144 replies to this topic

[TortillaFactory]

Blah blah, forgot to link it earlier, sorry.

Une petite danoise
Theme: Like reading Proust in Chinese
Rating: PG-13
Blurb: "No, you're right - you can do all sorts of useful things with that. Like...reading Proust in Chinese."

An odd attempt to stick Book!Bond into a Film!Bond situation, I think. Hilarity ensues! Not really.

[Joyce Carrington]

Wow.

Bond is such a bastard.

[TortillaFactory]

Behind These Glossy Eyes
Theme: Clueless
Rating: PG-13
Blurb: I see it all, you know.

Okay...oddest thing. Ever. I did enjoy writing it, though.

[Jim]

I thought [such creatures] had an attention span of, um, thingy. It has a concept of organised religion?

[Joyce Carrington]

But it is kind of funny.

[TortillaFactory]

I thought [such creatures] had an attention span of, um, thingy. It has a concept of organised religion?

That's what it wants you to think.

But it is kind of funny.

I thought so. Bond even likes fish; I imagined they could be chums if the latter could actually talk.

Look, Bond's clearly nutters already - would talking to a fish really make that much difference?

[TortillaFactory]

Burial at Sea
Theme: You can total what I hold dear
Rating: PG
Blurb: James Bond sliced through the water, letting it shock his pores.

Odd. Sorry about the ending; it's meant to be ambiguous. You can choose to believe he did do....thingy, or you can choose to believe he didn't.

[TortillaFactory]

Nobody's reading these anymore, which gives me artistic license. WHEEE.

The Fingers of Your Hand
Theme: On an ever spinning wheel
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Out, out, damned spot.

[Joyce Carrington]

I was still reading these, just forgotten to comment.

I liked this one - as you know I'm interested in stuff in the life of a 00 in general. Nicely done.

[TortillaFactory]

I used my artistic licence to make Bond OCD like me...so it's all good.

I doubt he is, though.

[TortillaFactory]

The People Cry; Peace! Peace! But There Is No Peace.
Theme: Rainbows, all of them
Rating: PG
Blurb: Soldiers are lucky.

And you thought I'd go with the gay angle. Shame on you.

[TortillaFactory]

Ring of Fire
Theme: Some like it hot
Rating: PG-15
Blurb: As her tongue laps at your belly like a flame, think about what it means to burn.

FINALLY.

Goodnight, Gracie.

[Joyce Carrington]

*applauds TF*

Beautifully done, once again, Liz. I hope in some time you'll be entertaining us for another month.

[TortillaFactory]

I hope in some time you'll be entertaining us for another month.

Thanks, Joyce...but not bloody likely.

[Lazenby880]

Thanks, Joyce...but not bloody likely.

Quite, I would imagine that these sorts of things take the form of a literary endurance test.

An interesting project TF, much of which was enjoyable. Some pieces I thought were bizarre (although not the good 'bizarre'), most particularly the one with the fish. Nonetheless, you deserve congatulations on successfully completing it.

Edited by Lazenby880, 03 May 2006 - 09:18 AM.

[TortillaFactory]

(although not the good 'bizarre'),

One does wonder what you mean by "good" bizarre, I must say - your taste seems to run more towards the generic (which is fine). My real downfall, for better or worse, is my unwillingness [inability?] to stifle my sense of humour and/or aesthetics in my Bond stories. I could probably do it if I had lots of time and revised everything ad nauseum, but then I would end up with something anyone could have written, and that just doesn't interest me.

I read over all the drabbles last night and I can honestly say I'm proud of each and every one of them. While they all have their faults, chiefly a result of having been mostly written in 20 minutes or so, they were all enjoyable to me, and that's the point, really, isn't it? You can please some of the people all of the time, or you can please all of the people some of the time, et cetera. When it all comes down to it, you've got to do what you think is right, and sometimes it's just right to have Bond be watched by an intelligent fish.

No; really.

[Lazenby880]

One does wonder what you mean by "good" bizarre, I must say - your taste seems to run more towards the generic (which is fine).

I am sure that one does; although quite what you mean by 'generic' I do not know. Perhaps if you knew the extent of my reading list or actually read some of the books you would be better qualified to make such an assumption, although what others think of my reading matter perturbs me little.

By 'good bizarre' I meant the sort found in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. The very basis for a couple of the shorts in your project were plain strange, including, yes, the thing about a goldfish.

I could probably do it if I had lots of time and revised everything ad nauseum, but then I would end up with something anyone could have written, and that just doesn't interest me.

Not necessarily, surely if one's ideas are strong and original enough then they *could not* be written by anyone else. I do not really understand how editing one's own work will lead to it becoming something that anyone might have written.

I read over all the drabbles last night and I can honestly say I'm proud of each and every one of them. While they all have their faults, chiefly a result of having been mostly written in 20 minutes or so, they were all enjoyable to me, and that's the point, really, isn't it? You can please some of the people all of the time, or you can please all of the people some of the time, et cetera. When it all comes down to it, you've got to do what you think is right, and sometimes it's just right to have Bond be watched by an intelligent fish.

Well good for you, many of them were very enjoyable indeed. In those you demonstrated your evident ingenuity and skill. I am not sure whether simply pleasing yourself is the point to writing, but in doing so you appear to have certainly pleased others.

Edited by Lazenby880, 02 May 2006 - 10:35 PM.

[TortillaFactory]

If YOLT is bizarre, then I'm certainly in trouble. Am I correct in assuming that TSWLM toes the line into "bad bizarre" in your lexicon?

I see the hackles going up, but that wasn't my intention, really. I'm just odd. Some people don't like that. I could censor the oddness, but I would be unsatisfied with my writing if I did. It wouldn't be "me," and I figured I've got plenty of time to sell out once I've been published. For now I can write whatever I want, and enough people are enjoying it that I don't see anything horribly wrong with doing so.

I suspect your problem with said fish is not that it's actually a story from a fish's point of view, but rather that it's masquering as a Bond story. I have not taken Bond reverently and I never will; I apologise for this being troubling to some.

(If, however, you object to the idea of a story about a fish, then I'm afraid we have nothing more to talk about. Good day, sir.

I SAID GOOD DAY!)

[Lazenby880]

If YOLT is bizarre, then I'm certainly in trouble. Am I correct in assuming that TSWLM toes the line into "bad bizarre" in your lexicon?

Bizarre in the context of James Bond: Balloons, a castle, a suicide garden and sweating toads.

And no, I do not think that THE SPY WHO LOVED ME is bizarre, just a courageous experiment that did not fully work.

The hackles are not 'up'. I simply find it amusing that you have extrapolated from what I have previously said that my literary tastes are 'generic'. As I have noted, thrillers need not be generic, and my reading matter does not solely consist of them in any event. Go and read Anthony Burgess' TREMOR OF INTENT or something of that ilk and then tell me thrillers are necessarily generic.

I have read FIGHT CLUB recently, soon after finally getting around to viewing the Edward Norton/Brad Pitt picture. I can see why one might be a Palahnuik fan; I was certainly quite absorbed throughout. A very interesting writer.

My problem with a couple of your shorts TF is not that they are poorly written but that they are poorly conceived. Post-modernism can work, in my view, if it is done with tongue firmly held in cheek and purely for the purpose of humour; see spynovelfan's truly inspired BONDKILLER for an example. Those shorts of yours that I do not especially appreciate do not appear to have been designed for purely comical effect, with the result that it just does not work for me. Do I find a Bond story from the perspective of a goldfish humorously odd? No. Or Bond with OCD? No.

Of course, you find them entertaining, and from the comments here it would appear that you have entertained others. Good. The problem, of course, in soliciting feedback is that not all of it will be what one might want to hear, and I do not think it strange or extraordinary that I should have difficulty enjoying *some* of the postings in your project given their nature.

The other point to make about feedback is that one is free to ignore whatever one likes. I have little doubt you will ignore my criticisms as I am taking issue with the very concepts of some of your writings. That is fine for these are concepts that you thoroughly enjoy and think fit for James Bond, however I will give *honest* feedback when requested.

Am I generic? Perhaps. I did like CRUNCH a lot, maybe that is revealing. Nonetheless, I would venture to suggest that without knowing the breadth of what I might choose to read such assumptions are ill-founded. Again though, well done on completing the project. It must have taken a lot out of you, and I for one could not have done it.

Edited by Lazenby880, 03 May 2006 - 04:34 AM.

[TortillaFactory]

I'll give you "poorly concieved." Simple reason: I started writing most of them between 11:20 and 11:30 on the day of the deadline. While I don't understand your beef with the fish - it's supposed to be humour, don't take it seriously - I agree that the OCD story had a very weak ending. It wasn't the direction I intended to take, and it's really not Bond at all (as I admitted). However, I find it no more unsettling than the concept that Bond would kill without reason or rationale or regret, which some have suggested in fiction. It's a writing exercise - nothing more. (If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended.)

I should say in TSWLM's defense that I wouldn't exactly put it up against Great Expectations, or even for that matter Fight Club, when it comes to plot and such. There isn't much of one. It's more of a protracted short story, and I enjoy it because Bond makes me smile. It's probably one of those "if you're already a fan, you'll love it, but otherwise...." things. You need to have fallen for James hook, line, and sinker to even eek the slightest bit of enjoyment out of it. Accordingly, I couldn't be happier with the thing, even if it's a bit weak. Viv was extremely real to me and I enjoyed being able to live vicariously through her. I can see how the faults might be amplified for some.

I make no assumptions about what you do read, but rather about what you especially enjoy. You admit that my writing is not poor; ergo it's the style that bothers you, or the conception of the story itself. From this I extrapolate that your taste is less avant-garde than mine. This is not a "bad" thing, I'm just pointing it out.

And I may be right, judging from your rather levelheaded comments about Fight Club; when I read it, I was in an afterglow for weeks and babbled to anyone who would listen about how it was the greatest book of all time.

Differ'nt strokes.

P.S. If you don't like bizarre, for the love of God do NOT go read the Bond story on FF.N called "The Primrose Path." Actually, I should force you to, Clockwork Orange - style, then you will truly appreciate how normal I am. Yeah, it's that weird. And not in a "good" way either. See, I do have my limitations - even the Marquis de Sade ran out of perversions somewhere towards the end of the 120 Days of Sodom.

[Jim]

This is all very entertaining.

[TortillaFactory]

Dear, dear condescending Jim.

Don't ever change.

(Someday I'll probably regret comparing myself to the Marquis de Sade.)

[Jim]

Dear, dear condescending Jim.

Don't ever change.

(Someday I'll probably regret comparing myself to the Marquis de Sade.)

I can make that very soon, if you like.

[TortillaFactory]

Do your worst. Sticks and stones, luv.

[Harry Fawkes]

What a wonderful discovery I have just made. I have just been through three of TortillaFactory's work. I'm in love with TFs writing. Sipmply WOW!

I have found inspiration at last!