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'A View To A Kill' screenplay to story adaptation


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#1 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 10:17 AM

My first attempt at writing a fan-fiction starts with 'A View To A Kill', posting soon here on CBn.

 

I wanted to adapt one of, in my opinions, the more fun and under-rated Bond films into a decent story, to expand on certain scenes, characters and action sequences whilst also trimming down some of the over-the-top comedic moments.

 

It may be an odd choice to start with, but I feel it's given me the boost needed to kick-start my creative writing and I hope soon to follow with either another adaptation or an original peice.

 

Keep an eye out soon to see if James Bond has finally met his match...

 



#2 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:38 AM

The upload has started on the story - enjoy! :)



#3 Dustin

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 03:07 PM

New chapter up.

#4 chrisno1

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 04:54 PM

Having written an adaptation myself (of OHMSS) I was looking forward to this.

It hasn't disappointed and this faithfully replicates the movie , which isn't one of my favs.

I enjoyed reading your version more than I do watching the tired exploits on screen.

My only advice (coming a little late, though, I expect) would be to guard against being too respectful to the original movie. For instance at the end of the prologue you tell us:

 

The boat cleared the iceberg field and set course for an eventful cruise back to the shores of England.

 

But we don't really need to be told that. The chapter ends perfectly well in the sentence before. Similarly you mention the boat has been well camoflaged, but you retain the 'Union Jack' hatchway - surely a contradiction.

Also I was also disappointed you retained the physical comedy at the end of the Paris car chase. Bond landing in a wedding cake isn't funny on screen or on the page. I'd have enjoyed the sequence more if May Day had parachuted straight into the speedboat and vanished down the Seine, leaving Bond exasperated on the bridge.

There's really no need to introduce Zorin or May Day here.

Chapter One deftly builds the mystery of Zorin and his entourage; by featuring them at the climax of the chase you (like the film makers) have instantly removed all the mystery and tension surrounding your villainous characters.

I don't know if you've read Wood's JB, TSWLM and JB&MR, but they are excellent examples of how to adapt a screenplay into a novel. Benson's and Gardner's straight forward re-tellings are not.

 

For all that, Chris, a sterling job. These are minor quibbles. I can't fault much of your prose. The attention to action and detail is excellent and I enjoyed it immensely. I'm looking forward to the rest.



#5 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:04 PM

Thank you chrisno1, I really appreciate your advice!

 

Being I do enjoy writing, this is my first feature length story, be it a basic adaptation. I think, as you say, I have been TOO faithful and not been ruthless enough to craft it simply as a story, not a movie.

 

I actually like your idea for the Paris chase, leaving May Day and Zorin out and adding to the illusion...makes me want to go back and re-edit it!

 

I will continue to add, and please continue with anything you feel adds or detracts, as you say, I think I've over-compensated with the description knowing what I've seen on screen too much.

 

But thank you, really, I'm glad you're enjoying the Bond romp and I hope to build on this in future. I'm actually going to read my first bit of fan-fic after doing this with your 'OHMSS' adaptation and I look forward to seeing how you've done this.

 

:)



#6 007jamesbond

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:27 AM

well good start..........can't wait for more 



#7 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 02:20 PM

Thank you, I appreciate it.  :)



#8 Dustin

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Posted 10 February 2013 - 05:09 PM

Next chapter up.



#9 Dustin

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 06:31 PM

And another one.



#10 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 08:42 PM

Thanks Dustin. :)



#11 Dustin

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Posted 12 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

You're welcome!



#12 Dustin

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 05:50 PM

Chapter 7 now up.



#13 chrisno1

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 02:32 PM

This is progressing nicely, Chris.

No surprises, but a pleasant read. 

You asked for more feedback on your prose and again I consider the writing more than adequate. While you aren't creating anything new in terms of action, you describe it well and offer a flavour of what we see on screen. Occasionally you are a little too close to what we see. For instance I thought the initial description of Tibbet cleaning the Rolls Royce was unnecessary and some of the intercutting at the garden party doesn't transpose itself well on the page. Sometimes it is easier to focus only on 007 and allow the story to breathe, as it were, through his pores only.

I was slightly surprised you retained hokum of the steeplechase. I would have made the sequence much shorter, cut out the business with the moving jumps and developed the in-saddle fighting. Remember Zorin was always going to use the microchip to re-fire Inferno so what comes before is immaterial. Some description of riding technique would have helped the scene also.

Similarly I wonder if the infiltration of the stable yard could have been handled differently, with perhaps only Doctor Mortner returning to the operating theatre. It's a tricky call to make.

Although you faithfully replicate the movie's dialogue and interpret the actor's expressions and reactions (I love the amused chuckle you allow Zorin - very Christopher Walken) I am missing their character. Rarely are you infecting them with a persona deeper than the movie's sheen. You hint at the relationship between Zorin and May Day, but the reader (like the viewer) has to take this at face value. I would have expanded the frustration at being interupted pre-coitus, something like: "It had been so long. She'd waited for this day. Now it was gone. How long would it be for them again? May Day remembered again how it had been when they'd first made love ..."

Equally when Bond is in danger, while I KNOW he's in peril, I don't get any sense of the character's personal thought processes. I read what he does, but not why. It's a slightly detatched, unemotional portrait.

Over all though, I'm enjoying it.

Keep it up.


Edited by chrisno1, 15 February 2013 - 02:34 PM.


#14 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 02:50 PM

Thanks chrisno1!

 

Does it make sense to you that in reading this story again and taking in what you say, it makessesnse to me as I saw the story coming together that it was almost a 2D effort, not a decent 3D story for readers?

 

Your points make sense and I think I've stuck to the film too much without delving into the characters from what we don't see on screen.

 

It's all being noted for my next story, an original peice this time now I've got my writing bug back. 

 

Glad your enjoying it though, thanks for reading it.



#15 chrisno1

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:04 PM

Thanks chrisno1!

 

Does it make sense to you that in reading this story again and taking in what you say, it makessesnse to me as I saw the story coming together that it was almost a 2D effort, not a decent 3D story for readers?

 

Your points make sense and I think I've stuck to the film too much without delving into the characters from what we don't see on screen.

 

It's all being noted for my next story, an original peice this time now I've got my writing bug back. 

 

Glad your enjoying it though, thanks for reading it.

 

Perfect sense.



#16 Dustin

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 03:04 PM

New chapter available now.

#17 Dustin

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:26 PM

And another new entry!



#18 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

Many thanks!



#19 Dustin

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 12:08 PM

Chapter 11 up now.



#20 007jamesbond

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 01:11 AM

still behind a bit but I will catch up the last few chapters


Edited by 007jamesbond, 22 February 2013 - 01:11 AM.


#21 Dustin

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 05:05 AM

Chapter 12 now online.

#22 Dustin

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 04:30 PM

Chapter 13. On a Friday.

 

What is that supposed to mean... ?



#23 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 22 February 2013 - 06:23 PM

Ohh dear..! Unlucky for some. Chuck Lee in this case.

 

Thanks for reading 007jb! :)



#24 Dustin

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Posted 26 February 2013 - 03:43 PM

Chapter 14 at your service: http://debrief.comma...l/#entry1252867



#25 chrisno1

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 12:53 PM

Still going nicely :D



#26 Dustin

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 06:12 PM

Chapter 15: http://debrief.comma...l/#entry1253157



#27 Dustin

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 10:39 AM

We are getting to the heart of the matter: Chapter 18 http://debrief.comma...l/#entry1253814



#28 thecasinoroyale

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Posted 08 March 2013 - 08:29 AM

Thanks Dustin! :) And thanks chrisno1 for reading!

#29 Dustin

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 05:38 PM

Fresh from the keyboard: Chapter 19 http://debrief.comma...l/#entry1254687



#30 Dustin

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Posted 12 March 2013 - 02:49 PM

Just fell out of the blue: Chapter 20 http://debrief.comma...l/#entry1254854