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James Bond's top five health and safety nightmares


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#1 quantumofsolace

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 06:51 PM

independent 28 July 2013

5. Grappling with Jaws on the roof of a cable car in Rio.

- Neither of the men are wearing protective gloves, to say nothing of a hi-viz jacket. Jaws should really be wearing a mouth guard.

4. Driving an Aston Martin DB5 at high speed through a Swiss forest.

- Neither Bond nor Tilly Masterson are wearing a seatbelt. Some of those modifications to the Aston Martin are definitely not road illegal and the DVLA would not be happy about the multiple numberplates.

3. Driving a rocket boat down the Thames then dropping on to the Millennium Dome from a hot air balloon.

- Bond is flagrantly defying the Environment Agency's advice here to "avoid turning your boat near bridges, bends and locks". If he was upstream of Teddington, he'd be breaking the 5mph speed limit. As for jumping from the boat on to the rope that holds the hot air balloon, too many health and safety breaches to mention.

2. Driving a tank through St Petersburg.

- Several traffic bylaws clearly being contravened here, as well as the illegal destruction of a wall. Despite continually poking his head out of the tank, Bond is not wearing a helmet and, I suspect, not a seatbelt when inside it either.

1. Strapped to a gold table as a laser comes toward him.

- Despite the risk of potential blindness from the (clearly unlicensed) laser neither Bond nor Auric Goldfinger are wearing protective goggles. The restraint cuffs holding Bond to the gold table do not appear to conform to BSI standards.



#2 glidrose

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Posted 29 July 2013 - 10:34 PM

What happened to getting his bollocks crushed?



#3 Guy Haines

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 06:57 AM

I imagine our American Cbn members may be able to advise on the legal chapter and verse of it, but surely the entire car chase through the middle of Las Vegas in DAF violated almost every road traffic law in the state of Nevada?

 

The boat chase in LALD - how many laws of the state of Louisiana did Bond break there?

 

Theft of a fire engine in AVTAK. To say nothing of wilful misuse of its ladder. There must be a law against it in San Fransisco. And of course the theft and wilful destruction of a Parisian taxi earlier in the same film (Wasn't there a deleted scene where M has to bail out Bond from the local cop shop? A rare reminder that in the course of his duties, 007 not only has a licence to kill but, apparently, a licence to break every other law he can think of as well!)

 

I'd be interested to see the law in Gibraltar against driving a Land Rover through a wall, sending the local ape community flying!

 

Don't they have laws against bungee jumping at the side of a dam in Russia? Or jumping from a skyscraper in Vietnam and using the giant size portrait of its owner to break your fall? Try either of those in the UK and the H & S people would have a fit!

 

Closer to home, the entire Bond -v- Graves swordfight in DAD must have broken a few H & S rules. Good job the owners of the club were looking to redecorate the place, allegedly.

 

And, of course, the "parkour" chase around a Madagascan building site in CR. It's difficult to know where to start with that one. Perhaps that neither Bond nor his quarry were wearing hard hats in the workplace whilst chasing through the building, climbing up and jumping off cranes, and generally blowing the place to bits? ;)



#4 dtuba

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Posted 29 August 2013 - 02:43 AM

Outraged chefs, humiliated tailors, and apalled safety inspectors. The list is endless...



#5 Dustin

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Posted 29 August 2013 - 04:10 AM

I'd be interested to see the law in Gibraltar against driving a Land Rover through a wall, sending the local ape community flying!


I'm not absolutely sure, but I seem to remember you need a special drivers licence to use these tracks on the rock in the first place.