23 replies to this topic

[Agent Ostlund]

Have at it



Deadline Feb 6th.

[Banco]

After working out with the team, Mr. Connery worked up the crowd, energetically leading them in singing his favorite bawdy football chant, "Posh Spice takes it up the (****); Posh Spice takes it up the (****)... "

[dinovelvet]

"What do I think about my time working on the Bond filmsh, you ashke? Well, let'sh imagine thish football here representsh Cubby Broccoli'sh [Shensored]. Now..."

[echomusic]

And before security escorted the game-crasher from the field, he could be heard shoputing "Ballshh!!! EVERYWHERE!!! BALLSSHH!!"

[00Twelve]

The footballer on the right bet Connery that he couldn't kick the ball and do his gunbarrel pose at the same time. "Vanity hash itsh dangerrrsh," Connery quipped.

[Judo chop]

Sean was only trying to shake the dog poo from his shoe, but emerges to loud cheers as the leading scorer in the electrifying, climactic 0-1 resolution.

[Mr. Blofeld]

"No! Don't, laddie; IT'SH A BOMB!!!"

[Bondian]

When asked what he thought of the torture scene in Casino Royale, actor Sean Connery proceeded to kick a ball around the pitch. Later on, local residents complained that they could hear Mr Connery singing "there's no bollocks like show bollocks".

[Mister Asterix]

Bob Simmons plays a bit of football.

[Vauxhall]

"Connery dishes out his own means of punishment on one of David Beckham's 'Golden Balls'"

[00Twelve]

Sir Sean Connery is invited as a guest of honor to start the match off with the opening kick...

Connery: "FOOR SHCOUGHTLAND, YOU ENGLESHH BASHHTARRRDSHHH!!"

Welsh footballers, crowd:

[Double-Oh-Zero]

During a charity football match featuring the cast and crew of Quantum of Solace, Sean Connery, in a violent Scotch-and-vıagra-fueled rage, attempts to hijack the game. Photo was taken moments before director Marc Forster, who is seen in the background, was able to tackle and subdue the elderly Scotsman. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, sonny! I lost my virginity at four, you Swiss bastard!"

or

...and it was just that moment when Sir Roger Moore yanked the string attached to the football.

[Royal Dalton]

Forty-two years after England's World Cup triumph, Jimmy Greaves shows he's still got it.

[Banco]

Not only did England's coach refuse to play Beckham for career appearance #100, he underscored the insult by playing Connery, who is, er, 100.

Edited by Banco, 02 February 2008 - 03:47 PM.

[Agent 76]

Stadium Royale - in theaters this Fall

[00Twelve]

I don't love yellow, either, but jeez.

[Judo chop]

A defenseman looks on in sadistic anticipation as Sean winds up to kick the oversized bocce ball back into fair play.

[00Twelve]

Welcome back to our broadcast of the first game of the Human Halo League...right now it looks like Connery needs a weapon, and...OH! HE'S JUST BEEN STUCK!! HE'S JUST BEEN STUCK!!!!

...wait for it...

[echomusic]

And while Karl Pilkington watched Sean Connery kick the ball as hard as he could, Karl had no idea that Connery was about to ricochet the ball right into Karl's nuts.

[Agent Ostlund]

Here are the results:

3rd place: "No! Don't, laddie; IT'SH A BOMB!!!"

2nd place: And before security escorted the game-crasher from the field, he could be heard shoputing "Ballshh!!! EVERYWHERE!!! BALLSSHH!!"

and 1st place: During a charity football match featuring the cast and crew of Quantum of Solace, Sean Connery, in a violent Scotch-and-vıagra-fueled rage, attempts to hijack the game. Photo was taken moments before director Marc Forster, who is seen in the background, was able to tackle and subdue the elderly Scotsman. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, sonny! I lost my virginity at four, you Swiss bastard!"

Congrats Double-0-zero.

[Mr. Blofeld]

I placed? Wow!

You've made my day, Ostlund.

[Agent Ostlund]

If the 1st place winner does not want to create a contest, than the runner up may do so.

[Mr. Blofeld]

May I take a try?

[Vauxhall]

If the 1st place winner does not want to create a contest, than the runner up may do so.

The new contest can be found here.