26 replies to this topic

[Judo chop]

I don

[Trident]

And you really guarantee that this shower stall design is absolutely slide proof with these shackles?

Edited by Trident, 31 January 2008 - 06:40 PM.

[Bondian]

Man "what are you doing in that cage?"

Dalton "watching the birdy, you bastard".

[dinovelvet]

"Oh come on, I know The Beautician and The Beast wasn't great, but this is a bit extreme, don't you think?"

[MissDalton99]

Tim reveals to a journalist what he does to the director when he feels his creative energies being oppressed on the set.

[Sbott]

[quote name='Judo chop' post='831584' date='1 February 2008 - 05:19']I don

[dinovelvet]

"Come on, give me a bit of that hair! I need it more than you do!"

[Trident]

LOL! Hilarious!

[Blofeld's Cat]

Brad: "This is how you do the "Time Warp".

[Vauxhall]

"Rosa Klebb finally gets Bond right where she wants him."

[00Twelve]

Dalton, to director: "And why the hell would my character be in such a ridiculous man-sized cage in the first place?!? I mean, what grown man would ever treat an actual human being in such a way?! Do you think this is some kind of bloody Pierce Brosnan Bond movie?!!"

[Santa]

Judo Chop repels Lady Sylvia's sexual advances for the 100th time.

[Trident]

'Unchain my heart,
baby let me be
Cause you don't care,
help me, set me free...'


or


'Did you bring the banana?'


or



'...it will be called 'CHAINGANG' and will be a remake of Ingmar Bergman's 'SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE'...'

Edited by Trident, 01 February 2008 - 04:14 PM.

[HH007]

Headline: Former Bond Actor Goes Berserk

Story: Former James Bond actor Timothy Dalton was taken into custody after he attempted to bite Pierce Brosnan at a OO7 Convention. According to witnesses, Brosnan approached Dalton with his hand extended and stated, "How are you doing, old boy?" At which point Dalton inexplicably tackled Brosnan and sunk his teeth into his neck. Foaming at the mouth, Dalton was tasered by police and taken to a nearby psychiatric ward for evaluation. Dalton's publicist contends in a released statement, "Whenever Mr. Dalton sees Mr. Brosnan, he flies into a blind, uncontrollable rage, during which bad things happen. However Mr. Dalton has now had his happy pill and is feeling much better."

Edited by HH007, 01 February 2008 - 06:01 PM.

[Mr. Blofeld]

Timothy Dalton screentests for the role of Mr. Beeks in Trading Places.

[Royal Dalton]

The year is 2033, and Britney's still crazy.

[Agent 76]

The FBI discovers Hannibal Lecter has a younger brother

[00Twelve]

"I said I want my one telephone ca...look, do you even know what a bloody telephone is?!? TE-LE-PHONE?!! You talk into it like this!!!"

[echomusic]

"If you don't let me out of this thing, I've got two words for you: Knuckle ing Sandwich!"

"Actually, Tim, that's three words."

"I know, idiot! It's called sarcasm."

[OO4]

"You have to believe me. Those people were in the way of the greater good. THE GEATER GOOD! They didn't give a damn about the reputation of the village!"

[Trident]

"You have to believe me. Those people were in the way of the greater good. THE GEATER GOOD! They didn't give a damn about the reputation of the village!"

LOL!

'Number one, I presume?'

[dinovelvet]

-Now I have you in my possession, Dalton, you will help me unlock one of the greatest mysteries of the 20th century : Why did you not play James Bond for a third time?
-I'll never tell, you bastard!
-Oh, I believe you will, Mr.Dalton. Klaus, bring out the Death Ray.
-Stuff your bloody death ray. I don't fear death!
-Oh my dear Dalton, this is no ordinary death ray, no, this is the Career Death Ray. Anyone exposed to it will immediately find their agents unreachable, the offers drying up, and be forced into B-movies for the rest of their career.
-Rubbish, there's no such thing. You're bloody bluffing!
-I think not, in fact we already used this ray on you in the early 90s. Did you not realize what had happened when you found yourself doing a film with Fran Drescher? Or perhaps when you were making the cable movie Made Men with Jim Belushi? If you think you're having a comeback with Hot Fuzz, think again, Dalton, one blast of this and you'll be back in "Salt Water Moose" territory.
-Bloody hell. Alright, I'll tell you...on one condition. You use this same ray on Pierce Brosnan!
-Oh we already did, and it worked spectacularly - he signed up for a film called Vanilla Gorilla last month.

(Well, I at least deserve a medal for "longest-winded caption contest entry")

[Judo chop]

I'm afraid that death ray may have been set to 'caption' instead of 'career'.

Just kidding Dino. At least, I'm just kidding until I see the winner of your PB contest...

[Blonde Bond]

WHY DON'T WE FORGET MY GODDAMN PSYCHIATRIST AND DEAL WITH THE TASK AT HAND. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

[OO4]

"Honestly, I really have heard worse Russian accents.... can I go now?"

[Judo chop]

Alll-righty, then. Here we are. A couple nice efforts from 00Twelve and Dino:

"I said I want my one telephone ca...look, do you even know what a bloody telephone is?!? TE-LE-PHONE?!! You talk into it like this!!!"

"Come on, give me a bit of that hair! I need it more than you do!"

Way to capture the kinetics of the visual into words, boys.
And now our winner, who took the lead right out of the gates and never gave it up:

And you really guarantee that this shower stall design is absolutely slide proof with these shackles?

She's all yours, Tri.

[Trident]

Yeepee!!!


Super! Thanks! Honestly, I didn't think I'd have a chance with all the hilarious entries here.

Ok, so now I'll have to find a good one for the next Cap Con....

Be seeing you!