7 replies to this topic

[Xenobia]

Hello all:

As some of you may know, I have written a 007 fan fiction novel called "Heaven Isn't Too Far Away." Soon, hopefully, it will also be here at CBN. In the meantime, if you wish to read it, you can find most of it, in chapter form, at the address below.

http://www.mi6archiv...tent/hitfa.html

I have some questions that I am looking to have answered, so if you have read it, and can take the time to answer these questions, I would appreciate it.

1) What do you think of the women characters in this story? (And this includes M.)

2) How are the one liners? Do they work? Are there too many of them?

3) In the chapter called "Avowed and Enamoured," did I go too far?

4) Do the actions scenes work? Are they paced too quickly or too slowly? Do they read well?

5) Does Bond read like Bond (literary or cinematic) to you?

Thanks in advance!

-- Xenobia

[Blofeld's Cat]

Oops!

I'm sorry, Xen, but I've have not had the chance to read it.

At the earliest oportunity I'll do so and give you some, no doubt, well deserved positive feedback.

[Joyce Carrington]

I haven't read all of it, but I've seen a few chapters. The first chapter - sorry to say - was a bit hard to follow, I think maybe because of the action sequence... it wasn't really clear. And the oneliners in that chapter: maybe a bit too much.
But who am I to tell you that.. My fanfiction really sucks...
Anyway, remember.. a bit of criticism can only be good for your book.

[marktmurphy]

I also remember trying to read the first chapter a while ago and found it impenetrable- the car chase through London being described in terms about as detailed as I just used : i.e: 'they had a car chase through London'. And I presume you've never been to Victoria station.
Don't give up the day job. Unless its writing.

[Jim]

Originally posted by marktmurphy

Don't give up the day job. Unless its writing.

Bit harsh, old boy, wouldn't you say?

A few solecisms aside (the correct form of address for a Duke/Duchess) I thought it read OK, what I have read of it.

In answering the lady's questions constructively:-

1. Overabundant; granted, the idea is to introduce the Hightower woman but I didn't find her that appealing (or consistent) a character. The others work well, especially the nun fixation. However, Bond marginalised in a Bond story? Hmm...

2. Overabundant (you might see where this is going); some groaners and this is patently Movie Bond (and a particular Movie Bond at that). Can certainly see Mr Brosnan delivering them. Can't see any of the others doing so. Depends on one's view of how competent Mr Brosnan is. I know we differ.

3. Yes, but it's very entertaining

4. I can understand the comments above in re: impenetrability (is that a word? It is now) - just as well that word didn't appear under "3" - some read as if you're describing scenes you're watching on screen, especially the earlier ones. I'm not sure what the opening chapter meant, on the whole. Overall, it does read as a "novelisation" rather than a "novel" - perhaps this was what you were after, given the obvious candidate for James Bond?

5. Cinematic

I enjoyed it; a few non-sequiters here and there and I'm not convinced the opening really works, but it entertained me.

[RayBros007]

Originally posted by Xenobia
Hello all:

As some of you may know, I have written a 007 fan fiction novel called "Heaven Isn't Too Far Away."  Soon, hopefully, it will also be here at CBN.  In the meantime, if you wish to read it, you can find most of it, in chapter form, at the address below.

http://www.mi6archiv...tent/hitfa.html

I have some questions that I am looking to have answered, so if you have read it, and can take the time to answer these questions, I would appreciate it.

1) What do you think of the women characters in this story?  (And this includes M.)

2) How are the one liners?  Do they work?  Are there too many of them?

3) In the chapter called "Avowed and Enamoured," did I go too far?

4) Do the actions scenes work?  Are they paced too quickly or too slowly?  Do they read well?

5) Does Bond read like Bond (literary or cinematic) to you?

Thanks in advance!

-- Xenobia

Needless to say Xen i love your novel...

1) I think that the females in the story are written superbly including the nuns!

2) The one-liners work but there's a few too many...

3) If this were a movie, that would garuantee an "R" rating... But I did enjoy it...

4) The first action scene did throw me off a little bit but after reading it again, it worked.

5) I've never read a Bond novel so I wouldn't know if it reads like a novel but I could easily see this a Bond film.

[Xenobia]

Hi everybody:

Thanks for the feedback so far...and please keep it coming. OK...those of you who did say the action sequence, particularly the one in the opening car chase, didn't work, what do you suggest I do differently?

The writing of the action sequences was incredibly difficult for me since I have, frankly, never done them before. Yes, I meant for them to read as if you were watching them on a screen....I like my audience to visualize what they are reading, but maybe that is a bad thing.

And as for my visitations to Victoria Station....yes, actually, I have been there, and yes, I do know there is a food court that does have pub in it. Obviously, it is not one like I described in the opening chapter, because I did not want folks to hold me to describing a real place in exact detail...not to mention the owners of said pub not liking me putting them into fan fiction. What is true, is that you can enter the Grovesnor Thistle Hotel from Victoria Station. I stayed in that hotel, and frequently used that entrance.

And for the record, on the days I was there, I think someone could be quietly murdered in a kiosk, and it would take a while for folks to notice.

Yes, I am hearing that the one liners are too much, duly noted, I will amend.

As for "Avowed and Enamoured"...let's just say it was suggested to me that I do more with that scene by certain parties...and there are two other versions of it that are much tamer. I guess there, I wanted to shock people. I have seen the scene that everyone talks about from Raymond Benson's book...and I think I blew that scene (no pun intended) out of the water.

Jim, can you tell me where you find the inconstancies in Amanda Hightower? I realize I am writing a tricky character....you see her when she is young, and relatively carefree, and then later after eight years in exile. And as for Mr. Bond...this novel serves the purpose of introducing a character that will continue in spin off fanfic....and that is all I will say on that matter.

Thanks to everyone for their feedback, I really appreciate it...even the negative remarks. Don't worry Mark...I love teaching, and no, I am not giving up the day job. :-)

-- Xenobia

[Xenobia]

:: music of the GE trailer::

"James Bond has lived to die another day."

Clips of:

-- The car chase on the M5
-- Dropping down the staicase at the Hightower flat on his cable belt

"He has sent some to their makers"
-- the fight with Jillian Rogers in Geneva

"And kept the ones he loved away from heaven."
-- Saving Amanda from Ben Alin
-- The escape in the helicopter

"But if you think this assignment ends with Bond in bed..."
-- The love scene with Amanda and James

"Think again."
-- Amanda being questioned at Headquarters
-- Amanda and Bond being gassed
-- 007 and female friend fighting their way out of a riot
-- Bond and Rocher fighting on the cloth wings of a parasail.

"In Double-Oh One day, Bond will return in 'Heaven Isn't Too Far Away' "
-- An abandoned army base blows up as Bond says "I don't mind being debriefed, just not by them."

"Heaven Isn't Too Far Away" is currently available at the fan fiction section of http://mi6.co.uk and will soon appear in CBN's "The Rough and the Smooth" fan fiction section.

-- Xenobia