41 replies to this topic

[ImTheMoneypenny]

Just finished! Yes Chapter 9 a very bloody prospect for Bond. I put on my CR soundtrack and kept reading to figure out how they'd make it out.

A great yarn altogether! Well done! Thanks for posting it for us all!

[MkB]

Thanks for reading ImTheMoneypenny! It's nice to have some feedback
And putting the CR soundtrack on chapter 9 sounds like a bloody good idea! I'll try that!

[MkB]

Found this piece of news today:
http://news.bbc.co.u...ent/7701614.stm
and oddly enough I though about chapter 9 of The Mercurius Affair. It can shed a new light on the torture scene:

Spoiler

Fokin and/or his henchman may have been operating in the region, where they may have heard about the Wallace story, and maybe experiment this ghastly method of execution...

(twisted mind, I know, I know...)

[MkB]

I've just read an article about "Nato's cyber defence warriors":
http://news.bbc.co.u...ope/7851292.stm

Quoting one of the NATO cyber intelligence experts:

"The gravest cyber threat to Nato is somebody altering the data without our knowing about it and finding out too late in the action."
Chris Evis
Incident Management Section, Nato

* whistles innocently *

Doesn't it ring a bell to the (couple of) guys who've read The Mercurius Affair?

[Harry Fawkes]

I've just read an article about "Nato's cyber defence warriors":
http://news.bbc.co.u...ope/7851292.stm

Quoting one of the NATO cyber intelligence experts:

"The gravest cyber threat to Nato is somebody altering the data without our knowing about it and finding out too late in the action."
Chris Evis
Incident Management Section, Nato

* whistles innocently *

Doesn't it ring a bell to the (couple of) guys who've read The Mercurius Affair?

MkB a terorrist

[chrisno1]

While not averse to resurrecting old threads, I recently read The Mercurius Affair on fanfiction.net and wrote a review of it for another site. I corresponded with Mkb regarding the piece and was forwarded onto this thread.
I must say I was rather surprised. I wondered if I'd misunderstood the novella as my impressions were substantially different to those featured here. However, as my review has been read by the author, I thought I'd resubmit it here:

THE MERCURIUS AFFAIR is a short story of some interest. Bond is in Prague and Budapest attempting to unravel the mystery behind the murder of two top computer scientists.

The story ebbs and flows and contains all the correct ingredients for a Bond recipe, yet something is lacking. The brevity of the piece is certainly an issue. A lot of ground is covered in less than 17000 words and at times I wanted the pace of the story to slow down and allow the people and situations to come alive.

Mkb, the pen name of our author, has designed a modern story with a traditional hero. There is nothing modern about this James Bond, a white knight in disguise, a man whose interests are carnal and whose method is clinically efficient. While Bond enjoys his food and wine and women, I never felt this was man who observes and absorbs his surroundings. This was an almost robotic 007, a man whose injuries do not prevent him from continuing his work, a man who casts friends and victims aside, an obsessive who never looks back.

That he is almost undone comes as no surprise, for here Bond is so entirely certain of success he embarks on an affair with a female code-breaker, Sara Kiss, a woman he ought to be spending more time actively protecting rather than romancing. Their relationship has overtones of Bond and Kara’s from the movie The Living Daylights, where Bond’s macho posturing is offset by her girly naivety. Their constant flirtatious banter was hard to digest and sent the story spiraling into pastiche when it should have been driven into reality.

For here James Bond is combating a very real threat: one of cyber-viruses developed to infiltrate bank accounts and commit digital theft. This has the hallmarks of a well-constructed Goldfinger update; it genuinely brings the idea of grand heist up to date. The nominal villain (one among many) is the sophisticate Maxim Fokin and he is smooth and sleek, as you’d expect a twenty-first century tycoon to be. He’s no fool and recognizes that true power lies with the economists. It is a pity Fokin isn’t allowed to pontificate more, because there is a ring of truth to his thesis which needs exploring. As it stands, his finale is swift and bloody and lacks tension.

Indeed the story does feel shorn of suspense. Early on we are treated to a second person narrative as Bond recaps the mission. This is quite a condensed passage and while it provides the reader with a rapid update, it also deserved more attention. Quite simply, Bond’s tussle with the Albanian Mafia hoods is more exciting than anything in the story proper. The author also spends time explaining how the two scientists died and this too is succinct, yet seems to have deeper significance to our steely James Bond – he had once been the lover of the female victim. Bond’s memory of that fleeting affair is one of the few times the author gives us an insight into 007, one of the few times he looks at his past rather than to his purposefully grey future, and it’s both rewarding and grimly understated. Fleming, I feel, would have enjoyed and understood the bleak bareness of the brief liaison.

The Mercurious Affair isn’t a failure, but it feels much too compact. The characters need more development and the plot strands and episodes expanding. Despite all that it has a familiar feel: you always feel slightly at home reading some of the cheesy lines and imagining your favourite 007 delivering them. As Fan Fiction, it probably approaches and delivers its product in the right spirit and you can’t say much against that.

Edited by chrisno1, 22 November 2011 - 02:14 PM.

[MkB]

It seems that a forum update or another swallowed the original post containing The Mercurius Affair. Sympathizing with the millions of distressed fans I have just reposted the story as a reply in the original thread, for your (possible) enjoyment! 

 

The Mercurius Affair

[Harry Fawkes]

Ah, yes The Mercurius Affair.

 

A Bond Fan Fic novel I simply adored; And it has nothing to do with the fact that I met MkB personally a couple of years ago - the only CBn member I've ever met in my life in fact (and indeed a most pleasant meeting I must say with the Grand Harbor of Valletta as a very magical backdrop to our very brief but wonderful meeting).

 

No.

 

This is truly one of my best Fan Fics out there.The prose and plot are cool and very smooth, but, like all Bond novels - moves like an incoming bullet: sharp, fast and with exciting force.

 

I like this version of Bond. Yes, to an extent, I imagine Tim Dalton as MkB's Bond (although I think she probably had Pierce in her mind when she was typing away) in that he is romantic but dangerous, with the devil's streak to him. Well...

 

This is truly going to be worth a re-visit while a take a short break from writing my own Fan Fic conclusion.

 

5 Stars and no less.

 

Mind you, I only wish MkB would regal us with at least one more piece like this one. 

 

Come on mon ami surely it's about time! 

[MkB]

Ouch, I've neglected this thread for so long

 

 

@ chrisno1

I'm sorry you did not enjoy it so much, but yet you point many interesting things in your review! I haven't re-read my old story in quite a while, but I'll try to muster my thoughts anyway. 

I have failed, big time, if you felt that "This was an almost robotic 007, a man whose injuries do not prevent him from continuing his work, a man who casts friends and victims aside, an obsessive who never looks back". My intention was to depict a troubled 007, clinging to his work as the only thing he can do properly in life to avoid drowning in a glass of vodka. He can't keep a lover, he can't protect his friends, all he can offer is blood for blood. If he does not desperately stick to this steely idea of himself, he'll simply fall to pieces. Perhaps the format, indeed, is a problem, and I failed to develop that character properly in a shortish novella. 

I'm glad you caught the Goldfinger reference in Fokin - I don't remember exactly, but I think I put a parodic line in his mouth - the same line Goldfinger used about gold, but applied to coal. 

 

 

@Harry Fawkes

 

Ah dear, how would I forget a midnight rendezvous with the legendary Harry Fawkes in balmy Valletta?

 

I agree that Dalton's Bond is a good candidate in The Mercurius Affair, and it's interesting you think I had BrosnanBond in mind. It is probably true of the first chapter. I wrote it first, as a single standalone piece, and it's only some weeks after if memory serves that I decided it was a funny hobby and tried to develop it in a fuller story. At this point, I did not have a particular cinema-Bond in mind, and I was trying to express my own idiosyncratic view of Bond, a patchwork made of bits of FlemingBond, bits of FilmBond, and also, oddly, bits of fanficBond. 

[Dustin]

So now I've finally read THE MERCURIOUS AFFAIR and I thoroughly enjoyed the ride! It's a surprisingly successful amalgamation of Fleming/book-Bond and post-GOLDENEYE film-Bond, and even though I don't think these two worlds gel well this piece handles the task quite fine.

 

That said I have to agree with chrisno1, this novella would deserve some expanding and fleshing out of parts. The start of Bond's operation would make a fine in-medias-res sequence, perhaps ending with Bond noticing a squishy feeling when his blood soils Slesinger's car seats? In contrast some of the exposition in the first chapter could be cut back and spread in thin slices over a longer stretch. What I absolutely loved was the romance between Bond and Sára, convincing and natural in spite of the fact we all know where it's going to lead, splendid!

 

Some things I would have liked different. Bond suspects something fishy after his initial mission but doesn't act on it; I'd have preferred him to be a little more active there. Also some more cat-and-mouse between Bond and Fokin would be most welcome, especially if it provides the latter with a chance to tell his own story and explain his scheme. Finally the rescue comes a tad too easy in relation to the horrors described in chapter 9. But given the intended sequence of events - '...the first cut is the deepest...' - the cavalry can hardly show up much later...

 

All in all a thoroughly entertaining piece; Kudos to you, MkB! 

[MkB]

Dustin, I am truly happy you enjoyed it!

 

I can only agree with the flaws you mention. Regarding the exposition in ch. 1, I guess it comes from the fact that I initially thought of it as a standalone piece of the classic Bond-brooding-over-booze genre. I probably would have done things differently if I had thought of a longer novella from the beginning. But well, if I had thought of a novella from the beginnig, being a very slow writer, I would probably have been overwhelmed and quit

 

You also touch on something I remember as a major difficulty: the traditional structure of a Bond novel asks for Bond being captured by the Villain. But actually, it's quite difficult to make this happen without making Bond look like a total dummy! I remember I really had a hard time coming up with a possible way.

I also would have preferred Bond to get out of the situation by himself, but really I was at my wits' end to make him save himself from the situation in which I had put him. The best I could come up with was to make Bond instrumental to his own rescue: if the cavalry can come at all, it's because he's reported on time (OK, not very typical Bond, but well...)

 

As for the timing of the cavalry rescue, as you point out, err... 'twas about time!  I was really keen on using the Scottish-themed torture, and I wanted to stick to historical truth (for those who might be wondering, Fokin's little medieval history lecture in the barge is accurate). The historical order of events in the process being what it was, I did not have much of a choice but call the cavalry. Although, even before any torture starts, poor Bond was already in a sorry state, wasn't he? I hoped it would introduce the Flemingesque post-assignment recovery time. 

 

I'm particularly glad you liked the bits between Bond and Sára. At the moment of writing, I remember I felt that there was much of myself (or at least my own style of communictaion in real life) in the dalogues. I realize it might sound slightly appalling, since they're also a sor of parody of MooreBond dialogues... I haven't re-read that in quite a while, I should check it again and see if I still feel so.

[Dustin]

Dustin, I am truly happy you enjoyed it!

Very much so!

 

I can only agree with the flaws you mention. Regarding the exposition in ch. 1, I guess it comes from the fact that I initially thought of it as a standalone piece of the classic Bond-brooding-over-booze genre. I probably would have done things differently if I had thought of a longer novella from the beginning. But well, if I had thought of a novella from the beginnig, being a very slow writer, I would probably have been overwhelmed and quit

 

I suppose the trick is not to think of the whole piece and concentrate only on the chapter at hand. It's a bit like marathon running, nobody can go the whole distance without going through some step-by-step training first.     

 

 

You also touch on something I remember as a major difficulty: the traditional structure of a Bond novel asks for Bond being captured by the Villain. But actually, it's quite difficult to make this happen without making Bond look like a total dummy! I remember I really had a hard time coming up with a possible way.

I also would have preferred Bond to get out of the situation by himself, but really I was at my wits' end to make him save himself from the situation in which I had put him. The best I could come up with was to make Bond instrumental to his own rescue: if the cavalry can come at all, it's because he's reported on time (OK, not very typical Bond, but well...)

 

As for the timing of the cavalry rescue, as you point out, err... 'twas about time!  I was really keen on using the Scottish-themed torture, and I wanted to stick to historical truth (for those who might be wondering, Fokin's little medieval history lecture in the barge is accurate). The historical order of events in the process being what it was, I did not have much of a choice but call the cavalry. Although, even before any torture starts, poor Bond was already in a sorry state, wasn't he? I hoped it would introduce the Flemingesque post-assignment recovery time. 

 

That was a very vital part there, Bond having no option left but to endure whatever comes his way; strong stuff I particularly liked.

 

 

I'm particularly glad you liked the bits between Bond and Sára. At the moment of writing, I remember I felt that there was much of myself (or at least my own style of communictaion in real life) in the dalogues. I realize it might sound slightly appalling, since they're also a sor of parody of MooreBond dialogues... I haven't re-read that in quite a while, I should check it again and see if I still feel so.

 

The dialogue is indeed somewhat reminiscent of Moore/Brosnan, slightly on the cheesy side. But the basic chemistry between Bond and Sára is what works and makes the affair of the two natural and convincing. She is a woman who's endured her own hard times and now lives 'carpe diem'. Not the whole time and not without care for the realities of her everyday life. But the romance here has nothing of the forced way in which women often end up in Bond's arms.