775 replies to this topic

[Safari Suit]

Don't forget The Other Side of Darkness. He was unforgettable as the husband.

I'm not sure how many people will get that reference.

[dinovelvet]

Don't forget The Other Side of Darkness. He was unforgettable as the husband.

I'm not sure how many people will get that reference.

I don't get it. Now, back to watching Rochelle, Rochelle.

[Loomis]

Here's something to warm the hearts of us Stallone fans:

http://www.guardian....vester-stallone

Sylvester Stallone to quip while he's ahead in The Expendables

Sly has done better than most in the recent senescent action star revival. The Expendables, featuring almost every ageing -kicker going, will be his magnum opus

Allow me to state the obvious: Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables looks terrible. Of course it does. It has a cast list packed with just about all of the biggest names that the straight-to-DVD movie industry has to offer. It has a trailer - released last week - that makes it looks like a bad photocopy of the sort of goonishly brawny no-budget action films that Channel Five used to show at 2am. It's been written and directed by Stallone, of Stallone High Protein Pudding fame. It looks terrible. And I'll be first in line to see it next year.

Why? Well that's all to do with Stallone's last couple of films. Although Stallone hasn't been the only washed-up action star of recent years who's attempted to resuscitate his career by revisiting old pastures, he has been the only one not to fill his comeback with giant ants, nuclear-proof fridges and fight scenes that culminate on the wing of exploding jet fighters. Instead, Stallone decided to look back to his years in the doldrums for inspiration, and the results have been quietly impressive.

Rocky Balboa turned out to be a graceful, elegant and surprisingly melancholy rumination about a past-his-prime former celebrity fenced in by his own past. It wasn't Rocky's story we were watching, it was Stallone's. And Rambo IV was ... OK, technically Rambo IV was about a monosyllabic beefcake who shoots arrows through foreigners' heads for a living, but scoop away all the gore and you'll find a story that aches with a similar sense of longing.

And now we've got The Expendables to look forward to. And, if anything, it seems as though Stallone's sadness has turned to defiance. The film stars a phalanx of actors central to some of the worst cinema in living memory, like Jason Statham (Death Race), Jet Li (Cradle 2 the Grave), Dolph Lundgren (Fat Slags), Steve Austin (The Condemned) and Brittany Murphy (Just Married). Mickey Rourke and Arnold Schwarzenegger even hop on for the ride, maybe as a reminder to all their lesser counterparts that everyone eventually gets a second chance to either win an Oscar nomination, or run an entire US state into financial disrepair.

Stallone's message with The Expendables couldn't be clearer – he's not alone in feeling let down by the movie industry's obsession with fads, and if Hollywood thinks that it can wash its hands of its sub-rate action stars without a second thought, it has another thing coming. These actors have still got the goods, and they're just itching to be given another shot at the big time.

So it might be shaping up to be a retrograde, testosterone-heavy bonehead marathon comprised of nothing but constant explosions, tired old wisecracks and - if the trailer is anything to go by - a sexy waterboarding sequence. But when The Expendables is released next year, you can bet your life that I'll be right there to pay tribute to these fallen heroes of celluloid, these never-say-die soldiers of a forgotten age who proudly refuse to go gentle into that good night.

Although I'll probably wait for it to come out on DVD first. It seems like the right thing to do, doesn't it?

[Safari Suit]

Hipster toss

[Tarl_Cabot]

Saw the trailor...a little too cheeky for me but it's just a trailor. *fingers crossed*

[Loomis]

Hipster toss

Well, perhaps (although the guy does genuinely seem to have seen and appreciated ROCKY BALBOA and RAMBO, so we could give him the benefit of the doubt and not just dismiss him as a bandwagon-jumper), but in any case let's not look a gift horse in the mouth, eh?

[dinovelvet]

If Guardian wankers want to see it to be "ironic", then that's fine by me, and Sly, I'm sure. Its all money in the bank. Just don't sit near me.

Brittany Murphy is not in the film BTW.

[Safari Suit]

I can see your points, so to speak, but the whole vibe of "it's going to be awful, imperialist garbage...and I can't wait!" is just increadibly unctuous to read. Not that I can honestly say I'm above such behaviour but reading this article is just...ugh. And deliberately listing what this guy assumes are the worst films of the cast members (I doubt he's actually seen many of them) is a bit cheap.

[Loomis]

Well, maybe it's just me, but don't see any condescension or malice in that article. And I love some of the guy's observations:

Although Stallone hasn't been the only washed-up action star of recent years who's attempted to resuscitate his career by revisiting old pastures, he has been the only one not to fill his comeback with giant ants, nuclear-proof fridges and fight scenes that culminate on the wing of exploding jet fighters. Instead, Stallone decided to look back to his years in the doldrums for inspiration, and the results have been quietly impressive.

Rocky Balboa turned out to be a graceful, elegant and surprisingly melancholy rumination about a past-his-prime former celebrity fenced in by his own past. It wasn't Rocky's story we were watching, it was Stallone's. And Rambo IV was ... OK, technically Rambo IV was about a monosyllabic beefcake who shoots arrows through foreigners' heads for a living, but scoop away all the gore and you'll find a story that aches with a similar sense of longing.



And as someone else puts it in the "talkback":

In referencing Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis' most recent revival extravaganzas you've actually highlighted a fairly interesting irony.
These two actors appear, or at least have in the past appeared, to have a certain level of intelligence that they bring to their roles. They're macho, alpha-males, but never ones that have seemed so packed full of testosterone that they're devoid of any 'higher' brain abilities.
They're actors, not brawn-for-hire, who've successfully played demanding, varied roles and shown the awareness to take on parts that play with their action past.

Yet in their comebacks, they both bowed to the big-budget, small brain ethos and in doing so caused damage to their characters and legacy.

Stallone, however, had the balls to take his characters where he saw them as going, and whilst as the article notes this doesn't include very much depth for Rambo (what's the wordcount : bodycount ratio in that film?), this has meant that he's created two films with far more integrity and brain than either Ford or Willis.

Yet Stallone's always seen as the action star whose main focus in life had been exercising ligaments more than lobes.



Finally, it's just great that THE EXPENDABLES is getting so much buzz so far in advance of release. Four years ago, if I'd been told:

A. That ROCKY VI and RAMBO IV would actually end up getting made after twenty years in development hell and with Stallone having become a thoroughly washed-up direct-to-DVD man (D-TOX, AVENGING ANGELO) and host of a reality TV show about boxing hopefuls.

B: That ROCKY VI would not only not be a total embarrassment (as far back as 1982's AIRPLANE II, people were making jokes about endless ROCKY sequels) but would also be an extremely good film rivalling the original in quality.

C: That RAMBO IV would be surprisingly hard-eged and non-superheroic (don't forget that the many, many scripts written over the years for a fourth Rambo outing tended to feature wheezes like Rambo trotting the globe on a Bondian hunt for stolen nukes, and Rambo teaming up with Jackie Chan), and acclaimed by David Morrell as the most authentic cinematic representation of the character he created (trumping even FIRST BLOOD).

D: That ROCKY VI and RAMBO IV would both be significantly superior to the upcoming extensions of the more upmarket DIE HARD and Indiana Jones franchises.

E: That the success of ROCKY VI and RAMBO IV would give Stallone the chance to make the mother of all action movies, which would create such massive buzz as to be the subject of an enthusiastic Guardian article ten months prior to release.

Well, I'd have known that I'd died and gone to heaven.

[Safari Suit]

Frankly that talkbacker comment seems more sincere, more insightful, less hubristic and perhaps even better written than the actual article. Which is kind of the point for me; perhaps in a world without the internet this article might have been an oasis in the desert for Stallone fans, but in this one it's more like a smarmy, urine-drop in the ocean. I know it's a prestidigious paper, and that The Bourne Ultimatum sought to teach international audiences about how awesome it is, but I find much of the journalism coming from The Gaurdian to be sub-standard, particularly when they deal with popular culture. So, nah my heart's not particularly warmed.

[Tarl_Cabot]

AICN has Vern, a Seagaloogist. We have Dr. Loomis, the Stallonelogist! Sometimes I think he's just playing us all for fools to believe an eduacated redcoat actually likes Sylvester Stallone?

[Judo chop]

We have Dr. Loomis, the Stallonelogist!

Don't forget he also has his doctorate in Slycology.

[dodge]

Here's something to warm the hearts of us Stallone fans:

http://www.guardian....vester-stallone

Sylvester Stallone to quip while he's ahead in The Expendables

Sly has done better than most in the recent senescent action star revival. The Expendables, featuring almost every ageing -kicker going, will be his magnum opus

Allow me to state the obvious: Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables looks terrible. Of course it does. It has a cast list packed with just about all of the biggest names that the straight-to-DVD movie industry has to offer. It has a trailer - released last week - that makes it looks like a bad photocopy of the sort of goonishly brawny no-budget action films that Channel Five used to show at 2am. It's been written and directed by Stallone, of Stallone High Protein Pudding fame. It looks terrible. And I'll be first in line to see it next year.

Why? Well that's all to do with Stallone's last couple of films. Although Stallone hasn't been the only washed-up action star of recent years who's attempted to resuscitate his career by revisiting old pastures, he has been the only one not to fill his comeback with giant ants, nuclear-proof fridges and fight scenes that culminate on the wing of exploding jet fighters. Instead, Stallone decided to look back to his years in the doldrums for inspiration, and the results have been quietly impressive.

Rocky Balboa turned out to be a graceful, elegant and surprisingly melancholy rumination about a past-his-prime former celebrity fenced in by his own past. It wasn't Rocky's story we were watching, it was Stallone's. And Rambo IV was ... OK, technically Rambo IV was about a monosyllabic beefcake who shoots arrows through foreigners' heads for a living, but scoop away all the gore and you'll find a story that aches with a similar sense of longing.

And now we've got The Expendables to look forward to. And, if anything, it seems as though Stallone's sadness has turned to defiance. The film stars a phalanx of actors central to some of the worst cinema in living memory, like Jason Statham (Death Race), Jet Li (Cradle 2 the Grave), Dolph Lundgren (Fat Slags), Steve Austin (The Condemned) and Brittany Murphy (Just Married). Mickey Rourke and Arnold Schwarzenegger even hop on for the ride, maybe as a reminder to all their lesser counterparts that everyone eventually gets a second chance to either win an Oscar nomination, or run an entire US state into financial disrepair.

Stallone's message with The Expendables couldn't be clearer – he's not alone in feeling let down by the movie industry's obsession with fads, and if Hollywood thinks that it can wash its hands of its sub-rate action stars without a second thought, it has another thing coming. These actors have still got the goods, and they're just itching to be given another shot at the big time.

So it might be shaping up to be a retrograde, testosterone-heavy bonehead marathon comprised of nothing but constant explosions, tired old wisecracks and - if the trailer is anything to go by - a sexy waterboarding sequence. But when The Expendables is released next year, you can bet your life that I'll be right there to pay tribute to these fallen heroes of celluloid, these never-say-die soldiers of a forgotten age who proudly refuse to go gentle into that good night.

Although I'll probably wait for it to come out on DVD first. It seems like the right thing to do, doesn't it?

Thanks for the post, Loomis. But anyone who plans to wait for this to come out on DVD first is a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

[Harmsway]

But anyone who plans to wait for this to come out on DVD first is a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

Then I suppose I'm a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

[dodge]

But anyone who plans to wait for this to come out on DVD first is a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

Then I suppose I'm a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

Well, I know you won't be there on opening day. But if I'm as right about this as I believe I am, you'll be there in the sanctum of a darkened theater, watching real magic unreel.

[Loomis]

But anyone who plans to wait for this to come out on DVD first is a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

Then I suppose I'm a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

I'm surprised. I thought you were gagging for a bit of EXPENDABLES. Why not see it on opening weekend in the company of a testosterone-crazed audience?

[JimmyBond]

But anyone who plans to wait for this to come out on DVD first is a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

Then I suppose I'm a Damned Venerealized Dullard.

I'm surprised. I thought you were gagging for a bit of EXPENDABLES. Why not see it on opening weekend in the company of a testosterone-crazed audience?

I will be part of that tesetosterone-crazed audience you speak of Loomis I can't wait to see this actioner.

[Harmsway]

I thought you were gagging for a bit of EXPENDABLES.

I was... but then I saw the trailer.

[Loomis]

I can understand your not being knocked sideways by the trailer, especially as you're not a big Stallone guy, but I can't understand your feeling that the trailer is so poor as to suggest that a big screen viewing would not be worthwhile.

I myself am looking forward to THE EXPENDABLES more than most, but I wasn't totally blown away by the trailer either (although let's remember that it's not a proper trailer, or even a proper teaser, but a promotional short within the film industry). Having said that, I thought that The Good Bits™ looked more than exciting enough. At worst I'd say that this promo makes EXPENDABLES seem pretty decent.

Not that I believe you, anyway. I'm certain you'll see it at the cinema. Maybe not opening weekend, but you'll still go. And you know it's going to be a lot better than INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, QUANTUM OF SOLACE and TERMINATOR SALVATION.

[Tybre]

I'm with Harms on this. Not really my cup of tea to begin with, but trailer has done nothing to make me want to go out and see it in the theatre. Looks like just another beyond generic piece of Action Pørn™. I'll Netflix it in about seven or eight months when it's out on DVD.

[Harmsway]

I can understand your not being knocked sideways by the trailer, especially as you're not a big Stallone guy, but I can't understand your feeling that the trailer is so poor as to suggest that a big screen viewing would not be worthwhile.

It's not that it's so poor, it just doesn't do anything to grab me.

At worst I'd say that this promo makes EXPENDABLES seem pretty decent.

Sure.

Not that I believe you, anyway. I'm certain you'll see it at the cinema.

Maybe I will. But I have to say, your remark, along with the Dodge-ster's, has perhaps hardened my will not to see it. I'd hate to be so predictable.

[Loomis]

I can understand your not being knocked sideways by the trailer, especially as you're not a big Stallone guy, but I can't understand your feeling that the trailer is so poor as to suggest that a big screen viewing would not be worthwhile.

It's not that it's so poor, it just doesn't do anything to grab me.

But what were you expecting? I doubt that you thought it would be a bittersweet and introspective film like ROCKY BALBOA (Stallone, Statham, Li, Rourke and Lundgren downing beers in a shabby tavern while reminiscing wistfully about the great military coups of yesteryear), or a brutal, humourless bloodbath like RAMBO (that THE EXPENDABLES isn't supposed to be another RAMBO is one reason why I don't mind if it gets a PG-13).

I myself expected, in the words of the Guardian writer, "a retrograde, testosterone-heavy bonehead marathon comprised of nothing but constant explosions, (and) tired old wisecracks", which is pretty much what the "trailer" delivered, albeit that some (although by no means all) of the cinematography looked far more stylish than I'd bargained for and the action mostly looked refreshingly old school, done-for-real and exciting a la MAD MAX 2 or RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

It's the same as the WATCHMEN trailers - you knew what you were going to get and you got it, and if you liked that sort of thing you liked it a lot.

Maybe I will. But I have to say, your remark, along with the Dodge-ster's, has perhaps hardened my will not to see it. I'd hate to be so predictable.

Yes, you say this now, but you know as well as I do that you'll be there at your local fleapit, and, on second thoughts, yes, you probably will be there on opening weekend.

[Harmsway]

But what were you expecting?

Watching the trailer, I just wasn't having that much fun. I haven't analyzed it much. Most of the humor in that trailer fell flat for me, and maybe that's what has me less than enthusiastic. I was hoping for some real chuckles.

Yes, you say this now, but you know as well as I do that you'll be there at your local fleapit, and, on second thoughts, yes, you probably will be there on opening weekend.

Time will tell.

[dinovelvet]

http://ethelmae.wordpress.com/

[dodge]

http://ethelmae.wordpress.com/

Great read. Ethelmae goes off on a bit of a rant there. But hey. The scene between Sly, Arn and Bruce sounds like an absolute corker. Let the testerone fly off the charts.

[Jackanaples]

Wow. That trailer looks phenomenal. This is the first Stallone movie I've been excited about seeing in something like twenty years.

Did you not think much of ROCKY BALBOA and RAMBO?

I'm not sure that THE EXPENDABLES will be as good as those two (although for all I know it may be), and some of the "hilarious" dialogue falls flat. Also, there's a serious question mark over the quality of the story.

What's more, this isn't cut together very well as a trailer* - seems pretty haphazard and, while this may seem a bizarre criticism from someone who's looking forward to the film, a trifle overlong.

All of which nitpicking aside, there are some wonderful visuals in this trailer, much of the action looks terrific (making up for a cringe-inducing CGI fireball), and Stallone's in incredible shape. At the very least, this seems like one helluva movie, and who could ask for anything more?

*Not that it is a trailer, of course - it's actually a short promo piece for film festivals.

No, I haven't seen either ROCKY BALBOA or RAMBO yet. Probably will eventually, but I'm not particularly interested in either character at this point so it isn't pressing.

THE EXPENDABLES looks like it will be great fun, and the clip really surpassed my expectations in that regard. It looks like the movie equivalent of a "Men's Adventure Novel." Having said that, there are three similar movies coming out next year and I plan on seeing all of them: THE LOSERS, THE A-TEAM and THE EXPENDABLES.

[dinovelvet]

THE EXPENDABLES looks like it will be great fun, and the clip really surpassed my expectations in that regard. It looks like the movie equivalent of a "Men's Adventure Novel." Having said that, there are three similar movies coming out next year and I plan on seeing all of them: THE LOSERS, THE A-TEAM and THE EXPENDABLES.

I had to look up The Losers, and ehhh, doesn't really look like anything to get excited about, to me. Jason Patric, Uhura, and a Watchman as the highlights of the cast? The title kind of says it all, really
It's not exactly up there with Stallone, Statham, Rourke, Li, Lundgren, Ahnuld, Bruce, Eric Roberts etc, or even the A-Team's foursome.

[dodge]

THE EXPENDABLES looks like it will be great fun, and the clip really surpassed my expectations in that regard. It looks like the movie equivalent of a "Men's Adventure Novel." Having said that, there are three similar movies coming out next year and I plan on seeing all of them: THE LOSERS, THE A-TEAM and THE EXPENDABLES.

I had to look up The Losers, and ehhh, doesn't really look like anything to get excited about, to me. Jason Patric, Uhura, and a Watchman as the highlights of the cast? The title kind of says it all, really
It's not exactly up there with Stallone, Statham, Rourke, Li, Lundgren, Ahnuld, Bruce, Eric Roberts etc, or even the A-Team's foursome.

Agreed. Even their snagging the April release date smacks of desperation. What a bunch of losers.

[Jackanaples]

THE LOSERS is based on a comic published by Vertigo from a few years back. A number of fans of the book --myself included-- considered it "The A-Team done right."

As for the cast, I think it's a case of casting well as opposed to getting big names. I really like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He stole every scene he was in in WATCHMEN (to be fair, the Comedian is the most compelling character) and is the kind of leading man I want more of in American movies. Idris Elba is an amazing actor, full stop. The others I'm less familiar with, but at a guess I'd say Jason Patric will make a great villain.

Forgot to add: The script to THE LOSERS seems to follow the first story of the comic pretty closely. This is good as the comic contains a number of smart twists of plot and action by the protagonists that really grabbed a reader's attention. THE LOSERS was an action movie comic that played out better than most action movies.

I wish Peter Berg were still directing it though. I'm not familiar with Sylvain White but that's not a dig on the man. I hope he does great work with this.

That said, I'm sure THE EXPENDABLES will be the biggest of the three. In fact, I'll be horribly disappointed if it isn't.

Edited by Jackanaples, 30 October 2009 - 10:38 AM.

[Safari Suit]

I imagine The A-Team will be the biggest grosser, especially if The Expendables turns out to be r-rated, but The Expendables will almost certainly be the best of the lot.