207 replies to this topic

[wattenscheid09]

And here's your baby - safely arrived in snowy Austria... I like the contrast between the sunny/golden book-cover and the bleak/wintery surroundings...

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[Jaws0178]

Wow. It looks great. I sold mine. Hey! Why is Hitch pointing a Golden Gun at me. Wait. :: rereads conversation:: Ahh, crap! :: Runs for the door::

I'm just kidding, Hitch. It is safely ensconed here somewhere. Very cluttered here at the Jaws household, what with steel teeth and such.

BTW, congrats on the promotion. Can I be the helmsman, please, please?

Edited by Jaws0178, 01 February 2005 - 11:48 AM.

[Hitch]

Wattenscheid09, your picture has made my day. I see 007 has made it to your ice palace. No doubt he'll warm it up pretty soon.

Jaws0178, only CBn can decide naval rank and duties, I'm afraid. And as all old fighting men will tell you, never volunteer for anything. Anyway, can an American make a decent cuppa? By the way, which do you prefer - the Moonraker film or book?

Joyce, I haven't posted your books yet - I'll let you know when they're on the way.

All other CBn members - although M has removed my licence to send, drop me a line and I'll ransack the archives. I'm sure the Service has some Pan books somewhere...

[Jaws0178]

Hey! I can make a decent cuppa! I have a cuppa Earl Grey every morning that I make myself.But I agree. Mayhap I shouldn'tve volunteered. Hmmm?

And as to the Book or Movie situation. Probably the book. The movie was good, but I think the book is slightly better, from what I have read, mind you. I've gotten up to like Chapter 10 (been busy)

Edited by Jaws0178, 01 February 2005 - 12:18 PM.

[wattenscheid09]

"M" whistling ... (giggle, TMWTGG readers will get it) - God, this is fun. Where was all this humour in the earlier books?

[Hitch]

Joyce,

Moonraker and For Your Eyes Only are in the post. Sorry to have kept you waiting.

TheSaint: Did you know something we didn't? I wonder if you're going to mention the new Bond film to your friends - and then whip out your classic Pan paperback from your holster?

Wattenscheid09,

Yes, The Man With The Golden Gun is uneven, but it is great fun. I'd like to bet that every single man (I'm sure Fleming would excuse all the women ) who has ever read the book at one point pursed their lips and started to whistle. There's nothing like Fleming to put a smile on your face.

Now, has the announcement of Casino Royale as Bond21 reopened my offer? There's only one way to find out. But, as John Gardner almost said: No Deals, Mr Bond...

Edited by Hitch, 04 February 2005 - 09:44 AM.

[Hitch]

Joyce, small mistake in the last post. I've sent you For Your Eyes Only and Diamonds Are Forever, as requested, not FYEO and Moonraker. Mea culpa.

Now, I ask again - is my offer still open? And for how long? Surely all the kerfuffle over Bond21 being Casino Royale will flush out someone who wants a free classic Fleming Pan paperback? If so, please read the previous posts.

Or have you had your six?

[Hitch]

Ah me, it seems my offer is as welcome as an anal eructation in a spacesuit. Not to be a tease or anything but I shall take my ball home with me on Tuesday 1200GMT.

If you've followed this thread and thought: "Hmmm, I'd love a Fleming Pan paperback from the 60s, but I bet there's a hitch," you'd be right.

There is a Hitch - there's always a Hitch - and I'm right here on my desert island waving madly at the passing liner of Bond fans who are dreamily unaware of the rare books arranged on the beach to form the message "SOS".

Rant over - you have 24 hours to complete your mission.

*Walks off in a huff*

[Joyce Carrington]

Received FYEO and Diamonds Are Forever just now. They almost look like they're new!

Thank you very much for this, Hitch.

Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

[Hitch]

My pleasure, Joyce. For a first printing, your copy of FYEO is in very good condition - but DAF looks untouched. I was amazed when it picked it up - there is barely a blemish and with an uncracked spine to boot! I hope I can say the same when I reach 40.

You can do something for me Joyce: be a writer. You have the talent and the determination. Go for it. I want to see your books and films.

How else is 009 going to get her own franchise?

Everyone else - two hours to go before my offer closes for good. All you have to do is say yes...ja...oui...si...da...

[Hitch]

Silhouette Man,

Thanks for asking. I don't think there are any Bond reference books in the shop. There are two hardback copies of Licence Renewed by John Gardner. I seem to remember spying an old paperback of The Ipcress File that was in good condition but I'll have to look for Horse Under Water. There is a good selection of Sherlock Holmes reference books and continuation novels and a wide range of old books featuring classic British heroes: Saint, Bulldog Drummond, Biggles, etc.

Mission accepted. I'll have a look and let you know.

So, seeing as I'll be visiting my legendary second hand bookshop in a few hours, this is a chance for CBn members to put their hand up and try their luck. Is there a particular old title/hero/genre that you would like me to root out? If I spot it (not easy because the shop is a warren) and if I can afford it and if the postage is not prohibitively expensive I might send it to you for a price remarkably adjacent to not very much at all. In other words - free. But I'm not promising.

You have three, maybe four hours. Do it now or forever hold your peace.

Edited by Hitch, 08 February 2005 - 10:26 AM.

[Hitch]

Please forgive me for "bumping" this thread but the clock is ticking - I'm off to Narnia this morning so place your orders (see previous post).

[Joyce Carrington]

You can do something for me Joyce: be a writer. You have the talent and the determination. Go for it. I want to see your books and films.

How else is 009 going to get her own franchise? 

Aww...

Thanks, Hitch. *blush*

I'm trying!

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[Hitch]

Great photo, Joyce. Has Q Branch extended your thumb?

One hour to go, folks. Any genre hero/heroine novel, reference book, continuation novel, etc. could be yours if I can find it and afford it (see this morning's posts).

What have you got to lose?

Hitch.

[Joyce Carrington]

Great photo, Joyce. Has Q Branch extended your thumb?

*worries about size of thumb*

Uh... yes they have...

[Qwerty]

Hey, nice For Your Eyes Only version!

[Hitch]

*deepens voice by an octave or two*

Thank you, Meester Qwerty. I think you'll find I deal only in the finest merchandise. You see these covers? Rolled on the thighs of Cuban virgins.

*Clicks fingers*

Rico! A chair for my American friend!

*Draws closer*

Now, to business. As you may know, I deal in the import/export trade, but lately I have been inconvenienced by a meddling Englishman. His name is...

*zzzzt...crackle*

"Blasht, Felixsh! I thought you shaid the SheeIA used top quality microphonesh! I should have lishened to Q..."

Edited by Hitch, 08 February 2005 - 08:45 PM.

[Hitch]

Qwerty, your item is in the post. Q Branch insisted on adding their own little gift, as well...

Enjoy.

[Qwerty]

You really shouldn't have done anything at all extra.

[Qwerty]

My most sincere thanks and appreciation to you Hitch for your kindness. You really seem to go beyond limits.

[Hitch]

Qwerty,

Universal Exports go the extra mile to satisfy their clients.

The Big Q is referring to a couple of unsolicited items I sent him in recognition of the great job he does at CBn:

Item One - a Die Another Day promotional AOL disk given away with the Mail on Sunday newspaper. Nothing special, but it's one for completists.

Item Two - a First Edition of Peter Fleming's The Sixth Column with the dedication, "To my Brother Ian". No-one seemed to notice when I mentioned it in this thread last month, so I thought I'd send this prize piece of Bondiana to a good home.

Now, before I press the big button in the Great Glass Elevator...for the very last time (no, really) who's for a free classic Ian Fleming 60s Pan paperback? Come on, you can't beat reading an old Fleming for atmosphere; much better than these shiny new copies you can buy nowadays. Bond's inventor was still not wasting his days in trying to prolong them when they were published. There's still the faint scent of sex, sadism and snobbery in picking up a book that's seen a few things in its time; they're as streetwise and scarred as 007 himself.

If you ask nicely I shall also search my magic bookshop's collection of old and rare Richard Hannay, The Saint, Bulldog Drummond, Sherlock Holmes, Rider Haggard, Biggles and Horatio Hornblower books. All these great British heroes of yesteryear are sitting neglected in a dusty corner of the old Empire just waiting for a call to arms. Who will save them?

Regards,

Hitch.

[Number Six]

Man oh man, I feel too guilty to get anything for free.

The sound of Saint paperbacks, especially those that accompanied the gentleman adventurer era of the Roger Moore TV show, is very tempting.

But...the idea of getting something for nothing, no strings attached, for some reason puts my soul in knots.

At least there aren't any Man From UNCLE / Avengers / Danger Man / Prisoner books. Then, I'd really be conflicted.

If, on a whim, you saw a Saint book very, very, very, very (and I mean very) cheap. And if somehow you tricked the postal folks into mailing it even cheaper, I'd consider saying that I'd accept the offer.

Argh! Can you see the sturm und drang at work here? I feel like Robert Mitchum's hands.

--Eric

[Hitch]

Let's see...

There are no Saint paperbacks, as far as I can recall. But there are a lot of old hardbacks, mostly in a plain yellow cover with the Saint insignia on the spine (I think, my memory is a bit hazy here). But there are lots of titles, so it might be better if you give me a list of what you would like in order of preference, or if there's a title you've always wanted to read but couldn't track down.

How can anyone so fond of The Saint feel so sinful? Don't worry about it - I absolve you.

I don't remember seeing any of those genre paperbacks you mention, but I'll look for them next time.

[Qwerty]

Item Two - a First Edition of Peter Fleming's The Sixth Column with the dedication, "To my Brother Ian". No-one seemed to notice when I mentioned it in this thread last month, so I thought I'd send this prize piece of Bondiana to a good home.  

A total surprise! I've got some reading to do now!

[Hitch]

Today I dropped into my favourite local secondhand bookshop; I'm sure it was on the other side of the street last time I was there. And the owner seems to be able to climb the rickety staircase without making a board creak. Strange...

Where was I? Oh yes:

Number Six,

Those Saint books are sitting forlornly, just waiting for me to ask one to dance. Give me a title (or better still, a list) and I'll see what I can do.

Qwerty,

I recall you mentioning a fondness for Agatha Christie. Well, (you can guess what's coming) this Tardis* of a bookshop has quite a nice collection of Christie paperbacks (with one or two modern compendiums in hardback) from the 70s and 60s; some of the Pan paperbacks are very similar indeed to the For Your Eyes Only you admired earlier in this thread. Want one? If so, give me a title and/or list...

*ask a Dr Who fan.

I also found another interesting item. There, warming itself brazenly in the weak winter sunshine, lay an unassuming little paperback which certainly hadn't been there a few days ago. It's something I've never read but always wanted to:

Colonel Sun by Robert Markham (Kingsley Amis) in a fairly nice 1970 Pan paperback. Me happy.

Anyone who wants the book will have to wait a little because I'm hoping to savour reading it. In addition, you will have to come up with a good reason for me to send it to you a la the members at the start of this thread. But it helps to be first.

[Qwerty]

Oh, extremely kind of you, but no thanks. I've got quite a few myself at the moment to read. Very much appreciate the thought.

Enjoy Colonel Sun! Be sure to post a review of it on CBn.

[Number Six]

Hitch (I hope you're named after the director, not the Will Smith movie),

I don't have any Saint hardbacks. If'n there are any dirt cheap there, would you mind picking me up one?

If anyone has any 60s Nick Carter or Sam Durell books they wanna get rid of too, lemme know. I'm working on a massive project about fictional secret agents.

--Eric

[Hitch]

NUmber Six,

I'd be delighted to get you a Saint hardback but there are an awful lot of them. Can you give me a particular title or a list to choose from, please? The hardbacks don't feature cover illustrations but come in a yellow slipcover with the Saint insignia on the spine - I think they pre-date the TV series. Charteris wrote thousands (it seems to me) of Saint books, so please give me an idea if there is anything in particular that you'd like.

And I'm called Hitch because there's a hitch...there's always a hitch.

[Number Six]

Hitch:

Close your eyes and pick at random! Or, decide which title sounds the most appealing. Either way, I won't be disappointed.

--Eric

[Hitch]

Number Six,

I'm on the case with the Saint hardbacks. Any day now...

Regular readers of this thread might be interested to know that John Buchan and John Gardner novels have been sent, free of charge, to another member via another thread. No-one said getting a free book would be easy.

For instance, the next item should by rights appear in a different forum on CBn, but this is my thread and unless the Big Q or other administrators ask me to move it, here it will stay. Yes, I'm cantankerous. But with great power comes great reprehensibility.

On visiting my magical secondhand bookshop I tripped over a copy of Lady, Don't Fall Backwards and bumped into what I thought was a blank wall. The wall turned out to be a cunningly disguised door (it's a strange shop) and I discovered a new room filled with dusty copies of neglected books and a rather angry black cat which ran over my feet as I entered. It's a very strange shop.

Anyway, I found a 1988 (and therefore a second) printing of a Guild Publishing hardback of John Gardner's No Deals, Mr Bond. It's in good condition and shares with later editions of From Russia, With Love the same mistake/omission on the front cover: a missing comma. Here's the cover:

http://www.angelfire...mrbondcover.gif

I gather No Deals, Mr Bond is one of the rarer Gardner Bond books. Anyone interested?

Edited by Hitch, 25 February 2005 - 04:06 PM.