THE DEATH COLLECTOR
A part of the "Reimagining the Classics" series
The gunbarrel opens on a shot of an outdoor funeral in Italy. The priest is delivering a traditional funeral sermon as the mourners sit attentively, with the exception of a small few: M, Marc Ange Draco, Miss Jane Moneypenny, Bill Tanner, and Felix Leiter. As the priest continues the service, the scene is intercut with shots of the drive-by shooting in which Tracy was killed. We see Irma Bunt firing the gun out of the window of the speeding car, hitting Tracy in a barrage of bullets meant to kill both Tracy and Bond.
M: (whispers) “Where is Double-oh Seven?”
DRACO: “I don’t know. To miss your own wife’s funeral...So cold.”
Other mourners have noticed Bond’s absence as well, and many exchange confused glances as they try to figure out where Tracy’s husband is.
We cut away from Teresa’s funeral and the very next shot is one of Bond being thrown a glass door into the interior of a mansion which has external walls made almost entirely of glass. Through the shattered door frame steps a behemoth of a man named Damien. He stands over Bond, smiling, knowing that he’s eventually going to do what his bosses had failed to do several days prior: kill Bond. Behind him steps Irma Bunt.
BUNT: “I’m disappointed to see you, Mr. Bond. I thought I was a much better shot than that.”
BOND: “Clearly not.”
BUNT (to Damien): “Please see that Mr. Bond gets to see his late wife this evening. It’s the least we could do for our old friend.”
Damien nods his agreement as Bunt leaves. He then proceeds to continue his dismantling of Bond. Bond has no answer for the viciousness of Damien’s attacks, instead opting for escape and defensive maneuvers whenever possible to keep himself alive. Damien eventually gets his hands on Bond again and proceeds to beat him to within an inch of his life. He drops Bond to a bloody, broken heap on the floor.
DAMIEN: “Goodbye, Mr. Bond.”
Damien leaves the room and picks up a phone in another room.
DAMIEN: “It’s done.”
Damie returns to where he left Bond and finds that Bond is not there. A door leading out to the massive pool in the back of the property. Damien goes out to investigate, walking around the pool, looking for Bond. Bond emerges from behind a large landscaping rock and smashes Damien over the head with a shovel. He pushes him into the pool and then hits the button that causes the pool cover to automatically extend out over the pool, trapping Damien inside and nearly unconscious.
Bond limps back towards the beach in front of the mansion and gets back into his boat and speeds away.
Fade into the title sequence, featuring “I’m So Afraid” by Lindsey Buckingham.
Johannesburg, South Africa
The first shot we see out of the title sequence is of Agent 004 walking briskly through a dark, run-down building. He is being followed, although he cannot see his assailant. He turns a corner and finds himself face to face with Thumper. He stops dead in his tracks, kept in place by the look of sheer insanity on her face. She brandishes a pistol that is seemingly made entirely of diamonds. It glistens in the small stream of moonlight that comes in through the gaps in the wooden walls.
004: “I told you, I don’t know anything.”
004 turns around in an effort to run in the other direction. He immediately comes face to face with Bambi. She wields a large hunting knife, also made entirely of diamonds.
THUMPER: "You got this one, babe?”
Bambi doesn’t respond. She simply slams the knife into 004’s gut, spraying blood all over Bambi’s white shirt. She steps back, looking down at her prey. She and Thumper turn to leave, hand-in-hand, while two masked men dressed entirely in black emerge from the shadows and drag 004 away.
James Bond sits alone in his dimly lit flat. On the table next to his chair rests two empty bottles of vodka and another that is half-empty, as well as an ashtray that is nearly overflowing with ash and cigarette butts. Bond takes another swig from the vodka bottle. He is sweating profusely and his face is pale, with the only color coming from the bags under his eyes and the injuries he sustained at the hands of Damien. May, his housekeeper, looks on from the doorway, shaking her head as if trying to think of something to say to him. Instead, she simply leaves for the day without saying anything other than that she had left some food for him in the kitchen.
At MI6, M receives a report that an agent in the field in Johannesburg has been brutally murdered. She intercoms Moneypenny to inquire about the whereabouts of Double-oh seven.
MONEYPENNY: “I have no idea where he is. I’ve been leaving messages on his mobile all afternoon.”
M returns her attention to the other pressing matter MI6 is facing: tracking down an individual known only by the nickname “The Death Collector”. Agent 008 enters her office, taking a seat across from her. They discuss what is known about The Death Collector, namely rumors of some experiments that he supposedly conducts, but nobody knows where or what they are. 008 leaves the office and M returns to the stack of paperwork on her desk. Outside in Moneypenny’s office, Bond finally stumbles in.
MONEYPENNY: “James, my God, you look terrible.”
Bond is a pale mess, having trouble even navigating his way to Moneypenny’s desk for their usual banter, leaning against it once he reaches it to keep his balance.
MONEYPENNY: “We didn’t see you at the funeral. Are you okay?”
BOND: “Nice to see you too, Moneypenny.”
Bond enters M’s office, not even waiting to be buzzed in as is procedure. As he stumbles in, M looks at him with great concern on her face. M scolds Bond over missing his wife’s funeral and then showing up at MI6 looking like death itself. The topic then moves to Bond’s whereabouts during Tracy’s funeral; M notes that the report came across her desk that Bunt’s home had been found abandoned and heavily damaged.
Because Bond needs to prove to M that he can handle a modest assignment. She assigns him to investigate a diamond smuggling operation in Johannesburg. 004 has failed to report in, so Bond is to pick up where he left off. Bond stands up and starts to leave the room, but before he does, M speaks again, this time apologizing for Tracy’s death. Bond doesn’t say anything, only responding with the slightest of nods. He leaves the room.
Bond stands alone in front of Tracy’s grave. He holds a bouquet of flowers, which he gently places on the ground in front of the tombstone. Bond stands in silence for several minutes before he hears footsteps behind him. He turns and sees Draco, who anxiously asks if Bond got the bastard who killed Tracy. Bond responds that it’s been taken care of.
DRACO: “Did she suffer?”
BOND: “I didn’t get her. I had her cornered, but I couldn’t finish it off.”
DRACO: “That’s disappointing to hear. What about Blofeld?
BOND: "I don't know."
Draco cautions Bond to cut back on his vices. Bond turns to leave, walking off into the distance, leaving Draco alone at his daughter’s grave.
Bond sits at an outdoor café waiting for 004 to show. After an hour of waiting, Bond decides the he is not going to show, and leaves. Bond goes to 004’s hotel room. He knocks on the door, there is no answer, so he decides to break in and survey the situation. 004 is not in his hotel room, but Bond finds several documents strewn all over the bed and desk. He sifts through the information, finding that one name keeps coming up: Peter Franks. The documents say that Franks is expected to arrive in Johannesburg the following day.
The next day, Bond waits in a car in front of the airport terminal waiting for Franks to arrive. Franks gets into a taxi, which Bond follows until he arrives at his hotel. Bond follows Franks up to his hotel room. He picks the lock and enters, gun drawn. Franks notices his presence immediately and attempts to put up a fight, but Bond kneecaps him with the pistol, causing him to fall back on the bed. Bond demands the name of his contact. Franks refuses. Bond kneecaps Franks in the other knee. Franks continues to refuse to give up the name of his contact. Bond tells Franks that he is going to die regardless of whether he gives up the contact information. If he gives it up, Bond will make his death quick and relatively painless. Franks tells Bond the meeting time and place for the afternoon. Bond puts a bullet in Franks’ head and leaves the hotel.
Bond arrives for the meeting at the Rose Garden at the Johannesburg Botanical Garden. Tiffany Case approaches Bond and introduces herself. She explains to Bond the next step in the plan, which is to pick up a shipment of diamonds and take them to a man named Shady Tree in New York City. Bond will deliver the diamonds while Case watches from a distance. Bond and Tiffany go to a dentist’s office and pick up the diamonds and head back to Bond’s hotel. By this point, it is late in the afternoon and they have an early flight the next morning.
Bond and Tiffany go through customs posing as a couple. Bond has hidden the diamonds in a secret compartment of his luggage that Major Boothroyd has assured him is undetectable to any modern security technology, which is proven to be correct in this instance as the two clear customs without any trouble. Tiffany drops Bond off at a burlesque shop in the city and jokes that he’ll buy Tiffany something if she comes in.
Bond enters the shop and finds Shady Tree standing behind the counter. Bond hands her the diamonds and inquires about the payment. She tells him that to pick up his payment, he needs to go to The Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas, play their new dreidel game and put the maximum bet down on ‘Gimmel’. The game is fixed and that is where Bond can pick up his payment, and he is to stop playing once he has won his payment. Bond exits the shop just as Tiffany pulls up in front.
Agent 004 enters a castle-like structure. He holds his head in pain, trying to determine what is going on around him. He can hear footsteps all around him, closing in on him. He runs, trying to get away from it all, but the sounds still surround him. He draws his weapon and fires it in the direction of the footsteps, but nothing happens. Soon, a voice can be heard coming from apparently nowhere.
SHATTERHAND: “Don’t fight it…they’re too strong for you.”
Agent 004 has a frightened expression on his face as the screen goes black. Cut to black
Bambi and Thumper are sitting out by the pool, sunbathing on the roof of The Cosmopolitan. Bambi sips her drink and stares out over her sunglasses as she sees Jack Spang and his brother Seraffimo Spang approaching them. Bambi asks for their money, so Seraffimo takes two rolled up wads of money out of his pocket and tosses one to each of the women. Jack sits down on the end of the deck chair that Bambi was sitting on. Jack makes a sad attempt to invite Bambi out to dinner and dancing, but Bambi makes it quite clear that she has little interest in him. Jack and Seraffimo walk away. Bambi reaches over to give Thumper a reassuring pat on the leg and then lies back on the deck chair to continue sunbathing.
At the airport, Bond and Tiffany are welcomed by Felix Leiter. He pulls Bond aside and explains to him that he knows why he is in Las Vegas, but that he has been working on an investigation that Bond might be able to help him with. Felix has been investigating corruption in the Las Vegas gambling circuit for a while now, and after Bond explains to him the procedure for his securing his payment for the diamonds in New York, Felix asks him to set-up the dealer. The plan is for Felix to bribe the dealer to fix the game against Bond, even though the game was originally to be fixed in Bond’s favor. Bond is then to deliver the bribe to the dealer at a mudbath outside of the city.
Bond enters the casino and makes his way to the dreidel game. Bond puts the maximum wager down on Gimmel. The dreidel is spun, and the crowd that had gathered around after Bond made his maximum bid at the table waits in anticipation for the dreidel to stop. When it stops, Bond loses. Bond walks away from the table to a waiting Felix, who hands him the bribe money and asks him to take the bribe to the dealer.
A while later, at the bathhouse, the dreidel dealer sits in the mud bath, enjoying the therapy he’s receiving. Into the room walks Bambi and Thumper. Thumper walks over to the controls for the mud bath and begins to crank the temperature of the mud up way past a fatal level. The dealer tries to get out of the mud bath, but is held in the bath by Bambi. He struggles to break free of her grasp, but she manages to keep him in. The temperature continues to rise, burning the dealer’s skin considerably. Eventually, the heat begins to overtake the dealer, and he loses consciousness and gives up fighting against Bambi’s resistance. He dies from the burns he sustains.
THUMPER: “How did you want your dealer cooked? Medium or well done?”
BAMBI: “I think he’s done, babe.”
Knowing that the dealer is expecting company in the form of government agents, Bambi and Thumper vacate the premises quickly and head back to the hotel.
Later, Bond finds himself at the bathhouse on the outskirts of Las Vegas. When he enters, the receptionist informs him that the mud bath is in the back of the premises. Bond walks through the bath house, first through a couple of lengthy hallways and then through a large rectangular bath room with a pool running down the middle of the room and stone floors on either side of the pool. When Bond arrives in the mud bath room, he walks up to the bath, and finds the dealer lying dead in the bath. Bond pockets the envelope of cash.
When Bond arrives back at the hotel, a very angry Tiffany Case is waiting for him, wanting to know where her money is. Bond responds that the dreidel game was rigged, but the other way. Bond doesn’t answer, but instead decides that Tiffany needs to really know what she’s gotten herself into. He reveals that he’s not Peter Franks, that his name is in fact James Bond and that he’s trying to shut down the Spangs’ diamond smuggling operation. Tiffany doesn’t say anything at first, but then the implications of what Bond is telling her suddenly hit her. Tiffany is worried that she’s going to jail, but Bond reassures her that he has no jurisdiction there, anyway. Tiffany still wants her money, so Bond promises to bring it to her shortly.
Bond makes his way to the blackjack table with the goal of winning enough money to cover Tiffany’s cut of the payment. He does very well the moment he sits down at the table, and after a few hours, he has won the necessary money. Meanwhile, in the security room, Seraffimo Spang is watching Bond on the security monitors.
Seraffimo radios down to the security staff, instructing them to get rid of Bond. By the time the call is received, Bond has already left the table, and the casino, with Tiffany. Bond and Tiffany walk down the strip away from the hotel, knowing that security would be after them after Bond broke part of the deal for the payment, which was not to gamble on the floor after playing the fixed game.
Bond looks over his shoulder and sees a couple of security agents pursuing the two of them. They walk past a Ford dealership showroom, and they duck inside. The security agents follow them in. Bond tells Tiffany to get in the passenger seat of a beautiful 2013 Mustang, but Tiffany instead climbs into the driver’s seat as the security agents gain on them. Not having time to argue with her, Bond gets into the passenger seat as Tiffany revs up the engine and drives the car through the plate-glass window of the showroom out onto the street.
Tiffany drives recklessly through the crowded strip as the agents steal their own car and continue their pursuit. Bond draws his pistol and leans out the window, taking aim at the car following them. He fires several shots at the car. He kills the man in the front passenger seat, but misses the driver. He ducks back into the car to reload the pistol.
Bond and the agents following them exchange gunfire as their cars swerve and barrel through the Las Vegas traffic. The chase continues for several minutes before Tiffany thinks she has lost the agents. She pulls the car into a drive-in movie theater, parking amongst the crowd. They see their pursuers enter the drive-in several moments later.
The agents slowly drive their car up and down the rows of cars looking for Bond and Tiffany. Thinking quickly, Bond comes up with a plan. Bond orders her to climb across and assists her over the console divider and into his lap. He kisses her, and she pulls back.
TIFFANY: “What are you doing?”
BOND: “It’s called blending in.” (Bond motions out the window to several cars with younger people kissing)
Tiffany gives in and the two kiss for a while until Bond sees the agents pass by their car through the rearview mirror.
BOND: “I think we’re safe.”
TIFFANY: “Good. Your mouth tastes like cigarettes.”
BOND: “It wasn’t a picnic for me, either.”
Bond watches as the agents go into the restroom searching for them. Bond exits the car and heads towards the restroom. He screws the silencer onto the end of his pistol and enters quietly. The agents are standing with their back to him, checking underneath the stall doors for people inside. Bond quickly kills both of them and then gets back in the car.
A few hours later, back at the hotel, Seraffimo Spang and Jack Spang are in the control room of the casino. Jack dials his mobile phone. Thumper picks up. Spang orders the two of them down to the control room right away.
Later that evening, Bond leaves Tiffany to go unwind a bit at one of the hotel's bars, where a burlesque show is being performed. Bond gets himself a front row seat and orders a few drinks for the show. As the show is being performed, Bond catches the eyes of two of the dancers. They make a special point to do most of their dancing in front of Bond. The audience recognizes the dancers as Bambi and Thumper. When the show is over, Bambi approaches Bond and offers him a private dance. Bond is reluctant, but Bambi ups the ante—motioning to Thumper, and offering two for the price of one.
Bond agrees and the two women lead him into a back room. Bond hands them some money and they begin dancing for him. This goes on for a few minutes before Thumper pulls her diamond-encrusted knife on Bond.
BOND: “Where exactly were you hiding that?”
BAMBI: “You’re about to die and you want to know where she was hiding the knife?”
Bond reaches up and grabs Thumper’s arm, twisting it violently, causing the knife to fall to the floor. Bambi lunges at him, but Bond throws her to the floor on top of Thumper. The two women get up and begin to approach Bond in unison.
Thumper reaches out to stab him, but Bond grabs her arm and is in the process of trying to break it when he’s attacked from the other side by Bambi. He reaches out and grabs her by the head and smashes her into Thumper. They both fall to the ground unconscious. Bond collects himself and then calmly walks out of the private room.
Bond meets up with Tiffany at the lobby of the Palazzo hotel and casino later that night, with the pair making the decision to change hotels after the events of the day. Bond decides that they need to get back into the Cosmopolitan; someone in charge there knows something about the smuggling operation. Why go through all the trouble to have us killed if they didn’t?
The two begin making plans to sneak into the vault at The Cosmopolitan. Bond contacts Felix hoping to acquire blueprints for the hotel as well as any information he can find regarding their security measures.
In a very dark room, a man in silhouette can be seen dragging another man, who appears to be Agent 004, along the floor. 004 attempts to put up something of a fight, but it’s apparent that his energy and willpower are all but gone.
MAN: “Stay right here. Our boss has some fun in store for you.”
The next day, after a night of extensive planning, Bond and Tiffany put their plan into action. They must secure three separate items as keys to unlock the vault. The first being a DNA sample from Seraffimo Spang, the second being a sequence of ten numbers, which only the owners of the hotel and the floor manager know, and the third being a retina scan from Jack Spang.
Tiffany is put in charge of acquiring the DNA sample. Seraffimo eats lunch at the same time every day, 12:30 sharp, which presents Tiffany with the opportunity to make the acquisition. Dressed as a waitress, Tiffany approaches Seraffimo’s table upon the completion of his meal and clears it for him, making sure to save his wine glass. Once in the safety of the kitchen of the hotel restaurant, Tiffany takes a Q-Tip from her purse and swabs the saliva from the glass.
Meanwhile, Bond has a location on the floor manager. He follows him into a back room, where he roughs him up a bit, demanding the ten digit access code. After roughing the floor manager up for a few minutes, Bond secures the ten digit code. After securing the code, Bond knocks the floor manager unconscious and swaps clothes with him.
Jack Spang has now made his way onto the gambling floor. Bond approaches him, under the guise of being a manager, and asks him if he could assist him in a dispute between two patrons of the casino. Jack agrees and follows Bond. Bond leads Jack to the corridor where the opening to the vault was located. He pistol whips Jack in the back of the head, rendering him unconscious. He speaks to Tiffany through a microphone in his sleeve.
BOND: I’ve got the ten digit code and Jack Spang. Meet me at the vault.
Tiffany arrives at the vault door a few moments later. She enters the DNA sample into the appropriate receptacle, after which Bond inputs the ten digit code. He then holds Jack Spang’s limp body up to the retina scanner and peels back his eyelids. The scan is a success and the vault door opens.
Inside the vault they find, aside from a large fortune in cash, several dossiers. Bond flips through them, uncovering information regarding the smuggling ring. Based on the documents, it appears as though either Jack or Seraffimo Spang have signed off on everything that the smuggling ring did. Bond continues to dig deeper into the files, noting that the casino was being used as a front to launder money, some of which was being put into a private account marked for ‘experimentation’ under the account name ‘Shatterhand’. Bond continues reading, the information contained within leading him to believe that there was a possibility that this Shatterhand was in fact the “death collector” that MI6 was so desperate to track down.
Bond and Tiffany exit the vault, stashing Jack Spang’s body into a janitorial cart and wheeling him out of the casino for questioning.
Later, at sunset, Bond pushes a blindfolded, and now conscious, Jack Spang towards the railing of the Hoover Dam Bypass. The wind is whipping a bit and Jack Spang is visibly shaking. Bond silently instructs Tiffany to attach a bungee cord to Jack Spang’s feet while Bond ties off the other end to the railing of the bridge. Bond threatens Spang into giving up information on the smuggling operation that runs out of his casino. When Spang does not respond, Bond pushes Spang over the railing of the bridge, sending him plummeting towards the dry riverbed below. Bond and Tiffany can hear him screaming as he falls and then bounces against the tightening cord a couple of times. Bond pulls Spang back up. He rips the blindfold off so that Spang can see what is going on. He gives Spang another chance; Spang doesn’t answer yet again.
Bond throws Spang off the bridge again, this time letting a little slack out of the cord so that he would come closer to hitting the dry river bed below. Once again, Bond pulls Spang back up. This time, Spang is more cooperative. Spang acquiesces that he hires the muscle for the operation, but his brother runs the entire thing.
Bond pushes Spang off the bridge again, letting yet more slack out of the cord, sending Spang even closer to the river bed. When Bond pulls him back up, Spang is in a talkative mood. He admits to have hired Bambi and Thumper to kill him and that they work for an organization called CHAOS. Bond takes the cigarette that is dangling from his mouth and presses it against Spang’s cheek. He cries out in pain. He then asks what CHAOS does. Spang insists that no one knows much about them or about the mysterious Shatterhand, other than he has an island somewhere in the Pacific.
At that, Bond thanks Spang for his helpfulness and pushes him off the bridge for the final time. He takes his knife and cuts the bungee cord, sending Spang to his death. The sound of his body crashing to the dry river bed can be heard as Bond and Tiffany make their way back to the car.
As Bond and Tiffany are driving back to the city, a black SUV pulls up behind them and rams them. He looks in the rearview mirror and sees Bambi and Thumper, whom he recognizes as the two strippers who had tried to kill him earlier.
Bond does his best to avoid them but begins to lose control of the car once Thumper leans out the window of the SUV and shoots out one of the tires. Bambi pulls the SUV alongside Bond’s car and knocks them off the side of the road. Bambi jumps out of the car and makes her way to Bond’s car. She shoots out his window so that she can have a word with him.
BAMBI: “Just think of it this way. You’ll be reunited with your wife her soon. I trust you’ll put up more of a fight than she did, though.”
Before Bond can respond to Bambi’s comment, Thumper floors the gas pedal on the SUV and crashes into Bond’s car again, sending him and Tiffany flying down a steep embankment. Thumper gets out and joins Bambi to watch Bond’s car tumble down the embankment. Thumper turns to Bambi and slaps her a high-five.
The next shot is of Bond and Tiffany struggling to get out of the badly mangled car. When they finally do get out, they check themselves for injuries which are nothing more than some cuts and bruises. Bond’s demeanor takes on a much more somber form than it had at any other point with Tiffany up to this point, which she doesn’t recognize at first due to the shock of the last few minutes. Tiffany asks what that was all about and Bond admits that the two of them gave him a lap dance last night and tried to kill him.
As they walk, Tiffany notices the change in Bond’s demeanor. Tiffany begins to ask about Bond’s wife; Bond pauses for a moment before deciding to let Tiffany in a bit, recalling Tiffany’s murder just a few weeks prior. Tiffany consoles Bond and admits that part of the reason she’s been so short with Bond is her own trust issues with men, which she says she’ll consider explaining more to Bond later.
The two spend a while walking back to the city and to their hotel. Bond showers and then goes down to the casino of the Pallazo for a while. He does well at the tables, pocketing a decent sum of money before deciding to take a walk down the strip.
While walking he sees Bambi and Thumper heading back towards The Cosmopolitan. Bond decides to follow them. He makes his way into the hotel and follows them to a private elevator, which they take up. Bond leaves the hotel, but makes note of the private elevator.
In the early morning hours, Bond returns to The Cosmopolitan. He subdues a guard at the back of the establishment and works his way into the maintenance room of the hotel. He finds an entrance to the private elevator shaft that Bambi and Thumper had taken. He climbs down to the elevator and opens the hatch on top and climbs into the lift. There is only one button, which makes the decision easy for Bond. He takes the elevator most of the way to its destination before it comes to a stop.
Bond waits for a few minutes, hoping the elevator will continue upward again, but it doesn’t. Bond climbs up to the ceiling of the elevator car and opens the hatch, climbing outside of the car. He looks up and sees that it isn’t very far, so he climbs one of the cables up towards the penthouse. When he reaches the top, he climbs onto the narrow landing where the elevator doors are, steadying himself with one of the cables, and pries the doors open. He steps into the penthouse, drawing his Walther and screwing the silencer onto the end of the barrel.
The elevator opens up on a lavish hallway. Immediately, Bond notices that something is different about this penthouse, but he doesn’t know what until he gets further inside. Virtually everything is made of diamonds. The twinkle in what little light makes it way in through the floor to ceiling glass that constitutes the penthouse’s walls.
Bond makes his way through the penthouse, coming close to what he assumes is the bedroom. The door is cracked open slightly. Bond looks in and sees Bambi and Thumper passed out in bed together. He continues on until he comes to a room that would be best described as the study. There is a single desk in the middle of the room, on top of which rests a computer. Bond finds that the computer is already on and not password protected. He begins poking around, looking for information on the Spangs, their connections with SPECTRE and Blofeld, etc. He comes up empty, as there is nothing on the computer to implicate Bambi and Thumper in any of it.
Bond is about ready to leave when he feels a gun pressed against the back of his head.
THUMPER: “Stand up and move away from the desk. I don’t want your blood on the computer.”
Bond did as he was told. He stood up and began slowly backing up towards Thumper. He then spun around quickly, grabbing her wrist, twisting, and quickly relieving her of the gun. Like everything else in the penthouse, he found it to be diamond encrusted. The gun falls to the floor. Thumper dives after it, recovering it before Bond can stop her. She stands up, but finds that Bond has rearmed himself with his silenced PPK.
As this happens, Bambi bursts into the room, holding a large diamond encrusted knife, ready for a fight. Bond pulls the trigger before seeing her, killing Thumper, who falls to the ground. Bond lowers the pistol and sees Bambi standing in the doorway. He aims the gun at her, but quickly lowers it when he sees her devastated reaction. She runs past Bond and falls to the floor, cradling Thumper’s body in her arms, getting blood on her otherwise pristine silk robe.
Bond walks towards the door and then stops in the doorway. He turns back to Bambi.
BOND: “I’m sorry.”
BAMBI: “No you’re not. Please, just go ahead and kill me.”
BOND: “I’m not going to kill you. Make this a turning point in your life. Your actions have cost you the woman you love. That’s something I have to carry with me every day, and now you do as well.”
Bambi simply stares at Bond, completely devastated.
BOND: “But, if you come after me, I will not hesitate.
With that, Bond turns and leaves, leaving Bambi alone.
Fade to black
It is morning when we rejoin the film. Bond enters his hotel room for the first time since killing Thumper. Waiting for him in his hotel room is Tiffany, with a table set for breakfast and a room service cart sitting next to the table keeping the food she had ordered warm. When Bond asks what it is, Tiffany responds that it’s a peace offering for being so rude to him. Bond sits down at the table and begins to eat. As they eat, Tiffany lets Bond in a bit on her past; she admits that she was raped when she was younger while on a trip to Europe with a few friends. She was kidnapped and nearly sold into the slave trade. Thankfully she escaped, but it still haunts me to this day, and I still have severe trust issues when it comes to men.
Bond is unsure how to respond to this revelation, so he continues to eat in silence for a few moments, finally expressing his condolences. They continue to talk about less serious matters as they finish breakfast. Bond suggests that they go back to The Cosmopolitan to try to find out more information about Seraffimo Spang and Shatterhand.
As they ride the elevator down to the lobby, gas starts pouring into the elevator car. After struggling for a few moments, Bond and Tiffany collapse to the floor, nearly unconscious. The last thing that Bond sees before blacking out is the blurry image of the door opening and a man, who the audience recognizes as Seraffimo Spang, stepping into the elevator.
When Bond wakes up, he is at first unable to determine through his blurry vision where he is. As his vision clears, he finds himself in an extremely old fashioned looking room. He is startled at first, wondering if he is actually dead, as the room he is currently occupying is clearly not something that one would find in the present day world. He also notices that his clothes have been taken and that he is left in only his underwear.
Lying in the bed next to him is Tiffany, who is still out and, like Bond, she is left in only her underwear. He spends a few moments trying to wake her up, which he is eventually successful in doing. Tiffany looks around the room with a startled look on her face.
Bond gets up and walks around the room. There is a door opposite the bed, which he opens, to find a closet full of extremely old-fashioned clothes. Bond tosses a dress onto the bed for Tiffany to put on and he then pulls out an outfit that looks like something an old gunslinger would wear in a Western movie.
Once they are dressed, they cautiously exit the room, unsure of what they are going to find on the other side. After navigating some rickety stairs they find themselves in an old saloon which is bustling with activity. There are a lot of people, Bond would guess somewhere in the 300-400 range, carrying on and having a good time, all dressed similarly to Bond and Tiffany.
They all stop and stare at Bond and Tiffany once they notice their presence in the room. Bond quickly ushers Tiffany out of the saloon. Outside is what can only be described as an old western town, with the one main street running through the middle with old wooden buildings lining the sides of the street.
At the far end of the street there is a building which Bond concludes is a town hall of sorts and the two begin making their way to it.
Inside, they find a lady sitting at a front desk, filling out paperwork by hand with a quill pen. Tiffany suggests that she try a computer to which the receptionist asks what on earth she’ talking about. Confused, Tiffany backs off and lets Bond do the talking. Bond asks who’s in charge, and the receptionist directs him to the sheriff, whom she says will be back shortly.
As they begin to head back towards the saloon, the sheriff enters the building. Bond recognizes him as Seraffimo Spang. Spang welcomes them to Spectreville, and when Bond refers to him as Spang, he insist on being called ‘sheriff’. Bond knows that he’s getting nowhere, fast. Seraffimo, Bond concludes, is either clearly insane or the most eccentric person he’s ever seen. Seraffimo excuses himself and invites Bond and Tiffany to enjoy Spectreville.
Bond escorts Tiffany back to the saloon, where they take a seat at the bar and order a beer each. Bond makes an assumption that they won’t have vodka there for him.
They sit and drink for a while, in silence, trying to make sense of what is going on. Suddenly, the saloon doors spring open and the crowd falls silent to the sudden cry of murder. Bond turns around, not finding it the least bit surprising that the day was growing stranger by the second. Seraffimo points towards Bond and Tiffany at the bar. Seraffimo screams that Bond and Tiffany killed his brother. Seraffimo’s deputies approach Bond and Tiffany. They secure Tiffany but Bond puts up a bit of a fight before being subdued by a few of the “locals”. Seraffimo announces that they will be hanged in public in thirty minutes.
The crowd roars in applause as Bond and Tiffany are taken to the jail to prepare for execution. A half hour later, Bond and Tiffany are being dragged to the trees that had been planted in the otherwise bare town square. The nooses are being hung around their necks as the crowd starts to gather around.
Bond asks that they settle this like gentleman, in an old fashioned duel. Seraffimo admits that he’d prefer that, as it would give him a chance to kill Bond himself. Seraffimo walks back towards the police station and emerges with a gun. He hands it to Bond.
SERAFFIMO: “May the best man win.”
BOND: “He will.”
The two men stand back to back. A man emerges from the crowd to count the paces. Both men take a step forward. They step forward again. Bond’s trigger finger is already getting itchy. He’s killed many men before, but not under such strange circumstances and never as part of a duel. This was new to him while he was sure that Seraffimo has done this once or twice before.
The camera stays on both of the men, switching back and forth from one to the other as the rest of the paces are counted off. Bond is preparing to turn quickly at ‘ten’ and kill Seraffimo. At the count of ten, Bond spins quickly and pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. The gun has jammed on him, most likely a deliberate malfunction on the part of Seraffimo.
A gunshot rings out as Bond tries to duck quickly, knowing he’s exposed after the gun jammed. The bullet hits Bond in the shoulder. He falls to the ground, bleeding. When he looks up, Seraffimo is standing right over top of him. Bond gets to his feet and dusts himself off, wincing at the pain shooting through his shoulder.
Instead of saying anything in response to Seraffimo, he punches the man right in the face, breaking his nose, which begins bleeding almost immediately.
The crowd that had gathered for the execution has become restless and angry that Bond had assaulted their sheriff. Some of the townsmen step forward to try to apprehend Bond. Bond makes quick work of them and turns back to Seraffimo.
Seraffimo at this point is worried for his own safety. He knows that Bond has killed his brother and Thumper, brutally in both counts, and has just survived a gunshot wound and an attack by four of his best men in the town. He takes off towards the saloon and mounts one of the horses tied up there and takes off for the desert.
Bond sprints to acquire another horse with Tiffany following close behind. They mount a horse and begin chasing after Seraffimo. Seraffimo thinks that he has gotten away until he turns around and sees Bond and Tiffany over his shoulder. He reaches for the rope at his side and makes a makeshift lasso out of it, which proves to be difficult while riding a horse. Once he finishes this, Bond is close enough to make his plan work.
He tosses the lasso at Bond, hoping to get him by the neck for a quick kill. He misses, and instead gets hold of Bond’s arm. He tightens the lasso and Bond is dragged off of his own horse, leaving Tiffany alone atop it. Bond is dragged for a long distance behind Seraffimo’s horse. While being dragged, Bond is able to grab hold of a rock which he uses to try to sever the rope. It takes him a long while, but he manages to do it, allowing Seraffimo to continue riding off into the distance.
A bit later, Tiffany manages to catch up and finds Bond’s badly beaten body lying in the desert. She gets off of the horse and motions for it to stay which, thankfully for her, it does. She kneels beside Bond, who is conscious but badly hurt. She gives Bond a half-hearted smile in the hopes that it would give him some hope. Bond manages a small smile back, which can barely be seen behind the pain in his face. Tiffany leans down and gives Bond a kiss.
Tiffany assists Bond to his feet and then helps him climb up onto the horse. She sits directly in front of him on the horse so that he can lean against her while she navigates their way out of the desert.
BOND: “Do you have any idea where you’re going?”
TIFFANY: “Not a clue.”
They ride off into the distance.
Fade to black
Tiffany is sitting next to Bond’s hospital bed. Bond is asleep. Felix Leiter walks into the room. Tiffany briefs Felix on everything that happened to her and Bond, how they were captured and taken to Spectreville, although its exact location was uncertain. Felix then thanks Tiffany and leaves her alone with Bond. After a couple of hours, Bond wakes up.
Bond is surprised to find Tiffany still at his side; Tiffany responds that she owed it to him after he saved her life twice since they met. As she’s saying this, she crawls into the bed with Bond, which is a tight fit given the lack of room in a hospital bed. She places a kiss on Bond’s lips, which he reciprocates after a few seconds. They kiss for a few more seconds before they part. Bond looks at Tiffany, who has now fallen asleep from exhaustion. Bond places a kiss on her forehead and then drifts off to sleep again himself.
A few days later, Bond has been released from the hospital and is back in his hotel room at the Pallazo. There is a knock on the door. Bond answers it to find Felix standing on the other side. Felix enters the room. Bond offers him a drink. Felix informs Bond that they’ve picked up a location on Spang; he’s currently aboard his yacht on Lake Mead. The two begin to consider options for attacking Spang. Bond asks if Spang has any enemies who would like to see him killed, to which Felix responds that Spang was involved with some pretty nasty people a while back that he screwed over. They tried to have him killed but he managed to buy a couple of them off. They accepted the money, because times were hard and they needed it, but they’ve never forgotten about it.
A couple of hours later, Bond is pouring over several dossiers of Spang’s former gangster friends. A common link that he finds is that, like Spang, several of the others enjoy yachting on Lake Mead as well. Bond hands the dossiers back to Felix and asks him to try to round up as many of them as he can. As Felix is leaving, Tiffany emerges from the shower with only a towel wrapped around her. Bond explains that they’ve found Spang on his yacht on Lake Mead. They’re going to pay him a visit later. Sarcastically, Tiffany responds that she’s always wanted to see Lake Mead.
Without warning, she sits in Bond’s lap, straddling him, and pulls him into a kiss. Tiffany tries to seduce Bond, but the secret agent turns her away, explaining that he just lost his wife. Tiffany thanks Bond for helping her with her issues. Bond softens for a moment, assuring Tiffany that she’ll find someone better than him when this is all over. Tiffany has a disappointed look on her face as she pulls away from Bond and looks into his eyes. She places a chaste kiss on Bond’s cheek and then removes herself from him.
Bond and Tiffany stand on the deck of one of the several yachts that had been convened by Spang’s former friends. He addresses them, telling them that the plan is to distract Spang by driving aggressively near his yacht, which would allow Bond to sneak on board and kill him.
Their yachts make a turn around the bend and see Spang’s yacht straight ahead of them. The yachts begin to pick up speed as they approach Spang’s yacht. As they get closer, Bond finds himself amazed at the size of Spang’s yacht, which is a 390 foot Russian mega-yacht.
As the yachts get closer to Spang’s, Bond and Tiffany prepare to jump from the yacht they currently occupy into the water to infiltrate Spang’s yacht. Once they are in the water, they make their way onto Spang’s yacht, which they can see from underwater is being battered back and forth by the gangsters’ yachts. They slip aboard Spang’s boat and strip off their wetsuits. Bond draws his pistol and Tiffany keeps behind him as they work their way through the yacht to the control room where Spang undoubtedly is.
When they reach the control room, Spang immediately bolts for the other door when he sees them. He makes his way down to the lower levels of the yacht, where he has a modified Super Aviator submarine. Spang climbs in and begins to flee the scene. As Bond and Tiffany rush down to the lower levels to follow Spang, they are stopped by Bambi. Bond pulls his gun on her. Bambi helps them out, revealing that there’s a jet ski down on the cargo hold.
Bond and Tiffany follow Bambi into the cargo hold, where she pulls the cover off of the jet ski for Bond. Bond and Tiffany climb onto the jet ski. Bond thanks her. Bambi pauses for a moment before responding.
BAMBI: “You’re welcome. And, I’m sorry. We’re both professionals doing a job. I shouldn’t have made it personal like that.”
Bond nods his acknowledgment and fires up the jet ski and begins his pursuit of Spang. As Bond is racing across the water, suddenly the Super Aviator breaches the surface of the water and hovers a few feet over the water. Bond looks on puzzled as the hovering mini-sub begins racing towards the shore. Bond puts the jet ski at top speed in pursuit. As he approaches the shore, Spang loses control of the Super Aviator and crash lands it on the desert sand. Several moments later, Bond makes it to shore and begins to frantically pursue Spang on foot.
After running for quite a while, Spang ducks into a salt mine, firing his pistol into the air, which clears out the workers. Bond follows him into the mine, where the workers have left on a salt granulator. When Spang sees Bond over his shoulder, he turns to fire at him, but he is out of bullets. The two engage in a knock-down, drag-out fight. After several minutes, both men are beaten to a pulp and lying on the salty ground. The salt gets into their wounds, which is very painful for the both of them.
Spang finally works up the ability to stand up, and makes his way over to Bond. He stands over him, and picks up Bond’s pistol from the ground. He aims it at Bond.
Before Spang is able to pull the trigger, Tiffany hits him with a metal pipe that she had found lying on the ground. Spang falls to the ground in pain. Bond stands up and drags him over to the salt granulator. Bond interrogates Spang, offering him a choice: If he tells him where he can find Shatterhand, he’ll consider putting a bullet in Spang’s head instead of putting him in the salt granulator. Spang thinks about his options for a few moments. He then tells Bond the coordinates for the island. Bond then picks him up and begins to lower him into the granulator.
SERAFFIMO: “You lying bastard.”
BOND: “I didn’t lie. I said I’d consider it.”
Spang’s screams are loud as he’s fed to the granulator. They stop a moment later, and the salt that is spewed out the end of the machine begins to come out red.
BOND: “He always was the salt of the earth.”
Tiffany lets out a slight laugh at Bond’s comment. They then turn and leave the mine.
Bond is walking out of the hotel room for the final time, trying to leave before Tiffany wakes up. He is unsuccessful. When she asks where he’s going, Bond replies that he has business to attend to. Tiffany knows that it has to do with the information Spang gave Bond before he killed him. Bond can’t lie to Tiffany anymore. Tiffany then asks Bond to promise that he’ll come back and see her after he’s done. Bond can’t make that promise but says that he’ll do his best. Bond turns and leaves the hotel.
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean
Bond is hovering a good distance over the ocean in a Skybike which he had launched from a nearby island. Bond is unable to see the coordinates given to him by Seraffimo due to a heavy fog that has settled over the area. He becomes frustrated with his inability to find it and begins to turn back when the Skybike is clipped, but not hit directly (due to the fog) by a projectile of some sort. It sends the Skybike spinning in the air. Bond ejects and falls into the ocean while the Skybike spins further out of control and crashes into the sea some distance away.
Bond begins to swim towards where the island was supposed to be according to the coordinates. He swims for a bit until he bumps into something in the water, which is part of the wreckage of a boat poking out over the surface of the water. He rests against it for a moment to catch his breath, taking a look around to see that there are many other wrecked ships around him. He decides that he must be getting closer.
He continues to swim until he finds the water becoming shallower. He is eventually able to stand and walk his way out of the water, finding himself on a small sandy beach with a thick forest staring him right in the face. A small, ominous looking dirt path is the only thing that cuts through the foliage. Bond steps into the forest, noting that the tree-life on display here is not the kind that is native to this part of the world. The further Bond walks into the forest, the more disturbing it becomes. He looks up and is able to see bodies hanging from the trees and others lying on the ground, some covered in moss or other forms of plant life.
Bond walks for a while, discovering more bodies along the way, until he can see what appears to be a castle looming in the distance. When Bond finally makes it to the castle, he comes to the edge of a cliff that seemingly goes down forever. There is no way across to the castle that Bond can see.
Bond stands there for a while, tired and frustrated, thinking about his next move. As he is thinking, the drawbridge on the castle lowers across the canyon giving Bond a way in.
Bond walks across the bridge and into the castle, which he finds to be just as odd as the parts of the island he had already traveled through. Strange plant life is growing all throughout the castle, plants that Bond or, he guessed, nobody else had ever seen before. Bond can feel himself immediately become lightheaded upon entering the castle, but he presses forward.
He walks a bit further into the structure when an ominous voice rings out through the castle.
SHATTERHAND: “Welcome…Mr. Bond.”
Bond stops in his tracks, curious as to how whoever was speaking knew his name. He continues walking.
SHATTERHAND: “I’m so glad you…could join us.”
Next Bond finds himself in some kind of dining room, with a very long wooden table running down the middle of the rectangular room. Vines are growing all over everything in the room, including the table, which looks to be slightly rotting. An unlit candle sits in the middle of the table, looking as though it were last lit many years ago.
He sees something at the other end of the table. He walks towards it, finding a body in the chair at the far end. It is the body of Agent 004. Bond continues walking, exiting the dining room. He steps into what can only be described as a throne room. It’s empty, save for a single man sitting in a large throne-like chair at the front of the room. He is dressed in a long, black robe, much like one would expect someone coming from royalty to wear. He has shoulder-length, unkempt hair, which is graying.
Bond and Shatterhand engage in a lengthy back and forth in which Shatterhand explains that he runs experiments on the island. He hopes to be able to find new biological agents to be used in warfare. His specialty is chemicals that drive the human mind to suicide. Shatterhand guesses that Bond is there on a vanity mission of sorts, to eliminate the Spang brothers and Shatterhand himself as a way to prove himself. Bond then asks why Shatterhand has secluded himself on the island when many governments would pay you top dollar to do research for them. Shatterhand responds with a question: How many people has Bond killed on his journey there?
SHATTERHAND: “It would seem as though the moniker ‘Death Collector’ could apply as equally to you as it could to me. You killed five, maybe more, to get to me on this current mission, and no doubt scores more prior to this assignment. You’re a killing machine, much like myself, but you hide behind the authority of the British government and the protections from prosecution that they provide you.”
As Shatterhand is speaking, the room starts to go dark. Bond’s light-headed feeling from earlier is now forming into a full-blown headache that borders on being a migraine.
SHATTERHAND: “I’m not ‘The Death Collector’, Mr. Bond…you are. Those people you see out there in the forest, they came of their own free will to take their lives, because they knew I had a service that would provide them an easy way to do that. You collect the dead all because a woman behind a desk tells you to. You collect the dead for the British government and then amass a nice little bounty for it.”
Bond thinks for a moment, and begins to wonder if Shatterhand is indeed correct. As he ponders this point, he begins to feel the pain in his head increase dramatically. Bond is now doubled down on the floor in pain. He looks up, and sees images of Tracy projected on the walls, what would appear to be videos taken of them at their wedding, as well as of her prior to meeting Bond. Shatterhand taunts Bond that Tracy’s death was organized so that Bond would finally crack, that it would bring him right to that point, kneeling down in front of Shatterhand, ready to die. Bond cries out and draws his weapon. He tries to aim it at Shatterhand, but he feels the grief welling up in his body along with the anger, the hurt, and the sadness. He puts the gun to his own head.
As Shatterhand goads him on, Bond struggles against himself for a few moments before he’s finally able to bring the gun away from himself and fire a shot in Shatterhand’s direction. The bullet clips Shatterhand in the shoulder. Shatterhand is aghast; Bond is the first to resist the plants’ toxins.
BOND: “Looks like your luck just ran out.”
He first another shot into Shatterhand, but not a fatal one. He approaches the man and asks him who ordered the hit. Shatterhand replies that it was CHAOS, but he knows not who runs the mysterious organization as, living there, he is very much out of the loop. Bond tries to fire another shot to kill Shatterhand, but finds he is out of bullets. Knowing that he now has a chance, Shatterhand fights back. The two men struggle for minutes, until Bond gains the upper hand. He wraps one of the vines growing off of the wall around Shatterhand’s neck, eventually killing him.
Bond stumbles out of the castle, spending quite a bit of time walking along the trail back to the beach. The images that he had seen of Tracy in the castle continue to haunt his mind.
We cut back now to a shot of Tiffany in her hotel room in Vegas, waiting for Bond to return.
Now back in the forest, Bond stumbles out onto the beach. He drops to his knees on the sand, overcome with exhaustion and emotion.
We cut back to another shot of Tiffany. She can sense that something is not right, which the audience can see through her body language. She tries calling Bond, but gets no answer.
Bond continues to kneel on the sand. He looks around for something he can use to make some kind of makeshift boat to escape the island with. Suddenly, as he is about to stand, two masked men come sprinting out of the forest. They put a sack over Bond’s head and drag him into the forest. Just before he disappears back into the forest, through the black cloth of the sack Bond can vaguely see a familiar face standing on the beach, watching him disappear into the forest, puffing on a cigarette.
Cut to black...
JAMES BOND WILL RETURN