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I'm the James Bond GANGSTER.


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#1 ChickenStu

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 10:09 PM

I have read all of Ian Fleming's, Robert Markham's one, John Pearson's one, both of Christopher Wood's, all of Gardner's, all of Benson's, all of Higson's, and of Westbrook's and now Faulk's, Deaver's and Boyd's. I added them all up earlier. That's over 50 books I've read there on one subject! 

 

I think that means... I've read the whole damn lot! 

 

They've now all gone in a big box under my bed - waiting for my kids should they ever want to read them one day (my oldest girl has been reading SilverFin on and off). 

 

Really rather pleased with myself!  B)

 

I am the top dog of 007. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(sorry  :blush: )



#2 AMC Hornet

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 10:28 PM

Sorry, Stu, but you're not the gangster until you've read the books enough to be able to quote verbatim any passage anyone mentions and remember which book and what chapter it was in.

 

Like the rest of us here....



#3 ChickenStu

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 10:33 PM

Sorry, Stu, but you're not the gangster until you've read the books enough to be able to quote verbatim any passage anyone mentions and remember which book and what chapter it was in.

 

Like the rest of us here....

 

LOL... I guess that's the next big test isn't it? 

 

This thread is a joke btw, don't mean to put anyone's noses out of joint. I've got a mate who really IS THE BOND GANGSTER. Sadly however he uses another forum and is inexplicably on a "year's break" from Our Man. 

 

Seriously though. This guy is convinced that George Lazenby is the best one ever. Many may scoff at the statement... but when he actually states his case for that opinion he actually really makes some startling points!



#4 AMC Hornet

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Posted 15 July 2014 - 10:57 PM

Too many people confuse 'best' with 'favorite' and can get very shirty when you don't agree with them.

 

I like George because I can identify with him: out of nowhere, a tremendous shot he couldn't handle, followed by obscurity, criticism and finally acceptance and belated recognition.

 

Who's to say any of us could have done any better?



#5 Guy Haines

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Posted 16 July 2014 - 06:01 AM

I like George Lazenby because he was my first James Bond. I'm under no illusions that he was the best actor in the role, or the most successful - he sabotaged his own success as Bond, it seems to me, by taking bad advice about the future of the series.

 

Nevertheless, he introduced me to the series - he and OHMSS got me hooked. And if it hadn't been for the films, I wouldn't have read the books. And now, I'm enjoying listening to the unabridged audio CDs!



#6 ChickenStu

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Posted 16 July 2014 - 07:28 AM

Too many people confuse 'best' with 'favorite' and can get very shirty when you don't agree with them.

 

I like George because I can identify with him: out of nowhere, a tremendous shot he couldn't handle, followed by obscurity, criticism and finally acceptance and belated recognition.

 

Who's to say any of us could have done any better?

 

Agreed. I too like Lazenby. I do think his performance was pretty good. 



#7 Double Naught spy

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Posted 17 July 2014 - 11:04 PM

Chicken Stu,

 

No doubt, what you have accomplished is truly admirable - hats off to you, sir! - but your journey is far from complete, Grasshopper.  

 

First, there's more reading material for you to master:

 

1) The complete collection of Titan's James Bond newspaper dailies. 

2) DC Comics' Dr. No movie adaptation

3) Marvel Comics' For Your Eyes Only & Octopussy adaptations

3) Eclipse Comics' License to Kill adaptation

4) Eclipse and Dark Horse's original comics (Permission to Die, Serpent's Tooth, etc.)

5) Solo the novel (my fingers hurt typing that one!)

 

Second (and this will take some time), you need to read the novels and watch the films until you are utterly sick to death of them.  Then, after about a year or so of living in a 007-free zone, pick up a novel or watch a film and fall in love with them all over again.

 

And finally, you absolutely must live your life like 007 as much as possible.  Some personal examples:

 

1) I once rigged up my own, personal dart wrist watch (ala Moonraker) and wore it to school everyday (at least when the weather permitted long sleeves!)

 

2) There was a community clubhouse and pool in my childhood neighborhood.  Whenever there was a nighttime Christmas neighborhood party, etc. being held there, I'd dress all in black and sneak (escape!) out of my house.  I'd scout out the event from the nearby tree line and gather intelligence on all the intoxicated neighbors as an exercise in Spy Craft 101. (The adjoining swimming pool made it feel like I was spying on Largo's Palmyra estate! :) )

 

3) After getting my driver's license, my friends and I would drive around on remote roads of my town and have running bottle rocket fights.  The trick it to use a metal pipe to aim the rocket out the car window. 

 

4) Wear a tuxedo whenever possible.  Word of caution: I did this on my 21st birthday (legal drinking age in the States) and celebrated at a local nightclub.  But, as the night of dancing wore on, I took off my jacket to cool down.  Suddenly, total strangers were asking me for drinks.   It didn't occur to me until that moment - the only think separating me from the wait staff's uniforms was that jacket!   But, as the old saying goes about lemons and lemonade, I used the opportunity to hone my undercover skills and played the role of nightclub waiter and took their order.  Couldn't tell you how many folks that night waited impatiently for drinks that were destined never to be delivered to their table!

 

5) Save the world as many times as possible.  I do it all the time; it just takes some imagination.  For example, the guy who was riding my bumper earlier today - clearly in a hurry to get to his destination.  I'd like to think that he was some evil-doer with a very tight window of opportunity to meet with his contact to buy a nuclear bomb.  And, the fact that I maintained the proper speed limit, resulted in him arriving at the rendezvous too late to make his nefarious deal.  Mission accomplished.

 

Anyway, keep up the good work Chicken Stu.  I (and likely most... if not all on this site) enjoy living vicariously through you and you discovery of the diverse literary world of 007.



#8 ChickenStu

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 06:27 AM

Double Naught Spy

 

You're a funny guy!  :D

 

I DID read Solo my man! And from the looks of it I'm the only person here who enjoyed it! As for those comic books, I'll see what Amazon throws at me. I've got SilverFin: The Graphic Novel but I've not really had a chance to read it yet. I used to LOVE comic books, really LOVE them (I've quite the Superman collection!) - but it's kind of difficult to get myself in the mood to read them these days. 

 

As for the films - I have a bit of a tradition with those. November is officially James Bond Month in my house. Every November I do a marathon of the entire film series. To me, Bond has always been a kind of Autumn/Christmas thing. When I was a very young kid they were always on telly at Christmas, and when I was an older kid and Pierce Brosnan started doing new ones - they were always released in cinemas around Christmas - and still are to this day. It wouldn't feel right to watch them at any other time. 

 

As for the "Living like 007" - thanks for the advice.... but I don't want to watch my kids grow up from a prison cell!  ;)



#9 Grard Bond

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 01:05 PM

...and don't forget the GoldenEye comic!

Well, I have only part one, I don't think there's a part 2 or 3.



#10 glidrose

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 08:50 PM

You haven't read them all:

 

Mascott's "003 1/2"

Harvard Lampoon's "Alligator" and "Toadstool"

Hatfield's "The Killing Zone"

Connolly's "Bond Strikes Camp"

Self's "License to Hug"

 

Get cracking, lazyboots.



#11 AMC Hornet

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Posted 18 July 2014 - 10:53 PM

...except that 'The Killing Zone' was just a fanfic that Hatfield paid to have printed up as hardcover book, forging Charter's logo on the spine and 'acknowledging' Jonathan Cape for 'inviting' him to follow in Ian Fleming's footsteps in an introduction plagiarized - as was a lot of the book - from John Gardner's work (as well as Amis', Pearson's, and the scripts of NSNA, Magnum Force and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan).

 

It wasn't even good enough a fanfic to be worthy of gracing this site. If you're going to insist including it as a 'must' read then you have to include every amateur effort that anyone ever ran off their printers at home.

 

Vanity publishing does not a legitimate entry make.



#12 glidrose

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Posted 19 July 2014 - 08:40 PM



...except that 'The Killing Zone' was just a fanfic that Hatfield paid to have printed up as hardcover book, forging Charter's logo on the spine and 'acknowledging' Jonathan Cape for 'inviting' him to follow in Ian Fleming's footsteps in an introduction plagiarized - as was a lot of the book - from John Gardner's work (as well as Amis', Pearson's, and the scripts of NSNA, Magnum Force and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan).

 

It wasn't even good enough a fanfic to be worthy of gracing this site. If you're going to insist including it as a 'must' read then you have to include every amateur effort that anyone ever ran off their printers at home.

 

Vanity publishing does not a legitimate entry make.

 

I agree with a lot of what you say, but not everything. Hatfield claimed Glidrose, not Jonathan Cape invited him to write the book. Okay, so Hatfield plagiarized too many other works to mention... he was otherwise a published author. Name another frequently published "name author" who wrote his own vanity-published Bond fan-fiction. If you can, we'll include him too.



#13 AMC Hornet

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Posted 22 July 2014 - 12:31 AM

I took a chance with JC so as not to confuse anyone as to whether I meant Fleming's own publishing concern, or you.

 

I don't understand your second point, though - are you saying that if an otherwise legitimately published author had previously printed up his own, heavily-plagiarized fanfic, then he should be included as well?



#14 glidrose

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Posted 22 July 2014 - 06:05 PM

Yep. But strictly for completists. After all I include Self, Connolly and Cerf & Frith. And let's face it: "Alligator" comes awfully close to plagiarism at times without actually crossing the line.