forty years old. But don't worry - I'll bunk off during my next tea-break at the Lapland Global Warming Academy, throw some pixie dust in the fireplace and rush along to that mysterious bookshop whose owners love me so much. (I know they like me because the last time we spoke via our Batphones, the staff said they'd love to introduce me to their Medical Section and give me a good going-over. So considerate.) I'll let you know if a copy appears

Thank you Hitch! I'll eagerly await for a copy of Moonraker to appear!

[Monkeyfoahead]

I'm sorry I'm so late, but is the offer still open?

[Hitch]

Monkeyfoahead,

Sorry, I'm afraid not. I'm trying to get Gala her Moonraker because, well, because I'm a soft touch, but hers is the final request otherwise I shall be giving books away until Doomsday. But thanks for asking.











Of course, at some unspecified date in the distant future I may decide to remove the dustsheets from Hitch Hall's furniture and once more declare this thread open for business. Never say never again.

Edited by Hitch, 30 December 2006 - 07:37 PM.

[C_M_Bianchi]

Thanks for being so kind and sending that book. You are one of the nicest persons.

[Monkeyfoahead]

Monkeyfoahead,

Sorry, I'm afraid not. I'm trying to get Gala her Moonraker because, well, because I'm a soft touch, but hers is the final request otherwise I shall be giving books away until Doomsday. But thanks for asking.



That's alright, thanks anyways. Have a good one.







Of course, at some unspecified date in the distant future I may decide to remove the dustsheets from Hitch Hall's furniture and once more declare this thread open for business. Never say never again.

[*Gala*]

Monkeyfoahead,

Sorry, I'm afraid not. I'm trying to get Gala her Moonraker because, well, because I'm a soft touch, but hers is the final request otherwise I shall be giving books away until Doomsday. But thanks for asking.

Must say that you're a true gentleman in my case...