To help cheer my pal Eric Stromberg up, I've been coming up with ways of making a "new and improved" version of OHMSS.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
Which do you prefer...
"California Girls" heard during the OHMSS ski chase?
That blasted slide whistle from TMWTGG heard whenever Bond beds a woman in OHMSS.
Bond does the Octopussy Tarzan yell every five minutes no matter the situation
OHMSS with a laugh track,
Bond accidentally kills Tracy
I'll hunt you down, glidrose...for making me choose AVTAK over anything.
Let's pretend Telly Savalas wasn't available. Do you prefer...
Woody Allen as Blofeld
Joe Don Baker as Blofeld
Groucho Marx as Blofeld
Let's pretend Diana Rigg wasn't available. Do you prefer...
Fran Drescher (with laugh) as Tracy.
Rosie O'Donnell as Tracy.
Groucho Marx in drag as Tracy
What if We Have All The Time in the World wasn't in the film? Do you prefer...
Dirty Love from Licence to Kill
Make it Last All Night from For Your Eyes Only
Okay, We Have All The Time in the World IS in the film, but Louis Armstrong croaks before coming down to the recording studio. Do you prefer...
Bond's gotta have a sidekick. Do you prefer...
J.W. Pepper (He can be the motorcycle cop who approaches Bond cradling Tracy, "Hey, you're that English secret agent!")
Jaws and Dolly
The double-taking pigeon from Moonraker
Michael Madsen as Damien Falco from Die Another Day
No Bond film is complete without nookie. Do you prefer...
Bond makes love to Irma Bunt on a bearskin rug (Bunt: "You always were a cunning linguist, James." Bond: "Ahh the things we do for frequent flyer mileage!")
Blofeld makes love to Bond on a bearskin rug (Bond: "I feel a slight stiffness coming on." Blofeld, "James, my dear, we're showing a bit more cheek than usual, aren't we?" Halle Barry stands off to one side and tells Blofeld, "Oh, yeah. I think he got the thrust of it.")
Bond's honeymoon car, do you prefer...
The Bond-ola from Moonraker
The Moonbuggy from Diamonds Are Forever
Bond's wedding suit, do you prefer...
Bond's clown suit from Octopussy
Blofeld's drag costume from Diamonds Are Forever
The Angels of Death include...
The female cast of Glee
Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint in drag
glidrose, when this is all over I'm going to find you...
I'll give up OHMSS...damn you
Here's a special bonus round:
Who would you rather play Tracy? (Hi Eric!)
When Tracy gets shot, her dying words can be: Jones: "And I thought that creep loved me!" Roberts' dying words can be: "James! James!"
Damn your eyes, glidrose. These mashups are killing me. Ok. Nobody is going to mess with OHMSS. So...
Like it so far? Let's play another special bonus round!
We all know how OHMSS ends: Tracy's forehead stops the bullet. What do you think should happen next?
Bond cradles Tracy at the end, looks up at the camera, leers and says "This never happened to the other fella."
But I loved Tracy soooooooooooooooo much!
Easy come easy go.
Men come first, women come second.
It is a '69 and I am expecting you. (said to the motorcycle cop)
The Tarzan yell from Octopussy
Special shout out to my friend Eric Stromberg. Let's see how he's coping...
I'm having my final martini and loading one bullet into the PPK...
Anybody else want to contribute some this or that match-ups? I want Eric to enjoy the full OHMSS experience.
Edited by glidrose, 09 April 2013 - 07:40 PM.