42 replies to this topic

[Vanya86]

...... Chuck style!
Just a little pointless fun, I wondered what we'd end up with if we renamed all the Bond films in the style of the TV series Chuck. For those unfamiliar every episode is entitled Chuck Vs ..., but doesn't take the obvious route like the villains name or anything.

I'll start us out with:
Dr. No: Bond Vs the Dragon

Edited by Vanya86, 07 December 2008 - 01:10 AM.

[Jose]

Does it have to be in the order the films were released?
If not,

Casino Royale: Bond vs the Knotted Rope of Doom

[sorking]

Octopussy: Bond Vs...um, who was it? Not Octopussy in the end, even though Magda's apparently a henchwoman for Kahn. General Orlov? No that doesn't sound right, despite that big bomb thing. So Kamal Kahn, then. Yes, I'm sure that's correct...

Actually, what the hell was that movie actually about?

[Mr. Blofeld]

You Only Live Twice: Bond vs. the Volcano
Diamonds Are Forever: Bond vs. Howard Hughes
Live and Let Die: Bond vs. Black People
The Man with the Golden Gun: Bond vs. the Third Nipple
The Spy Who Loved Me: Bond vs. Who Knows?
Moonraker: Bond vs. Who Cares?
For Your Eyes Only: Bond vs. Blofeld... no, wait, make that Gonzales... no, sorry, Locque... no, Columbo... no, Kris-- oh, who gives a crap?
A View to a Kill: Bond vs. the Hindenburg

[Joey Bond]

http://debrief.comma...showtopic=49158
Scroll down almost halfway

[HildebrandRarity]

Dr No - CR....rename them Live And Let Die to Live and Let Die 21

Q0S...rename to Die Another Day.

[Publius]

This won't end well...

Anyway,

Diamonds Are Forever - Bond vs. Fleming
A View to a Kill - Bond vs. mandatory retirement
The World is not Enough - Bond vs. his forever tormented black soul and the cruel world that's out to get him
Die Another Day - Bond vs. all five of your senses, plus a few other ones you didn't know you had

[Vanya86]

You've got some good ones there Mr Blofeld, loved your TMWTGG.
I'm also adding From Russia With Love: Bond vs the Garotte.

Octopussy: Bond Vs...um, who was it? Not Octopussy in the end, even though Magda's apparently a henchwoman for Kahn. General Orlov? No that doesn't sound right, despite that big bomb thing. So Kamal Kahn, then. Yes, I'm sure that's correct...

Actually, what the hell was that movie actually about?

It doesn't have to be the villain, just something from the film. For Octopussy I'd have gone for Bond Vs the Circus

http://debrief.comma...showtopic=49158
Scroll down almost halfway

Those wacky Thais, what will they come up with next. Bad Tiger indeed.

I think it will end OK as long as people join in and remember its just for fun, not somewhere to air their grievances with the films.

So right now we have:

Dr. No: Bond Vs the Dragon
From Russia With Love: Bond vs the Garotte

You Only Live Twice: Bond Vs the Volcano

The Man With the Golden Gun: Bond Vs the Third Nipple

Octopussy: Bond Vs the Circus
A View To A Kill: Bond Vs the Hindenburg

Casino Royale: Bond Vs the Knotted Rope

Anyone want to take a stab a Goldfinger?

[Mr. Blofeld]

Goldfinger: Bond vs. the Flying Hatmobile
Thunderball: Bond vs. a Pirate and a Drag Queen
Die Another Day: Bond vs. CGI
The World is Not Enough: Bond vs. the Buzzsawing Helicopter
Tomorrow Never Dies: Bond vs. the Carpark
GoldenEye: Bond vs. a Good Squeeze

[Jose]

OHMSS: Bond vs the Avalanche of Death!

[Double-Oh Agent]

DN -- Bond vs. The Man With Metal Hands OR Bond vs. The Man With No Name
FRWL -- Bond vs. The Master Planner
G -- Bond vs. The Gold Fiend
T -- Bond vs. The Nuclear Pirate
YOLT -- Bond vs. The Man With The Cat
OHMSS -- Bond vs. The Count
DAF -- Bond vs. The Diamond Smugglers OR Bond vs. The Gay Men
LALD -- Bond vs. Voodoo OR Bond vs. The Voodoo King
TMWTGG -- Bond vs. The Million-Dollar Assassin
TSWLM -- Bond vs. The Giant
M -- Bond vs. The Space Man
FYEO -- Bond vs. The Double Agent
O -- Bond vs. The Renegade Russian
NSNA -- Bond vs. The Extortionists
AVTAK -- Bond vs. The Steroid Freak
TLD -- Bond vs. The Scheming Defector
LTK -- Bond vs. The Drug Kingpin
G/E -- Bond vs. A Double-Oh
TND -- Bond vs. The Media Baron
TWINE -- Bond vs. The Oil Heiress OR Bond vs. The Anarchist
DAD -- Bond vs. The Man With Two Faces
CR -- Bond vs. The Blood Weeper
QOS -- Bond vs. The Environmentalist

[Joey Bond]

Casino Royale: 2 hour+ long Sony ad

[ComplimentsOfSharky]

DAD- Piercy Brozzer and the Bellybutton of Ice

[HildebrandRarity]

FRWL ... 007 vs the man with a pussy
TB ..... 007 vs the man with a pussy II
YOLT ... 007 vs the man with a pussy III
OHMSS... 007 vs the man with a pussy 4
DAF .... 007 vs two men with two pussies
FYEO.... Bond kills a man with a pussy

[DamnCoffee]

Octopussy - 007 vs a woman with one pussy.

[Trey]

A View to a Kill:
Grumpy Old Men

[Double-Oh Agent]

Octopussy - 007 vs a woman with one pussy.

Or is that eight pussies?

[Joey Bond]

Casino Royale '67= Austin Powers: The Prequel

[Forward Look]

LTK = Miami Vice Bond

[sorking]

You've got some good ones there Mr Blofeld, loved your TMWTGG.
I'm also adding From Russia With Love: Bond vs the Garotte.

Octopussy: Bond Vs...um, who was it? Not Octopussy in the end, even though Magda's apparently a henchwoman for Kahn. General Orlov? No that doesn't sound right, despite that big bomb thing. So Kamal Kahn, then. Yes, I'm sure that's correct...

Actually, what the hell was that movie actually about?

It doesn't have to be the villain, just something from the film. For Octopussy I'd have gone for Bond Vs the Circus

See, I was going for a little joke about the movie.

But then, if you have to explain the joke...

http://debrief.comma...showtopic=49158
Scroll down almost halfway

Those wacky Thais, what will they come up with next. Bad Tiger indeed.

I think it will end OK as long as people join in and remember its just for fun, not somewhere to air their grievances with the films.

I hang my head in shame for my unreasonable writing of a jokey post. What was I thinking?

[Forward Look]

QOS - Bond vs The Corporate Shill

[Jose]

Thunderball: Bond Vs the Spearguns of Doom!

(I'm going to keep adding "of Doom" or "of Death" or whatever until I get bored of doing so)

[Blonde Bond]

Moonraker - 007 in What Will They Think of Next?
Die Another Day - 007 in Trying To Impress The Moonraker Crowd
A View to A Kill - 007 in Search of The Lost Hearing Piece
Dr. No - 007 in Do I really look like Ho to You? or 007 versus The Immorale Doctor Yu Ho

[Professor Pi]

007 in Jamaica
007 on the Orient Express
007 in Fort Knox
007 in Nassau
007 in Japan
007 in The Swiss Alps
007 in Las Vegas
007 in the Bayou (and New York!)
007 in Thailand
007 in Egypt
007 in space (no really)
007 in Greece
007 in India
007 in San Francisco
007 in Berlin and Afghanistan
007 in Isthmus (we know it's really Mexico)
007 in St. Petersberg and Puerto Rico
007 in Hamburg and Thailand again
007 in Christmas
007 in Korea, no wait-China, no! Cuba, I mean Iceland, oh hell, Korea!
007 in good second adaptation
007 in Italy again, London, Haiti, Austria, Italy!!!, Chile as Bolivia, & Russia
007 in Thunderball again
007 in bad first adaptation

007 in Bond 23!

[Judo chop]

YOLT: Bond vs. His Alarm Clock

OP: Bond vs. Animal Planet

MTWGG: Bond tag teams with children vs. Midgets, the Very Obese, Two Different Groins, Mannequins, and Women!
(Not all at once, thank heavens.)

[HildebrandRarity]

007 in Christmas

[danielcraigisjamesbond007]

Bond vs. the Steel Fisted Man
Bond vs. The Iron Curtain(???)
Bond vs. King Midas
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part I (or the Man with the Eyepatch)
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part II (or the Bald headed man)
Bond vs. The Angels of Death
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part III (or the Diamond Thieves(???))
Bond vs. the Poppy fields
Bond vs. the Hitman
Bond vs. the steel toothed man
Bond vs. the steel toothed man part II
Bond vs. ???
Bond vs. the Prince
Bond vs. the Industrialist
Bond vs. the Heroin Smugglers
Bond vs. the Drug lord
Bond vs. the Giant Satellite
Bond vs. The News Maniac
Bond vs. The Deceptive Woman
Bond vs. The Giant Space Laser (or CGI)
Bond vs. The Card Shark
Bond vs. The Sinister Organisation (or QUANTUM)

Edited by danielcraigisjamesbond007, 31 January 2009 - 08:21 PM.

[Cilogy]

In order of movie release, some are funny, some just make sense, some don't:

Bond vs. The Spider
Bond vs. The Train
Bond vs. The Laser
Bond vs. The Sharks
Bond vs. The Volcano
Bond vs. The Kilt
Bond vs. The Poor Editing
Bond vs. The Alligators
Bond vs. The Midget
Bond vs. The Metal Teeth
Bond vs. The Space Station
Bond vs. The Parrot
Bond vs. The Octopus
Bond vs. The Retirement (NSNA)
Bond vs. The Horse
Bond vs. The Plane
Bond vs. The License
Bond vs. The Thighs
Bond vs. The Media
Bond vs. The Chair
Bond vs. The Ice Palace
Bond vs. The Martini
Bond vs. Himself

[ACE]

SPE and Universal are to combine international spy thrillers and create a new, modern update to the classic series of 007 thrillers. The new series will feature all the classic elements of Bond with the high-octane immediacy of Bourne.

They present the Jason Bond series...

Jason Bond I - The Roseate Disruption
Jason Bond II - The Krilencu Deception
Jason Bond III - The Masterson Meltdown
Jason Bond IV - The Domino Dilemma
Jason Bond V - The Tanaka Imperative
Jason Bond VI - The Blofeld Snobbery
Jason Bond VII - The Baja Beneficiary
Jason Bond VIII - The Kananga Commitment
Jason Bond IX - The Scaramanga Competition
Jason Bond X - The Stromberg Annihilation
Jason Bond XI - The Genesis Reversal
Jason Bond XII - The Kristatos Conspiracy
Jason Bond XIII - The Octopussy Orthodoxy
Jason Bond XIV - The Silicon Domination
Jason Bond XV - The Afganistan Confusion
Jason Bond XVI - The Leiter Motivation
Jason Bond XVII - The Goldeneye Visionary
Jason Bond XVIII - The Beijing Abomination
Jason Bond XIX - The Elektra Collusion
Jason Bond XX - The Icarus Agenda
Jason Bond XXI - The Montenegro Munificence
Jason Bond XXII - The Panama Pretension
Jason Bond XXIII - The Hildebrand Rarity

Separately connected will be Sir Sean Connery's comeback film

Jason Bond: The McClory Retention

[danielcraigisjamesbond007]

Bond vs. the Steel Fisted Man
Bond vs. The Iron Curtain(???)
Bond vs. King Midas
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part I (or the Man with the Eyepatch)
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part II (or the Bald headed man)
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part III (or the Angels of Death )
Bond vs. SPECTRE Part IV (or the Diamond Thieves(???))
Bond vs. the Poppy fields
Bond vs. the Hitman
Bond vs. the steel toothed man
Bond vs. the steel toothed man part II (or Zero Gravity)
Bond vs. ???
Bond vs. the Prince
Bond vs. the Industrialist
Bond vs. the Heroin Smugglers
Bond vs. the Drug lord
Bond vs. the Giant Satellite
Bond vs. The News Maniac
Bond vs. The Deceptive Woman
Bond vs. The Giant Space Laser (or CGI)
Bond vs. The Card Shark (or QUANTUM Part I)
Bond vs. The Sinister Organisation (or QUANTUM Part II)

Just thought of this one for QoS: Bond vs. the Seizure Inducing Editing

Edited by danielcraigisjamesbond007, 17 February 2009 - 05:55 PM.