64 replies to this topic

[Bondpurist]

huh?

[IrishCrown]

More signs you're watching a Dalton movie...

1. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (wake up, the movie's almost over)
2. Hey! That's the guy from The Goonies!
3. Hey, isn't she with Richard Gere?
4. My God, she can't act (applied to either Maryam D'Abo or Talisa Soto)
5. Why is he so intense?

[Bondpurist]

1) I would never ever fall asleep in whilst watching a Dalton film. They are far too good.
2)?
3) Richard Gere? Where? Was he in a Bond film?
4) They were both good actresses, especially Maryam D'abo.
5) James Bond is an intense character. So there.

[IrishCrown]

Robert Davi was in The Goonies as the opera singing villain.
Carey Lowell is with Richard Gere now, they have a son together.
"I love James so much" makes me laugh beyond belief. Maryam D'Abo could be Tanya Robert's distant cousin.

[Bondpurist]

OK, so that line was a bit awful. But she didn't write the script, she just read it out. I don't know how you can say that about Maryam. She was a superb actress and bore no resembelance to Roberts. How was she like Sutton? She was strong, didn't scream ridiculously and generally acted really well.

[IrishCrown]

Well, she still did her share of screaming. On the plane near the end was bad. Her screaming, "James!" when he's in the plane and she's in the jeep was pathetic. I still love the look on Dalton's face when he's trying to convince her to drive the damned jeep into the back. It takes her a while to get the picture, and even Dalton's getting frustrated.

[Bondpurist]

Yeah well. She's only a girl. I would be a bit damn frightened if I was about to fly into a cliff. Anyway, if Daltongot annoyed with Kara, a Bond girl, then surely he wasn't that weak with the ladies.

[IrishCrown]

A girl? But not yet a woman? Sorry, a little Titney Spears humor there.

[Bondpurist]

Bond women? I don't think so. Bond girls has a much better ring to it.

[IrishCrown]

Of course it does, but I had to make a bad Britney Spears joke somewhere today, and that moment was it.

[Bondpurist]

Bad and Britney Spears in the same sentence. There's a common occurence.

[IrishCrown]

Poor girl. I guess she'll never get to sing that theme song to a Bond movie after all. She had to settle for Austin Powers.

[Bondpurist]

Poor girl nothing. Mentioning her on a James Bond site is almost insulting.

[IrishCrown]

She kinda reminds me of the twit ice skater in For Your Eyes Only. Pretty bad when even Roger Moore won't shag her.

[Bondpurist]

What, Bibi? She is funny. One of the few bad things about FYEO, though.

[IrishCrown]

They tried to go back to a From Russia With Love kind of feel to the movie with that one. They even threw in a Kerim Bey character with Topol, and it still worked. Maibaum was mostly happy with that one, but he himself said they had to wrong actor in the role...ouch!

[Bondpurist]

That's why I like FYEO then. Now you mention it Topol is a bit like Kerim.

[IrishCrown]

Maibaum himself said that he was brought back in to bring the balloon down after the out of this world horse**** of Moonraker. Someone had to make a brave decision to do that after Moonraker's record-breaking success to not go anymore in that direction, but instead go back to earth.

[Bondpurist]

It goes from the ridiculous to the sublime. Moonraker to FYEO. Well, sublime is a bit ott, but it's a darn sight better.

[IrishCrown]

It's also one of the few Bonds NOT to end with an explosion.

[Bondpurist]

Well, most of them have something between the explosion and the actual end, but yeah, I see what you mean.

[IrishCrown]

Another sign you're watching a Dalton Bond movie (on TBS)

As you watch Dalton emote and grimace like he's constipated, you find yourself wondering what's on the Home & Garden channel.

[IrishCrown]

But, wait, there's more!
His Bond French-kisses his women.
They don't exactly break box office records
His Bond movies make MGM studio execs nervous
His Bond movies make Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van Damme movies look good by comparison.

[Bondpurist]

What's wrong with french kisses?
So they're not brilliant at the box office, but that doesn't mean that they're not great films - the advertising campaign was awful for LTK and TLD did much, much better than AVTAK, Octopussy, etc.
MGM execs were not nervous over Dalton, but rather over the court battle for the rights to the Bond films.
If you consider Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van Damme to be brilliant beyond effective comparison, then perhaps. Anyway, you're using box office success as a comparison - good box office doesn't necessarily mean an artistically credible film.

[IrishCrown]

If you have heard the story about MGM execs not wanting to ok another Bond film with Dalton, you would be able to know what was going on. The head of MGM did not want to do another Bond with Dalton after the financial failure of LTK. Brocolli unfortunately did, and they were at loggerheads over that one.

[Bondpurist]

Brocoli was more interested in artistic success than financial success, which is quite evident in the example of LTK -artistically a triumph but finacially a flop. It's merit as a film is more important than its merit as an investment.

[IrishCrown]

One more way you can tell it was Dalton...

1. That's not Afghanistan, that's Morocco! Who are they trying to fool?

[Bondpurist]

You can hardly blame Dalton for that, Irishcrown!

[IrishCrown]

I never said I was...my, oh my, are we touchy!!! In between responding to your rants, I had to throw something light on so I wouldn't stoop to your level.

[Bondpurist]

My rants? Don't you mean my well structered, detailed responses to your erudite and insightful criticisms. My level? That high? Gee, thanks.