1531 replies to this topic

[terminus]

*wanders through*

Shatterhand? Anyone? No?

[coco1997]

I'll throw out one more suggestion, which would be a chapter title I've long been a proponent of actually being a film title: A Whisper of Hate. I think that this title could tie into this project particularly well, in that this is the set-up for the endgame for the Quantum storyline, and that things do get pretty ominous as we head towards the conclusion, thus a "whisper" of "hate" ("hate" implying just the dark times to come in the next story). I think that at the end of the story for this project, we've got a villain who has survived and has a very strong hatred of Bond when it's all said and done (I think I need to make one slight tweak to make this more clear within the story, but it is a very minor tweak that needs to be made and really involves little to no re-writing whatsoever), and that could play into the title as well. But I think that with this story setting up the endgame, that could be considered the "whisper" of things to come, hence why I think the title might work here.

It's a good title, but not for this one. As I said before, we need to stay away from titles containing the phrase "of" or "of a/the". It's making the stories sound more like Harry Potter than James Bond.

I'm still campaigning for FIRESPHERE.

I don't think that taking a title directly from Fleming is making the titles sound like a Harry Potter film.

[EDIT]

That's not what I meant. I meant that if we went with "A WHISPER OF HATE", we'd have four consecutive titles using 'of' or 'of a/the' (TALK OF THE DEVIL, THE PROPERTY OF A LADY, CHOICE OF WEAPONS, A WHISPER OF HATE').

It just feels monotontous, that's all.

[tdalton]

*wanders through*

Shatterhand? Anyone? No?

I think I may have been a bit rude or over-the-top in my opposition to the proposed title (and have edited my post accordingly), and for that I apologize I'll get behind FIRESPHERE if that's what is decided to be the title. It's not my first choice, but I'll support it if chosen.

I'm going to bow out of the debate on the title, though, and just start concentrating on the next project.

Edited by tdalton, 21 October 2010 - 06:31 PM.

[coco1997]

*wanders through*

Shatterhand? Anyone? No?

I think I may have been a bit rude or over-the-top in my opposition to the proposed title, and for that I apologize I'll get behind FIRESPHERE if that's what is decided to be the title. It's not my first choice, but I'll support it if chosen.

I'm going to bow out of the debate on the title, though, and just start concentrating on the next project.

No need to apologize, t. Trust me, I do think "AWOH" is a fantastic title and should be used down the road...just not at this point. I used the Harry Potter analogy to illustrate how it works for that series (THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, THE GOBLET OF FIRE, ORDER OF THE PHOENIX) but wouldn't feel right for Bond if that theme was overused.

I still think it would be cool to use an original one-word title that sounds Fleming. 'FIRESPHERE' is still my choice, but if someone wows me with another slick-sounding one-word title, I'm open to latching onto that.

[terminus]

Agreed, I'll get behind the consensus of the majority. I just don't particularly like Firesphere or Whitefire.

[coco1997]

It seems like a title may be one of the things none of us agree on, lol.

Terminus--Do you have any other one-word ideas that use either 'Fire' or 'White'?

[terminus]

I've pushed Risico and Shatterhand as Fleming titles that could be used - but don't think people seem to like them. Not sure - tbh.

[coco1997]

I've pushed Risico and Shatterhand as Fleming titles that could be used - but don't think people seem to like them. Not sure - tbh.

'Shatterhand' is a cool title but I'm not sure how it could be used to make sense in the context of the story.

[terminus]

The name of the operation - the same way that Thunderball was used, iirc. Operation: Shatterhand, perhaps - the name of the operation that Bond is dispatched on when he's sent to Oak Ridge? Risico could be used n the same fashion.

[coco1997]

Possibly. We'll see what everyone else thinks about it.

[terminus]

Indeed - ladies (we do have some lady participants, right?) and gentlemen, cast your votes and suggestions for the title - NOW.

[SamuelKevlar]

Well, if we're going with one word titles, I'd prefer Whitefire over Firesphere, though more for the White than the Fire. White is a nice allusion to Blanc and the theme of anonymity that runs through this story. Fire seems a bit cliché. As for Risico, it means Risk in Dutch, and I'd love to use it for a story that features Dutch characters and/or locations, which I hope to bring in in later UBs. Could be the name of an operation, as has already been pointed out.

[terminus]

I've been talking with coco1997 and we've agreed that the outline is, more or less, finished - with the exception that Senegal needs a bit more fleshing out. Here's a proposal:

Bond and Mercedes board a plane in the area of the country not controlled by General Ndene, the leader of the rebel Casamance faction that Quantum have been funneling funds and weapons to. The plane is shot down before it can reach the airstrip closest to the rebel leaders headquarters. Bond and Mercedes survive - but must track through a river delta with all sorts of nasties (and rebel goons) out to get them. Commandeering a jeep from rebel goons, Bond and Mercedes travel to General Ndene's headquarters - a luxurious but abandoned resort (designed by the Haus of Gaga specifically for the film).

As Bond and Mercedes infiltrate the compound and locate the control centre - so that Mercedes can reverse the transfer of funds back to the accounts, having failed to stop the transfer of funds in Chicago - the senior officials supervising the mission (M and an unnamed American) order an airstrike on the compound. As combat helicopters take on the rebel factions own aircraft, the transfer of funds is completed - and whilst trying to escape, Bond is cornered by both Marcus and Quinn. With the two ganging up on Bond in a fight that he has some trouble with, considering that they're both highly trained ex-military people. Since there's a multi-helicopter battle going on outside the resort where the finale is taking place, one of those could get hit and then fall into the resort, greatly damaging whatever building Bond, Quinn, and Marcus happen to be fighting in, allowing Bond a chance to get away. When he makes his way out of the rubble, he finds Marcus holding Mercedes at gunpoint while he and Quinn are trying to get on the remaining chopper to make their getaway. The three speak for a few moments before Bond fires a shot, hitting Marcus in the shoulder, giving Mercedes the opportunity to escape while a stunned Marcus falls back into the helicopter and Quinn gives the pilot orders to take off.

All that remains is for Bond and Mercedes to escape the rapidly collapsing resort. But just as they are about to climb into the helicopter that has been sent to pick them up, General Ndene emerges from the wreckage of hotel with a missile launcher and aims it at our heroes - but Bond spins round, barely flinching and shoots the General between the eyes. "Why can't you be a good fellow and die?" Bond quips.

With the funds reversed, the resort destroyed and General Ndene dead - the villains have been defeated, although Quinn and Marcus made their escape. Bond and Mercedes sit in the back of the helicopter and Bond asks her what she'll do now - she's not sure, but she makes it clear that she isn't interested in spending any rest ane relaxation time with Bond (she's either engaged to be married or a lesbian - or both).

As the helicopter moves over the jungle, the landscape blurs together as we transit too ... (segue to the epilogue sequences with Felix/Lucia)

[coco1997]

A commendable job, terminus. You addressed the exact parts I felt were lacking in development, precisely how Bond and Mercedes get to Senegal, why the helicopters get involved in the battle and the death of the General Ndene.

I'm pretty sure that wraps up UB26, save for the title, which no one seems to agree on. Once that's settled it can be submitted to the Fan Fic archive.

Having said that, bring on Ultimate Bond 27!

[chrisno1]

I've hardly contributed to U26 (indeed none of the others either) and I entirely understand this is a composite FF, however, I read the outline twice tonight and scratched my head constantly.
Just what is happening here?
There is hardly any flow of the narrative from start to finish, it is, quite hoenestly a series of set pieces. The plot is buried.
There is a scene midway through the movie where 007, Felix and Goodnight tell the audience almost everything we couldn't be bothered to show them because the plot is so complicated! (Something to do with a load of actors, including someone called Sebastian, playing a mysterious character called Blanc - Mr White? Right?) However this method of plot explanation is too fast, an audience simply wouldn't follow it.
Lucia Rojas' role has become more than confusing. The whole ETA thing seems irrelevant.
The glider / helicopter scene including the business with the mentor Prof Banks is equally befuddling.
Most worryingly of all Felix gets information about a duplicate LEGION, but I missed the significance. Was the first one destroyed/disabled/ is is still dangerous? If there is a second one, what happens to it? Where is the spark suit to power it?
The topless bar and the mutilating of Felix (oh, how I'd love to mutilate Felix off the face of the earth) also seems curiously unneccesary.
Love the bit with the hot dog. Why can't they two tired agents just be sharing a dog and a coke and get smacked on the head or something?
Mercedes doesn't need an epilogue. If her relationship is spiky with 007 (hinted at through dialogue) there shouldn't be any doubt she WON'T go to bed with him. Once the job's done, she's fine, a word of thanks is enough. "What are you doing now?" she asks 007, "Some unfinished business," he replies.
Second epilogue is really good. But Quinn shouldn't screm, an assassin is a cold beast. She should simply cry and leave the gold & diamond band in the sand.
Epilogue three, Lucia Rojos is being watched by Bond through a sniper scope as she walks through the market square back to her apartment. She appears on the balcony of her apartment, where earlier she and Bond made love (and she first saw his bullet wound from the PTS.) There is a little black box on the table and a note that reads "I'll remember you forever." It is the engagement ring.

More thoughts later.....
Hope I'm not to late to p##s on the parade....#
Chris

Edited by chrisno1, 22 October 2010 - 10:20 PM.

[terminus]

Nope - it's appreciated. I think some of your comments do warrant further work on the outline - when you have so many people throwing so many disparate ideas out, it can sometimes be difficult to get everything working together. I think, in this instance, because some sections are so developed in comparison to others (the briefing scene, the epilogue between Quinn and Marcus etc) it makes them seem a bit unwieldly.

Maybe we can work on that.

[chrisno1]

P.S. if you want a one word title, I'd favour my own suggestion KALEIDOSCOPE. Just make it the name of the original operation to save Mercedes Baines from being killed/kidnapped.
I did do some research and there was a movie in '66 starring Warren Beatty with the title, but hey, it was 1966! and this is Fan Fiction!

Nope - it's appreciated. I think some of your comments do warrant further work on the outline - when you have so many people throwing so many disparate ideas out, it can sometimes be difficult to get everything working together. I think, in this instance, because some sections are so developed in comparison to others (the briefing scene, the epilogue between Quinn and Marcus etc) it makes them seem a bit unwieldly.

Maybe we can work on that.

Let me sleep on it and I'll see what I can figure. I don't want to interfere just for the sake... that seems a bit churlish, but if I can join the dots it might be useful.

Edited by chrisno1, 22 October 2010 - 10:16 PM.

[terminus]

Indeed - any and all help/suggestions will be most welcome.

[chrisno1]

OK so I appreciate you guys have worked really hard on this and I haven't, however, I read the last completed scenario and expressed some doubts about its overall suitability. This is my rendition. I think I've included everything suggested in previous posts etc. It may not be in the correct order. I've also shaved some detail out (esp the epilogues). This is a synopsis and some detail was too meticulous. Sorry, it's just what I'm like!

If I have any reservations:
1) The Sierra Nevada interlude still seems unnecessary. It's a blatant rip off od M.I.3 and if it wasn't for the information provided by Banks I'd bin it completely. Couldn't Mercedes be aware of the second Legion instead?
2) The business with Sebastian and the numerous Monsieur Blancs seems like a useless MacGuffin. It serves no purpose to the narrative, is a repeat of Banks' interview and only slows down the action when we should be raising it. It's very John Gardner in that respect. The Mary Goodnight character doesn't fit in at all; she is an obvious explanatory device. Again it's a scene I would personaly consign to the cutting room floor.
3) What happened to the California LEGION?
4) Sorry if you don't like my choice of title. I'm being rather cheeky there, but I have provided an explanation that runs through the movie (even Marcus might get the significance!)
5) It feels excessively long, which is why I question the two interrogation scenes. It's maybe 2.5 hours. I think the Barcelona stuff is 30 mins alone.
Happy reading....





NEW YORK CITY

The gun barrel opens in New York City, in a gambling den & burlesque club located in an abandoned subway junction. James Bond has infiltrated a meeting between a group of Russian underworld thugs and Senegalese rebels. Their leader is addressed as General Ndene. The rebels are planning to purchase weapons from the thugs and have brought a case load of Senegalese diamonds. Bond is assisted by a burlesque dancer called Rusty (who is a CIA mole) but his identity is uncovered via an anonymous picture text sent simultaneously to the thugs and the rebels. The deal is temporarily halted and Bond is forced to drink a spiked cocktail. Rusty uses her burlesque act as camouflage to help Bond escape. There is a gun battle and Bond is shot. He makes it to the subway and collapses in a pool of blood.

The camera centres above, looking directly at Bond's body at 90 degrees; it begins to spin as it descends. With each revolution becoming more violent, it now resembles a rotating board from a standard circus knife-throwing act. Here this blurred impression begins to morph into Bond wandering through a nightmarish landscape of beautiful and simultaneously hideous women, flowers, giant frogs, scorpions, skulls with roses in their mouths, conch shells and skeletons playing cards--all various morbid, yet colorful imagery, of course derived from the classic Fleming first edition covers...

CB.n PRESENTS

DANIEL CRAIG
as Ian Fleming's James Bond 007

in

CBN MEMBERS'
KALEIDOSCOPE

Ashley Greene
Natalia Paris
James Woods

Melanie Laurent
Jackie Earle Hailey

Dita Von Teese
Michael Rady
Daniel Bruhl

Jeffrey Wright
Emily Blunt
Jesper Christensen

and Timothy Dalton as M
"KALIEDOSCOPE" sung by Pink
"KALIEDOSCOPE" composed by Pink and Don Davis

Soundtrack by Don Davis

Directed by Kar Wai Wong

Written by Joe Carnahan, Brian Bloom & Skip Woods with David Wolstoncroft

As the credits draw to an end, the nightmarish landscape lessens we segue to...

BARCELONA

Bond is recuperating in Barcelona after the events in New York; this is enforced leave and Bond is unable to enjoy it. His attitude changes after a chance meeting with Lucia Rojos, a beautiful salsa dancer, in a cafe. After he saves her from being pick-pocketed, she insists on returning the favour, inviting him to dinner and giving him a dancing lesson. Bond is finally saved from the tedium and boredom of a mundane life. A romance begins and we see the usual montage of local flavour shots and stolen kisses. For the first time since his encounter with Vesper, he ponders leaving the service and living a normal life. Bond visits her apartment in a village outside the city and they make love for the first time on the balcony. Lucia sees his fresh bullet wound and he tells her it is from another time. “Life is a kaleidoscope, James, you have to accept everything in it,” she tells him.

Several weeks (perhaps months) later, Bond has decided to officially tender his resignation from the service and live with Lucia. He has purchased an engagement ring and two tickets on a new rail link between Barcelona and Paris. He intends to propose in Paris on New Years Eve.

Lucia is overjoyed at the trip to Paris (but is unaware that Bond plans to propose to her) and talks about it with her brother, Cesar - a man who she believes is in a mundane profession, but is actually a member of Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (commonly known as ETA). The organisation at large is demilitarising, but Cesar’s faction has developed ties with a mysterious paramilitary organisation. Part of these ties includes shipping covert terrorist weapons through Catalonia to the Basque separatists.

Uncomfortable with his faction’s aims, Cesar has made contact with a member of the intelligence community (it would be suggested later, but not stated now, that the contact is Mary Goodnight, this can be done through a phone call where Cesar is obviously speaking to a woman) and arranged for a sample of the weapons to be delivered to Paris, including a briefcase that conceals a remote controlled gun turret. Knowing that he will undoubtedly be watched, Cesar asks his unwitting sister to take charge of the package and convey it to Paris where a friend (the intelligence associate) will pick it up. Lucia agrees, although Bond is suspicious of Cesar, who appears extremely nervous.

Boarding the train in Barcelona, Lucia and Bond believe they are starting a romantic break - unaware that Cesar has been caught. We briefly witness the end of Cesar’s torture and his execution by the ETA faction he represented. The briefcase, the ETA leader comments, must be stopped from reaching Paris or else the weapons shipment channels will be uncovered. Members of the ETA faction set about trying to recover the briefcase by using an armoured truck to derail the train in a pass in the Pyrenees. They board the train. During the ensuing chaos, Bond realises the attack was set-up to retrieve the briefcase. As Bond fights the ETA attack unarmed, killing two men, the stricken carriage’s coupling snaps and slides off the track towards the river below.

As the carriage begins to sink into the water, Bond turns his attention to the rescuing the other passengers. The ETA force seems to disperse. Bond can’t see Lucia, who is trapped in the carriage and he returns to rescue her. When emergency vehicles arrive, divers enter the carriage, but only recover the suitcase device. They surface next to a dinghy and hand the suitcase over to the people in it. We clearly see that the handsome olive skinned man in the dinghy is wearing a man's silver ‘Q’ ear-stud. He speaks on a mobile, re: the briefcase "Yes, sir, the weapon has been recovered - we're in the clear ..."

Due to the events on the train, Bond realises that he can never leave his job behind - and can never live a normal life. So that he doesn't harm Lucia, he must walk out of her life. While she lies being tended to by the emergency service, he dials the number for Universal Exports on his mobile phone.

MI6

Bond enters MI6 H.Q. and demands to be returned to active service; this unending enforced sabbatical must end. M eventually agrees for Bond to be assessed by James Molony, the service's medical officer.

Cleared for field duty, Bond is given a simple mission - to prevent the abduction of Mercedes Baines, a computer programmer of extreme interest, who has been threatened in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.

INTERCUT WITH MI6

Mr. White is seen standing in front of a picture window speaking on a phone - outside the window appears to be a lush tropical landscape. In the discussion, he explains that 'Our endeavors in the Catalonia have proven to be an embarrassment, E.T.A simply isn’t reliable and our finances have been damaged - we need to recoup our losses.'

A subsequent call suggests to someone that 'the services of Monsieur Blanc might be needed ...' As the phone is hung up, the lush tropical landscape changes to a frozen tundra - it becomes clear that we have no idea where we are, that the 'picture window' is a floor to ceiling digital picture frame.

OAK RIDGE

Bond arrives in Oak Ridge at the ORNL where he seeks out Mercedes Baines, a beautiful computer programmer who is working on LEGION, a next level computer system, more advanced than the ORNL's own Jaguar. Mercedes is wearing the 'Spark Suit', a bioelectric garment needed to power the supercomputers developed at Oak Ridge. Bond is impressed with Mercedes knowledge and, despite their frosty encounter, he convinces her to accompany him to a safe house. As they leave, the sprinklers go off and the power is cut; chaos erupts as people flee labs and attempt escape. Bond realizes this is a trap and tries to seek out the threat - which turns out to be a beautiful woman (whom we will come to know as Quinn).

There is a cat and mouse chase through the white walled corridors and tree lined avenues of the campus. Bond uses an electrical burst from the spark suit that Mercedes is wearing to delay “Quinn’s” pursuit. Just as Bond thinks they have escaped in his Lotus Elite, “Quinn” unfolds the covert briefcase, which reveals a high powered long range rifle mounted on a tripod. She shoots the tyres on the Lotus and, out of control, the car crashes. The airbags save both Bond and Mercedes. Campus ambulance teams are quickly on hand, and Bond is separated from Mercedes, who is abducted by “Quinn’s” team.

Bond has a difficult conversation with M via Skype where his suitability for active duty is questioned again. Bond gives a description of “Quinn.” A face recognition scan identifies her, but MI6 has no official details. She is however of interest to the CIA. Bond asks if Felix Leiter is still working for the CIA. “Funny you should ask that, he wants to talk to you – something about LEGION.”

SIERRA NEVADA

Bond and Felix Leiter are in an electro-glider traversing the Sierra Nevada. Leiter has information on Quinn, a French national who, after her rebellious teenage years was sent to a military school to straighten out. After graduation, she enlisted in the armed forces and was deployed to Afghanistan as a part of the US-led operation within that country. She was part of a convoy that was attacked while on a routine mission, was the only one to survive and was taken captive, or never found, and presumed dead by her superiors.

The electro-glider lands at a remote luxury bungalow, positioned on a prominent hillside. As they land Felix mentions it looks like rain. They are here to meet Professor Banks, Mercedes' mentor, who is being held under house arrest. It was Banks who first helped Mercedes work on a method to hack the world's online banking system using LEGION. However, Banks sold this information to Quantum. His contact was man called Monsieur Blanc. Bond and Felix believe the man to be Damien Blanc, the world's foremost cyber-criminal who is on every "Most Wanted" list around the globe.

When Banks heard about the death threats to Mercedes he came to the CIA for protection. Bond got to Mercedes before the CIA. Worse, Banks knows Quantum has constructed a second LEGION computer somewhere in Chicago, but they need Mercedes’ expertise to power it.

During the interview it has started to hammer with rain, a precursor to an electrical storm. This should make a very atmospheric cloying scene as we learn some of Quantum’s plot. Because of the noise from rain, no one hears the approach of a helicopter. Suddenly the house is bombarded with gunfire. Banks is shot. Bond recognises the strange shaped gun the assassin is using. It is Quinn with that damned suitcase! Bond and Felix give chase in the electro-glider, flying over a power station and into a field of electricity pylons. The glider crashes, but Bond and Felix are alive.

CHICAGO

After landing at O’Hare Airport, Bond says he hasn’t eaten since Oak Ridge. It is a snowy winter’s night. Leiter takes Bond to “the best hot dog stand in the world.” Bond isn’t so sure and tosses it in a trashcan whilst Leiter stuffs his down. The vendor isn’t the best because of the quality of food; his stand is positioned outside the Hot Dog strip bar. The two agents go into the bar to take the stress off their minds. At the bar, Felix solicits one of the women and goes into a corner booth, the lights dimming. Another dancer comes out to distract Bond, asking for a drink and a good time. Unseen by Bond, Felix’s dancer activates a lever and his seat disappears into the wall. Bond’s has bought an erotic dance from his girl; the music is a rendition of the movies theme tune.

Dance finished, Bond finds Felix’s empty booth. An electronic device showing a binary-coded message replaces him, slowly decrypting to reveal Felix's location. Bond immediately jumps into action, calling up the CIA, MI6 and Chicago authorities. Stunned, the CIA man (Wolkovsky) asks what Bond was doing in Hot Dog. Didn’t they know who owns it? There is a homing transmitter sewn into Leiter's coat which pinpoints his location before the decrypting message.

INTERCUT BONDS LAPDANCE &THE EARLY SEARCH SCENES WITH...

Felix being dragged away a group of nasty thugs and beaten to pulp. He’s blindfolded, bundled into a van and taken to the shores of Lake Michigan. Quinn rips off Leiter's pants; after telling him he should have known that "Monsieur Blanc owns all the brothels around the Great Lakes”, she tells her goons to drag him to the lake...and wait.

Bond is frantically driving to the lake side location. Bond finds Leiter’s coat wrapped around a log caught on a sandbar. The final portion of the message decrypts, revealing Leiter to be several hundred feet to the north of where Bond is. Bond runs to Felix, but it's too late; Leiter's legs are completely frostbitten under the ice, and his body core temperature is dangerously low. As the Illinois state police rush to the scene, Bond finds a note stuffed into Felix's shirt: HE COULD HAVE USED SEA LEGS.

TRUMP TOWER, CHICAGO

Marcus oversees the construction and operation of a duplicate of LEGION. Mercedes is working under extreme duress. We also learn that Quinn and Marcus are having a physical relationship.

The emblem on the electronic device is for the Trump Tower. Bond, with permission from MI6 and the CIA visits the tower as part of a survey
team monitoring the Tower’s green energy potential (a possible reason to include a cameo by Donald Trump). Bond notices there is massive power use on the sixtieth floor. Visiting it, he is very suspicious of Marcus, who wears a ‘Q’ ear stud.

That night, Bond and a team of Navy SEALS infiltrate the sixtieth floor and discover the duplicate LEGION. In the ensuing fire fight, Mercedes is rescued and the computer destroyed, but Marcus and Quinn escape. One man is rescued. He claims to be one 'Damien Blanc.'

Blanc is taken into custody. Interrogated by Bond, a CIA agent (David Wolkovsky) and Mercedes, it becomes apparent the man is not Damien Blanc. He is unfamiliar with the specifics of any scheme a mastermind might have set into motion, details which the real Damien Blanc would know, assuming he is behind it all.

There is a visitor for Bond. It is Mary Goodnight, agent 008, sent by M to Chicago. She has been investigating a cyber-attack that had severely damaged certain pillars of the European economy. She had narrowed the investigation down to Switzerland, where the evidence pointed to a man named Damien Blanc. In Zurich she was able to detain a man she believed to be Blanc. It turned out that he wasn't, for very same reason the man Bond has in custody turned out not to be him. After making inquiries with other European intelligence agencies, she discovered three more ‘Damien Blancs’ in custody. Within days of these confirmations, however, the prisoners once thought to be Damien Blanc turned up dead.

Returning to the interrogation, Bond threatens ‘Blanc’ for mutilating Leiter. Under pressure, ‘Blanc’ admits he’s only an actor, called Sebastian Dragonpol, hired at great expense to play at being Damien Blanc. But what he does know is enough to help Bond and Mercedes to piece together what Quinn and Marcus were doing. Sebastian knows that Marcus and Quinn had regular contact with a group of Senegalese rebels; he even met a man called General Ndene. Sebastian had to convince him he was the head of an organisation called Quantum as that was the only way the General would accept Marcus as genuine. Mercedes realises the duplicate LEGION was used to siphon money from the world's bank accounts in order to fund rebel the rebels.

As Bond, Wolkovsky, Mercedes and Goodnight are wrapping up the interrogation the power in the building goes out, leaving them in the pitch-black. Bond knows what is about to happen, having already experienced it in the Oak Ridge facility. Wolkovsky helps them navigate through some secret tunnels out of the building out onto the city streets. He gets them into a car and begins driving. As they're getting away, the back window of the car shatters and Sebastian slumps forward dead.

CUT TO AN EXTERIOR SHOT OF THE ROOF OF A HIGH-RISE BUILDING...

Quinn stares through the scope of the sniper's rifle, confirming that she had eliminated the target. She takes the weapon apart and puts it back into its case, which she had had designed to look much like a regular suitcase. She exits the building, phoning Marcus while walking to inform him that another Damien Blanc had outlived his usefulness.

DAKAR, SENEGAL

The foursome travel to Senegal. Mercedes reluctantly has to come as she is the only one with the skills to return the money to the original accounts. They are in helicopter gunships, tracking down the head quarters of General Ndene on up a river delta, accompanied by a troop of Senegalese soldiers. They arrive at a luxurious, but abandoned resort, designed by the Haus of Gaga specifically for this film. This is the power base for the Casamance rebels. Marcus, Quinn and Ndene are toasting their success; Mister White is present via Skype.

A battle between the helicopter gunships and the rebels ensues, during which Bond and Mercedes disembark and make it to the interior. They are cornered by Marcus and Quinn. During the helicopter battle outside, one of the gunships is hit and falls into the resort, damaging the building. This gives Bond the opportunity to fight Quinn and Marcus. Mercedes now the opportunity use her know-how of the LEGION programme to transfer the funds back into the proper accounts.

Meanwhile Bond has been thwarted. Quinn and Mercedes have him at gunpoint, speaking about how you must accept everything in life and death. “Like a kaleidoscope,” muses Bond. General Ndene, enraged by Quantum’s spectacular failure, charges in and shoots Marcus in the shoulder. Quinn kills Ndene. More chaos from outside shatters the building and Bond is buried.

Mercedes finds Bond’s half buried body and pulls him free. “It’s done,” she says, “Do you still want to destroy LEGION?” “Yes.” As we leave the scene, the resort is exploding in massive fireball after massive fireball.

THE GRENADINES

Marcus emerges from a bungalow and watches as Quinn emerges from the ocean. Marcus talks to her about how beautiful the beach and bungalow are and about how much he's enjoying himself after the hectic events of the previous few days. He suggests leaving the spy game and taking refuge in the bungalow forever, forgetting Quantum and just living together as a normal "retired" couple, enjoying life in the Caribbean.

Quinn becomes uncomfortable, which Marcus begins to pick up on, but ignores. She tells him that she can't leave the spy game, stating that there's still a lot of work to do. She flees the conversation and takes refuge inside the bungalow. Marcus reaches into his pocket and retrieves a small black box, making sure that its contents are still inside. He makes his way into the bungalow, calling out for Quinn. He hears the sound of a gun being cocked.

"I told you not to get involved with the people I work for," she says shakily. She finds herself having trouble completing the job that she knows has to be done to preserve the anonymity that she has worked so hard to protect for several years. Marcus tells her that he loves her. She pauses for a moment, for the first time seriously contemplating leaving Quantum behind and going on the run. She then tells him, "You can't run from us. We're everywhere."

CUT TO AN OUTSIDE SHOT OF THE BUNGALOW...

Gunshot.

Quinn emerges from the bungalow, which is bathed in the light of a setting sun at this point. She stands there, looking out at the waves crashing up on the beach, her eyes welling up. She drops to her knees, burying her head in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably. She drops the small black box that she had found on Marcus. It's open, and in it is a beautiful diamond ring.

CATALONIA; A VILLAGE

Bond is talking to Felix Leiter as the latter tests his new prosthetic legs. Felix is recovering well. When he asks what Bond is doing, 007 replies “Looking after unfinished business.”

We see Lucia Rojos buying some fruit in a marketplace. James Bond, standing alongside his parked Lotus Elite on a road above the village, is looking at her through a sniper scope. He watches as she returns to her apartment. She walks onto the balcony, where she and Bond first made love, and sees a little black box. There is a note which reads “Life is like a kaleidoscope.” The box contains a diamond engagement ring. Bond shuts away the sniper scope gets into the Lotus and drives away, leaving behind the pretty village, the bluest of blue skies and the sun, continuing to shine on this scene of everyday life. The screen fades slowly to black.

JAMES WILL RETURN

Edited by chrisno1, 24 October 2010 - 01:05 AM.

[coco1997]

Now this...I like.

[terminus]

Seconded. I give that wholeheartedly my seal of approval. The only change I'd make is in the Quantum scenes early on - the reference to their endeavours in China having depleted their funds was a reference to the previous three movies, so I'd like to see that reinstalled. But, other than that, it made me smile.

And you've even made me think Kaleidescope might be a good title!

[tdalton]

While I like a good portion of it, I'm not sold on some of the changes made to the epilogue sequence between Quinn and Marcus as well as the James Woods' character. The fake "Damien Blanc" isn't just an actor, he's a gangster (or ex-gangster) who takes the job because he's desperate to get back into the game. He sees this as a way to get back in, even if only at a somewhat small-time level, and has ambitions about regaining some of the glory that he used to have. The decision on my part to not give any of the villains last names was a deliberate one, as one of the major themes running through the story is anonymity. Giving the characters last names within the context of this story takes away from the nebulous nature with which these people move throughout the world in which they operate. These are people who go to great lengths to secure their anonymity, and have long abandoned their real names.

Also, in the epilogue sequence between Quinn and Marcus was set-up the way it was deliberately as well. I didn't want to operate within the stereotypes of the "cold-blooded killer" for the Quinn character, but was rather trying to make the character (and Marcus as well) into real, flesh-and-blood human beings who don't just walk around with blank stares on their faces and show no emotion. Firstly, based on the background I created for Quinn, she's somewhat impaired mentally due to the drugs she was forced to take while in captivity in Afghanistan. While, of course, she's able to operate fairly well as an assassin, she's still rather unpredictable in terms of her behavior and her emotions, which is something that is shown in the epilogue that I put forth. I also think that adding a gunshot into the epilogue takes away from it a bit as well, sealing the fate of Marcus in the minds of the audience before Quinn even leaves the bungalow. Leaving the bungalow and opting for a shot of the outside after Quinn's final lines to Marcus leave open the possibility of her sparing his life, if just for a moment, and adds some weight to the "performance" that would take place afterwards on the beach. I also think that the scream that was in there initially was misconstrued in terms of its meaning, but I think that it's something that should stay in the scene (it helps to solidify her as actually having emotions and also plays into that as well as the fact that she is, to some degree, mentally unstable and unable at times to control her emotions). It's not necessarily something that's in there because she's upset with what she's done. It's there because, in part, she sees herself as being put in the situation of having to eliminate Marcus by the actions of Bond and Leiter, who if they hadn't captured the fake Damien Blanc, then she could have let Marcus live. But, since he was captured and gave the two of them up, for security reasons, she had to follow through with it. It's that sentiment that will take the character forward into the next project, and with a raging hatred for Bond because she places the blame for Marcus' demise squarely on his shoulders (although that's clearly a misguided way of looking at it), and it will drive her to set the trap for him, Goodnight, and the other Double-oh towards the middle of the film.

I like quite a bit of the outline, but these are two points that I have some disagreement with.

Nice job, though.

Edited by tdalton, 24 October 2010 - 07:33 AM.

[terminus]

I see what you're aiming for, tdalton - what does everyone else think?

[coco1997]

It works for me. If we go back and alter the parts of tdalton's write-up that chrisno changed, we should have the definitive treatment for UB26. I'm raring to go on UB27 and would be happy to see it posted some time today, if possible.

[tdalton]

[edit]

Edited by tdalton, 24 October 2010 - 09:05 AM.

[chrisno1]

Regards tdaltons' observatins:
1. Sebastian... I dont understand the need to make Sebastian a "major player" (my words) & some sort of gangster. It adds another level to the plot that is completely unneccessary. That was why I edited the sequence right down. Sebastian hardly features and we seem to be providing a very extensive back story and motive for someone who is simply going to be shot. All this will only be revealed in a very static interrogation scene. As I point ou the fake Damien Blanc story line is a MacGuffin and isn't central to the main narrative. While I apreciate it's certainly fun, I just think your suggestion is way too detailed.
2. Epilogue... We can do whatever we like with that. All I did was edit an exceptionally fine, but very long, explanation down to a manageable length. It read like a whole movie in itself! This is an epilogue after all! If you want to remove the gunshot that's fine, but the rest of it is pretty much how you wrote it.

Regards terminus' obsevations:
1. Far East reference... I entirely understood that reference. I altered it because otherwise there seems to be no valid reason why ETA is involved in the train crash. I know we see the guy with the 'Q' stud, but it still seems a very random attack. ETA doesn't feature in the rest of the film and I think this neatly ties off their connection to Quantum and explains why they don't reappear.

Edited by chrisno1, 24 October 2010 - 09:15 AM.

[terminus]

Right - the idea was that Quantum have been funding fringe groups and supplying them with weapons, those we see are the ETA one and the Casamance one. The idea was that Cesar has given Lucia a sample of the weapons that they're giving to the fringe groups to proove the arms smuggling is occuring - and ETA (and Quantum) are involved in the train attack to try and stop the weapons sample from reaching Paris, thus keeping the arms smuggling secret.

[tdalton]

I'm going to propose that we go back and change the casting for the fake "Damien Blanc" to a relatively unknown actor, as at this point I think that casting someone like James Woods into a part where he only gets the one scene basically results in a bit of stunt casting that isn't necessary. I think that the problem with the character is that he gets lost in the shuffle once the outline was structured to a point where he has no scenes other than the interrogation scenes. The idea behind casting someone like Woods' into that role was to throw off the audience into thinking he was the main villain through the first half of the story, and then to be thrown for a loop when it's discovered that it's not the film's biggest star that's the villain, but rather that distinction would go to the two relatively unknown actors (at least to the general public) in Laurent and Haley.


I think that there are a couple of ways of solving the issue around the fake "Damien Blanc" character. One is to remove him altogether and go without a primary villain named on the proforma (Quinn already fits the bill pretty much anyway), the other would be to give him some scenes towards the beginning of the film to establish him in the mind of the audience that he's the actual villain. A third would be to recast the part with someone that isn't as instantly recognizable as someone like James Woods. At this point, since the story is basically set, I'd opt for either the first or the third option (eliminate the character from the story or recast), but think that the best way to go would be the second (give him more scenes in the beginning of the story), but realize that this is pretty much unrealistic due to the massive amount of extra work that it would take for something that is otherwise complete.

In all honesty, I think that we should just cut the character from the story and wrap up work on this particular story. Once the decision was made to change the Damien Blanc character from being a real person who was a master of disguise to someone who didn't actually exist (and I'm complicit in this since I very much liked the idea at the time, and still do, although to a lesser degree now), the overall story became too complicated, and the fake "Damien Blanc" became nothing short of a glorified cameo that serves little to no purpose in the story. I think part of the problem with this issue is that once we began making changes to the ideas listed on the proforma rather than trying to mesh a few of them together, thats when things got a bit complicated.

I realize that all of this comes off as me complaining, which isn't my intention. In part, I'm just offering up a way to solve the issue regarding one particular character in the story while also thinking aloud a bit on why the storyline, which I think was pretty straightforward at the beginning, got as complicated as it did.

Edited by tdalton, 24 October 2010 - 03:39 PM.

[terminus]

I'd imagine that the next UB will be even more complicated due to what needs to be done in it.

I am happy to go with whatever - though I think loosing the Damien Blanc character would be a loss to the project, would prefer to somehow flesh the role out to make it work. I think the Woods casting is spot on - yes, it is stunt casting but the red herring about him being the villain of the piece wouldn't otherwise work.

[tdalton]

I'd imagine that the next UB will be even more complicated due to what needs to be done in it.

I'm not necessarily sure that it has to be. I think that whatever plot is decided upon, it could be one that's fairly straight forward, with a separate subplot running through it involving Quinn's hunt for Bond. I think that if the main plot is kept rather simple then everything else can still be done that needs to be done, while not bogging everything down with mistaken identities, anonymity, etc.

I am happy to go with whatever - though I think loosing the Damien Blanc character would be a loss to the project, would prefer to somehow flesh the role out to make it work. I think the Woods casting is spot on - yes, it is stunt casting but the red herring about him being the villain of the piece wouldn't otherwise work.

I'd like to see the character fleshed out as well, but at this point I don't know if it's possible to do that since the framework has already been agreed upon by several of the participants in the project. If someone wants to go ahead and flesh the character out, then I won't stand in the way of them doing so, but since it seems to have been decided by a majority here that Blanc is simply just an actor that has been hired, then I don't see how it can be fleshed out much beyond that point, and if that's all the character is going to be, then I'd suggest just axing him from the story. I don't think that the stunt casting works if the character only appears in one scene. It worked in PSYCHO because we saw Janet Leigh for the entire first half or so of the film and were led to believe that she was the main character of the film before Norman Bates entered the picture. The Marion Crane character was exclusively the main character for the first half of that film, occupying the screen for the duration of the first half, which made that stunt casting work. In this story, Blanc gets one scene, which is in captivity, which renders, at least IMO, the stunt casting as being basically pointless and would be unfair to the "audience".

Edited by tdalton, 24 October 2010 - 04:39 PM.