14 replies to this topic

[Jacques Nexus]

Okay guys let's have some fun discussing the worst titles, you know, the ones that would have had Fleming turning in his grave !:

NO DEALS MR BOND (perhaps it should have been called "No Deals Mr Gardner" ?)

WIN LOSE OR DIE (good Gardner novel. I heard this is the motto of the Iranian Soccer Team !)

NEVER SEND FLOWERS (good Gardner novel marred by the wussiest title imaginable. Perhaps Glidrose don't like INTERFLORA or something ?. One of the YOLT chapters is called "Slay It With Flowers"...now that would have been better ?)

A SILENT ARMAGEDDON (well this comic died "A Silent Death")

THE QUASIMODO GAMBIT (the bells !...the bells !)

THE HILDEBRAND RARITY (well...not even the "master" was perfect. It's his only dud title. Why didn't he call it WAVEKREST ?)

HIGH TIME TO KILL (there's a double meaning in it somewhere)

LIVE AT FIVE (in Bond's world perhaps "Dead On Five" is more appropriate ?)

ROLE OF HONOUR (for role playing enthusiasts only)

If any one can think of any more, or you think any of the above are good titles, then drop a line here.

[Jacques Nexus]

Mister Asterix (19 Oct, 2001 08:20 p.m.):
And the number one, worst Bond title of all time is: (drum roll please)

You Asked For It

Hey...that's an angle I didn't think of. You're right, those early American title versions were shockers. I think the U.S. title for MOONRAKER was TOO HOT TO HANDLE...that's really bad !.

[Jacques Nexus]

[quote]Mister Asterix (19 Oct, 2001 04:59 p.m.):
I'd have to say the worst titles were:
'The Facts Of Death'   (Always reminded me of the television show 'The Facts Of Life)
'Nobody Lives Forever'   (This title just lays there and does nothing. Clich

[Blofeld's Cat]

Jacques Nexus (23 Oct, 2001 01:40 p.m.):
Hey...that's an angle I didn't think of. You're right, those early American title versions were shockers. I think the U.S. title for MOONRAKER was TOO HOT TO HANDLE...that's really bad !.

I didn't know this happened.

I'd like to see a list of the alternative titles that were used in the US.

[Mister Asterix]

blofelds_cat (24 Oct, 2001 04:47 a.m.):
I'd like to see a list of the alternative titles that were used in the US.

As far as I know the only different American titles were 'You Asked For It' for 'Casino Royale' and
'Too Hot Too Handle' for 'Moonraker'.

You can get great info on all the books at Bondian.com including some interesting translations of foreign titles such as 'Damn Them All'(Brazil) and 'Bloody Path To Jamaica'(Denmark) for 'Live And Let Die'.

[Blofeld's Cat]

Mister Asterix (24 Oct, 2001 03:27 p.m.):You can get great info on all the books at Bondian.com including some interesting  translations of foreign titles such as 'Damn Them All'(Brazil) and 'Bloody Path To Jamaica'(Denmark) for 'Live And Let Die'.

Thanks for the reference Mr*.

Some of the titles are a crackup. :-D

[Blue Eyes]

Mister Asterix (24 Oct, 2001 03:27 p.m.):
As far as I know the only different American titles were 'You Asked For It' for 'Casino Royale' and
'Too Hot Too Handle' for 'Moonraker'.

They are awful titles. They sound like those cheap paperbacks you find in the Erotica section of a book store.

[Blofeld's Cat]

...Or on book racks at airports. In the early days Bond would have been considered pulp fiction.

At least until Kennedy legitimised them by called FRWL one of the best novels he had read.

[Blofeld's Cat]

...Or on book racks at airports. In the early days Bond would have been considered mere pulp fiction.

At least until Kennedy legitimised them by called FRWL one of the best novels he had read.

[zencat]

Blue Eyes (25 Oct, 2001 10:19 a.m.):

Mister Asterix (24 Oct, 2001 03:27 p.m.):
As far as I know the only different American titles were 'You Asked For It' for 'Casino Royale' and
'Too Hot Too Handle' for 'Moonraker'.

They are awful titles. They sound like those cheap paperbacks you find in the Erotica section of a book store.

That's exactly how the early Bond paperbacks were marketed in the U.S. These have become pretty darn collectible, by the way.

[Mister Asterix]

zencat (25 Oct, 2001 09:07 p.m.):
That's exactly how the early Bond paperbacks were marketed in the U.S. These have become pretty darn collectible, by the way.

I know you're the big collector guy, z-cat. Do you own either of these versions?

[Mister Asterix]

I'd have to say the worst titles were:
'The Facts Of Death' (Always reminded me of the television show 'The Facts Of Life)
'Nobody Lives Forever' (This title just lays there and does nothing. Clich

[Jim]

Quantum of Solace. I know some folks say it would be a good title for a film. But if we, the great unwashed public, cannae handle "Revoked", this is going to melt our brains.

No Deals, Mr Bond. How inspired. Waste of a good book to have that stuck on it.

Tomorrow Never Dies. Tomorrow is never yesterday either. Neither is it ever called Jennifer. Tomorrow Never performs vignettes of Noh theatre. Tomorrow Never leaves the toilet seat up. These titles are just as meaningful.

Cold. I mean, like, y'know.....yawn.

Beyond the Ice. I still have no idea what this possibly means and I hope they never use it because my head will hurt.

Win, Lose or Die. This annoys me. Is it Win, or Lose and Die? Bit of a mouthful. As it stands, if you lose, you might not die. But if you win, you could still die. Is it meant to be that profound? If so, sorry, great title. Soz.

The Living Daylights. Yes, we know the expression, but what does it really mean? Especially when it's in a song sung by a bunch of stroppy Norweigians. Ah ah ah ah, the Living Daylights, quoth they. I mean, what? At least meeting you, with a view to a kill is vaguely coherent, even if it is the weekend which is "why", for some unexplained reason.

GoldenEye. Just too cute. How the aficionados must have felt squirty warm inside. Same for all that Father Valentine rubbish in Scorpius. What next? A character called Victor Ludorum? Don't do it Raymond, don't do it...

Permission to Die. Permission to change the story completely two thirds of the way through and live out a warped Brigitte Nielsen/Phantom of the Opera/Chernobyl fantasy. (It's that "good"). Sorry, this is actually a good title, but for all the others here, it's a case of giving a good dog a bad name. Permission to Die is a good name, wasted on a lice infested mongrel. What fun.

[level007]

I would like to say something about the title of tomorrow never dies.

you have to know that at the beginning of the production of the movie, The title was Tomorrow never LIES. Which had a sens around the newspaper called "tomorrow" and which can never lies about tomorrow because it was it that made tomorrow.

I heard that during the prodcution the title was changed because someone made a mistake in writing tomorrow never lies. the guy wrote Tomorrow Never DIES and Producers think it was better than LIES.
Just to prove it listen to the song of Pulp "tomorrow never Lies" which was made when the film still had this title.


Personnaly i like Win, lose or die

the one i don t like is Never send flowers,

[Mister Asterix]

And the number one, worst Bond title of all time is: (drum roll please)

You Asked For It