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"Hello, Mr. Bond. I want to play a game!"


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#1 DamnCoffee

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Posted 16 August 2009 - 09:44 PM

What if Jigsaw got wind of what was going on in the Bond universe, and vowed to test Bond characters. What would the traps be? What would the tape say? What would be the outcome.


I'll go first:
Name: Valentine Zukovsky.
Trap: A Vat Of Caviar.
Tape: "Hello Valentine. I want to play a game. What you are sitting in is caviar, your own brand. In order to escape, you must free yourself from the chains that bind you. The key is in one of the tubs of caviar that will be thrown onto you. But be quick, if you don't get the key soon, you will slowly drown. And this vat will be your tomb. Live or die, Valentine. Make your choice."
Outcome: Valentine is consumed by the caviar, drowning in his own brand.


God, this will be fun.
Your turn. B)

#2 DamnCoffee

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:07 PM

This is a brilliant one...

It's not mine though. B)

Name: Jinx.
Trap: A room full of powerful lasers.
Tape: Hello Giacinta, I want to play a game. Right now, you are feeling helpless. This is the same helplessness you bestowed onto others for so many years. Your very presence caused innocent people to be in deep agony and never allowed for long-lasting relationships. But now, it's unto you. Some would call the lasers spectacular, I call them good, especially when they're bad. They can cut through a human body like a knife through a mango and send you home to yo momma in a thousand pieces. Would she still tell you to tell others that she told you she's very disappointed... in you? Today however, I offer you true freedom. In thirty seconds, the lasers will aim close enough to penetrate your body. Within sixty seconds, they will have cut you into half the girl you used to be. To avoid them, all you have to do is destroy the thing that has been the cause of great misery for so many years ... your mouth. You must insert your hands in the tubes in front of you and push the buttons to start the devices before you. Your lips will be sewed together with a golden thread. Think of it as a very expensive lip acne. Will you submit yourself to the thrust of it in order to save your body? Make your choice.
Outcome: Valentine is consumed by the caviar, drowning in his own brand. As for Jinx, nobody cares to be honest.

#3 Mr. Blofeld

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:32 PM

Name: Stacey Sutton
Trap: A room... to a kill.
Tape: "Hello, Stacey. I want to play a game. For years, you've angered men longing for an intelligent woman with your bimbosity, but now, as you can see, it's come back to bite you on the... well, let me explain. Since you couldn't even hear a blimp coming up behind you, I've decided to show you how precious hearing can be. All around this room are very powerful drills, but your eyes have been surgically removed so you cannot tell. There is an opening to the outside, to life, where Duran Duran is playing, but it is very faint, so you must listen carefully, and act quickly. Should you not, the room, as we speak, is slowly collapsing around you; fifteen minutes more, and your killing wil be... quite a view. Live or die painfully, Stacey. Make your choice."
Outcome: Stacey manages to get her head out of the room before the whole thing collapses on her B), teaching her once, and for all, what is the soap and what isn't. :tdown:

#4 Conlazmoodalbrocra

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:49 PM

Name: Strawberry Fields
Trap: A locked hotel room with a barrel of oil hanging from the ceiling
Tape: Hello Strawberry, I want to play a game. For years now you've refused to tell people your real name, angering those who want to send you a letter or a postcard and it ends up in a field somewhere in Devon. I'm going to teach you to appreciate the name your mother gave you. In front of you is a door, a locked door. On the floor next to you is a box of strawberries, inside one of these strawberries is the key to the door. You better hurry though, that barrel of oil is on a two minute timer, and when the time stops, the barrel will tip over and fall, and you'll meet a sticky end. You know what you have to do. Accept who you are or die denying your true identity. Live or die, make your choice.
Outcome: Fields, in her stupidity finds the strawberry with the key but swallows it rather than open the door. She meets her end. However the police report later tells of her true bravery.