94 replies to this topic

[Scottlee]

Thought it might be a nice reverse of the "best fights" thread..

What were the most rubbish fights in the Bond series?

1) Bond v bearded fat man in Zorin's horse stable (AVTAK)
2) Bond v Jaws on cable car (MR)
3) Bond v Mr Jones (Dr No)
4) Bond v the entire bar (LTK)
5) Bond v ship-hand (GE, early on)
6) Bond v hockey players (FYEO)
7) Bond v Mr Kill (DAD)
8) Bond v Graves (DAD, ending)
9) Bond v Zukovsky lackie (TWINE, casino)
10) Bond v guy in surgeon mask (YOLT)

[Streetworker]

Thought it might be a nice reverse of the "best fights" thread..

What were the most rubbish fights in the Bond series?

1) Bond v bearded fat man in Zorin's horse stable (AVTAK)
2) Bond v Jaws on cable car (MR)
3) Bond v Mr Jones (Dr No)
4) Bond v the entire bar (LTK)
5) Bond v ship-hand (GE, early on)
6) Bond v hockey players (FYEO)
7) Bond v Mr Kill (DAD)
8) Bond v Graves (DAD, ending)
9) Bond v Zukovsky lackie (TWINE, casino)
10) Bond v guy in surgeon mask (YOLT)

Some surprises, there. Particularly 3, 5, 6, 9, 10. But I'm right with you on your first choice; that fight in AVTAK was atrocious.

[doublenoughtspy]

I agree with #9 - that just felt way too staged.

Cool that Bond knew he was carrying a knife because of the x-ray glasses, but it was just executed too smoothly.

[rnblover1971]

How about Famke Janssen?

As sexy as they were and as much as they turned me or the next guy on, any of the fights that Bond had with Xenia Onatopp.

How many of us out there know any babes who can squeeze a man to death with her thighs?

[Tarl_Cabot]

I agree with #9 - that just felt way too staged.

Cool that Bond knew he was carrying a knife because of the x-ray glasses, but it was just executed too smoothly.

That was one of the lamest scene in TWINE; the whole entrance and attitude and those shades.... yuck.




Brosnan vs Renard is awful.especially the groaning...

[Kara Milovy]

Thought it might be a nice reverse of the "best fights" thread..

What were the most rubbish fights in the Bond series?

1) Bond v bearded fat man in Zorin's horse stable (AVTAK)
2) Bond v Jaws on cable car (MR)
3) Bond v Mr Jones (Dr No)
4) Bond v the entire bar (LTK)
5) Bond v ship-hand (GE, early on)
6) Bond v hockey players (FYEO)
7) Bond v Mr Kill (DAD)
8) Bond v Graves (DAD, ending)
9) Bond v Zukovsky lackie (TWINE, casino)
10) Bond v guy in surgeon mask (YOLT)

Your #5 is actually one of my favorites.

How about Bond vs. the sumo wrestler in TMWTGG (wins with a wedgie!), or Bond vs. the karate school in TMWTGG (saved by the schoolgirls)?

[Mr_Wint]

I think we have a clear "winner" here:

1) Bond v Graves (DAD, ending)

[Double-Oh-Zero]

I've always found Bond vs. Oddjob to be quite dire.

[Streetworker]

Thought it might be a nice reverse of the "best fights" thread..

What were the most rubbish fights in the Bond series?

1) Bond v bearded fat man in Zorin's horse stable (AVTAK)
2) Bond v Jaws on cable car (MR)
3) Bond v Mr Jones (Dr No)
4) Bond v the entire bar (LTK)
5) Bond v ship-hand (GE, early on)
6) Bond v hockey players (FYEO)
7) Bond v Mr Kill (DAD)
8) Bond v Graves (DAD, ending)
9) Bond v Zukovsky lackie (TWINE, casino)
10) Bond v guy in surgeon mask (YOLT)

Your #5 is actually one of my favorites.

How about Bond vs. the sumo wrestler in TMWTGG (wins with a wedgie!), or Bond vs. the karate school in TMWTGG (saved by the schoolgirls)?

I like 5, too. And you're right about the fights in TMWTGG; although I love the early fight in the dressing room in that movie.

[WC]

How about Famke Janssen?

As sexy as they were and as much as they turned me or the next guy on, any of the fights that Bond had with Xenia Onatopp.

How many of us out there know any babes who can squeeze a man to death with her thighs?

Speaking as a cat with nine lives, I can safely say that death by thigh crushing is true! Maybe I'll get the chance to experience it again!

BTW - in the Goldeneye novel by John Gardner, those scenes are a little different, aren't they?

Edited by Welshcat, 26 October 2005 - 07:40 PM.

[Monsieur B]

Your #5 is actually one of my favorites.

How about Bond vs. the sumo wrestler in TMWTGG (wins with a wedgie!), or Bond vs. the karate school in TMWTGG (saved by the schoolgirls)?

And don't forget that Roger got two handfuls of bare sumo too. I really wondered what Roger had hoped to achieve by squeezing the sumo wrestler's buttocks - seriously what was up with that?!

Edited by Monsieur B, 26 October 2005 - 08:23 PM.

[ComplimentsOfSharky]

The two worst for me are Bond and Renard and the last fight between Bond and Graves.

[WC]

The two worst for me are Bond and Renard and the last fight between Bond and Graves.

Yeah, I think I'd fully agree with that.

[Problem Eliminator]

• Back to top

[DLibrasnow]

1) Bond v bearded fat man in Zorin's horse stable (AVTAK)

I love this movie but you are right, this fight scene was terrible...the man lies down on the conveyor belt

[Double-Oh Agent]

Here's my top five (or is that bottom five) worst Bond fights:

Honorable mention -- Columbo vs. Kristatos' thug at the monestary (This one always bugs me. At one point Columbo is fighting the guy and the next he's chasing Kristatos. What happened? How did Columbo win? We don't know because it's not shown, which is ridiculous because he is a major character.

#5 -- Bond vs. Ivan and Boris in The Spy Who Loved Me (just doesn't work for me)

#4 -- Bond vs. Zorin's security guards in A View To A Kill (would be okay but the one guard clearly lays down on the assembly line ruining the effectiveness of the scene)

#3 -- Bond vs. hockey players in For Your Eyes Only (starts off well but loses its footing once Bond regains his)

#2 -- Hip, Hip's nieces, and Bond (well he does push a guy and toss another in the creek) vs. Hai-Fat's karate students in The Man With The Golden Gun (initial humor at the girls' fighting skills is overtaken by the ineptness of the students)

#1 -- Bond vs. Kananga's Harlem thugs in Live And Let Die (would anybody really get knocked out by those hits?)

[ComplimentsOfSharky]

Bond v Kananga himself is pretty bad too.

[Qwerty]

I love this movie but you are right, this fight scene was terrible...the man lies down on the conveyor belt

Quite - incredibly horrible to watch. A low-point in that film without a doubt. Boring as well.

[A Kristatos]

10) Bond v Jaws (MR PTS)
Let's see Jaws fly without wings, and Bond grabbing someone else's parachute off in midair!

9) Bond v the entire bar (LTK)
Looked like a fight out of any 80's college movie ('Back To School' comes to mind! )

8) Bond v hockey players (FYEO)
Obviously played for comic effect, but not that original or funny.

7) Bond v karate students (TMWTGG)
Nice to see Bond didn't have to do all of the fighting, but still!

6) Bond v Lippe (NSNA)
Just way too much slapstick for a Bond fight! Too much Three Stooges, too little tension.

5) Bond v Zorin (AVTAK)
How Bond does not roll off the Golden Gate bridge, I will never know!

4) Bond v Kamal Khan/Gobinda/thug on train (OP)
How Bond hangs onto the train, I will never know!

3) Bond v Kamal Khan/Gobinda (end of OP)
How Bond hangs onto the plane, I will never know!

2) Bond v Xenia Onatopp (GE)
Could there have been anymore of an annoying character in a Bond movie than her? Pretty self-explanatory.

1) Bond v Sumo wrestler (TMWTGG)
As annoying as Xenia is, this fight wins (or should I say loses) hands down (pun intended)!

Edited by A Kristatos, 26 October 2005 - 10:49 PM.

[avl]

10) Bond v Jaws (MR PTS)
Let's see Jaws fly without wings, and Bond grabbing someone else's parachute off in midair!

Oh man thats one of my absolute favourites!!

[Carver]

I've always found Bond vs. Oddjob to be quite dire.

I'm with you there. I mean, what the hell were they thinking allowing a solid bar of gold to bounce off Oddjob's chest? I doubt Bond would have even been able to throw it that far (or with that much force), but bouncing off OJ's chest? Ridiculous. It's the only bad part of a great film.
I'm also a hater of the hockey fight in FYEO. It just randomly starts and I hate the fact that Bond "scores" with every once. Urgh, corny. Another shameful one is the Golden Gate bridge fight that A Kristatos mentioned-realistically Bond would have fallen to his death by dodging those bullets, and I really wish he would have just kicked that annoying bint Stacy off the bridge for starters. I'm also not a fan of:
LTK: Bond and Dario- how does Bond not suffer the most painful death? By hanging on with one finger?!?
DAF: The oil rig battle- possibly the worst part of the whole series, Tiffany falling oover the side from the shock of firing the machine gun (I hate this bit so much! Aaargh!)
TSWLM: Bond vs Stromberg- I know it's not much of a fight, but I really don't like Stromberg's dramatic death, with arms spread out and ultimate dramatised "Oh no, I'm dying!" face.

[Turn]

#1 -- Bond vs. Kananga's Harlem thugs in Live And Let Die  (would anybody really get knocked out by those hits?)

I wondered when somebody would get around to that one. Not a good start for Moore's Bond. It makes those karate chops to the neck that seem to knock somebody out on the first try on The Man From UNCLE seem more plausible.

I am also not a big fan of the whole rock salt shotgun fight at Sutton's place in AVTAK. It again turns from a potentially interesting fight into a comedy skit. It's also kind of weird to see Moore fire that last shotgun blast with such vicous streak. Makes you wonder what a tougher Moore could have been like.

[Harmsway]

2) Bond v Xenia Onatopp (GE)
Could there have been anymore of an annoying character in a Bond movie than her?  Pretty self-explanatory.

Many love her, as do I. I think she's a pretty fun one, and has a better henchperson gimmick than any of the rest to follow after in the Brosnan era. Great stuff.

[Vanish]

[/quote]
DAF: The oil rig battle- possibly the worst part of the whole series, Tiffany falling oover the side from the shock of firing the machine gun (I hate this bit so much! Aaargh!)
[/quote]


YES! Definitely - That flick has a number of cringe-worthy scenes, but none can top that scene.

[Harmsway]

[quote name='Vanish' date='26 October 2005 - 19:49']

[/quote]
DAF: The oil rig battle- possibly the worst part of the whole series, Tiffany falling oover the side from the shock of firing the machine gun (I hate this bit so much! Aaargh!)
[/quote]


YES! Definitely - That flick has a number of cringe-worthy scenes, but none can top that scene.

[/quote]
But to stand up for DAF, the elevator fight between Bond and Peter Franks is one of the best in the series.

[Vanish]

That's very true - I'll give the film that. The close-quartered fight there is truly one of the better fights in the series.

[triviachamp]

Bond vs. Kananga's Harlem thugs in Live And Let Die  (would anybody really get knocked out by those hits?)

Not to mention that Bond apparently kills at least one of them!

[00-FAN008]

Bond vs Hockey Players (FYEO)
Bond vs Moon Buggy Guys (DAF)
Bond vs Wint and Kidd (DAF)
Bond vs Blofeld Clones (DAF)

Bond v ship-hand (GE, early on)

I can't agree with you on that one. I love the way Pierce Brosnan uses the towel to his advantage - the way he disarms that guy makes him look so stylish and suave.

[DLibrasnow]

5) Bond v Zorin (AVTAK)
How Bond does not roll off the Golden Gate bridge, I will never know!

I would agree with you, except for the fact that they did have two stuntmen fighting on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge and they didn't roll off it.

[tdalton]

Bond vs Moon Buggy Guys (DAF)
Bond vs Wint and Kidd (DAF)
Bond vs Blofeld Clones (DAF)

I agree with those three. Really, anything in DAF can be considered amongst the worst in the series.

Other bad fights:

Bond vs. Graves (end of DAD)
Bond vs. Renard (end of TWINE)
Bond vs. Stamper (end of TND)
Bond vs. Carver (end of TND: if that actually counts as a fight )
Two girls vs. martial arts students (TMWTGG)
Bond vs. Mr. Big (end of LALD)
Bond vs. Zorin on the Golden Gate Bridge

Edited by tdalton, 27 October 2005 - 02:55 AM.