266 replies to this topic

[seawolfnyy]

Solitaire: "Where's Kananga?"

 

Bond: "Well he always did have an inflated opinion of himself.....wait, that was awful I can do better."

[Call Billy Bob]

Mr. Kidd: "Mrs. Whistler DID want some pictures of the canals for the children."

 

Mr. Wint: "How kind of you, Mr. Kidd. The children will be... so thrilled."

 

Mr. Kidd: "Oh, did you actually want her body in the photograph? I saw a dog on a boat behind her and thought it was cute."

[AMC Hornet]

Goodnight: "Oh James - I thought this would never happen."

 

Bond: "What changed your mind?"

 

Goodnight: "Watching those young Thai men dancing in the courtyard got me fruity, and you were my only option."

[The Dove]

Thumper: "All yours...Bambi!!"

 

Bambi: "Piss off, I'm watching TV!! You'll have to deal with him by yourself!"

[Call Billy Bob]

Bond: "Balls, Q?"

 

Q: "Bolas, 007. What are you, 12?"

[seawolfnyy]

Bond: "You wouldn't happen to have another piece of thread? Someone seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet."

 

Q: "They missed you, what a pity."

 

Bond: "Hey! I could've died a**hole!"

[glidrose]

Bond: It´s all right. It´s quite all right, really. She´s having a rest. We'II be going on soon. There´s no hurry, you see? We have all the time in the world. In the mean time, I've never gotten head from a dead woman. Don't look at me like that. What am I bloody well supposed to do? I'm an over-sexed secret agent and her face is already in my lap. Waste not, want not.

[The Dove]

Villiers: "Sorry..can I put you on hold?"

 

Bond: " I thought you might!"

 

* Goldeneye N64 Elevator music theme starts to play over Bond's cell phone*

 

Operator: "Thank you for calling Universal Exports.. All of our agents are currently assisting other customers.. The average wait time is approximately 7 minutes...Please stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly!"

[Call Billy Bob]

Blofeld: "We are now impregnable."

 

Bond: "Do you realize how gross that sounds?"

[The Dove]

Dr. Kaufman: "Aahhh Stamper!! Stop yelling in my ear, ya??!! "

 

Stamper: " Sir, they can't get into the car!!"

 

TV Commercial Announcer: " DON'T let this happen to you!! Whenever you find yourself locked out of your vehicle, remember... *annoying commercial jingle begins* Call 1-800-CAR-OPEN! We'll get you on your way!! "

[AMC Hornet]

"If you're Tanaka, how do you feel about me?"

 

"I - love you."

 

"Girly-man!" (Blam!)

or:

 

"If you're Tanaka, how do you feel about me?"

 

"I - love you."

 

"Come to me!"

[Fairbanks]

Bond: "But what does the club secretary have to say about it?"

 

Goldfinger: "Oh nothing, Mr. Bond. I own the club."

 

Bond: "When are you going to fix up that men's room? I pay fifty quid a month, and you can't hire a toilet attendant?" 

[AMC Hornet]

Bond: "Mr Henderson?"

 

Dikko: "That's right."

 

Bond: "Excuse me..." (Takes cane)

 

Whack!

 

Dikko: "Arghh!"

 

Bond: "Aha! You're not Henderson! Henderson has a wooden leg!"

 

Dikko: "The other one, you idiot!"

 

Tap tap

 

Bond: "Oh. Sorry..."

[AMC Hornet]

I'm on a roll, folks.

 

 

Bond: "How will I recognize him?"

 

Andrea: "Tall, slim and dark..."

 

Bond: "So's my aunt. Anything distinctive about him?"

 

Andrea: "Yes, but how can I - I mean, he's not like other people; he has three..."

 

Bond: "Hmm - do you suppose he has a twin sister?"

[The Dove]

Alec: " Lovely girl... Tastes rather like strawberries! "

Bond: " Ack!! Get her away from me!! I'm allergic to strawberries!! "

[Call Billy Bob]

Bond: "You did say your clock was correct?"

 

Embassy man: "Russian clocks are always..."

 

BOOM

 

Bond: "Well, this serves your smug arse right!"

[The Dove]

Bond: "Oh, you want to get off!" *tips Blofeld down the chimney*

 

Blofeld: " Mr. Bonnnnddd!! *crash* "

 

Factory worker: " Right Fred, you can fire up chimney number 7!! "

[seawolfnyy]

Mendes: "He's an extraordinary actor. I could not be happier than to be having him in this cast, joining us on this journey...."

 

Mendes (cont.) "Mr Ernst Stavro....I mean Christoph Waltz."

[The Dove]

(LMAO!! That would have been GREAT!! )

[SPECTRE ASSASSIN]

Dr. Goodhead: Where's Drax?

Bond: Oh, he had to fly.

Goodhead: But that's a physical impossibility. There's no atmosphere in space!

*Bond rolls eyes*

[Call Billy Bob]

Blofeld: "They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong."

 

Bond: "Yes, this is my second life."

 

Blofeld: "Witchcraft! Burn him!"

[The Dove]

Baccarat player: "Dame can't pay up!"

 

Bond: " Well don't look at me to pay..it's her problem!"

[seawolfnyy]

M: "Since I took over this department, there's been a 60% drop in 00 casualties."

 

Bond: "What do you want? a f***ing medal?"

[Call Billy Bob]

Bond: "Kowloon's over there!"

 

Hip: "We're heading for the new territories."

 

Bond: "Space... the final frontier!"

[seawolfnyy]

Bond: "Kowloon's over there!"

 

Hip: "We're heading for the new territories."

 

Bond: "Space... the final frontier!"

Bond: "These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her 5 year mission, to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new lifeforms and new civilizations. To boldly go, where no man has gone before."

 

Hip: "I didn't know you were a Trekkie.!"

 

Bond: (raises hand in Vulcan salute) "Live long and prosper."

[The Dove]

Silva: " I win...What do you say to that? "

 

Bond: " *sigh* Looks like I just lost another one! "

[seawolfnyy]

Silva: "Interrupt spy transmissions from a spy satellite over Kabul? Done. Rig an election in Uganda, all to the highest bidder."

 

Bond: "Or hack a major movie studio."

[thecasinoroyale]

Silva: "You know what it does to you, hydrogen cyanide?"

 

M: "Do I look like I give a damn?"

 

Bond gives a wry smirk.

[Call Billy Bob]

Blofeld: "Merry Christmas, 007!"

 

Bond: "I'm Sir Hilary Bray..."

 

Blofeld: "You honestly think I'm that stupid?!? I met you in Japan for crying out loud! Even though this script fails to acknowledge the fact..."

[The Dove]

Bond: "Perhaps you could send up my tailor and some food.."

 

Mr. Chang: " Sorry Mr. Bond, the kitchen stopped serving at 9:30.. There is a KFC around the corner if you like! "