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[manfromjapan]

Directed by Joel Schumacher

RATING: *

Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O'Donnell) have to contend with their own rivalry, an ailing Alfred (Michael Gough), new family in the form of Alfred's wilful young niece (Alicia Silverstone) and more importantly, two new super villains intent on freezing Gotham City forever - Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman)...

It is hard to remember, but before Tim Burton's 1989 blockbuster re-invented the character in the popular consciousness, Batman's image was of the camp, overweight, silly Adam West interpretation from the TV show. Together with Michael Keaton and the rest of his team, Burton, with his BATMAN film, created a dark, brooding, haunted character a milion miles away from its goggle box counterpart.

BATMAN broke box-office records, Burton and Keaton would only return for a sequel if the former was allowed to do what the hell he wanted. BATMAN RETURNS (1992) was an even darker, nightmarish creation with freakish, gothic characters and art direction. Arguably, it was more Burton than Batman, but it was a great sequel. Unfortunately, it's darkness and sexually suggestive language did not sit down well with children's parents, and the film performed disappointingly. (Apparently $240m worldwide is disappointing.)

Why am I explaining so much? I am trying to outline the process whereby a character is saved from the dead, reborn into an artistically interesting movie franchise and through studio greed and cowardice, a character is returned back to it's grave from whence it came. Joel Schumacher took the director's chair for the third film, BATMAN FOREVER (1995), after Burton was not asked back. His vision was more colorful, dynamic and noisy (!), and the film was a huge success, Batman creator Bob Kane even declaring the film's star, Val Kilmer, as his favorite Batman. It dangled perilously close to camp and pantomime, but an interesting cast and a good script contributed to an arguably enjoyable film.

Kilmer and Schumacher clashed, George Clooney got the call, and only two years later the sequel appeared. It only took 8 years for Hollywood to screw up the franchise again. BATMAN & ROBIN is clearly guided towards kids, and doesn't veer towards pantomime at all. It is a complete pantomime, all the worat parts of BATMAN FOREVER magnified multiple times. It is a cynical, contrived movie with only money on it's mind - huge grosses and toy sales (Schumacher later admitted he was forced to include many gadgets that could be made into toys). Most damagingly, it is boring, and with not one quality to offer a saving grace. After all, there isn't much one can do with a childish, episodic, witless screenplay (by Oscar-winning Akiva Goldsman no less). One might have hoped for some enjoyment to come out of the action scenes, but they lack dynamism, imagination and are confusingly choreographed. Not to mention, often being puerile.

It is clear from the opening scene which involves ice-skating (!), and terrible puns to rival the Adam West TV show, that there is something rotten in Denmark. Clooney, who had become a star in the hugely popular TV series E.R. (his stint was from 1994 to 1999 and he was filming the show in the day and this film at night!), preceded the film with a stunning, enigmatic performance in the Robert Rodriguez - Quentin Tarantino heist/ vampire flick FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1995) that promised a harder, more menacing Batman. Alas it was not to be. Clooney is awful as Batman and even worse as Bruce Wayne. In the latter role, he simply smiles smugly and cranes his neck throughout, like an actor lost in his own movie. As Batman, he isn't helped by an extremely camp, colorful costume with nipples. Yes, nipples.

If anyone comes out of the movie with his or her reputation intact it is Chris O'Donnell. He simply plays Robin/ Dick Grayson as he did in BATMAN FOREVER, and he does in fact help the film have a sense of consistency. He does, however have zero chemistry with his co-stars.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is an interesting choice for the villain, as he is a larger than life figure in a larger than life movie. But he simply proves once and for all that he cannot act. His character is supposed to be tortured, twisted and sad, but he doesn't have the gravitas to carry it off. And his puns are absolutely awful. He basically makes a million puns about ice, cold, weather or his name, most of them ones that you wouldn't say if you thought of them yourself.

Uma Thurman (who followed the film up with another clinker the following year - THE AVENGERS) plays her part for complete pantomime laughs, but it is a one-note performance in the end. Alicia Silverstone fails to convince as a biker chick or a caped crusader, and her presence and character is extraneous. Michael Gough has a bigger role than usual (he was in all the Burton/ Schumacher films) but his scenes are laughably scripted and his plot thread wearying.

There isn't one good thing to say about this movie. It almost killed the Batman franchise. It failed to utilise a potentially strong Batman (Clooney) effectively. It is childish, tedious, dreadfully unfunny and has an awful script. Perhaps it's only saving grace is that it did inadvertently lead to the wonderful BATMAN BEGINS (2005) almost a decade later.

It really is one of those films that isn't worth two hours of your time. In fact, both George Clooney and Joel Schumacher (in the Special Edition DVD commentary) have apologised for the film. (Clooney went as far to offer refunds to any disappointed fans. Interestingly, he also claims he played the part as a gay man. One suspects he's joking - but the film is as camp as a row of tents.) The fact that it is so boring doesn't even allow it to be enjoyed for it's awfulness a la SHOWGIRLS (1995).

What we have here is truly one of the worst sequels ever made, one of the worst comic book/ superhero films and one of the worst big-budget Hollywood flicks full stop. A film that has to be seen to be believed...See it and weep!!

Trivia - Despite the poor box-office returns (the film opened strongly but took a nosedive due to the terrible word-of-mouth), Schumacher and Clooney did intend to carry on with a sequel (BATMAN TRIUMPHANT) until bosses toyed with other ideas for the franchise instead. Thurman shares the cast with Vivica A. Fox, who later served as her nemesis in KILL BILL, VOL. 1( 2003). As of July 2006, the film has a rating of 3.5/ 10 on imdb.com.

BATMAN & ROBIN is available on R1, R2 and Japanese R2 DVD. A 2-disc Special Edition was recently released.