83 replies to this topic

[Jim]

For Your Eyes Only

Definite kills

1. [Name deleted for legal reasons]
2. Blokey blown up when Lotus "goes off"
3. Slay it with flowers; motorcyclist chappie
4-7 persons in the warehouse fight; as ever, choppy editing makes this one a little tricky
8. Locque
9. JIM (I take that very personally)
10. Apostis
11. Kriegler

For Roger Moore, this is a bloodbath.

Questionalble kills

12. Bloke on Kristatos' yacht who is hit by the bouy when Bond releases the rope having been keelhauled
13. Questionable spelling of "Questionable" there
13. Bloke with whom Bond smashes through the stained glass window

Do they die at all?

Bloke in submersible; probably survives

Motorcyclist who is knocked off his bike when he rides into the ski-pole stuck between two trees. If not dead, then poorly.

Bloke shot with an arrow by Melina towards the end, the bit with the basket etc. I know it's not Bond on the trigger, but that's still really going to hurt and he appears to be shot thru the heart.

[Evil Doctor Cheese]

Blofeld's Cat (19 Dec, 2001 11:36 a.m.):
Stilton immediately springs to mind.

Generally or in reference to Mister Asterix's comment?

[Jim]

I could cravenly beg your pardon for getting that one wrong; I suppose that's why the 'plane crashed.

Alternatively, one could argue that Orlov is the villain in Octopussy and James Bond doesn't kill him. Kamal Kahn is a nonentity.

[DJ]

Evil Doctor Cheese (19 Dec, 2001 12:07 a.m.):
Can anyone sit through that movie without wanting to put the kettle on? Truely? It's nice to watch it with the sound off I find.... That's my tip of the day "kids"!

Are you trying to make fun of me EDC? I should hope not for my brain power far outweighs yours. Record discs are a better source of energy than your "stilton", as BC so rightly states.

[scaramanga]

Jim (20 Nov, 2001 08:08 a.m.):
A View to a Kill

Definite kills

1 and 2: Russian chaps in helicopter

Questionable kills

3. Zorin. Did he fall or was he pushed? Stuck in a moment he can't gt out of, but I get the impression he slipped.

Er, that's it. Zorin kills dozens of course. But in the body of the film, it's questionable whether Bond actually kills anybody.

Anyone noticed how in his last three films, Roger Moore doesn't actually kill the villain. What's that about then?

I though that Bond caused the plane to crash in Octopussy? Didn't he tamper with a fuel cable or something on the outside of the plane which causes Khan to crash?

[Jim]

A View to a Kill

Definite kills

1 and 2: Russian chaps in helicopter

Questionable kills

3. Zorin. Did he fall or was he pushed? Stuck in a moment he can't gt out of, but I get the impression he slipped.

Er, that's it. Zorin kills dozens of course. But in the body of the film, it's questionable whether Bond actually kills anybody.

Anyone noticed how in his last three films, Roger Moore doesn't actually kill the villain. What's that about then?

[Blue Eyes]

I hate to thik how long Bond is going to spend in pugatory!

[Mister Asterix]

SCORES UPDATED
I've updated the movie score chart at the top of the post. For seven of the nineteen movies, our man Bond has a total of : drum roll please.

117

If he keeps up this pace he will end up with a total of somewhere around 318 for the movies. (Not including Bond 20[/URL]). Good thing he has a licence to do that sort of thing or he'd be in big trouble.

[Mister Asterix]

Agent 00* reporting once more:

Bond's Body Count for the movie
Tomorrow Never Dies:

92

The Questionable Kills:
3 Men in garage hit with missile from the BMW. All of these men tried to jump out of the way. I'd guess one of them got it.

In Carver's German office two guards seem to go down as Bond fires at them with a machine gun. I'm guessing 1 died, 1 was just diving for cover.

The first man out the door on Bond's side of the Stealth Boat that Bond punches and throws in the water in full gear. I say because of Bond this man drowned.

The guy in the Stealth Boat control room when Bond is sneaking around. I say it's a kill.


The Estimated Kills:
Terrorist Camp. Between Bonds machine gun and the Weapons from the MiG:
- Definite Kills: 8 - Estimate Kills: 20-80 - My guess: 28

Fire fight and grenade on Stealth Boat.
- Definite Kills: 2 - Estimated Kills: 4-12 - My Guess: 6

Men on catwalk on Stealth Boat that Bond hits with machine gun.
- Definite Kills: 1 - Estimated Kills: 1-4 - My Guess: 4

Men on second catwalk that Bond hits with first rocket.
- Definite Kills: 0 - Estimated Kills: 0-3 - My Guess: 2

Rocket #2
- Definite Kills: 1 - Estimated Kills: 1-3 - My Guess: 2

Random machine gun fire on Stealth Boat
- Definite Kills: 0 - Estimated Kills: 0-20 - My Guess: 4

Remaining crew on Stealth Boat when Bond blows it up
- Definite Kills: 0 - Estimated Kills: 0-40 - My Guess: 25


The Sure Kills:
MiG Pilot
'Back Seat Driver'
Guy with machine gun on top floor of Carver's German office.
Red coated Security Guard in Press Room
Dr. Kauffman
4 men in the helicopter in Vietnam
As Agent Jim so eloquantly says, 'Bloke he stabs in the chest to fake his own death. That's nasty.'
Guy Bond shoots and says 'I tuned out.'
Guy Bond shoots after Wai-Lin kills the other fellow with her throwing star.
Guy On Steps
Two men in Stealth Boat control room
Carver
Stamper

My total for Tomorrow Never Dies is ninety-two. That was tiring just counting them.

Notes: My source was my wide-screen tape of the movie from pay-per-view

Agent 00* out. And exhausted.

[Mister Asterix]

Agent 00* reporting again:

Bond's Body Count for the movie
The Man with the Golden Gun:

1

The Questionable Kills:
The three men in the bellydancers dressing room. I think these three were just knocked out.

The Sure Kills:
Scaramanga

My total for The Man with the Golden Gun is one, in agreement with Agent Jim's report.

Notes: My source was my tape of the film off of TBS's 7 days of 007

Agent 00* out.

[Jim]

Jim (12 Nov, 2001 01:11 p.m.):
(My source was my own memory and I'm probably wrong about this)

Dr No: 7

Even then, it's questionable. Can't get much more graphic than Professor Dent, so that's a definite "one".

Arguably, it's only 1. Quite a "1" no doubt, but only 1. Weed.

I was right; I was wrong. Forgot the guard in the swamp, who Bond very definitely kills. So that's a definite "two".

[Jim]

Quantum of Solace: Nil
Octopussy: Nil
The Property of a Lady: Nil
The Living Daylights (short story): One
The Hildebrand Rarity: Nil

Thrills, spills, danger and excitement, non?

[Mister Asterix]

TOTALS AT TOP
I put a totals chart in a modification to the first post of this topic. I put it there so we wouldn't have charts all over the place and so everyone would know where to look for it. I will add more details (averages, etc.) to the chart when we have more reports from the agents.

And don't be afraid to post your score for a movie that someone else has already done or to amend or change your reports.

And don't forget I'd like to get this information for the books, too. So, if your reading one of the books keep your scorecard handy.

[Jim]

Sorry for posting twice. Sorry for posting at all, in fact. But I did improve the joke on the second one, he writes modestly.

[Jim]

The Man with the Golden Gun

1. Scaramanga

That's it.

The blokes in the Beirut changing room he just beats up. Beats up Andrea Anders as well, the naughty man.

I can't think of anyone else. Is this the all-time record?

He should kill Mary Goodnight and that porter in the Hong Kong hotel. Mercy killings, both.

[Jim]

The Man with the Golden Gun

1. Scaramanga

That's it.

The blokes in the Beirut changing room he just beats up. Beats up Andrea Anders as well, the naughty man.

I can't think of anyone else. Is this the all-time record?

He should kill Mary Goodnight, but that would only be good judgment on his part.

[Jim]

Sorry, I guess I meant nobody dying at all. But as I write, I realise there's the valentine and the bloke who is garotted.

Perhaps it was another one of my poorly thought out diatribes against Licence to Kill. Any excuse, frankly...

Perhaps I should have written "the only pre-credits in which Bond appears in which he doesn't kill anybody". But then that'd be YOLT as well. And very probably OHMSS (maybe).

Alternatively, it's the only one in which Bond fires his gun and doesn't kill anyone. Perhaps he should join the A Team.

Face it, I'm just writing rubbish. Sorry, please get back on topic.

[Mister Asterix]

Jim (12 Nov, 2001 04:42 p.m.):
Zero in the pre-credits. Is this a record?

No, In Live And Let Die and From Russia With Love, Bond does not even appear, much less score a kill. And there is no pre-credits in Dr. No.

[Jim]

That's the problem with creating the game; you have to make up the rules as you go along.

Even with Dr No's death at the hands (no pun intended) of Bond, that's still only two. I wonder if the Bond of Dr No would recognise the trigger happy Schwarzenegger clone of TND?

I wonder if Fleming would, but that's another gripe entirely.

On a kills per film ratio, Brosnan is way ahead. He has a working average of 25 (say) and I doubt it will reduce with GoldenEye. All those folk in Archangel. All those folk in the archive place in St Petersburg. All those folk under the dish.

And they said Licence to Kill was violent. On the subject of my least favourite film, and I'm not watching it again for the sake of this game, I count as follows.

Zero in the pre-credits. Is this a record?

1. Killifer
2 and 3. Seaplane pilots
4. Clive
5. Possibly a frogman
6. Not Q. Which is a pity.
6. Dario
7. Sanchez
8 and 9. On the basis that they're stuck in a moment, and they can't get out of it, that heavily moustachioed henchman and the one what done lookin' like a frog, in their truck, after Bond sprays fuel all over the road and they have their Thelma and Louise moment
10. Probably the truck driver of Bond's truck, although he's thrown off the car by Sanchez's driver isn't he? What the hell. I seem to know this film better than I'm letting on. I'm only trying to improve the score here, which isn't looking terribly good.

And I'm spent.

Let's just say that the Hong Kong narcotics team and the other British agent are "questionable". As is Krest. Whole bloody film's questionable. Unclear who and how many die at the meditation institute. Let's say no-one. Makes a change.

Ten. That's a bit weedy, isn't it? For such a "violent" film. Only just scrapes into double figures.

However, of course, only Killifer is a "legitimate", or licensed, kill. The remainder are (frankly) murder.

As is the film, arf arf.

[Mister Asterix]

Mister Asterix (12 Nov, 2001 04:09 p.m.):
...Bond put Dr. No into a situation in which he could not possibly survive. I'd chaulk that down as a yes.

Sorry to quote myself but I guess I should have said, Bond put Dr. No into a situation in which he could not possibly survive and Dr. No died. There are hundreds of times in these movies where someone is put into a situation in which he could not possibly survive and still manage to. (Of course, most of those situations, that someone is Bond.)

[MDSmith]

His license to kill is sure racking up points!

[Mister Asterix]

Evil Doctor Cheese (12 Nov, 2001 03:13 p.m.):(edited)
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
1. First Bond shoots one dead in the Banker's office (BOND)
8-11. During the ski chase 4 men die (BOND)
13. Davidoff (BOND)
19-22. 3 of Renard's men are killed by both Bond & Renard (BOND)
72-74. 3 people die in the first helicopter at the Caviar factory (BOND)
75. One of the men who jumps out of the Helicopter is shot by Bond (BOND)
76-77. 2 die in the other helicopter (BOND)
100. Elektra (BOND)
101. A bald man whose head Bond uses to open a door in the sub! (BOND)
102-104. Of Renard's crew shot by Bond (BOND)
105. Renard (BOND)

Good lord! That's a blood bath!

From your list, Cheese. I get 21 where Bond was the 'trigger man'. I'd say that still fits nicely into the 'blood bath' category.

Jim (12 Nov, 2001 01:11 p.m.):
...Dr No himself? Bond certainly beats him up, but doesn't he drown because his hands can't grip the girders? Arguably he wouldn't be in the water in the first place had Bond not been around, but is Bond on the trigger finger...

Jim, I'd have to watch the scene again but as I recall it, Bond put Dr. No into a situation in which he could not possibly survive. I'd chaulk that down as a yes.

[Jim]

Me again, sorry. Today, my work is boring me. I need a holiday.

Tomorrow Never Dies, general bloodbath aside...here comes James Bond, and either that's a gun in his pocket or he's pleased to see you. On the basis of the below, it's likely to be a gun.

1-15 (This is a very rough estimate) Terrorists in the precredits. I may have to force myself to watch this again, but there's folks flying about all over the place.
16,17. Co-pilot and the other pilot
18. probably the bloke he smashes over the head with the glass ashtray. That's really going to hurt.
19. They'll print anything these days
20-22 (say) other poor saps who turned up to CMGN in Hamburg for a day's looking tough and security guard like, only to get shot by James Bond.
23. Dr Kaufman.
24,25,26,27 the tailor's dummy inhabitants of the helicopter (although you could chalk that one up to Wai Lin)
28 The chap slammed in the face with the jack in the box thing in the Chinese safe house. Either that, or he's going to have one hell of a headache
29,30 when Bond goes mad with the machine gun in the office in Saigon
(this is getting ridiculous and I haven't even considered the "questionable" folks in the Range Rovers on the streets of Saigon)
31, 32. The captain of the stealth boat and
very probably the bloke who sits next to him when Bond shoots them through the glass towards the end.
33. Carver
34. Stamper
35. Bloke he stabs in the chest to fake his own death. That's nasty.
After that, it's anyone's guess. "Several" aboard the stealth boat, and that's before he blows it up at the end. Basically, anyone not in the water at the end, dies. Yikes.

I know the name of the game is to whittle these down precisely, but when you've got bang bang editing like TND, it's quite hard. The final Bond body total is going to be over thirty. Man's a psychopath.

[Jim]

Yeah, but isn't the topic how many folks Bond has killed? Elektra gunning down the folks in the pipleine station ain't Bond; neither is the Cigar Girl, who kills herself.

That aside, if you're right, it means there's a death roughly every minute in TWINE. Ow.

If we're doing it on that basis, the body count in the mine in A View to a Kill must be immense. And the Devonshire in Tomorrow Never Dies.

I count, for Bond, in TWINE:-

1. Stooge in banker's office
2. Davidoff (might be reaching for his gun; might be unarmed. That's murder, isn't it? Naughty).
3. Elektra
4. Renard
5,6,7,8 (not a Steps song, shudder). Stooges in helicopter
9. Gabor
10-11 (I think) in the weapons silo place. Might be another one. Hard to tell what's going on.
12-14 (I think): Renard's men in the submarine. Might be another one. Hard to tell what's going on.
15,16,17 Parahawk rider/fliers/drivers, whatever. I know there were four of them, but one is foolish enough to wrap his parachute around a tree. OK, Bond led him there...questionable, questionable.

I think that's it. It's "roughly" 20, which is still a kill every six minutes or so. Man's a lunatic. Lock him up.

[Evil Doctor Cheese]

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

My estimate for deaths in this film is...

111 deaths

26 by or because of Bond

That's a huge amount... here's how I break it down...

1. First Bond shoots one dead in the Banker's office (BOND)
2. Banker (Because of BOND)
3. Man shot dead by Renard (Because of BOND)
4. Sir Robert King
5 & 6. During the boat chase 2 men explode in a boat as The Cigar Girl passes. (they may not have actually died) (beacause of BOND)
7. The Cigar Girl
8-11. During the ski chase 4 men die (BOND)
12. Dr Arkov
13. Davidoff (BOND)
14-18. During the cross fire before Renard hijacks bomb... 5 men die (because of BOND)
19-22. 3 of Renard's men are killed by both Bond & Renard (BOND)
23-27. Five men die as Renard and some of his other men escape with the Bomb.
28 - 67. I estimate that 40 people die as the Nuclear place explodes.
68-71. 4 die when Elektra tells M that she killed her father.
72-74. 3 people die in the first helicopter at the Caviar factory (BOND)
75. One of the men who jumps out of the Helicopter is shot by Bond (BOND)
76-77. 2 die in the other helicopter (BOND)
78-86. I estimate that 9 people are killed by Mr Bullion's bomb in the safe house
87-91. Nicoli's "skeleton crew" are poisoned by Renard
92-96. Killed by Zuckovsy before he enter's Elektra's hideout.
97. One more when he enters
98. Bull
99. Zukovsky killed by Elektra
100. Elektra (BOND)
101. A bald man whose head Bond uses to open a door in the sub! (BOND)
102-104. Of Renard's crew shot by Bond (BOND)
105. Renard (BOND)
106-111. I estimate that the "six" remaining crew die as the sub explodes especially if Renard did meddle with their scuba gear.

Good lord! That's a blood bath! 111!

But of this 111 only 26 are killed by Bond. That's huge compared to Dr No's "possible" one death! I don't count people like King becuase he would've been killed anyway without Bond's intevention... but I do count the men who Renard kills as he tries to get it from underground because if it wasn't for Bond Renard would not have been in such a rush to get the bomb out.

So that's 26.

Agent 00Cheese over and out!

[Jim]

(My source was my own memory and I'm probably wrong about this)

Dr No: 7

Even then, it's questionable. Can't get much more graphic than Professor Dent, so that's a definite "one".

Dr No himself? Bond certainly beats him up, but doesn't he drown because his hands can't grip the girders? Arguably he wouldn't be in the water in the first place had Bond not been around, but is Bond on the trigger finger...hmm. A dodgy "two",

Mr Jones as "three". Actually, he commits suicide, but again wouldn't have done so had Bond not been belting seven shades of poo-poo out of him so...a very dodgy "three".

The three blind mice and their driver...four more, but it's a car accident, and simply fluke, isn't it?

Arguably, it's only 1. Quite a "1" no doubt, but only 1. Weed.

[Mister Asterix]

Agent 00* reporting again:

Bond's Body Count for the movie
Live and Let Die:

8

The Questionable Kills:
The two men in the Alley in Harlem. They could just be knocked out, but Bond and Harry Strutter act as if they are of no worry. I'm going to count them.

The man Bond kicks off the cliff from the Hang Glider. I would have to say this man is dead or he would have reported in.

Whisper: Unless he suffocated I would have to say he either was released by one of the other thugs or captured.

Tee-Hee: I think he's dead. A lot of people survive in movies after being thrown from trains, but we don't know what the terrain was like and he was in quite a precarious position.

The Sure Kills:
The man who stole J.W.Pepper's brother-in-law's boat.
The man with the goat head that Bond shoots
The man Bond shoots with the Machete
Kananga

My total for Live and Let Die is eight. (Still fewer than I would suspected.)

Notes: My source was my tape of the film off of TBS's 7 days of 007

Agent 00* out.

[Mister Asterix]

Agent 00* reporting in:

Bond's Body Count for the movie
Goldfinger:

6

The Questionable Kills:
In the teaser when Bond blows-up the secret base, were there any guards or other people in the base: I say no. There may have been guards killed around the base but I saw no evidence of that so I think he just blew up the base.

Goldfinger, himself: this is a tough one. Does Bond kill Goldfinger. I watched this scene over and over and then frame by frame and I think Goldfinger accidentally kills himself. The two men are wrestling in the plane when Goldfinger's gun fires. Watching this closely only Goldfinger's finger is on the trigger. Bond has one hand wrapped around the bottom of Goldfinger's hand and the other around his wrist. Neither of Bond's hands are near the trigger. Conclusion: Goldfinger killed himself.

The Sure Kills:
Man in the tub during the teaser. (shocking)
Three men in car the goes off the cliff because of the oil slick.
Bond shoots dead one man during Gun fight near the Aston-Martin.
Oddjob.

So that makes my total six. (A lot less than I would have thought.)

Notes: My source was the American VHS version of Goldfinger

Agent 00* out.

[Mister Asterix]

scaramanga (09 Nov, 2001 01:42 p.m.):
I wonder how many people died in the TND teaser when Bond uses the MiG like a machine gun to shoot all those terrorists before taking off and saving the day.

That's the sort of thing I'd like to hear you guys estimate.

scaramanga (09 Nov, 2001 01:42 p.m.):
Also, Bond delivers the bomb to MI6 HQ in TWINE, so really its he who is responsible for all those poor civil servant's and Sir Robert King's deaths.

For me, I wouldn't count Bond as the 'trigger man' in that case, more as part of the weapon. Those kills I would give to Electra and Renard.

[Mister Asterix]

Blue Eyes (09 Nov, 2001 08:49 a.m.):
.

Hmmmm... I see your point.


I crack me up sometimes. ^_^