241 replies to this topic

[Mister Asterix]

[quote name='dodge' post='722790' date='4 April 2007 - 13:52'][quote name='Mister Asterix' post='722789' date='4 April 2007 - 18:45'][mra]A picture of the first actor to play

[Santa]

You'd be better off making a pit stop one night to check on your emissions.

I think you could do with a quick check on your own emissions (See, how I used the 'quote' button just to please you?)

[dodge]

You'd be better off making a pit stop one night to check on your emissions.

I think you could do with a quick check on your own emissions (See, how I used the 'quote' button just to please you?)

My emissions have been checked and are highly recommended by those who've had the good fortune to check them.

[MHazard]

Why, Zorin, I live to surprise and delight you. I can only echo Telly in my beloved OHMSS: The thoughts of great minds often confound lesser minds.

Yes, but remember Telly was fooled by Laz wearing glasses and a kilt (maybe it was the Sir Hilary voice that sounded nothing like 007).

[dodge]

Quoting MHazard quoting Dodge:
Why, Zorin, I live to surprise and delight you. I can only echo Telly in my beloved OHMSS: The thoughts of great minds often confound lesser minds.
Yes, but remember Telly was fooled by Laz wearing glasses and a kilt (maybe it was the Sir Hilary voice that sounded nothing like 007).

Now, there is an honestly witty response. I'm too pleased to point out that all the Zorinizing in the world can't change the order of my list. The number of letters in each name remains. But why should I argue when I feel so charmed?

[dodge]

The Burt Reynolds pass: On being offered the Bond role in the 70s source: IMDb):

"Sean Connery had said he wanted more money...and Cubby Broccoli came to visit me and said, 'I want you to play James Bond.' And I said, in my infinite wisdom, 'An American can't play James Bond. It just can't be done.' Now,in the middle of the night, you hear me wake up in this cold sweat going, Bond, James Bond!'"

[00Twelve]

Starved for more about Parkour, the free running style that leads off CR? Check out a little gem on DVD called District 13, or Banlieue 13 in French. David Belle, the star, actually founded parkour and the film contains 2 extended parkour sequences that blow CR's away. You can also research him on Google. Absolutely amazing athlete. And a chance for you to see parkour in more awesome detail.

Second! The free-running stuff is tremendous - the opening sequence has to be watched a couple of times to truly appreciate (it's on youtube if anyone's interested). For the life of me, I swore I remember Martin Campbell acknowledging the movie in an interview somewhere, which if true is a nice bit of creative honesty on the part of the director.

So talking of running - I never remember SC flat out running in any of his appearances. At most it's this strange half-gallop, almost as if he's too cool to run flat-out. DC and PB, they don't think twice about sprinting and Sir Rog, well, at least he's having a go. But was SC too cool to actually be in a situation where he went all out.

Enlighten me! (And I'm not counting Bob Simmons doing his running for him - I mean SC himself).

Sorry, I wish I could give you some insight into Parkour, but I only wanted to say that I think Sean kind of busted out a full-on run when dodging the chopper in FRWL. Maybe?

[plankattack]

Starved for more about Parkour, the free running style that leads off CR? Check out a little gem on DVD called District 13, or Banlieue 13 in French. David Belle, the star, actually founded parkour and the film contains 2 extended parkour sequences that blow CR's away. You can also research him on Google. Absolutely amazing athlete. And a chance for you to see parkour in more awesome detail.

Second! The free-running stuff is tremendous - the opening sequence has to be watched a couple of times to truly appreciate (it's on youtube if anyone's interested). For the life of me, I swore I remember Martin Campbell acknowledging the movie in an interview somewhere, which if true is a nice bit of creative honesty on the part of the director.

So talking of running - I never remember SC flat out running in any of his appearances. At most it's this strange half-gallop, almost as if he's too cool to run flat-out. DC and PB, they don't think twice about sprinting and Sir Rog, well, at least he's having a go. But was SC too cool to actually be in a situation where he went all out.

Enlighten me! (And I'm not counting Bob Simmons doing his running for him - I mean SC himself).

Sorry, I wish I could give you some insight into Parkour, but I only wanted to say that I think Sean kind of busted out a full-on run when dodging the chopper in FRWL. Maybe?

Twelve, I think you might be right. But there was a lot of weaving and bobbing, unlike say Brozz at the caviar factory in TWINE or TD in TLD. I just don't remember SC bringing himself to pumping those arms and going flat-out like DC at Miami Airport. Someone did mention this gangling, lollop (I have no idea what that means, but it fits to me) where he took big strides and almost glided along.

Why run, when you can walk?

[dodge]

The Gemini Connection

Thanks to the warm response to the numerological postings, here's an astological Ian Fleming--and Bond as his alter ego. And I dedicate this to Zorin.

Gemini traits:
Sign of the Twins/dual nature
Constant changeability
Adaptability to new situations and places
Restlessness, impatience, impulsiveness
Hunger for new lovers
Great Communicators (Fleming)--often able to persuade people to do almost anything (Bond)
Sharp and quick but sometimes superficial, "Jacks of all trades but..."
Lightning quickness in action

Famous Geminis:
Clint Eastwood, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Laurence Olivier, John Wayne, Paul McCartney, Prince, Bob Dylan, Ian Fleming, Joe Namath, Joe Montana, John F Kennedy

Edited by dodge, 05 April 2007 - 02:06 PM.

[MHazard]

I wasn't sure where to post this, but I thought the flexible subject matter of this thread made it appropriate. I was reading Thrilling Cities for the first time last night and when I read 007 in New York, which I had only read once before (in the Octopussy collection) I discovered that the name of the girl Bond is planning on hooking up with after his mission is completed is Solange. I never made the connection before because I first read the story months before CR came out. It made me feel better about future movies to know that at least one of the screenwriters for CR had read the rather obscure 007 in New York and used it for a character name. Also, on another topic (Dodge's), do we actually know from any of the novels/stories what Bond's birthday is or are we just assuming it's the same as Flemming's? As Flemming has maintained he and Bond do not have all the same attributes is this a reasonable inference?

[dodge]

Connery's voted the worst of all time--i.e., worst screen accent in film history. Source: bbc.co.uk, 06/30/03, citing Empire magazine.

Role: Irish cop in The Untouchables.

But Empire went on: "Whether he's a Russian submarine captain or even an English king, always the baritone Highland burr remains."

Runners up for all-time worst included: Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, Bratt Pitt in Seven Years in Tibet...and Laurence Olivier in The Jazz Singer remake.

[dodge]

Fleming's spanking fetish? Source: smh.com.au, 11/25/06, "Will the real James Bond please stand up?" by Dan Kaufman:


"Fleming was known to have s spanking fetish and in almost every novel Bond tells a girl (usually one with a masculine and muscular derriere) that he wants to spank her."

Is this true? It's been a good while since I've read 'em.

[Santa]

There's nothing wrong with a good spanking

[dodge]

There's nothing wrong with a good spanking

I agree. But some cruel people take it too far and talk about spanking their monkeys. What a mixed-up world we live in. Thank God we can come to this Web site for sense!

[Santa]

I apologise for that comment. I apologise for myself.

[dodge]

I apologise for that comment. I apologise for myself.

There's no need to apologise. We're all just making merry.

[Santa]

Some of us are waaaaaaay too merry

[dodge]

FLEMING'S LAST WORDS. Source: IMDb.

To the ambulance attendants: "Awfully sorry to trouble you chaps."

[dodge]

DIAMOND WILLY: SHIRLEY BASSEY'S X-RATED SECRET. (Source: Wikipedia)

The DAF theme song wasn't working and Harry Saltzman hated it. Wait...Wait...An idea!
He whispered into Bassey's ear. And Shirley, ever the trouper obliged. She re-sang the title song...this time as if to a penis.

Small wonder the tune is so dear to us all.

[ACE]

You cats on this thread are ker-racy!

Right, roll up ladeez and gennelmen, I shall attempt to amaze and astound you with my amazing Bondatron.

If you'd all please give a silver dollar to my lovely assistant, Ms Terious, I shall insert some facts in the machine.

(Fire her up, Hawkings)

Spy Who Loved Me
Lotus Esprit
Sardinia
Going into the water.

------dOWEOEEEOWOEOWEOEOOWEOW ========
!

[dodge]

THERE'S A STUDY ABOUT JAMES BOND'S PENIS. (Source: Film and History, 34.1, 2004, pp82-83...or go to Google, key words Bond + penis...2nd entry under David Lancaster)

Tony Miller, author of A Short History of the Penis (on my life, this is true) has written an article entitled "James Bond's Penis". It's included in The James Bond Phenomenon: A Critical Reader, ed. by Christoph Lindner, Manchester University Prees, 2003, $74.95.


And...on Google there are 1,210,200 hits for the keywords Bond + Penis.

Just thought you'd like to know.

[ACE]

Hmmm. Well done, dodge.

He has a powerful weapon, indeed. Bond's penis is hardly virginal. Is that why he's called 007?
Actually, The James Bond Phenomenon A Critical Reader by Christopher Lindneris a very informative collection of essays. The piece in question is the usual bit of socialogical tomfoolery but good nonetheless.

Deborah Lipp also discusses Bond's appendage in the excellent The Ultimate James Bond Fan Book.

And now, please place some more amazing factoids in the muzzle of the Bondatron. Ms Terious, if you please. Hawkings, step to it - settle down there at the back, ladeez and gennelmen, boys and girls, m'luds and m'ladies.

Casino Royale
Ian Fleming
Sean Connery
Never Say Never Again

------dOWEOEEEOWOEOWEOEOOWEOW ========
!

[Safari Suit]

DIAMOND WILLY: SHIRLEY BASSEY'S X-RATED SECRET. (Source: Wikipedia)

The DAF theme song wasn't working and Harry Saltzman hated it. Wait...Wait...An idea!
He whispered into Bassey's ear. And Shirley, ever the trouper obliged. She re-sang the title song...this time as if to a penis.

Small wonder the tune is so dear to us all.

I think she's quite keen to distance herself from that rumour though.

[Santa]

Freaks.

[dodge]

Freaks.

Nothing of the sort. We're just members who care about members.

[ACE]

Freaks.

Nothing of the sort. We're just members who care about members.

Yes. As our hero said, "There's no point in going off half-cocked!!"

[Santa]

Er, OK. I'll try to remember that. Oh God, now you're making me do it too...

[plankattack]

I'm away for a day only to return to my new favourite thread and discover that genitalia have popped up everywhere. Dodge and Santa playing in the sand goodness me whatever next?

ACE, what a great machine, spitting out all manner of trivia (insert your own genitalia joke here). The Lotus breaking up. Did not know that - another iconic Bond visual coming around almost by accident. There are others, but I can't think of them right now, so ultimately my re-appearance at Virgin Bond has been completely useless.

Still, this is all great fun.

[ACE]

ACE, what a great machine, spitting out all manner of trivia

Ah, the Bondatron thanks you for swallowing it

Er, OK. I'll try to remember that. Oh God, now you're making me do it too...

I was arrested once for indecent exposure...

...I was let off for lack of evidence! (BOOM BOOM!)

[Head of S]

I was arrested once for indecent exposure...

...I was let off for lack of evidence! (BOOM BOOM!)

So it wouldn't stand up in court?