2152 replies to this topic

[Bryce (003)]

004 NEVER EVER would possibly DREAM of breaking ANY traffic laws.....

...and he never drinks and drives.

Much like myself, he does his drinking first, gets it out of the way, THEN goes driving.

No really....

Say hi to Tasha for me G ...in between lessons of course...

*looks for memo on desk*

Nothing here....I'll let you know.

[Xenobia]

Originally posted by Bryce (003)
She has taken to the title of Moneypenny here at CBn.

Poor girl never has any time though. Xenobia has been working her to death;)

Well, maybe I wouldn't be working her to death if I wasn't left hanging around the office so much.

*ahem*

:Xenobia goes back to writing memo to 006 about entering his office through the windows if possible.:

Things are too quiet when James isn't here. I hope he ducks out on that duchess he's with real soon.

-- Xenobia

[Bryce (003)]

Originally posted by Xenobia

:Xenobia goes back to writing memo to 006 about entering his office through the windows if possible.:

Oh no you don't!

Understand, my dear, that long before you walked the hallowed halls of "our" MI6 - 004 & I were B****-Slapping 006 all over the globe.....

He likes it....

No....Really...We're sure....

*Bryce continues rigging whoopee cushion with a sliver of C-4*

[Genrewriter]

*Genrewriter strolls into the office, nodding good morning to Moneypenny.

Passes Bryce's office and notices him with the C-4.*

"That party should be a real gas."

*Walks back to office, smiling. Ducks under desk as loud bang is heard.*

"Hmm, guess he found the memo."

*Heads outside only to find techie holding the meo, his face covered in shaving cream.*

"Ah, that's where the memo went. File it in the outbox, would you?"

*Goes back into office and gets started on morning crossword puzzle.*

[Bryce (003)]

The old "shaving cream bomb in the memo" trick.

Nice G...004's going to love that.

006 might not, but 004...Oh yeah.

[Genrewriter]

Thanks, Tasha says hi.

[Bryce (003)]

In between "lessons" of course....

So...

I trust learning Greek has been an interesting "tounge" to master...

*recalling Tasha's....attributes*

Very interesting I'm sure...

[Genrewriter]

Yes, although she does admire my...right, PG-13 site. Never mind.

*Finishes crossword puzzle as techie comes in*

"You still have some shaving cream on your face."

*Techie wipes it off, only to find his hand is stuck to his forehead. Genrewriter laughs heartily as techie exits.*

[Bryce (003)]

With super-glue in the cream!

That's inspired!

Hey 004, G's one of "our" people - I was pretty sure we saw eye-to-spy before, but now there's no doubt.

*Bryce orders phone book size copy of "A Thousand & One Crosswords" from Amazon for G*

[Xenobia]

Originally posted by Bryce (003)


Oh no you don't!

Understand, my dear, that long before you walked the hallowed halls of "our" MI6 - 004 & I were B****-Slapping 006 all over the globe.....

He likes it....

No....Really...We're sure....

*Bryce continues rigging whoopee cushion with a sliver of C-4*

Ah-uh. Yeah, everybody loves being picked on, almost as much as they love eating lunch by themselves in the cafeteria.

:checks out the C-4: Why do I bother! Boys and their toys...

-- Xen

[Bryce (003)]

006 hasn't eaten in the cafeteria since '92 - ever since 004 tested the prototype of "Nuke-O-Lax 17" in 006's meatloaf - which I notice they don't serve anymore.

I must point out that 006 is still a damn good man in the field and he still has saved both 004 & I on several assignments.

He is brilliant with a throwing knife - still beats me at 25 paces.

[Genrewriter]

Ah yes, the old laxative in the meatloaf routine.

*Makes note to order a case of Nuke-O-Lax 17.*

[Xenobia]

:Xenobia makes note to never eat what G cooks:

So tell me William Tell, if 006 is better than you with knives at 25 paces, how are you both at that distance with a good old fashioned bow and arrow.

-- Xenobia

[Bryce (003)]

With a 35 pound compound bow - I did 5 inch groupings at 100 yards to warm up.

With a crossbow (set for about 150 and steel bolts) 250 - REALLY.

Although a miss "O'Keefe" used to shoot crossbows from horseback for competition - I'm NOT kidding.

Lady Croft eat your heart out (No offence to your lady there Zencat;))

[Genrewriter]

Don't worry, Xen. I tend to reserve my pranks for random techies. Hey, supervisors like to have fun too. Care for a sandwich from the commissary?

*Glances up as techie enters with gun in hand not stuck to head. Genrewriter smiles and presses button under desk, releasing trap door that sends techie into pool of pirahnas.*

"Relax, they're rubber ones. You think I'd really do something like that to a guy?"

*Closes trap door and calls maintenance, sends them to basement with crowbar and glue remover.*

[Matt O'S oo4]

MEANWHILE, OUT ON THE ROAD

Originally posted by Athena007


--Athena is impressed by the way 004 handles the vehicle.--
"You have sure great control."
--She smiles--
--She pauses and then says with a bit of sarcasm--
"Does this mean you're breaking traffic laws, you know... drinking and driving?"

Driving?

My sweet, dear, lady...I'm RAF.

I don't drive fast....I just fly low.

A honest smile is returned to Athena.

Suddenly a bullet creases the drivers side of 004's Aston-Martin Lagonda.

*Damn*

004 (roll perception: 23)

Why is it always a damned black mercedes. I'll never own one of the cursed things.

"Sorry, my lady, but we have to close up shop for now."

Touching a swith on the console, Athena's seat rotates back into its normal postion, the mini-bar slides away and the burgundy Lagonda suddenly comes alive. The vehicles speed increases to over 112 KPH.
(Driving roll: 26)

"Hello, everone. This is your pilot, Captian Matthew O'Shawnassey. We would ask that you kindly extinguish all smoking material, place a tray and seats into the upright position, swallow your drinks quickly and, for gods sake, please fasten your seat belts. We will be experiencing a hell of a lot of hard rain and turbulence."

Careening down the M5, 004 attempts to maneuver his Lagonda into position.

"Got your seat belts on, Luv?"

Here we go......

004 inserts radio link up in his left ear.

Okay, John, NO BS.....

It's party time.

004 sends 003 his location via SAT NAV Systems.

Rock n Roll.

[Matt O'S oo4]

Originally posted by Bryce (003)
006 hasn't eaten in the cafeteria since '92 - ever since 004 tested the prototype of "Nuke-O-Lax 17" in 006's meatloaf - which I notice they don't serve anymore.  

Nuke-O-Lax 17?

I still have a rather healthy supply of that, if you need it.

Last time I can remember using it was in the MI5 reception punch bowl. Nothing like any liquid that is oderless and colorless.

Loads of fun....so to speak.

004

[Bryce (003)]

*Bryce's Jag SAILS out from MI6 garage (cue the music), touches down with an even skid and proceeds (pushing 85 MPH) across Westminster Bridge. Checks GPS flip out screen for 004's position. Activates phone-link*

Matt....I'm about 4 from you. Make for Picadilly!

*Jag spins into a hard turn on Oxford St. barely missing a Fed-Ex truck*

[Matt O'S oo4]

Right. Changing course....

When are these idiots going to learn that my car can handle standard hand gun and rifle fire.

ROLL SURPRISE (2)

Suddenly, a delivery van in the left land explodes. 004 check his mirrors again....

That moron is holding an small RPG launcher out the passenger door window. DAMN.

SMOKE SCREEN, and OIL on the way.

004 takes the next off ramp.

Hope this works.

Driving hard....101 KPH. Damn potholes.

[Bryce (003)]

*Bryce swears at a nun in crosswalk*

C'mon!

Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, Watch, Keys! Get a move on!

*Makes for Picadilly smoking tires*

OK Matt, break right and make for Regents St., I'll flank the bastard.

[Genrewriter]

*Genrewriter makes note to adjust 004's car so it can withstand any and all types of firearms and explosives, assuming the one he's in is in one piece.*

[Bryce (003)]

Coming up!

*Jag flies past Ritz*

[Matt O'S oo4]

Oh, goodie. The Oreo Cookie Manueuver?

I haven't done that since Camp Happy.

004 breaks right, narrowly mission a Mini (looked like the chap was wearing the thing) Driving roll: oooo 72, close.

Looking back.

Aaaahhh.

That black beast is still on my tail. Tricky blighter.

Time for phase two.

Checking the SAT NAV on the heads - up display and noting 003's postion.

Glancing at Athena, warmly. "Lovely day, isn't? Love the outdoors."

004 floors the Lagonda. 155 KPH and accelerating.

Glad they filled the tank.

Ahhh, there you are...

[Bryce (003)]

*Jag swings in behind Mercedes*

Good Evening.....Well Mid-day....

*Bryce activates contol panel*

Female automated voice: Weapons system activated.

*Front high beam lights of Jag fold back to reveal twin rockets*

Female automated voice: Target Acquired.

Here's looking up your kilt.

*Bryce fires rockets*

BREAK OFF MATT!

[Matt O'S oo4]

Hey, thanks for the warning!! Buy me a pint!!

Take a deep breath, my lady....

004 drops a couple of taillight mines just for good measure while touching a hidden sensor on the shifer, the Lagonda suddenly moves out like an animal possessed.

180 KPH.......200......220.......

Good things the road is clear...well...mostly...

See you...

(Evasive manuever roll: 04 Oh, yeah!)

One monster of an expolsion erupts and I begin to realize that we'll have to notify MI5....this should be fun.

Probably in the mood for more that just tea? Ah, well. Actually its good to get out and strech your legs every once in a while.

YAWN.....strech....

With a small whirr, the taillight len's on 004 Lagonda slip back into place.

Handy items, those.

Thanks, John.

[Bryce (003)]

02....Yeah.....

*Bryce slams brakes as rockets impact against rear of Mercedes. Within the same second, tail-light mines blow the front. An enormous plume of smoke and fire stops all activity on Regent street. Mercedes crashes to the ground in a slo-mo heap*

*Bryce properly signals and then slowly drives around wreck and stunned observers*

Some people on the roads really burn you up these days.

*Activates phone-link*

Not to crash your date Matt, but I'm stopping by the Tea Room for a pint and a shot. Then I'll leave.

Mr. Asterix is going to be pissed.

[Matt O'S oo4]

Mr Asterix can get as pissed as he wants....he wasn't out here on a casual drive though town, trying to be a gentlemen to a beautiful lady and then taking a healthy barrage of weapons fire.

I don't care how he feels. I want to know who these jokers were. My llife is expendable...it's part of the job....not Athena's...

Damned mess.

Can't do anything without wearing a bullet proof shelter.

004

[Athena007]

--Athena has been on the edge of her seat the whole time... eyes on the road and the cars around then, glancing at 004--
"Gawd, I never knew how much this kind of thing turns me on!"
--a BIG smile spreads across her face--

[Genrewriter]

*Genrewriter looks up from his "checkup" with Dr. Warmflash as a call comes in.*

"Yes? Right away, M."

004, did you get a license plate number by any chance? I'll be putting the radar tracking system on in five.

[Matt O'S oo4]

A few numbers apears on my rear camera recorders....transmitting now...

Spent a lot of time trying to stay away from those bangy-bang things.

Not the best time for photography.

Have at...

004