34 replies to this topic

[Mister Asterix]

The Challenge: Caption this picture
The Rules: Be the best, do the next contest
The deadline: About a week
The judge: Me

The photo:

Let the captions fly.

[dinovelvet]

"Er...is it in yet?"

[Vauxhall]

"Any higher Mr Bond, and my ears will pop."

[Mr. Blofeld]

Danny Boy tried out for Batman Forever, but was miserably limp during the sex scenes.

[Bondian]

Craig "fancy going all the way?"

Girl "I dunno. But I think it's rude to point"

[Kilroy6644]

Daniel Craig tries to maintain his composure as he suddenly discovers her massive package.

[dinovelvet]

"Wow, you weren't kidding about your 'little finger'!"
"Er, that's not my finger, Nic"

---

"Bloody hell, I've never had a bird fall asleep halfway through...do I keep going, or what?"

[00Twelve]

"There is no Nicole. Only Zuul."

[Blofeld's Cat]

"No sense going off half-cocked"

"I know how to L4YER CAKE, but this piece of crumpet's much better!"

[Jim]

October 2005. Upon hearing about certain websites, Mr Craig determines to show Mr Brosnan's enthusiasts that he can chew a dead bird's shoulder just as convincingly, thank you very much.

[dinovelvet]

"My Golden Compass is pointing north, if you know what I mean. Get ready for an Invasion, Nicole. What, that doesn't even get a smile? Purvis and Wade said those would work brilliantly!"

[Skudor]

Having taken on the part played by such giants like Connery and Moore, Craig thought it was time to also step into Tom Cruise's shoes, to follow in his footsteps and slip into his...

[Blofeld's Cat]

Bond movie 'sacrificial lamb': "I'm skewered!"
Bond: "One sympathises."

[Judo chop]

The young lady looked down and suddenly couldn

[echomusic]

In order to prepare for his role as James Bond, Daniel Craig practiced intensively on a Real Doll ™ to get just the right amount of sexiness down...they were later married in a small church outside Twickenham

Edited by echomusic, 22 February 2008 - 03:25 PM.

[Skudor]

Daniel thought he'd finished item number 17 on the '100 things to do before you die' list. He didn't realise that due to a printing error 'experience the necropolis' had been replaced with 'experience necrophilia'.

[Blofeld's Cat]

Mona Lovesit: "Oh, James!"
Bond: "Hey, you're good enough to do this for a living."

[Double-0-Seven]

"My Golden Compass is pointing north, if you know what I mean. Get ready for an Invasion, Nicole. What, that doesn't even get a smile? Purvis and Wade said those would work brilliantly!"

Brilliant!

[DamnCoffee]

Craig: Hmmm.... You must be cold, Darling.

[Double-Oh-Zero]

"The power of Craig compels you! The power of Craig compels you! THE POWER OF CRAIG COMPELS YOU!!!

...Huh. Well, looks like we'll have to do this the hard way, Regan..."

or (similarly)

Things got ugly when Daniel Craig, having just completed I, Lucifer, became confused as to who was playing the possessed one in the remake of The Exorcist. If he had only noticed the blood coming out of her ear after he threw her across the room...

"No, I'm Lucifer, you silly bitch!"

or

Craig: "Hello! Would you like to buy a Watchtower?"
Woman: "Christ, you Jehovah's Witnesses are insistent..."

[David_M]

"Okay, and then it says, 'place yourself between the woman's legs and...' oof! Sorry! Blast it all, I'm just not cut out for this 'ladies man' stuff. I'll phone Barbara tomorrow and tell her to sign Clive Owen after all."

[00Twelve]

Nicole Kidman Daniel Craig

in

The Invasion II: Resurgence



"Wait, what?"
- Roger Ebert

[Vauxhall]

"Daniel Craig knew he must proceed both gently and rhythmically lest she woke up."

[dinovelvet]

"-You're not a one-minute wonder, are you?
-Hell no, I last longer than the time it takes Mister Asterix to judge a caption contest!"

[Craig Lazenby]

"Did you let the dogs out?"

or

"Why are you staring? Just rip off my top already!"

[Bondian]

Bond (aside) "Balls, Q?"

Q (off camera) "Don't look at me. It's about time you used your own gadget".

[00Twelve]

"You missed, Mr. Bond."

"Did I?"

[echomusic]

"Hmmm?"

"What?"

"Well...this never happened to the other felOHMYGODOHGODHOGODOHYEAHOHYEAHOHYEAH!!!!!! Ohhhh..... me that was....yeah...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."

"Daniel? Hello?"

[Mister Asterix]

Get your last minute captions in now.

[Skudor]

Daniel couldn't wait to try out his latest purchase from the Madamme Tussaud's sale.