36 replies to this topic

[Zorin Industries]

A surprise candidate and running mate have entered the 2008 Presidential Elections.

He supports big business, gambling, call-girls named after their fathers and women that kick butt. He has had experience of running a big city (Las Vegas) and is a staunch supporter of Californian politics.

[attachment=9431:Whyte__08.jpg]

Whilst his manifesto is far from clear, Candidate Whyte promises to rid the world of the "terror-wrists" (especially that old fraud, Saxby who has already "been fired"), he refuses to use and reference the Bible (because his has a recording device hidden inside) and he wants to kickstart America's Space Race ambitions (but is so far not answering questions from NASA as to where a missing Moon Buggy is purported to be).

[Mister Asterix]

Have you Whyte people been living in seclusion for too long? Clearly the ticket of Drax-Zorin’s stance of Free Trade of foreign national landmarks is what it will take to get this economy moving in the right direction.

[Zorin Industries]

I did consider the Drax / Zorin ticket - especially as my Uncle wants "more powah!", but I got a little put off by their stance on women. Hugo Drax thinks they come two by two and Uncle Max isn't convinced they come at all.

At least they would both have big business in California behind them.

[Jim]

The Stromberg/Orlov/Carver foreign policy dream ticket has potential: create a war on a shaky pretext and then, once people have stopped destroying each other, wade in with your rebuilding program.

[Mister Asterix]

At least they would both have big business in California behind them.

Yup. What’s left of it anyway.

[HildebrandRarity]

I prefer the Auric/Maurice approach: Take over as many aquafiers in the Banana republics and then irradiate the fresh water sources in Alpine Europe. Make those snobby Evian drinkers pay more!

[dinovelvet]

Racists, all of you!

Everyone knows the Kananga/Big ticket is the way to go, they've already swept the New York and Louisiana primaries, and their "free prescriptions" policy is sure to be a winner!

[Jim]

Racists, all of you!

Everyone knows the Kananga/Big ticket is the way to go, they've already swept the New York and Louisiana primaries, and their "free prescriptions" policy is sure to be a winner!

Hmm, good point - and you really get the feeling that they think as one.

[Mr. Blofeld]

What about Blofeld/Largo? I hear they've got some interesting plans going on in the Sea of Japan...

[Jim]

Scaramanga 2008. Good relationship with the Chinese; also able to secure the Cuban vote. Heavy promoter of green sources of power. Domestic agenda a little uncertain but would bring fun house to the White House. Gun fetish.

[dinovelvet]

Scaramanga 2008. Good relationship with the Chinese; also able to secure the Cuban vote. Heavy promoter of green sources of power. Domestic agenda a little uncertain but would bring fun house to the White House. Gun fetish.

I dunno, the rumours that the Wint/Kidd campaign have some "scandalous" photos of Scaramanga just won't go away. And his running mate, that "Nack" bloke has yet to impress.

[Mister Asterix]

Scaramanga 2008. Good relationship with the Chinese; also able to secure the Cuban vote. Heavy promoter of green sources of power. Domestic agenda a little uncertain but would bring fun house to the White House. Gun fetish.

I dunno, the rumours that the Wint/Kidd campaign have some "scandalous" photos of Scaramanga just won't go away. And his running mate, that "Nack" bloke has yet to impress.

He does come up short, doesn’t he?

[Zorin Industries]

For the record, Wint and Kydd '72 were the dream ticket for a lot of guitar playing folksy types down Frisco way.

To homosexualise-ify them in this way goes against God, the Bible and that aftershave company they set up in the late 1970's.

Now it seems Oliver Stone is endorsing WHYTE '08 by making a biopic of our next President.

It's called "WW." (!)

[Mister Asterix]

It's called "WW." (!)

I hope it’s better than ESB or The People vs. Derek Flint.

[dinovelvet]

Now it seems Oliver Stone is endorsing WHYTE '08 by making a biopic of our next President.

It's called "WW." (!)

But is America ready for another oil president? I think the race is over now that British Prime Minister Graves has given his official endorsement to Whyte's opponent, Nevada Senator Blofeld. There was some controversy, when after a joint summit in Iceland, referring to Blofeld as a "diamond geezer", whose "sparkling personality" would "light up" the world, Graves refused to give details about their joint "satellite defense system", and immediately excused himself to embark on a diplomatic trip to Korea. Graves has remained a popular PM, despite the minor flap earlier this year over his "Japan is a bug waiting to be squashed" proposals, and his endorsement is a great boost to the Senator, who has recently booked a weekend at a "health spa" for a "minor cosmetic procedure".

[sark]

He supports big business, gambling, call-girls named after their fathers and women that kick butt.

There's nothing about that sentence that I don't like.

[Mister Asterix]

He supports big business, gambling, call-girls named after their fathers and women that kick butt.

There's nothing about that sentence that I don't like.

I’m a bit afraid of a call girls named Chuck or Hans.

[Bryce (003)]

It's called "WW." (!)

I hope it’s better than ESB or The People vs. Derek Flint.

Ah yes. My former running mate on our failed '04 ticket. He did get Brosnan as PR for the Dolphin lobby though. Granted, we were a "write in" campaign, but our "The Spark the Nation needs" bumper sticker sold well on the web.

Sadly, Derek shot us both in the foot with his two sound bites:

"An actor as President?"

and when told by a reporter (Damn Dan Rather) that the "world was in trouble":

"Well, it usually is, but it manages to extricate itself without my help."



Our polls dropped 65% the next morning. He almost had to sell his lighter on Ebay to cover our PR costs.

[Solex Agitator]

This just in...

http://www.inews3.co...2647c5768797465

[Zorin Industries]

Scaramanga 2008. Good relationship with the Chinese; also able to secure the Cuban vote. Heavy promoter of green sources of power. Domestic agenda a little uncertain but would bring fun house to the White House. Gun fetish.

And a staunch supporter of dwarf rights and the Tabasco industry. Admittedly, he's not so good in an energy crisis.

[Lounge Lizard]

Brad Whitaker for President in 2008!

BREAKING NEWS: Whitaker's war record a fraud?

Candidate Whitaker promises: 'I'll follow Kamran Shah to the Gates of Hell!'

[Zorin Industries]

Brad Whitaker for President in 2008!

BREAKING NEWS: Whitaker's war record a fraud?

Candidate Whitaker promises: 'I'll follow Kamran Shah to the Gates of Hell!'

A KOSKOV / WHITAKER ticket....? I can see the arts finally getting the financial support it needs. Though his work with Taliban-esque freedom fighters in Afghanistan in '87 could come back to haunt him.

It's still WHYTE '08 for me.

[Zorin Industries]

Willard's team have just emerged with the tag line and poster motto that will define a generation...

"WHYTER THAN WHYTE".

[Zorin Industries]

What about Blofeld/Largo? I hear they've got some interesting plans going on in the Sea of Japan...

Pool sharks for everyone?

[Zorin Industries]

CNN is reporting that Willard Whyte has just done a television debate with his Presidential rival, Max Zorin. The crowd are in hysterics over Whyte's put-down to Zorin's ability to run the Whyte House...

"Right idea, wrong pussy".

Zorin is now stumped and retracting his election pledge of free kickboxing lessons and fishing rods for all children of school age.

[SecretAgentFan]

Funniest thread ever.

[Vauxhall]

Reports of Blofeld being seen wandering through a Las Vegas casino in drag resembling a lipstick-wearing pig...

[Zorin Industries]

Reports of Blofeld being seen wandering through a Las Vegas casino in drag resembling a lipstick-wearing pig...

That's just too good!!

Now Whyte's Vice President contender Hergersheimer has been banned from a university campus convention because his ID card is missing.

[dinovelvet]

CNN is reporting that Willard Whyte has just done a television debate with his Presidential rival, Max Zorin. The crowd are in hysterics over Whyte's put-down to Zorin's ability to run the Whyte House...

"Right idea, wrong pussy".

Zorin is now stumped and retracting his election pledge of free kickboxing lessons and fishing rods for all children of school age.

As if this shocking news wasn't enough, today we learn that Louisiana independent candidate J.W. Pepper has officially thrown his hat into the ring. With a platform that promises cages strong enough to hold any animal, strict boating laws, elephant control reforms, and a ban on all Doomsday machines, Pepper has already gained strong support, though curiously the Thai government has officially condemned Pepper's campaign.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Breaking news: Independent presidential candidate J. W. Pepper has just chosen his running mate, Ulysses Simpson Police-Captain of San Francisco. When questioned by reporters as to the details of the choosing, Police-Captain put them all under arrest; when the press corps announced their credentials, he responded, "Yeah, and I'm Dick Tracy -- and you're still under arrest!"