18 replies to this topic

[Kilroy6644]

I took the time to go back and look at all of the previous Dalton cap-cons, and I did not see this picture (with good reason), so we should be all set to go.

Contest ends next Monday, April 14.

[Trident]

Last Friday's meeting of the Anonymous Acting Addicts:

Supervisor: 'Ok, this evening we have Timmy here for the fist time. Timmy, would you tell us a little bit about you? Like, when you first acted? When you first realized that acting became an addiction for you?'

Tim: 'Hello together. My name's Tim and I'm an actor. My problem is, I just can't stop it anymore. At first it was all such jolly smashing good fun, Shakespaere and Bond and fantastic reviews and fans and loads of cash. But then I had to act more and more to get this feeling of artistic satisfaction I used to have. And now I'm practically acting round the clock: while fishing in Scotland during my vacation, at the supermarket when doing the weekend shopping, even in my brand new shower stall. Naturally, I denied my problem at first. But last week I found myself gatecrashing the casting for the female lead of 'The Madonna Story - from bitch to icon in 11 albums' . That's when I realized I had a problem and needed serious help. When Robbie Williams got the role.

Edited by Trident, 07 April 2008 - 03:57 PM.

[00Twelve]

Tim: "Okay, um...a castle, a moat, a drawbridge, a king, knights, catapaults..."

Other guy: "Um..............Things in England?"

Tim: "(for God's sake)...Pass."

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

I help people with problems...

[Mr. Blofeld]

"Right, then... what do you know about a man named Le Chiffre?"

[Skudor]

Interviewer: "So Timothy...#
Dalton: "Don't look now, but there's this guy with a big cannon behind you. I think he's aiming right for your head..."

[dinovelvet]

#1 : TD : "Look, I told you I'd play footsie with you when we're having dinner, but not out in the open like this!"



#2 : The controversial hiring of John Waters (seated left) as director for Timothy Dalton's third James Bond film proved to be an unwise choice. Here, on day one of shooting, Waters explains to Dalton that the film will open with Bond having sex with a pair of transvestites. Dalton left the project the next day, citing "creative differences".

[Dekard77]

Tim- If this film had a proper budget we would be sitting on Italian furniture and sipping champaign !

Edited by Dekard77, 07 April 2008 - 07:20 PM.

[Loomis]

Last Friday's meeting of the Anonymous Acting Addicts:

Supervisor: 'Ok, this evening we have Timmy here for the fist time. Timmy, would you tell us a little bit about you? Like, when you first acted? When you first realized that acting became an addiction for you?'

Tim: 'Hello together. My name's Tim and I'm an actor. My problem is, I just can't stop it anymore. At first it was all such jolly smashing good fun, Shakespaere and Bond and fantastic reviews and fans and loads of cash. But then I had to act more and more to get this feeling of artistic satisfaction I used to have. And now I'm practically acting round the clock: while fishing in Scotland during my vacation, at the supermarket when doing the weekend shopping, even in my brand new shower stall. Naturally, I denied my problem at first. But last week I found myself gatecrashing the casting for the female lead of 'The Madonna Story - from bitch to icon in 11 albums' . That's when I realized I had a problem and needed serious help. When Robbie Williams got the role.

LOL!

ACTOR: Hi, Tim, good to meet you. I'm Bill. I'm playing one of Robert Davi's bodyguards. What's your role?

DALTON: James Bond.

ACTOR: Is it a speaking part?

DALTON: Kind of, yeah.

ACTOR: Cool.

DALTON: Actually.... it's the lead.

ACTOR: Seriously?

DALTON: Yep.

ACTOR: Wow. But you're.... British?

DALTON: Yes.

ACTOR: How's your American accent?

DALTON: I'm not doing one for this role.

ACTOR: What, you mean.... the lead in this picture's a British character?

DALTON: Yes. You.... you don't.... you don't follow the James Bond films?

ACTOR: The what?

DALTON: This.... this is a James Bond film. You know that, right?

ACTOR: Uh.... I thought this movie was called Licence Rev---- Licence Re----. Help me out here, Tom.

DALTON: Licence Revoked.

ACTOR: What does "revoked" mean?

DALTON: It means.... erm, listen, Bill, I've got to get ready for this next scene, so....

ACTOR: Right.

DALTON: Great. Well, thanks for the cigarette.

ACTOR: Pleasure.

[HH007]

Dr. Phil helps Timothy Dalton cope with the pain of being "the forgotten Bond."

[iexpectu2die]

Last Friday's meeting of the Anonymous Acting Addicts:

Supervisor: 'Ok, this evening we have Timmy here for the fist time. Timmy, would you tell us a little bit about you? Like, when you first acted? When you first realized that acting became an addiction for you?'

Tim: 'Hello together. My name's Tim and I'm an actor. My problem is, I just can't stop it anymore. At first it was all such jolly smashing good fun, Shakespaere and Bond and fantastic reviews and fans and loads of cash. But then I had to act more and more to get this feeling of artistic satisfaction I used to have. And now I'm practically acting round the clock: while fishing in Scotland during my vacation, at the supermarket when doing the weekend shopping, even in my brand new shower stall. Naturally, I denied my problem at first. But last week I found myself gatecrashing the casting for the female lead of 'The Madonna Story - from bitch to icon in 11 albums' . That's when I realized I had a problem and needed serious help. When Robbie Williams got the role.

LOL!

ACTOR: Hi, Tim, good to meet you. I'm Bill. I'm playing one of Robert Davi's bodyguards. What's your role?

DALTON: James Bond.

ACTOR: Is it a speaking part?

DALTON: Kind of, yeah.

ACTOR: Cool.

DALTON: Actually.... it's the lead.

ACTOR: Seriously?

DALTON: Yep.

ACTOR: Wow. But you're.... British?

DALTON: Yes.

ACTOR: How's your American accent?

DALTON: I'm not doing one for this role.

ACTOR: What, you mean.... the lead in this picture's a British character?

DALTON: Yes. You.... you don't.... you don't follow the James Bond films?

ACTOR: The what?

DALTON: This.... this is a James Bond film. You know that, right?

ACTOR: Uh.... I thought this movie was called Licence Rev---- Licence Re----. Help me out here, Tom.

DALTON: Licence Revoked.

ACTOR: What does "revoked" mean?

DALTON: It means.... erm, listen, Bill, I've got to get ready for this next scene, so....

ACTOR: Right.

DALTON: Great. Well, thanks for the cigarette.

ACTOR: Pleasure.

Haha - s'good, that.

[David_M]

"So anyway, yes, Mr Dalton, it keeps going, usually in a horseshoe pattern, until finally you can't manage a 'comb-over' that's anything but silly, and then your options are pretty much a close cut along the sides, or shaving it smooth or...I'm sorry, is this too much for you right now?"

"Sorry...(sob!)...it's not you, I know you're just here to help. It's just I never thought it would happen to me. (sniff!) I'm okay now, please go on..."

[Trident]

ACTOR: Hi, Tim, good to meet you. I'm Bill. I'm playing one of Robert Davi's bodyguards. What's your role?

DALTON: James Bond.

ACTOR: Is it a speaking part?

DALTON: Kind of, yeah.

ACTOR: Cool.

DALTON: Actually.... it's the lead.

ACTOR: Seriously?

DALTON: Yep.

ACTOR: Wow. But you're.... British?

DALTON: Yes.

ACTOR: How's your American accent?

DALTON: I'm not doing one for this role.

ACTOR: What, you mean.... the lead in this picture's a British character?

DALTON: Yes. You.... you don't.... you don't follow the James Bond films?

ACTOR: The what?

DALTON: This.... this is a James Bond film. You know that, right?

ACTOR: Uh.... I thought this movie was called Licence Rev---- Licence Re----. Help me out here, Tom.

DALTON: Licence Revoked.

ACTOR: What does "revoked" mean?

DALTON: It means.... erm, listen, Bill, I've got to get ready for this next scene, so....

ACTOR: Right.

DALTON: Great. Well, thanks for the cigarette.

ACTOR: Pleasure.

"So anyway, yes, Mr Dalton, it keeps going, usually in a horseshoe pattern, until finally you can't manage a 'comb-over' that's anything but silly, and then your options are pretty much a close cut along the sides, or shaving it smooth or...I'm sorry, is this too much for you right now?"

"Sorry...(sob!)...it's not you, I know you're just here to help. It's just I never thought it would happen to me. (sniff!) I'm okay now, please go on..."

LOL! Hilarious, simply hilarious.

[Kilroy6644]

Keep 'em coming, folks. I'm seeing some good ones.

[Airrider]

TD: Oh yes, excuse the new guy, he's got a condition where he thinks it's the 1980s.

[Blofeld's Cat]

"Look, Tim, please understand that Mr Campbell has already got Pierce Brosnan to play
Bond. Why don't you just go home and have a lie down, OK?"

[00Twelve]

"I'm one of the biggest Jane Austen fans in the world and I'm in her fan club and I have all her works and I have to know what it was like playing Rochester and do you wish that Jane Eyre would have been made into a real movie instead of a miniseries and what was it like to shoot one of the greatest works in modern literature and and you should play Mr. Darcy and my favorite Austen novel is Emma, what's yours?"


"Um."

[Kilroy6644]

This was a tough one. The picture wasn't much to work with, but you people managed to pull some gems out.

I was just about to give the prize to Loomis....

ACTOR: Hi, Tim, good to meet you. I'm Bill. I'm playing one of Robert Davi's bodyguards. What's your role?

DALTON: James Bond.

ACTOR: Is it a speaking part?

DALTON: Kind of, yeah.

ACTOR: Cool.

DALTON: Actually.... it's the lead.

ACTOR: Seriously?

DALTON: Yep.

ACTOR: Wow. But you're.... British?

DALTON: Yes.

ACTOR: How's your American accent?

DALTON: I'm not doing one for this role.

ACTOR: What, you mean.... the lead in this picture's a British character?

DALTON: Yes. You.... you don't.... you don't follow the James Bond films?

ACTOR: The what?

DALTON: This.... this is a James Bond film. You know that, right?

ACTOR: Uh.... I thought this movie was called Licence Rev---- Licence Re----. Help me out here, Tom.

DALTON: Licence Revoked.

ACTOR: What does "revoked" mean?

DALTON: It means.... erm, listen, Bill, I've got to get ready for this next scene, so....

ACTOR: Right.

DALTON: Great. Well, thanks for the cigarette.

ACTOR: Pleasure.

....but then I saw 00Twelve's entry, and I had to give it to him.

"I'm one of the biggest Jane Austen fans in the world and I'm in her fan club and I have all her works and I have to know what it was like playing Rochester and do you wish that Jane Eyre would have been made into a real movie instead of a miniseries and what was it like to shoot one of the greatest works in modern literature and and you should play Mr. Darcy and my favorite Austen novel is Emma, what's yours?"


"Um."

Take it away 00Twelve. Good luck.

[00Twelve]

Aw, that's sweet, Kilroy. I'll have another up this morning.