Crazy Talk: A Cat named Blofeld

James Bond is an invincible agent. He can save the world, drive the best cars, regularly get a nine at baccarat, sleep with dozens of women and beat even the strongest of henchman all before lunch. The only difficulty is Blofeld, every time you work out what he looks likes, he changes his appearance to something completely different, damn he's sneaky, that Blofeld. If Bond saw him down the street, he probably would have a clue who he was, except for the cat, which is a dead giveaway. The cats appearance never changes, which brings me to my next discovery, now here me out on this one. Maybe the cat is actually Blofeld and he just has allot of owners, I mean how can all those unusual chaps we see with that cat be the same person. It could be very possible that the cat is infact the mastermind behind SPECTRE. Maybe he uses the owners for cover, or maybe it was the only way he could be taken seriously. If this is true, lets go though the different owners in an attempt to conjure up a bit of evidence.

Owner #1 - FRWL and TB

The first owner, seen (or to put it better, not seen) in From Russia in Love and Thunderball, was an excellent choice for the cats first selection. My theory here, and for the others which I'll mention soon, is that the cats manipulates and possesses the owner, making himsay what teh cats want to and deliver the cats plan to the SPECTRE members. The Cat, who I will refer to as Blofeld from here on is the real mastermind behind SPECTRE, the person petting him is little more than a pawn in Blofelds plan if you will. Unfortunately, Owner #1 was allergic to cats and developed a horrible rash, this would explain why he is hesitant to reveal his face, because that cat has made him quite unpleasant to look at.

Owner #2 - YOLT

Obviously, this fiasco would have forced Blofeld the cat to cut his ties with Owner #1 and move to someone new, this time Owner #2, the villain of You Only Live Twice. He looks and acts like a hard person to control, which could have lead to Blofeld the cat scratching him and hence the scar that we see for the one and only time in YOLT.

This cat was quite the professional when it comes to the acts of terrorism, Extortion and plan crime. He came up with the volcano lair among other things. But he was less adept, when it came to selecting owners. Owner #2 and Owner #3 (OHMSS) also suffered from allergies and developed a serve case of cranium exposeious, or in laymans terms baldness. This would explain the bald villain after the one with hair wee see in the first films.

Owner #3 - OHMSS

I imagine Blofeld the Cat is sophisticated if nothing else, being bald wasn't good for his image. This was the late sixties and people had become very wary of bald people, at best they were considered less than impressive. This defiantly wasn't the message Blofeld the Cat wanted to send out, plus Owner #3 had developed neck problems in a bobsled accident, so it seemed that things were pointing to another change in owners.

Owner #4 - DAF

This time, Blofeld went more British and stylish, in the form of Owner #4 for Diamonds Are Forever. The relation was going pretty well, no hair loss, no tension, until after a new years party and quite a few "beverages", Blofeld the Cat got his missus pregnant. A young kitten was born and Blofeld was keen to introduce his young son to the family business. So he made doubles of his owner.

Once again, Blofelds mission failed, this was four times now and Blofeld did a lot of soul searching. Was he really up to this villain game? Or was he just a Cat way out of his depth? Blofeld became depressed and took up drinking. One day, filthy shaven, hung over lying in a gutter in Atlantic city with an empty wallet, Blofeld decided it was time for revenge, revenge on Bond. His last ditch effort can be seen in the pretitle scene of For Your Eyes Only. The bald mane dies, dropped in a smoke stack of all thing, but that cat got away, if that cat is Blofeld, could he be secretly planning another mission as we speak?

#1 freemo

#2 White Persian

#3 R

#4 Blue Eyes

#5 freemo

#6 Blue Eyes

#7 Blue Eyes

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#9 Jim

#10 Blue Eyes