19078 replies to this topic

[Skudor]

I hate English tea myself. Will only go as far as Earl Grey, with lots of sugar.

Duvets. Although sometimes the summer here calls for thin blankets.

Devon or Cornwall...

[Santa]

I have no idea, haven't been in England much.

Public displays of affection: Oh how sweet or oh how crass?

[Skudor]

I guess I'd have to say sweet...


Tongues: God's gift to man or horrible instrument of torture?

[Santa]

Well that would depend on whose tongue it is. And some men really need to learn how to use it properly...

Skirts: Long or short?

[Skudor]

Short is always good, although it does depend on the wearer...

Watches - Great stuff or stressful accessory.

[Santa]

I couldn't go out without a watch, it'd be like going out without a bra, I'd feel odd all day.

Porsches: fine automobile or penis extension?

[Skudor]

Definitely extensions. What an utterly pointless car.

Creaky bed or silent bed?

[Santa]

A silent bed please.

Slightly hairy legs: Forgivable or not?

[Skudor]

After a while you get away with anything, including gorrilla impersonations.

Water beds or normal mattresses?

[Santa]

A good, firm mattress. Or sometimes the floor. Or the kitchen table. Or in the shower. Or the back seat. I could go on?

The IT department: Extremely helpful fellows or useless wankers?

[Skudor]

Totally and utterly useless.
Exhibit 1: Colour printer - 4 months to obtain, 3 weeks to unpack and install.
Exhibit 2: "Can't get into my computer, lost password" - "OK, I'll email you a new password......"
And what's with the black t-shirts and long hair????


Computers: Best thing since sliced bread, or evil machines bent on destroying the world through spam?

[Santa]

Evil. Pure evil. But where would we be without them? (Out having a life, probably)

Golden suntan or pale and interesting?

[Skudor]

Natural suntans always look best. Can't say I ever have one though.

Hairy chests - manly must, or filthy fluff?

[Santa]

Manly - as long as we're not talking gorillas again. There are limits.

Monogamy: The way forward or the biggest con trick God ever played on mankind?

[Skudor]

Oooh. Definitely a very successful contrick.

Harems: Great career choice for girls, or vile male oriented prisons.

[Santa]

Hmmm. I'll get back to you on that one.

It is after the apocalypse. You are the only man left and it is your responsibility to repopulate Earth. With which of the other two survivors do you choose to do this: Judy Finnigan or Cilla Black?

[Skudor]

Harikari, with a very, very rusty and dull blade would be infinitely preferable. The human race be damned.


Hugh Heffner or Donald Trump?

[Santa]

I love the Donald. He's such a dude. He wouldn't have to be one of the last men on Earth, I'd sleep with him any time.

Playboy: Filthy pørn or prize-winning journalism?

[Skudor]

Neither. Just boring.

Gossip mags: Necessary to keep otherwise idle women busy, or evil tools to dumb down our otherwise oh so high brow society?

[Santa]

Idle women? Do you mean me? I find 'Hello' extremely intellectually stimulating.

Live fast and die young or hope you're old before you die?

[Skudor]

Longevity definitely. And I'm sure there's a compromise in there somewhere.


Spreadsheets: Evil or Oddly entertaining?

[Santa]

Evil. I bet you spend all day creating them.

Foreplay or afterglow?

[Skudor]

Sadly...

Foreplay. Can I have both?

Affairs with bosses: Just for fun or career enhancing moves?

[Santa]

Both. And yes, you can.

Professor Colin Pillinger: Scientific messiah or buffoon?

[Skudor]

Gotta be a Messiah... with that look.

Flushing toilet: The greatest invention in the world or leaves much to be desired?

[Santa]

What? Greatest invention. Is there any question about that?

Infidelity: Is it ever excusable? (Are you having an affair with your boss?)

[Skudor]

Goodness no, he's a nice chap and all that, but NO!

Depends on the perp! Can't possibly excusable, I think.

Extraterrestrials: noexistent or already in charge of the US?

[Santa]

They are already in charge. I should know. I am one.

Muscly women: A turn-on or turn-off?

[Skudor]

There are limits, after which it's a definite turnoff.

Army careers: Great op. for travelling or greatest scam there ever was?

[Santa]

Terrible scam. But the men look good in uniform

Me: A totally filthy mind or just deeply misunderstood?