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Your deal, Mr Bond


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#1 Mr Twilight

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Posted 14 September 2007 - 07:23 AM

I was searching around at Wikipedia when I found this book, "Your deal, Mr Bond" from 1997. It was placed under Unoffical/Unpublished together with Per Fine Ounce, The Killing Zone and The Heart of Erzulie.

The website Bondian.com didn't have so much information besides this:

Your Deal, Mr. Bond
By Phillip and Robert King, with a foreword by Zia Mahmood (1997)
A collection of bridge fiction. The title story is a parody in which James Bond impersonates bridge expert Zia Mahmood.


Beside this title, Amis' Book of Bond and Faulks' Pistasche, is there any other books that I've missed with Bond, outside the original serie.

Is there anyone who has read this book and can you tell anything about it. I'm very curious.

#2 Major Tallon

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Posted 14 September 2007 - 11:05 AM

There are several:
The Killing Zone by Jim Hatfield (can be downloaded at Universal Exports)
Avakum Zakhov Vs. 07 by Andrei Gulyashki (a Bulgarian agent kills Bond)
Four "Find Your Fate" books based on AVTAK (Win, Place, or Die by R.L. Stine; Strike It Deadly by Barbara and Scott Siegel; Programmed For Danger by Jean M. Favors; Barracuda Run by Steven Otfinoski)
A couple of small cartoon stories (called, if I remember, Stormbringer and Blackclaw)

#3 Qwerty

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Posted 21 September 2007 - 03:28 AM

Believe there is another one out there called Holmes and 007, but I've yet to obtain a copy. I've only seen one or two on eBay and they both were listed at high prices.

#4 Barbershop Quartet

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Posted 23 September 2007 - 01:27 AM

Never even heard of this thing... Love to get my hands on it. Still, nothing can beat a Fleming.

#5 ACE

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Posted 23 September 2007 - 11:52 AM

Your Deal Mr Bond is a collection of bridge fiction and is the title of the third story in the anthology which includes Some Might Get Shot and Frankenstein's Bridge Partner. Bond is sent by M to the fortress island of Saladinos disguised as ace bridge player, Zia Mahmood (Q Branch makes the physical alterations). 007 is there ostensibly to participate in a bridge tournament but also to save the world. His host is villain Saladin who has planted six nuclear devices around the world and will detonate them by remote control unless his demands are not met. Aided by Saladin's beautiful private secretary, Colette, Bond must face his greatest challenge yet. Throughout the narrative (which had Bond use a Beretta and drive a vermillion Bentley), bridge problems are scattered through which are solved in the pages. It is fun, well-written, humourous and well-observed.

#6 Mr Twilight

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Posted 23 September 2007 - 01:51 PM

Thanks, ACE! Sounds very interesting indeed. This one is a book that almost reached a "highest-priority-must-have" object for me. Exiting!

#7 Mr Twilight

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Posted 25 September 2007 - 03:11 PM

Believe there is another one out there called Holmes and 007, but I've yet to obtain a copy. I've only seen one or two on eBay and they both were listed at high prices.


I guess your looking for the original book. Saw it I while ago somewhere and the price tag was around $200+ if I remember right. It has been available on internet - I believe it was on 007Forever.com - but that site is now dead. I believe I have it somewhere saved as a .txt document. I must search for it.

#8 Qwerty

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Posted 25 September 2007 - 10:00 PM

Believe there is another one out there called Holmes and 007, but I've yet to obtain a copy. I've only seen one or two on eBay and they both were listed at high prices.


I guess your looking for the original book. Saw it I while ago somewhere and the price tag was around $200+ if I remember right. It has been available on internet - I believe it was on 007Forever.com - but that site is now dead. I believe I have it somewhere saved as a .txt document. I must search for it.


What do you mean by the "original" book, Mr Twilight? I saw one listed on eBay for about $300 (I think).

#9 Mr Twilight

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Posted 26 September 2007 - 06:49 AM

Bad choise of words. I mean youre not only after the text (it has been available online). You want it in print, I guess.

Holmes and 007

#10 Blofeld's Cat

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Posted 26 September 2007 - 06:57 AM

Bad choise of words. I mean youre not only after the text (it has been available online). You want it in print, I guess.

Holmes and 007

A limited run of 222? A nice round figure. :cooltongue:

But not as round as the price tag of $225! :angry:

#11 Qwerty

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Posted 26 September 2007 - 12:55 PM

Bad choise of words. I mean youre not only after the text (it has been available online). You want it in print, I guess.

Holmes and 007


Ah, yeah, I'd love to eventually track down an actual copy of it. That $225 seems to fit right in with what I've seen it listed for. :cooltongue:

#12 TheLazenby

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Posted 25 September 2011 - 12:55 AM

It's not worth $225... the story is EIGHT PAGES LONG. (And yes, I mean "Holmes".)

Even though the author had it printed up in book form, it's certainly not a novel.

#13 AMC Hornet

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Posted 25 September 2011 - 02:47 AM

...and neither is "The Killing Zone," before anyone gets excited about that piece of [censored] again.

TKZ is a fan fic, self-published by an egotistical jerk who plagiarized passages from Colone Sun, John Pearson's Auhorized Biography of James Bond and John Gardner's first three 007 novels (including the dedication page from Licence Renewed), as well as Magnum Force and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - for Bond's posthumous funeral at sea. It is NOT a forgotten or lost entry in the official canon - any more than is any other fan fic such as you find posted here or at any other fan site. It was NOT published by Charter books - theirs was just the logo that Hatfield chose to display illegally on the spine of his self-printed jacket covers. It is definitely not worth any asking price - no matter how low - for one of the original copies.

As someone who was unfortunate enough to have read it (albeit already knowing what it was), take it from me, your own fanfic is at least as good, and at least as valid an entry in the official canon.

That's all for now, until this topic surfaces again...

Edited by AMC Hornet, 25 September 2011 - 08:59 AM.


#14 clinkeroo

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Posted 25 September 2011 - 07:48 AM

ACE is dead on with his assessment of No Deals, Mr. Bond.. I, too, enjoy hunting down these oddities, and No Deals is one of the few that did not disappoint me. It was sharply written by someone well versed in the literary Bond, and an enjoyable read.

AMC Hornet is also spot on with his burial of Killing Zone. Normally I'm the one who goes off on a diatribe about how horrid the thing is, and it is good to see that torch passed to a new generation of Hatfield "truthers."

This is usually the part of these threads where I bring up Alligator and Toadstool by the Harvard Lampoon, Sol Weinstein's books, and naturally, "Bond Strikes Camp."

#15 AMC Hornet

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Posted 25 September 2011 - 08:31 AM

This is usually the part of these threads where I bring up Alligator and Toadstool by the Harvard Lampoon, Sol Weinstein's books, and naturally, "Bond Strikes Camp."


Sol Weinstein's Isreal Bond Oy-Oy-Seven stories were brilliant. I used to have a copy of Loxfinger, which my ex-girlfriend managed to keep (a small price to pay, I suppose). Apart from part one of In the Service of His Majesty, the Queen in a vintage Playboy, I've never come across any other entries.

They're worth reading, when you can find them.

#16 Mark_Hazard

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Posted 07 October 2011 - 10:21 PM

This is usually the part of these threads where I bring up Alligator and Toadstool by the Harvard Lampoon, Sol Weinstein's books, and naturally, "Bond Strikes Camp."

Got them all except Toadstool which I haven't heard of before. Unfortunately I haven't read any but one of the Sol Weinstein books, they're in my "to read" bookshelf, which is going to take me well into retirement.