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Should the midget janitor from OHMSS be brought back?


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Poll: Should the midget janitor be brought back?

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#31 Bondian

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:29 PM

I would assume because of the racial slur.


I see. And i'll be careful here: So, it's ok to make fun of people who, because of a quirk of nature/their DNA, did not reach 'normal' height, but when one of us jokingly (*JOKINGLY*) makes a remark about the colour/color of a pigmy, then it has to be wiped away from the thread?

I'm not a racist, for heavens sake! Jim and I have had some wonderfully entertaining tete-a-tetes over the last 6 years and NOT ONCE has there been a hint of racism in any of my posts to him or any other Black/Afro-Caribbean/African-American/African member of CommanderBond.net.

What did you intend to come of this thread?

And kindly don't tell me that you didn't expect a response from me. This 'place' is "yours" and I WILL abide by your rules because I don't relish the idea of being banned or thrown off here for the fourth time since 2004/5.

But i'd like to know why there's a double standard here...and is the six letter word that starts with the letter D and rhymes with "sparky" really a "racial slur" in the context of the first 10 odd posts of this thread?

You may wipe this post out if you wish as well...in which case i'll humbly take my leave of it and "behave" accordingly because of my comment in the forth 'paragraph' of this post.

Did you use the word "darkly"?. :tup:

CBn did a does a great job. But I felt naked in that thread.

But then again, CBn is the best Bond site on the web. :tup:

#32 Loomis

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:29 PM

I propose that a thread be created to judge the merits of whether or not the bespectacled Canadian chess player featured in From Russia With Love should return. Still hasn't won a grandmaster championship after 45 years.


How about a sitcom called LIVING WITH LAZAR, about the trials and tribulations of a hapless Hong Kong family - all they want to do is eat their dinner in peace, but they're constantly interrupted by visitors to the eccentric European arms dealer living in the basement.

In every episode, Lazar must make a ridiculously specıalısed gun for a hyper-demanding client (e.g. a cantankerous Italian mobster with no limbs who needs a machine gun he can fire with his bottom, oh, and it can't contain any metals 'coz of his allergies), while trying to thwart his arch nemesis, the irritatingly squeaky-clean Lieutenant Hip. Each episode ends with Lazar being almost shot in the balls by his irate customer before somehow getting off the hook, only to hear another impatient voice from upstairs going "Lah-zar, LAH-ZAR" as he's about to settle down for a night's kip.

Well, I'd watch it. Then again, I watch THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.

#33 doublenoughtspy

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:29 PM

Dude, I didn't delete your response. I thought it was amusing. One of the other moderators apparently didn't. There are a number of us and we don't always agree, but when it comes to deleting we usually error on the side of caution. Perhaps the mod wasn't not personally offended but thought the potential was there for others to be.

Midget is a medical term. Darky isn't.

What did I intend for the thread? A laugh or two.

The fact that you weren't warned about your response shows there isn't some conspiracy to kick you out. Calm down please.

#34 Bondian

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:32 PM

I have to be a bore, and say, this is reminiscent of the Chula and Bondian thread. :tup:

#35 HildebrandRarity

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:48 PM

Ok, then i'll chime in with my very original response which *would* have been post number 11 or 12 or something and paraphrase my own answer to the thread question 'nicely' and thusly:



Only if it were played by a pigmy. We've already had a caucasian (OHMSS) and a latin (TMWTGG) and, in the interests of political correctness, affirmative-action, etcetera, perhaps we should give a dark-coloured person a chance.


:tup:

I would assume because of the racial slur.


... i'd like to know why there's a double standard here...and is the six letter word that starts with the letter D and rhymes with "sparky" really a "racial slur" in the context of the first 10 odd posts of this thread?

Did you use the word "darkly"?. :tup:



Um...not exacly.

#36 Righty007

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:55 PM

Ok, then i'll chime in with my very original response which *would* have been post number 11 or 12 or something and paraphrase my own answer to the thread question 'nicely' and thusly:

Only if it were played by a pigmy. We've already had a caucasian (OHMSS) and a latin (TMWTGG) and, in the interests of political correctness, affirmative-action, etcetera, perhaps we should give a dark-coloured person a chance.

:tup:

Now I don't know who deleted your original post but why post it again? If a mod deletes a post, posting it again is only going to irritate people (like me) and make yourself look silly (actually silly isn't the right word but I thought I'd be nice today).

I personally am not offended by the word but it can be offensive to some. Look in the dictionary:

pygmy - (chiefly derogatory) a very small person, animal, or thing

I ask everybody at CBn to use sense when posting. I can't post every word/term that I use in the real world because I understand that CBn members come from everywhere in the world. A fag in England means something entirely different than what it means in the United States, for example.

#37 HildebrandRarity

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 11:04 PM

Ok, then i'll chime in with my very original response which *would* have been post number 11 or 12 or something and paraphrase my own answer to the thread question 'nicely' and thusly:

Only if it were played by a pigmy. We've already had a caucasian (OHMSS) and a latin (TMWTGG) and, in the interests of political correctness, affirmative-action, etcetera, perhaps we should give a dark-coloured person a chance.

:tup:

Now I don't know who deleted your original post but why post it again? If a mod deletes a post, posting it again is only going to irritate people (like me) and make yourself look silly (actually silly isn't the right word but I thought I'd be nice today).


Appearently the word "silly" would apply to someone who tells me that "posting it again is only going to irritate people (like me)" AFTER

1) the mod who started this thread has ALREADY stated:

"Dude, I didn't delete your response. I thought it was amusing. One of the other moderators apparently didn't. There are a number of us and we don't always agree, but when it comes to deleting we usually error on the side of caution. Perhaps the mod wasn't not personally offended but thought the potential was there for others to be."*; and

2) I had cleaned up my original post to wipe away any hint of a "racial slur".

So, who's "silly"? Let's not get power hungry, shall we? I realize you're a mod. And, fair enough. But let's not start calling others here "silly". It's probably difficult for a young mod in university to police oneself (in relation to a more seasoned, wiser and older mod) but we must try. :(



* quote from doublenoughtspy (who, I beleve, is also a mod?) :tup:

#38 zencat

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 11:18 PM

Only if he whistles "All Time High."

#39 Double-Oh-Zero

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 11:28 PM

I propose that a thread be created to judge the merits of whether or not the bespectacled Canadian chess player featured in From Russia With Love should return. Still hasn't won a grandmaster championship after 45 years.


How about a sitcom called LIVING WITH LAZAR, about the trials and tribulations of a hapless Hong Kong family - all they want to do is eat their dinner in peace, but they're constantly interrupted by visitors to the eccentric European arms dealer living in the basement.

In every episode, Lazar must make a ridiculously specıalısed gun for a hyper-demanding client (e.g. a cantankerous Italian mobster with no limbs who needs a machine gun he can fire with his bottom, oh, and it can't contain any metals 'coz of his allergies), while trying to thwart his arch nemesis, the irritatingly squeaky-clean Lieutenant Hip. Each episode ends with Lazar being almost shot in the balls by his irate customer before somehow getting off the hook, only to hear another impatient voice from upstairs going "Lah-zar, LAH-ZAR" as he's about to settle down for a night's kip.

Well, I'd watch it. Then again, I watch THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.

I'd watch it too, sir. But only if Roger Moore makes a cameo as a waiter who serves a quiche and a round of Phu-Yuck to the family while wearing a safari jacket. Or that sharp-looking plaid ensemble he wore on Scaramanga's island.

#40 Double-0-7

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 11:54 PM

The very question dwarfs me. But by all means bring him back...although I can't remember him despite a thousand viewings. :tup:


Really? The plot of the whole movie basically revolved around him. At least that's the way I remember it. :tup:

#41 TheSaint

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 03:19 AM

Oh Magoo, you've done it again!

#42 Single-O-Seven

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 03:28 AM

I propose that a thread be created to judge the merits of whether or not the bespectacled Canadian chess player featured in From Russia With Love should return. Still hasn't won a grandmaster championship after 45 years.



Any one else notice that the aforementioned chess player was played by Peter Madden, the same man who played Hobbs - the "M" figure to Patrick McGoohan's John Drake - in "Danger Man/ Secret Agent"?
In fact, most of the stars from the early Bond films crossed over to Danger Man at some point.
Sorry for this irrelevant post, just had to put it somewhere.

#43 Byron

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 03:53 AM

How would a Midget janitor fit into the series anyhow? He was in OHMSS for comedic value only. No need to bring him back.


This is a parody thread prompted by another thread that was started here recently, can't recall what it was offhand, but parody threads suddenly seem to be the new thing here on CBn.


Thanks Loomy. It was the Quarrel thread that prompted this. I tried to think of something even more ridiculous. Odd which film I chose from, eh?


My thread on Quarrel was not meant to be a parody. I'm sorry that you found it ridiculous. Judging by their answers, most members that replied to that thread did not find it ridiculous.

I guess we can't all dig up archives or find ultra-rare excerts from unpublished manuscripts.

If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter.

#44 Righty007

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 04:15 AM

How would a Midget janitor fit into the series anyhow? He was in OHMSS for comedic value only. No need to bring him back.


This is a parody thread prompted by another thread that was started here recently, can't recall what it was offhand, but parody threads suddenly seem to be the new thing here on CBn.


Thanks Loomy. It was the Quarrel thread that prompted this. I tried to think of something even more ridiculous. Odd which film I chose from, eh?

My thread on Quarrel was not meant to be a parody. I'm sorry that you found it ridiculous. Judging by their answers, most members that replied to that thread did not find it ridiculous.

I guess we can't all dig up archives or find ultra-rare excerts from unpublished manuscripts.

If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter.

Your thread isn't a parody, this one is. And this thread wasn't intended to mock you or your thread so please don't take offense. It was intended to poke fun at the fact that your thread is dedicated to an obscure character which is completely fine, just a little amusing to some.

#45 Jim

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 07:25 AM

I won't suggest everyone should lighten up because that's probably a racial slur too.

Once knew a girl called Rachel Slurr, y'know. Goshgeewillikins, that takes me back. I wonder what happened to her?

I'm not a racist, for heavens sake! Jim and I have had some wonderfully entertaining tete-a-tetes over the last 6 years and NOT ONCE has there been a hint of racism in any of my posts to him or any other Black/Afro-Caribbean/African-American/African member of CommanderBond.net.


I wonder, though, is that "any other" a racial slur? - I am British.

What a terribly complicated world you young persons all live in. No wonder everyone under thirty* shuffles around incoherently - you must all be terrified of saying anything.

*ageist, probably.

Meanwhile, back at the plot, I voted yes - do bring back that old stumpy midget-head gnome-face hobbit leprechaun troll-features from the land of the magical enchanted wee folk*. Unless he's dead and buried, in a matchbox coffin.

*I accept he may simply have been standing a long way away.

#46 doublenoughtspy

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 09:29 PM

My thread on Quarrel was not meant to be a parody. I'm sorry that you found it ridiculous. Judging by their answers, most members that replied to that thread did not find it ridiculous.

I guess we can't all dig up archives or find ultra-rare excerts from unpublished manuscripts.

If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter.


Byron,

I apologize for my choice of words. As Righty points out - it wasn't meant to disrespect you - your thread was asking about bringing back an obscure character and I thought I would take the idea to the extreme.

You like Quarrel and that's great. But the thread struck me as odd because characters like Moneypenny and Q aren't appearing yet - so Quarrel seems a little out of left field. Especially with Felix played by Jeffrey Wright. (God everyone, please don't accuse me of saying Bond can't have more than one black friend...)

Since everybody else is getting offended in this thread, it's my turn.

"If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter."

Putting Experts in quotes and qualifying it with "so-called" implies pretty strongly that you don't believe I am one. If I'm not, I'm rather curious as to who you think is.

I didn't stifle your topic of conversation in any way - had I wanted to stifle it I would have closed it or deleted it.

Back to the expertise thing for a second - FYI it's more than a little frustrating for me to spend a great deal of time researching articles and questions for interviews and get just a blip here and there in the forums - but threads like this one and "What are you blaming Daniel Craig for?" get a veritble avalanche of responses.

So forgive me for poking fun at things once in a while, eh?

#47 FLEMINGFAN

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Posted 26 April 2008 - 09:40 PM

Well, I thought it was all very funny.

#48 Byron

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 02:48 AM

How would a Midget janitor fit into the series anyhow? He was in OHMSS for comedic value only. No need to bring him back.


This is a parody thread prompted by another thread that was started here recently, can't recall what it was offhand, but parody threads suddenly seem to be the new thing here on CBn.


Thanks Loomy. It was the Quarrel thread that prompted this. I tried to think of something even more ridiculous. Odd which film I chose from, eh?

My thread on Quarrel was not meant to be a parody. I'm sorry that you found it ridiculous. Judging by their answers, most members that replied to that thread did not find it ridiculous.

I guess we can't all dig up archives or find ultra-rare excerts from unpublished manuscripts.

If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter.

Your thread isn't a parody, this one is. And this thread wasn't intended to mock you or your thread so please don't take offense. It was intended to poke fun at the fact that your thread is dedicated to an obscure character which is completely fine, just a little amusing to some.



My thread on Quarrel was not meant to be a parody. I'm sorry that you found it ridiculous. Judging by their answers, most members that replied to that thread did not find it ridiculous.

I guess we can't all dig up archives or find ultra-rare excerts from unpublished manuscripts.

If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter.


Byron,

I apologize for my choice of words. As Righty points out - it wasn't meant to disrespect you - your thread was asking about bringing back an obscure character and I thought I would take the idea to the extreme.

You like Quarrel and that's great. But the thread struck me as odd because characters like Moneypenny and Q aren't appearing yet - so Quarrel seems a little out of left field. Especially with Felix played by Jeffrey Wright. (God everyone, please don't accuse me of saying Bond can't have more than one black friend...)

Since everybody else is getting offended in this thread, it's my turn.

"If so called "Experts" here on CBN want to stifle other mere-mortal members from creating new topics of conversation then enshrine it in your charter."

Putting Experts in quotes and qualifying it with "so-called" implies pretty strongly that you don't believe I am one. If I'm not, I'm rather curious as to who you think is.

I didn't stifle your topic of conversation in any way - had I wanted to stifle it I would have closed it or deleted it.

Back to the expertise thing for a second - FYI it's more than a little frustrating for me to spend a great deal of time researching articles and questions for interviews and get just a blip here and there in the forums - but threads like this one and "What are you blaming Daniel Craig for?" get a veritble avalanche of responses.

So forgive me for poking fun at things once in a while, eh?


Now that we've cleared the air, all is forgiven, no hard feelings mate. It's never a nice feeling to start a legitimate thread and then have people taking the piss. But i now realise that wasn't anyone's intention.

Your investigative work (as well as that of others like Silhouette Man) is appreciated. That's what makes CBN great.

#49 ACE

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 12:51 PM

How about a sitcom called LIVING WITH LAZAR, about the trials and tribulations of a hapless Hong Kong family - all they want to do is eat their dinner in peace, but they're constantly interrupted by visitors to the eccentric European arms dealer living in the basement.

In every episode, Lazar must make a ridiculously specıalısed gun for a hyper-demanding client (e.g. a cantankerous Italian mobster with no limbs who needs a machine gun he can fire with his bottom, oh, and it can't contain any metals 'coz of his allergies), while trying to thwart his arch nemesis, the irritatingly squeaky-clean Lieutenant Hip. Each episode ends with Lazar being almost shot in the balls by his irate customer before somehow getting off the hook, only to hear another impatient voice from upstairs going "Lah-zar, LAH-ZAR" as he's about to settle down for a night's kip.

Well, I'd watch it. Then again, I watch THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.


LOL. I can imagine the theme song performed on an electric piano

"Honey, I fell in love
With you through first sight from afar
How I wish here was Macau
Living with Lazar..."

[Kid chorus]
"Living with Lazar-aah-ahh-haa..."

To keep on thread, the janitor from OHMSS (the character was called "Mr Sheen" in the unpublished OHMSS novelization*) could be the person who introduces the weekly true life crime show (with a wipe!):
"Draco's Dramas"

introduced by Gabrielle Ferzetti
painstakingly dubbed by Robert Rietti.







*er, there was no such thing. I'm just being as silly as this thread!

#50 FLEMINGFAN

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 03:29 PM

That is very, very funny!

How about a sitcom called LIVING WITH LAZAR, about the trials and tribulations of a hapless Hong Kong family - all they want to do is eat their dinner in peace, but they're constantly interrupted by visitors to the eccentric European arms dealer living in the basement.

In every episode, Lazar must make a ridiculously specıalısed gun for a hyper-demanding client (e.g. a cantankerous Italian mobster with no limbs who needs a machine gun he can fire with his bottom, oh, and it can't contain any metals 'coz of his allergies), while trying to thwart his arch nemesis, the irritatingly squeaky-clean Lieutenant Hip. Each episode ends with Lazar being almost shot in the balls by his irate customer before somehow getting off the hook, only to hear another impatient voice from upstairs going "Lah-zar, LAH-ZAR" as he's about to settle down for a night's kip.

Well, I'd watch it. Then again, I watch THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.


LOL. I can imagine the theme song performed on an electric piano

"Honey, I fell in love
With you through first sight from afar
How I wish here was Macau
Living with Lazar..."

[Kid chorus]
"Living with Lazar-aah-ahh-haa..."

To keep on thread, the janitor from OHMSS (the character was called "Mr Sheen" in the unpublished OHMSS novelization*) could be the person who introduces the weekly true life crime show (with a wipe!):
"Draco's Dramas"

introduced by Gabrielle Ferzetti
painstakingly dubbed by Robert Rietti.







*er, there was no such thing. I'm just being as silly as this thread!



#51 DaveBond21

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 11:27 PM

Yes, and probably should have his own movie:- Midget Janitor.

Followed by Midget Janitor 2, etc, and then eventually Midget Begins.

#52 Major Tallon

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 11:45 PM

What about "The Young Midget Janitor"?

#53 OO4

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:55 AM

I'd prefer to see "Midget Janitor: Year One"....

#54 Pete

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:38 PM

"Midget Janitor...A View To A Knee"

#55 sharpshooter

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:50 PM

Yes, and probably should have his own movie:- Midget Janitor.

Followed by Midget Janitor 2, etc, and then eventually Midget Begins.


Most definitely. They should commission a television series and adapt some novels on the fellow as well if they had any brains.

#56 HH007

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:51 PM

This is probably the most random thread ever! :tup:

I'm sure one of your threads gets that honour.


Speaking of utterly random and weird threads, whatever happened to americanbond? :tup:

#57 Skudor

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 01:06 PM

This is probably the most random thread ever! :tup:

I'm sure one of your threads gets that honour.


Speaking of utterly random and weird threads, whatever happened to americanbond? :tup:


He emigrated to Mexico and re-registered as mexianbond.

Not.

#58 David Schofield

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 01:47 PM

And, of course, there used to be many midgets one might cast in the role.

Now, however, it would seem that a great number are working performing sex acts for Easyjet tourists in Prague.*

* though clearly they also perform for tourists brought in by other carriers.

#59 Mister E

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 06:15 PM

Yes ! Yes ! Oh god yes !

#60 sidspappy

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Posted 28 April 2008 - 09:31 PM

Yet another thread that proves that the internet has created a truly strange and unique virtual society which could not live outside of the electronic circuits that created it.

Could you imagine this line of conversation in any real world setting? If it did exist, I assume large amounts of drugs and alcohol would need to be involved - maybe a carpet beating or two for good measure.

Bizarre, I tell you...