106 replies to this topic

[Agent Carter]

9.Daniel Craig doesn't need Q. he is a gadget!

HAH! Love that one.

Too many to re-quote guys. Thanks for making me LLOL. Literally Laugh Our Loud.

[Thunderfinger]

Daniel Craig ate my old warship.
Now it

[Juliet]

MTV once tried to set up Daniel Craig on Punk'd. The episode was never shown, as he pulled out a Walther PPK and shot Ashton Kutcher.

LOL, OMG, this just made me spit up!!

Juliet

[Double-0-Seven]

Ironically, Daniel Craig's hidden talent is invisibility.

[*Gala*]

In our calender, BC stands for "Before Craig". Likewise, AD stands for "After Daniel" since we all must follow in his footsteps...

[RazorBlade]

This is pretty dumb, but funny.

[Vauxhall]

MTV once tried to set up Daniel Craig on Punk'd. The episode was never shown, as he pulled out a Walther PPK and shot Ashton Kutcher.

LOL, OMG, this just made me spit up!!

Juliet

Haha, I aim to please! A few more:

Daniel Craig helped U2 find what they were looking for.

When asked what he got on his high school exams, Daniel Craig replied "blood".

Daniel Craig once beat the Mona Lisa in a staring contest.

Daniel Craig only wears a bulletproof vest to protect the bullets.

If Daniel Craig had been in The Terminator, Arnie would never have been back.

[FullMetalJacket]

When Daniel Craig was born he immediately had sex with the nurse; at this point it was the third woman he had sex with. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, it checks for Daniel Craig in its closet.

[Double-0-Seven]

In our calender, BC stands for "Before Craig". Likewise, AD stands for "After Daniel" since we all must follow in his footsteps...

Good one.

[Bryce (003)]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, it checks for Daniel Craig in its closet.

THAT'S good!

Real good.

The reason there's been no reported sightings of the the Loch Ness monster in the last decade is because Daniel Craig ate it with some bangers and mash as a snack. He later had sex with the waitress that served it to him. Twice.

[FullMetalJacket]

Daniel Craig once ate three 72-oz. steaks in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

When Daniel Craig calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He just holds up the phone and money falls out.

When taking the SAT, write "Daniel Craig" for every answer. You will score an instant 1600.

When Daniel Craig's sperm travel through a woman's uterus, only an atomic bomb can stop them.

The Army is now in the process of considering Daniel Craig as the new weapon of mass destruction.

Daniel Craig doesn't need a parachute when he jumps 15,000 feet from an airplane. He only has to stare at the ground long enough and it will come to him.

[sgt-scream]

Daniel Craig can bitch-slap someone into card suits.

[CJB]

A young Daniel Craig got bored and threw some pebbles around. Stonehenge was formed.

Daniel Craig hears pins drop and sees needles in haystacks.

Every war in history began with a country insulting Daniel Craig.

Supersonic waves are caused by Daniel Craig blinking.

The UK has 201 WMD's. 200 warheads, and Daniel Craig.

Daniel Craig split the atom with his fist.

The famous WWII quote really goes, "If you see planes in the daytime, it's the US Air Force. If you see planes at night, it's the RAF. If you see no planes at all, Daniel Craig has annihilated the Luftwaffe."

[Bondian]

LOL. Have just read this whole thread. And for once, I just cannot add anything however remotely funny.

Maybe this is my only solution. And actually, uncannily quite apt for our hero.

The 'Daniel Craig Bond' Ten Commandments.

"I am the latest actor thy God who have brought thee out of the house of bondage". (EON?)

"Thou shalt have no other gods besides me". (unless of course a remake of the 1967 Casino Royale is made).

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain". (just a heads-up for CnB).

"Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy". (November 11th?. A movie's Premiere?).

"Honor thy Father and Mother". (Gratuitous sex?)

"Thou shalt not murder". (too late)

"Thou shalt not commit adultery". (too late)

"Thou shalt not steal". (too late for that as well )

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor". (Sean Connery please note )

Thou shalt not covet. (Blofeld's dug out volcano is a good start)

All in good fun. But if the mods find this inappropriate, please delete.

Cheers,


Ian

[Mister Asterix]

There is always room for disagreement with Daniel Craig. That room is called the morgue.

Daniel Craig has never been confused by anything on ‘Lost’.

(Both admittedly stolen from a Fred Thompson website.)

[EL7]

Daniel Craig is stronger then the Dark side of the Force.

Not known for being a nature lover, Daniel Craig once killed a cloud.

When he drinks too much, Daniel Craig doesn't throw up, he throws down.

Daniel Craig punched a man so hard, it killed him twice.

Daniel Craig knew what the Matrix was without taking any coloured pills.

Matt Damon would ditch Jason Borne to play Daniel Craig.

Daniel Craig canceled Christmas.

Daniel Craig won a staring contest with his mirror reflection.

[Judo chop]

While Daniel Craig has an erection, no other man can.