36 replies to this topic

[Mercator]

Carver / Gupta '96

Campaign song: "Don't Stop Thinkin' About Tomorrow"

Lopez / Sanchez '88

"We're only president for life"

Edited by Mercator, 13 September 2008 - 12:32 AM.

[Zorin Industries]

Breaking news: Independent presidential candidate J. W. Pepper has just chosen his running mate, Ulysses Simpson Police-Captain of San Francisco. When questioned by reporters as to the details of the choosing, Police-Captain put them all under arrest; when the press corps announced their credentials, he responded, "Yeah, and I'm Dick Tracy -- and you're still under arrest!"

Though the press have got their teeth around a story about a Hong Kong car dealership that is reporting a stolen car. A warrant has been issued for a man fitting the description of SHERIFF JW PEPPER and some bit-part English thesp in a cravatte.

Added to that there has been mention of a local fracas involving - apparently - some black leather-clad exiles from outer space who caused a riot in some outback town whilst the local sheriff (fitting PEPPER's description again) stood by and did nothing.

[Zorin Industries]

Willard Whyte has just upped his ante in the forthcoming election by declaring his latest oil drilling platform to "be the will of God".

Political pundits are claiming it is a shameless cash-in of the God Express, others are saying the Bible-belt will believe anything.

Churches in Baja have yet to comment.

[trs007]

[Zorin Industries]

Willard Whyte has a surprise last minute rival in the Presidential stakes - and one outside the Bond camp.

The following is a Neuters Press Release (dated 22nd October)...

" VOTE ERIC LASSARD AS OUR NEXT PRESIDENT!

Are you tired of political spin and voter apathy?

Can you see exactly what is going on at The White House?

Do you think your leader needs some real security experience and an awareness of policing our streets?

Do you want a free goldfish?

If you said yes to any of the above then add your support to LASSARD '08 - the only way we can save America from itself.

Since 1984, Commandant Eric Lassard has shone as a civic minded man steeped in the local politics, crime fighting and getting everyone (be it the punk or the nerd) back in training. A long-time advocate of allowing citizens to police themselves, Eric Lassard will no longer let criminally minded bit-part actors lay seige to our cities, schools and golf courses.

Eric Lassard has not only reached out to the community and involved them in policing their streets, he has travelled abroad, taught the Miami police a thing or two and understands the challenges posed by Russia.

A staunch supporter of gay rights (Lassard has already guaranteed a Blue Oyster bar for every city), Lassard is also not afraid to elect a woman as his running mate and VP ticket. Officer Deborah Callahan has vast assets she is willing to put on the debating table. She is a fierce campaigner for more women in municipal employment, takes the role of VP very, very, very seriously and has already promised wet t-shirt training for all like minded women.

"This is a very, very, very, very good day for America" - Eric Lassard"

END OF PRESS RELEASE.

[Zorin Industries]

So this is why QUANTUM OF SOLACE wasn't released this week in America. They were afraid of jeopardising WW's campaign?!

Willard Whyte has now seen SOLACE for himself. His initial thoughts on leaving the Baja premiere were "Forster? Tell him he's fired!".

[Zorin Industries]

NEWS JUST IN.

Willard Whyte has just been photographed in the audience at an Austrian performance of CATS. He is rumoured to have been in covert talks with a French water mogul though witnesses have claimed that Whyte was not happy with having to wear a lapel badge that simply said 'Q'. One onlooker said they heard him shout out "Q?!! What does that stand for - queer?!!".