26 replies to this topic

[David_M]

Thanks and curses to Marty McFly for choosing my entry in the last Dalton caption contest. It's nice to win something (anything!) but I really must learn to control the urge to enter these things, as it's by now near impossible to find new images.

If any of you out there are still stout of heart, though, we'll give it another go. Here's one I hope is new, but I sincerely doubt it:

[00Twelve]

He froze. As his eyes feverishly devoured the prominent bust line and luxuriously crept down the hourglass figure, they halted and focused with great horror at the subtle, but undeniable, crotch bulge.

[dogmanstar]

A deleted scene from the new Bond film starring Timothy Dalton, where Bond hooks up with Charles Gray's Blofeld in drag.

I mean, really, the resemblance is eerie, don't you think?

[echomusic]

Hm, I see you've tried the lemon meringue.

(I have no clue what that means)

[Head of S]

DELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kilroy6644]

From the look on her harlequinesque face, he knew she'd be a bag of trouble. But he'd still hit it.

[Mister Asterix]

Heh heh, I
can see down
her cleavages.

[Marty McFly]

TIMOTHY DALTON in a publicity still for his newest Bond movie. In the film, 007 uses voodoo magic to raise his wife, Tracy, back from the dead. DIANA RIGG was unavailable to reprise her role, so they cast GEORGE LAZENBY in drag as a last-minute replacement.

[Skudor]

Timothy had hoped the producers would cast someone like Judi Dench as M, however, he couldn't complain when, for budgetary reasons, they cast his girlfriend Gertrude instead.

[HH007]

Judo Chop and Ladysylvia on their wedding day.

[Skudor]

Mama, how come you're also my sister and my wife?

[echomusic]

Having no memory of how he got here or who this he/she was...it was this exact moment that Dalton realized he needed to cut back on the booze

[Skudor]

On his wedding day Timothy tried to focus on the money. The Money. THE MONEY! Then, inevitably, his thoughts turned to the wedding night and all the naughty things he could do to this sumptuous little vixen!

[Jim]

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

-Mae West

You Only Live Twice? Nah - you only live once; if you do it right, once is enough.

-Also Mae West, ish

[Skudor]

Timothy wondered why Max Mosley had asked him to escort Mrs Mosley for the evening.

[Conlazmoodalbrocra]

Timothy Dalton posed with his new-found lover, after just coming off the phone from Margo, stating he couldn't "find a REAL man"!

Edited by Conlazmoodalbrocra, 01 April 2008 - 09:05 PM.

[Bondian]

West "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

Dalton "Why didn't you learn the cello"

or

West "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

Dalton "I can't. I live in a ground floor flat"

or

West "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

Dalton "I hate that clich

[freemo]

"Get your hand out of your pocket"
"Just searching for my keys, honest!"

[echomusic]

Timothy to himself: "There's something about her...something I can't quite...put my finger on...maybe it's the way her eyes squint in the light...or maybe the way her teeth sort of...buck out like that, kind of like a bunny's teeth...or maybe the cruvature of her arthritic claw-like hands...or maybe it is the way she holds herself with grace, woah Tim...woah, calm down there, quick -- hand in pocket, hold that badboy down so no one can notice my chubby...that's it...better, better...my God she's fabulous...there is something mysterious about her...her voice, her eyes...her...wait a second...her voice is deeper than mine...and the way her neck folds hide her unusually large adam's apple...I...oh my God...that's no woman...THAT'S A MAN, BABY!"

[Skudor]

No darling, your mouth is just the right size. For me that is.

[Jim]

The Doctor and The Devils (1987): Timothy Dalton stars in grave-robbing drama.

[Skudor]

Tim to his date: "Tell me darling, are you into necrophilia?"

[Marty McFly]

"Mother, will you make babies with me?"

[Skudor]

So, why did you decide to have the breast implants put in your cheeks instead?

[echomusic]

Is that a ham sandwich tucked between your breasts or are you just happy to see--oh, no...it's a sandwich...nevermind.

[Skudor]

Years after the events of Licence to Kill James was, again, Felix's Best Man. However, while escorting Felix's new bride to the wedding rehearsal, James couldn't help but contemplate the effect that losing a limb seemed to have on a man's ability to attract women.

[David_M]

Lots of funny (and disturbing!) entries all around, but Kilroy6644 gets the nod for an entry that (for me) perfectly captures the look on Dalton's face, and earns a patented Danny Thomas Spit-Take for its hilarious inappropriateness:

From the look on her harlequinesque face, he knew she'd be a bag of trouble. But he'd still hit it.

Thanks to all who entered, congratulations to Kilroy, and good luck finding a new picture. You'll need it!