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If you personally knew/lived next door to Fleming's 007...


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#1 Double Naught spy

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 12:01 AM

Of course we all enjoy 007's exploits and adventures in the novels, but what about running across a real-life version of him?  Knowing what you know about his personality, character, habits, etc. would you (for example - if he moved in next door) actually like him as a neighbor, acquaintance, or even a friend? 

 

I'm not so sure I'd like him in real life and certainly wouldn't want him as a neighbor.   Although his personality traits make him a more entertaining character to read, I imagine him to be a brooding and aloof neighbor who would be out drinking and gambling until all hours of the night.   Or, if he stayed home during the evening, he be next door getting plastered and playing the Ink Spots waay too loud on his stereo in a futile effort to drown out the screams of the women he failed to protect that echo throughout his liquor-pickled mind.  Also, you'd have to deal with either (A) him having various women (imagine living next-door to brassy ex-gangster Tiffany Case. Yikes!) staying with him for a few months until their relationship devolved into a rancorous, never-ending argument or ( B) dealing with a revolving cavalcade of disgruntled cheating housewives popping in an out of his house at all hours of the day and night.  Not to mention that, unless you were prepared to talk about golf, gambling, underwater sports, liquor, or cars, any attempt to have a neighborly chat with him would be doomed from the start. 

 

Thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



#2 Eric Stromberg

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 12:26 AM

I'm sure others will have more serious and deeper thoughts on this, but I'd like to ask a few lighter questions just to break the ice with my new neighbor.

 

What is your workout routine?

 

Why do you appear to wax all from the neck down?

 

Why do you wear your trousers so tight?

 

(And now that I've got him warmed up...)

 

Was Vesper the real deal or did you string that little tart along just for the nookie?



#3 Major Tallon

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:45 AM

Brooding and aloof?  That makes Bond sound both morose and arrogant.  I'd go more for introspective and reserved, although it might be argued that the distinction is insignificant.  I presume your reference to "the screams of the women he failed to protect" came from Alec Trevelyan, not Ian Fleming, and I dispute the reference to a "liquor pickled mind."

 

Actually, I'm intriuged by your question.  I've often wondered if I'd like Bond personally, and I'm still not certain.

 

Bond is a man with few friendships, mostly male friends, and I don't think he'd make friends easily with individuals of either sex.  He would, however, be intensely loyal to the friends he had.  I imagine he'd be cordial if encountered casually, but he wouldn't invite neighbors over for a drink or a chat.  He doesn't seem to have many hobbies or interests, and I doubt he'd do small talk well.  As you note, he could talk a good line in golf, cards, or automobiles, and he impresses me as interested in people.  He doesn't have a television, so he wouldn't be watching that.  He drinks heavily, but he's not a mean or raucous drunk, and I doubt that his drinking would disrupt the neighbors.  If he played the phonograph (and we're not sure he owned one, despite his familiarity with the music), the music wouldn't be blaring.  He installed Tiffany Case in his spare bedroom, but there's no suggestion that he regularly has women sleep over. 

 

Thinking about it, were he to live next door, I think I'd probably sum him up with "I really don't know very much about him, but he seems a decent enough sort of fellow."



#4 freemo

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 02:42 AM

Away for long periods and when he isn't he's a creature of routine, and whatever his habits, he's pretty discreet. Ideal neighbour, then. Wish the one on the other side were more like him.

 

That housekeeper of his, on the other hand...



#5 AMC Hornet

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 04:24 AM

Thinking about it, were he to live next door, I think I'd probably sum him up with "I really don't know very much about him, but he seems a decent enough sort of fellow."

That's what people say when they find out that their neighbors were serial killers...



#6 Guy Haines

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 06:11 AM

I'm not sure Bond himself would attract attention, unless his enemies cottoned on to where he lived and tried to bump him off at home - not something they ever tried, as far as I recall, although his Scottish treasure, May, did complain one time about a door to door salesman trying to sell a TV set to him, which made Bond suspect he was under surveillance.

 

(However, if Smersh or SPECTRE did try an assassination attempt on 007 at home, well, I'd check my house insurance policy - I'm not sure it covers "collateral damage caused by acts of terrorism perpetrated by state sponsored assassins or representatives of global crime syndicates.")

 

Bond might not attract attention - Bond might not be at home most of the time, but on the occasions he was back his car might cause some comment, particularly the signs of "wear and tear" - bullet holes, etc. Again the car insurance policy would make for an interesting read!

 

Still, at least if 007 is away half the time, you could still have the odd "over the garden wall" chat with May, assuming she was so inclined, which I rather doubt.

 

So, James Bond as your neighbour. I doubt you would see much of him, but the whole neighbourhood would be left wondering.

 

(One more thing occurs to me. He's not at home all the time, he's in and out at irregular hours, he's got a flash car or two that looks beyond his means and has some rum looking damage done to it, and glamorous women keep visiting at odd hours. In this day and age it wouldn't surprise me if some busybody didn't shop him to the local police as a suspected drug dealer!)



#7 Double Naught spy

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 11:56 AM

Regarding Major Tallon's post:  In retrospect, your assessment of 007 being "introspective and reserved" is a far more accurate one than my "brooding and aloof" (well, at least the "brooding" part).  When I posted my comments, I was thinking of Bond more towards the end of the series (Thunderball onward) when he was drinking too much, etc. followed by his depression following Tracy's murder.  Major, thanks for your thoughtful comments/corrections. 

 

Somewhere out there in 'fiction land', Bond is saying to me, "You're one talk.  Given your penchant of mischaracterizing and misjudging me, perhaps the real question should be, "Would you want Double Naught Spy as your neighbor!"  Ouch!



#8 Trevelyan 006

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 09:54 PM

Away for long periods and when he isn't he's a creature of routine, and whatever his habits, he's pretty discreet. Ideal neighbour, then. Wish the one on the other side were more like him.

 This is pretty close. I'd probably find him a bit obscure or strange for not being around very often but, other than that, an ideal neighbor really...

 

I imagine he'd keep to himself yet very cordial if I were to run into him while he was at the end of his driveway fetching the paper (on the odd chance he was home). The scar would throw me off a bit too. I'd constantly wonder how it ended up there but would not pester the man with the question (most likely). 


Edited by Trevelyan 006, 24 July 2013 - 10:01 PM.


#9 Dustin

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 02:12 PM

Difficult question. From Fleming's descriptions Bond leads a relatively solitary life. I wouldn't be surprised if even most of those affairs with married women start and end on the backseat of the Bentley. It somehow feels as if few of the women actually come into Bond's parlour, so the alternative would be either secluded hotels in suburbia or hasty meetings after dark at their homes when hubby is away. On balance the Bentley seems like the better choice. Strange Bond had it rebuilt to a two-seater...

 

Today living next door to a man in Bond's business would probably not attract a lot of attention, provided a few basic conspirational rules are observed (and we can safely assume SIS has this kind of expertise down pat by now; data and documents are their weak spot...). People visiting him would probably just notice the absence of any potted plants. Or the conspicuous brand new ones, depending upon his grade of resignation after repeatedly returning home to find the parched cadavers of his last consignment of green furniture after an extended trip to Japan. Of course Fleming gave Bond his housekeeper to look after such matters. But today such a position could only be held by a person vetted down to the bone marrow, so that Bond would likely have to wait decades before getting the OK to hire May.

 

Fleming in his books gave Bond a strange kind of semi-celebrity status, effectively stripping him of any kind of pretence of a cover to the point of having even an American civilian, who happened to be at the Casino Royale at the time of Bond's first adventure, being vaguely in-the-know about Bond's background. So perhaps one would have to compare having Bond as neighbour not to living next-door to a secret agent, but to a kind of diplomat? I remember living next door to an Israeli consul when I was a kid and he and his family were absolutely ordinary people, really the opposite of spectacular. The only thing that made his neighbours nervous was the mirror he used to inspect the underbody of his Opel before starting it. That used to disturb a few people for some reason. Would Bond have something similar, a remote-controlled starter for his ride? Perhaps, only it would probably be of little use, should a would-be assailant just place a bomb on the road and wait for Bond to pass by.

 

Thankfully most of Bond's adversaries don't go for cheap and aim to destroy the myth of Bond, along with his physical existence, thus giving him opportunity to escape and save the world. Otherwise living next door to him would be a fate few would be prepared to endure, what with all those snipers, bombs going off, characters of doubtful repute hanging out in the vicinity and a new face every few years. Bond would soon have to move to a barracks and work on his handicap at a special weapons training centre.   


Edited by Dustin, 25 July 2013 - 02:14 PM.


#10 QLink

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 02:06 AM

I have to agree with those here who say Bond would make a good neighbor. He's quiet, not likely to ask to borrow lawn equipment any time soon, and he has really nice cars. I'm guessing May would be fun to talk to as well, as long as you didn't ask her anything about Mr. Bond and his goings on.

#11 quantumofsolace

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 02:59 PM

youd hardly notice he was there. he isnt a lot of the time



#12 Civilian_General Brasshat_*

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 11:58 AM

 

Thinking about it, were he to live next door, I think I'd probably sum him up with "I really don't know very much about him, but he seems a decent enough sort of fellow."

That's what people say when they find out that their neighbors were serial killers...

 

 

Too true. 



#13 Major Tallon

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 08:46 PM

 

 

Thinking about it, were he to live next door, I think I'd probably sum him up with "I really don't know very much about him, but he seems a decent enough sort of fellow."

That's what people say when they find out that their neighbors were serial killers...

 

 

Too true. 

 

 

Well, Bond does have a license to kill.