52 replies to this topic

[DamnCoffee]

"Touch it, stroke it....and undress it"

[Athena007]

"They can stimulate and tease me."

[DamnCoffee]

"nights can be long and sweet"

[Binyamin]

How old are you, Daniel Craig the cool 007, thirteen?

Fourteen maybe?

Seriously, this is your third or fourth post where you obsess about graphic sex using nonsensical half-sentences.

Fifteen?

Or are you actually Daniel Craig's body double just aching to get some fleshy screen time? Was that actually you in Love Is the Devil?

[TortillaFactory]

It seems Fleming had a thing for unusual fetishes, especially sadomasochism

Given the the fact that fabric stores now sell fuzzy handcuffs on Valentine's Day, I wouldn't classify sadomasochism as "unusual." We know Fleming liked it rough, and can extrapolate that Bond probably does too. Do we really need to see it?

The question's moot, of course, since the producers would never sacrifice the under-17 audience just for the sake of showing some skin. The paradox of Bond is that while he's up to his neck in adults-only stuff, he appeals very much to the kiddies as a side-effect of Fleming's intent (IMHO): that grown-ups would be able to live vicariously through this overgrown teenaged boy.

Fleming's novels have always been and will always be more graphic than the films; it's just easier to portray things delicately in print. Some of the scenes in TMWTGG would have garnered an NC-17 rating if they had been translated to film.

Of course Bond masturbates. Nobody does it better.

Humorous intent notwithstanding, you're right, of course. I forget which Benson interview it was where he theorized that this was untrue, but I think it's utter twaddle.

It's symptomatic of how the film franchise has, in some ways, ruined Fleming's Bond forever. There is nothing extraordinary about him in the books, and no reason to believe he's not like any other guy who just happens to have adventures and a cruel streak. The films made him superhuman. Sure, they're fun, but they're not really Bond. Though I like to think they'd give him a good laugh.

Maybe 'Q' would make Bond a "Vodka Martini, Shaken not Stirred" flavoured condom.

Why? Surely Bond's not the one tasting them. And anyway, couldn't you just dip a regular condom in rubbing alcohol to have the same basic effect?

Y'know, I never realised that that was what it was. I thought it was just the usual Brosnan facial contortions and strange wheezing and grunting.

Very funny, Loom. I actually didn't notice it the first time I saw the film; I've since forced myself to watch the scene several times, despite the emotional trauma associated with hearing "they feast...like there's no tomorrow." I still can't pinpoint the exact moment, as it were, but I do see that's what they were implying. Chillingly unsexy scene, though. Halle Berry appears to be riding a horse.

coz i read those stuff somewhere in a magazine a few years back

Yeah, so did the rest of us, and it was only marginally amusing then. The contention that Bond doesn't actually have sex isn't meant to be taken seriously; it's just poking fun at film censorship. The question's ultimately an uncompelling one. Why doesn't Bond have or do [thing]? He does, of course, we just don't get to see it.

[Daniel Craig the cool 007]

Think we should all go to shrublands(like Connery in Thndrbll) to get a sex cure if such a thing exists on earth

By the way im against masturbation which i view as being immoral even if it is moral...Its maybe the pervert aspect of it that i resent so much!I prefer real skin to skin contact(sex for the initiated ones) to the whole wanking process...Remember folks too much jackng off will result in getting deaf or worse waking up as Mario Bruno(the wanker behind Craignotbond)!So plz folks dont wank...

How old are you, Daniel Craig the cool 007, thirteen?

Fourteen maybe?

Seriously, this is your third or fourth post where you obsess about graphic sex using nonsensical half-sentences.

Fifteen?

Or are you actually Daniel Craig's body double just aching to get some fleshy screen time? Was that actually you in Love Is the Devil?

Im Daniel's 00-7 body!Leave a message at the beep...

[Gri007]

Lol...No for real, why is it not shown or subtly known or suggested?I want graitous sex in 007 flicks(i know that you are gonna say, to go and see pørn if i want sex but i want to see the basic instincts come up on screen of bond instead of Innuendos)I think Craig will be perfect for showing those dark corners of 007

So do Bond and Jinx have a naked flirting session then?

If that ain't full on sex then I'm not to sure what it is.

IMHO I thought that was abit too risky for a 12A, but there 'crack-head Tam-whore-ry' did direct it.

And talking of unusual fetishes, it's about time Bond did some toe sucking.

[DamnCoffee]

yeah and if you listen to Brosnans commentery on DAD he said "Tama-Whore-y" was under the sheets with them

[Jim]

Think we should all go to shrublands(like Connery in Thndrbll) to get a sex cure if such a thing exists on earth

By the way im against masturbation which i view as being immoral even if it is moral...Its maybe the pervert aspect of it that i resent so much!I prefer real skin to skin contact(sex for the initiated ones) to the whole wanking process...Remember folks too much jackng off will result in getting deaf or worse waking up as Mario Bruno(the wanker behind Craignotbond)!So plz folks dont wank...

How old are you, Daniel Craig the cool 007, thirteen?

Fourteen maybe?

Seriously, this is your third or fourth post where you obsess about graphic sex using nonsensical half-sentences.

Fifteen?

Or are you actually Daniel Craig's body double just aching to get some fleshy screen time? Was that actually you in Love Is the Devil?

Im Daniel's 00-7 body!Leave a message at the beep...

Good grief.

[Gri007]

He does have a point though Jim.

You can't beat the real thing (no pun intended)

But on the other hand it is cheaper just to stick tou you're palm and five fingers.

Took me ages to get my end a away with my ex. Driving me ing loopy

[Mister Asterix]

Anyone else think this thread should be closed?

[DamnCoffee]

Why the hell are we discussing Wanking?

[Gri007]

IMHO, we should have a bit more of a steamy love scene, I think there is a big one coming up in CR. It would help portray Bond's character.

[Lazenby880]

Took me ages to get my end a away with my ex. Driving me ing loopy

I fear you have shared rather too much information.

By the way im against masturbation which i view as being immoral even if it is moral...

Interesting logic...

[DamnCoffee]

which i disagree with

[Johnboy007]

Anyone else think this thread should be closed?

It's getting kind of creepy now.

[TortillaFactory]

It's getting kind of creepy now.

Just now?

The topic's not creeping me out nearly as much as the OP's run-on sentences are.

[SirHilary]

And talking of unusual fetishes, it's about time Bond did some toe sucking.

Bond has already done a bit of foot sucking in Thunderball with Domino, so it looks like he's into that.

BTW hilarious thread, especially to us 'initiated ones'!

[Daniel Craig the cool 007]

yeah and if you listen to Brosnans commentery on DAD he said "Tama-Whore-y" was under the sheets with them

Now thats creepy!What Tama-whore Y doing under there..?Maybe he was giving a to pierce or a cunninglingus to Halle or it could be the other way around...Man, i knew that the director's of bond movie had a blast of a time on set but did not realise that it was to that extent...Im directing Bond 22 or lets rather direct bond 23...Anybody got BARB'S or Mickeys mobile num on their phones...?Im kidding but its true that the sex scenes are difficult doing in Bond flicks or/and other movies also...

[Binyamin]

Maybe he was giving a to pierce or a cunninglingus to Halle or it could be the other way around...

NOW it's creepy. Daniel Craig the cool 007, I think I hear your parents calling.

Run along now.

Edited by Binyamin, 05 September 2006 - 08:53 PM.

[TortillaFactory]

I don't know what he's saying, and frankly, I don't care.

As to this thread, it was fun while it lasted, but KILL IT WITH FIRE.

[Double-Oh-Zero]

...Halle Berry appears to be riding a horse.

Well, given the odd noises and grunting Loomy mentioned earlier...hmmm...

I believe I had a hat when I came in...

[Mister Asterix]

As no one is screaming to keep it open, topic closed.