Like Secretagentfan, I love the double entendres. And Streetworker, I'm glad you brought up Moneypenny's scene in Die Another Day. I'm always disappointed whenever I hear that bit that the writers/producers didn't include their ensuing exchange which was in Benson's novlization.
Q: "Hard isn't it?"
Moneypenny: "Yes, very."
Q: "How many did you get?"
Moneypenny: "Only one unfortunately."
What is the crudest line in Bond history?
Started by
Streetworker
, Oct 25 2005 09:12 PM
72 replies to this topic
#32
Monsieur B
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Posted 26 October 2005 - 08:31 PM
[quote name='Wade' date='25 October 2005 - 23:31']
#33
That gets my vote for crudest line in Bond history as well! Honorable mentions go to the whole "Big Bang theory/I got the thrust of it" exchange in DAD, and (although funny as well) the "Keeping the British end up" line at the end of TSWLM.
#34
#35
Good point.
#36
#37
I agree. She was the tackiest Bond girl; Jim pointed out in a thread that she says "that's quite a mouthful" while her eyes were focused on Bond's "willy". That came off as pretty crass...
#38
#39
I have no idea what that's from.
#40
Me either.
#41
That was a pretty bad line as well. I think that they should have just done away with the Jinx character and just had Bond going after Graves alone, or with him thinking that he had the help of Miranda Frost, so that that angle could have been played up a bit more than it was.
#42
#43
"Well, I think it's about hotel time..." is from YOLT. Bond to Aki.
#44
#45
Obviously neither you or your mother were paying attention to the film when you heard that line. When Aki & Bond first meet, she tells him that she has a car nearby to take them to a quiet hotel where Bond's friend, Mr.Henderson, is waiting to meet him. When Bond then says "Well, I think it's about hotel time" after the end of the sumo match, it's so he can meet Mr.Henderson, not have sex with Aki.
#46
I'm glad it's not only me. That and the "Fetch my shoes" line are the only ones which I find truly offensive. I mean, I can snigger along with the best of them and have no problems with "cunning linguists" and "Christmases coming only once a year"; they appeal to the adoloscent in all of us (and Fleming once admitted he posessed an adolescent mind, so it can even be argued that they're in keeping.)
But those two examples cross the line in my book.
#47
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#33
A Kristatos
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 12:42 AM
Definitely Brosnan's line that closes The World Is Not Enough. Luckily, like most Bond quips, it's a double entendre and does have a "clean" interpretation. The other interpretation however makes it easily the most crass of any in the series, surely an example of a "juvenile one-liner" that post-Bond Pierce admitted to "loathing." Worse yet, it's the last line of the movie and emphasized by a fade to black and the blaring James Bond Theme. Yikes!
That gets my vote for crudest line in Bond history as well! Honorable mentions go to the whole "Big Bang theory/I got the thrust of it" exchange in DAD, and (although funny as well) the "Keeping the British end up" line at the end of TSWLM.
#34
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 12:52 AM
"He did you?"
Why even bother with innuendo when we can just do this?
Why even bother with innuendo when we can just do this?
#35
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 12:59 AM
"He did you?"
Why even bother with innuendo when we can just do this?
Good point.
#36
00-FAN008
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 02:29 AM
There was something awkward about the way Brosnan delivered the line "Bond. James Bond." at the beginning of GoldenEye.
That's about it. I don't really know any "crude" lines.
That's about it. I don't really know any "crude" lines.
#37
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 04:39 AM
Anything delivered by Halle Berry.
She made the lines a single entendre, only to be taken in the crudest of ways. Everyone else could easily make their lines mean the more innocent interpretations. With Berry, she made it so that they only had one meaning - their sexual one. I absolutely hated her delivery of her lines.
I agree. She was the tackiest Bond girl; Jim pointed out in a thread that she says "that's quite a mouthful" while her eyes were focused on Bond's "willy". That came off as pretty crass...
#38
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 05:01 AM
The crudest line is "I think it's hotel time". Mom just threw a fit about that line.
darthbond
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#39
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 02:24 PM
The crudest line is "I think it's hotel time". Mom just threw a fit about that line.
darthbond
I have no idea what that's from.
#40
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 02:28 PM
The crudest line is "I think it's hotel time". Mom just threw a fit about that line.
darthbond
I have no idea what that's from.
Me either.
#41
tdalton
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 03:01 PM
Anything delivered by Halle Berry.
She made the lines a single entendre, only to be taken in the crudest of ways. Everyone else could easily make their lines mean the more innocent interpretations. With Berry, she made it so that they only had one meaning - their sexual one. I absolutely hated her delivery of her lines.
I agree. She was the tackiest Bond girl; Jim pointed out in a thread that she says "that's quite a mouthful" while her eyes were focused on Bond's "willy". That came off as pretty crass...
That was a pretty bad line as well. I think that they should have just done away with the Jinx character and just had Bond going after Graves alone, or with him thinking that he had the help of Miranda Frost, so that that angle could have been played up a bit more than it was.
#42
SecretAgentFan
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 03:06 PM
[quote name='rnblover1971' date='26 October 2005 - 06:29'][quote name='SecretAgentFan' date='25 October 2005 - 22:00'][quote name='rnblover1971' date='26 October 2005 - 05:45']I've got a few here which I thought were crude, but had me roaring:
Sean Connery in DAF:
"Yes, I think there's something I'd like you to get off your chest"
"Gentlemen, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than just my hands up"
Roger Moore in TMWTGG:
"Why Miss Anders, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on"
Roger Moore in TSWLM:
FRED GRAY: "Bond what do you think you're doing?"
BOND: "Keeping the British end up sir"
Roger Moore in MR:
"Balls Q?"
Desmond LLewelyn in MR:
"I'm think he's attempting re-entry sir"
Roger Moore in OCT:
"Having problems keeping it up Q?"
Come on, guys - all of Bond
Sean Connery in DAF:
"Yes, I think there's something I'd like you to get off your chest"
"Gentlemen, I'm afraid you've caught me with more than just my hands up"
Roger Moore in TMWTGG:
"Why Miss Anders, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on"
Roger Moore in TSWLM:
FRED GRAY: "Bond what do you think you're doing?"
BOND: "Keeping the British end up sir"
Roger Moore in MR:
"Balls Q?"
Desmond LLewelyn in MR:
"I'm think he's attempting re-entry sir"
Roger Moore in OCT:
"Having problems keeping it up Q?"
Come on, guys - all of Bond
#43
Streetworker
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 06:28 PM
The crudest line is "I think it's hotel time". Mom just threw a fit about that line.
darthbond
I have no idea what that's from.
"Well, I think it's about hotel time..." is from YOLT. Bond to Aki.
#44
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Posted 27 October 2005 - 07:16 PM
The 'delve into Egypt's treasures' one is the only one that actually makes me uncomfortable. Especially considering how young and servile the girl/cocubine looks. It's actually almost sinister. I was watching TSWLM only recently and I was surprised at how crass it was.
#45
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Posted 28 October 2005 - 02:14 AM
The crudest line is "I think it's hotel time". Mom just threw a fit about that line.
darthbond
Obviously neither you or your mother were paying attention to the film when you heard that line. When Aki & Bond first meet, she tells him that she has a car nearby to take them to a quiet hotel where Bond's friend, Mr.Henderson, is waiting to meet him. When Bond then says "Well, I think it's about hotel time" after the end of the sumo match, it's so he can meet Mr.Henderson, not have sex with Aki.
#46
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Posted 28 October 2005 - 06:33 AM
The 'delve into Egypt's treasures' one is the only one that actually makes me uncomfortable. Especially considering how young and servile the girl/cocubine looks. It's actually almost sinister. I was watching TSWLM only recently and I was surprised at how crass it was.
I'm glad it's not only me. That and the "Fetch my shoes" line are the only ones which I find truly offensive. I mean, I can snigger along with the best of them and have no problems with "cunning linguists" and "Christmases coming only once a year"; they appeal to the adoloscent in all of us (and Fleming once admitted he posessed an adolescent mind, so it can even be argued that they're in keeping.)
But those two examples cross the line in my book.
#47
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 04:33 AM
Forgive another stupid question but what is offensive about "Fetch my shoes." Is it supposed to be a dimunitive and/or derogatory comment towards women? To be honest, I thought of it as simply, "Come on, would you be a dear and grab my shoes on the way?" Again sorry if this is another stupid question on my part.
#48
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 12:24 PM
I'm siding with the "TWINE line" crowd. It's the sort of thing that Sylvester Stallone would write, meaning it's cheap. A good Bond one-liner/double-entendre should be clever and maybe even take an extra second for you to get it. Tom Mankiewicz wrote the best one-liners...or they at least enjoyed the opportunity of being said by Connery in his distinct way.
#49
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 12:32 PM
#50
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 02:58 PM
#51
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 04:23 PM
[quote name='marktmurphy' date='30 October 2005 - 08:32']
#52
#53
Yep. That's the one.
#54
#55
#56
#57
Yes, everything Brosnan said was horrible. I 'm afraid I can't quote anything because I could not stand watching them again. But, although i agree on the line suggested, I have to disagree about the stallone comment: the guy is a genius, Rambo III should be awarded a Nobel prize in Literature, for not a single word goes wasted.
I have suggested this before: let them sack Haggis and have sir Roger write the dialogues for the next ones!
#58
Didn't Stallone win an Oscar for best screenplay for Rocky? Which is more of an accomplishment than anything Purvis and Wade ever did.
#59
Nope but he was nominated.
#60
#52
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 04:40 PM
Basically, all Purvis & Wade one-liners are crass. But I especially loathed the following bit from TND (not easily identifiable who wrote it, but still):
M: Remind her. Than pump her for information.
MM: You'll just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.
JB: If only that were true of you and I, Moneypenny.
It's not necessarily cheesier or cruder than 'Wow, there's a mouthful', 'Leave it in' or 'Keeping abreast of things', it's just the fact that the writers don't seem to trust that we'll 'get it' the first time.
I can remember Harry Knowles from Ain't It Cool News justifying some of 007's worst one-liners from DAD as the expression of 'male macho interior monologue'. Now that is crass.
M: Remind her. Than pump her for information.
MM: You'll just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.
JB: If only that were true of you and I, Moneypenny.
It's not necessarily cheesier or cruder than 'Wow, there's a mouthful', 'Leave it in' or 'Keeping abreast of things', it's just the fact that the writers don't seem to trust that we'll 'get it' the first time.
I can remember Harry Knowles from Ain't It Cool News justifying some of 007's worst one-liners from DAD as the expression of 'male macho interior monologue'. Now that is crass.
Edited by Lounge Lizard, 30 October 2005 - 04:42 PM.
#53
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 04:46 PM
Definitely Brosnan's line that closes The World Is Not Enough. Luckily, like most Bond quips, it's a double entendre and does have a "clean" interpretation. The other interpretation however makes it easily the most crass of any in the series, surely an example of a "juvenile one-liner" that post-Bond Pierce admitted to "loathing." Worse yet, it's the last line of the movie and emphasized by a fade to black and the blaring James Bond Theme. Yikes!
Yep. That's the one.
#54
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 04:54 PM
[quote name='ComplimentsOfSharky' date='30 October 2005 - 09:58']
#55
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 05:31 PM
There was a time when those lines weren't crude, but deliciously, offhandedly absurd: 'Sharp little eyes you've got.' / 'Wait 'til you get to my teeth.'
Whatever happened to that kind of inspiration?
Whatever happened to that kind of inspiration?
#56
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 06:26 PM
As much as I'd like to post a cquote from Die Another Day...
"Take me around the world one more time james."
"Take me around the world one more time james."
#57
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 08:27 PM
I'm siding with the "TWINE line" crowd. It's the sort of thing that Sylvester Stallone would write, meaning it's cheap. A good Bond one-liner/double-entendre should be clever and maybe even take an extra second for you to get it. Tom Mankiewicz wrote the best one-liners...or they at least enjoyed the opportunity of being said by Connery in his distinct way.
Yes, everything Brosnan said was horrible. I 'm afraid I can't quote anything because I could not stand watching them again. But, although i agree on the line suggested, I have to disagree about the stallone comment: the guy is a genius, Rambo III should be awarded a Nobel prize in Literature, for not a single word goes wasted.
I have suggested this before: let them sack Haggis and have sir Roger write the dialogues for the next ones!
#58
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Posted 30 October 2005 - 09:23 PM
I'm siding with the "TWINE line" crowd. It's the sort of thing that Sylvester Stallone would write, meaning it's cheap. A good Bond one-liner/double-entendre should be clever and maybe even take an extra second for you to get it. Tom Mankiewicz wrote the best one-liners...or they at least enjoyed the opportunity of being said by Connery in his distinct way.
Yes, everything Brosnan said was horrible. I 'm afraid I can't quote anything because I could not stand watching them again. But, although i agree on the line suggested, I have to disagree about the stallone comment: the guy is a genius, Rambo III should be awarded a Nobel prize in Literature, for not a single word goes wasted.
I have suggested this before: let them sack Haggis and have sir Roger write the dialogues for the next ones!
Didn't Stallone win an Oscar for best screenplay for Rocky? Which is more of an accomplishment than anything Purvis and Wade ever did.
#59
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Posted 31 October 2005 - 12:10 AM
Didn't Stallone win an Oscar for best screenplay for Rocky? Which is more of an accomplishment than anything Purvis and Wade ever did.
Nope but he was nominated.
#60
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Posted 31 October 2005 - 12:30 AM
I don't like the TWINE quote of the TSWLM one, especially as the young girl looks so down about giving herself to Roger. Look at the poor girl-she obviously doesn't want him, and I really hate the look on his face when he delivers that line, it just makes me shudder. However, I'm mostly with you other Jinx haters. She really was the worst Bond girl. If she was a "Bond equal" then shouldn't she at least deliver her lines with some smoothness? Her "thrust" line was awful, she delivered it like it was a comical pun, and even though I don't think a line that bad should have made it into a Bond film, she could have at least delivered it with some suaveness. All her lines were just delivered crudely and with humour, which is one of the reasons I hate DAD so much. Ugh, I hope they bring Jinx back for a scene in CR just so Craig can kill her off, I'd love to see that.