154 replies to this topic

[Daddy Bond]

Sometimes some of the jokes in Bond are pretty tired - but sometimes they're downright funny - at least enough to crack a smile.

What do you think is the funniest Bond moment?

Here are a couple of my favorites:

In DAD: Bond: "You're cleverer than you look." Q: "Better than looking cleverer than you are."

In TSWLM: Bond "Bond, James Bond." Answer: "What of it?"

In GF: Connery not getting to finish his "Bond, James..."

There are lots more of course. What are your favorites?

Regards

[Nimsworth]

Diamonds Are Forever. Bond and Tiffany Case


James Bond: That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.
Tiffany Case: I don't dress for the hired help. Let's see your passport, Franks.

Tiffany Case: Occupation: Transport Consultant? It's a little cute isn't it? I'll finish dressing.
James Bond: Oh, please don't, not on my account.

Octopussy always brings a smile to me face.

[The Richmond Spy]

"The insurance company is never going to believe this." -Zukovsky in TWINE (this got a lot of laughs at the theater)

I must admit, Tiffany Case's lines in Diamonds Are Forever are pretty hilarious. Kind of cheesy, but humorous.

[Judo chop]

Connery's face when Red Grant orders "Chianti... the red kind".

It's subtle, so if you haven't noticed it... check it out. Perfection for the Connery connoisseur.

[Harmsway]

My all-time favorite:

"You've caught me with more than my hands up."

To be honest, I think DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is full of the best "humorous" moments in the series, despite being such a campy film. I find myself laughing quite a bit during that movie.

[Bryce (003)]

Fiona: (naked in the tub when Bond peers in) Would you mind giving me something to put on?

Bond: Of course. (hands her pair of heels)

[Jaws0178]

Yep, that one is classic. My personal favorite doesn't involve Bond, it's most of Sheriff JW Peppers lines

[TortillaFactory]

"You've caught me with more than my hands up."

Snicker.

I'm very fond of this one, as well.

[Harmsway]

"You've caught me with more than my hands up."

Snicker.

I'm very fond of this one, as well.

It's Connery's perfect delivery that really sells it, though. His delivery with witticisms never cease to amaze me. He's still the best - though it didn't hurt that he was just given some wonderfully witty lines.

[Daddy Bond]

Another one of my favorites is during Brosnan's first outing with Q, where he picks up Q's sandwich with curiousity, wondering what kind of top secret device it could be and Q retorts:

"Don't touch that! That's my lunch."

By the way, my wife and I are watching through all the Bond films, and I'm making note of all of the funny parts in Bond. I'll post a full list here when I'm finished.

Regards

[Tiin007]

In Octopussy: "Having trouble keeping it up, Q?"

In MR: Dr. Goodhead- "Hang on, James!"
Bond- "The thought had occured to me."

The Richmond Spy, I also like "The insurance company is never going to believe this."

My all time favorite was in DAD (even though the movie wasn't amazing, this was still a great line): Frost- "Are we still being watched?"
Bond- "Oh, they left ages ago." Classic!!

Edited by Tiin007, 08 June 2006 - 10:43 PM.

[Double-0-Seven]

I love Valentin's "The insurance company is never going to believe this" line. It brings a smile to my face every time I watch The World is Not Enough. I also love when the bricks and stones fall on Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me, and Roger replies "Egyptian builders".

[DamnCoffee]

I can only think of a Few at the Moment:


the Octopussy bodybag scene was funny


i also laugh the scene in AVTAK when bond is upside down hanging on the ladder and he says "swing me back" and also scene where stacy says "aww hell" and smashes the china over the mans head
i also laugh at her terrible acting and it's funny when bond makes tibbet carry all the luggage up the stairs and when stacy is about to jump the bridge and bond looks around with embarressment more of a carry on movie than a bond film


theres a few funny scenes in GE too:
when Oromov makes his escape with natalya in the car he looks behind and sees bond driving the tank with a horse statue on top and oromov chokes on his drink and when bond and natalya are on the train and natalya ramdomly comes out with "what else do you call your bottom" and bond just looks at her and says "what,"


ther's also i funny scene in TWINE in which bond is in the torture chair, and bond says to elecktra:
'one last screw'
and the next thing you know elecktra is sitting on him about to shag him


The conversation between frost and jinx is cool
'i see mr bonds explaining his big bang theory'
'yeah i think i got the thrust of it'
the expression on bonds face is what gets the laugh

[C_M_Bianchi]

i have a few.

goldfinger
DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK? NO MR. BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE!

octopussy
THE BODYBAG WHEN HE GOES MUUHAHAHAH! that makes me crack up every time i see it.

avtak
WHEN CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IS GUNNING DOWN HIS OWN MEN AND HE IS LAUGHING.

THE BUBBLES TICKLE MY JICOWSKI!

ge
WHEN EXZINA ORDERS A MARTINI STRAIGT UP. BOND LOOKS AT THE WAITER FUNNY

[Shaun Forever]

THE BUBBLES TICKLE MY JICOWSKI!

lol

[DaveBond21]

THE BUBBLES TICKLE MY JICOWSKI!

.....It's Tchaikovsky, the composer!!!

____

Anyway, here are some of my favourites:-


MR

Minister of Defence:- "My God, what's Bond doing?"
Q:-"I think he's attempting re-entry sir"

TB

Q enters, and Bond mutters "Oh no..."

TSWLM
"When in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures.."

FYEO
The parrot saves the day..."ATAC to St Cyrils, ATAC to St Cyrils...!!"

[dunmall]

I was never a fan of Bond ordering Tibbet around, you never ever boss John Steed around even if you are James Bond!

As for funniest lines I've always been partial to:

We're free!!

Kara, we're on a Russian airbase in the middle of afghanistan!

East, west? Just points on the compass. Each as stupid as the other.

World domination? Same old dream! (i like that one so much it was the tile of my honours thesis)

[TheLazenby]

"Are you calling me a horse's ?"

And also from the Dalton period, Pam's response to Q's explanation of why Bond slept with Lupe: "BULL !"

EDIT: Ironic that the forum censors the naughty bum word, yet there's a picture of just that object at the top of the screen!!

Edited by TheLazenby, 15 August 2006 - 03:13 AM.

[DaveBond21]

Goldeneye, Q - "Don't touch that! That's my lunch!"

and


Bond to Dr No - "Tell me, does the toppling of American missiles really compensate for having no hands?"

Edited by DaveBond21, 16 August 2006 - 02:12 AM.

[Thunderfinger]

I love everything about Mr Wint and Mr Kidd.
Also I liked that guy standing in a closet holding Bond

[TheLazenby]

OK, this doesn't count but - funniest Bond documentary moment:

"Every day is Groundhog Day for me, d'you know that?"

[DamnCoffee]

OK, this doesn't count but - funniest Bond documentary moment:

"Every day is Groundhog Day for me, d'you know that?"

Jimmy Dean - Inside DAf documetary

[DaveBond21]

I also like the moment when John Cleese as R/Q's assistant in TWINE, gives Bond the X-ray spectacles and Bond looks him up and down.

I always wonder what the joke was. Was there a production in-joke that "R" was wearing women's underwear???

[dunmall]

I hope not all you need is a James Bond movie repeating a lame joke from Spy Hard!! lol, although I do love Pierce's face in the casino while he has the glasses and this one woman walks passed him and he just pursues his lips while looking at her chest rather OTT and perhaps crude but hey your only young once!

[DaveBond21]

dunmall. I find myself pulling that face, when walking along my local nude beach here in Sydney....it is just like having X-ray glasses because everyone is naked....

[DanMan]

When he's in the gorilla suit on the train in OP and he quickly glances at his watch.

[DaveBond21]

When he's in the gorilla suit on the train in OP and he quickly glances at his watch.

LOL, that makes me groan - does anyone know which came first, Octopussy or Trading Places?????

[00Twelve]

No Bond film is completely devoid of humor. What is the intended shtick or bit that makes you crack up the most? I personally love the entire Zukovsky scene in GoldenEye. Always makes me laugh. And yourself?

[DaveBond21]

Bumped, to add to 00Twelve's post.


Some good ones here.

[Qwerty]

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