7 replies to this topic

[Hitch]

Breathe A Second Spring

I've posted a very short story as my entry in the under 10,000 words category of the fan fiction competition.

It's full of flaws but I hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to say what you think of it.

[spynovelfan]

I enjoyed that very much, Hitch. Classy little thing, and shows how the idea we're all dreading could be done with some flair and imagination. Seemed convincingly period, too. I think you should perhaps put paragraphs between each different person who speaks. And I don't really care too much for the tricksy ending - the obvious would have done it fine. But that's just me.

[Zing!]

Indeed, when I read this I couldn't help but think of Charlie Higson's upcoming book; but that is not a bad thing in my estimation. A clever story with a grin-inducing twist, I enjoyed reading it very much. Despite a couple of lines that could use tweaking (although I understand you were a bit rushed in writing this, correct?) I found your writing to be quite good, and the story captivating - which is a challenge when writing a tale so short. Great job - I hope to read more of your work!

[Hitch]

Spynovelfan & Zing!: Many thanks for your comments. It's a relief to know that you enjoyed the tale - it's rather nerve-racking to post a story and wait to see how it will be received. Any wince-inducing sentences in the story are entirely due to my lack of talent and I agree that I could have improved the formatting of the sentences and paragraphs.

It was rather naughty of me to mix Fleming facts with Bond mythology but my inner Chandler got the better of my inner Proust. When it comes to writing a very short story, better the slug of whisky than the madeleine biscuit. Incidentally, Fleming fans who own a copy of the John Pearson biography might find a few facts (and a photo) that are relevant to Breathe a Second Spring.

My entry for the +10,000 section of the competition hangs in the balance. The tale is almost complete but needs a complete rewrite. Qwerty has generously granted a short extension but I may have to cut corners to finish it in time, so be prepared for some clunking sentences and dialogue.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

[Qwerty]

Thoroughly enjoyable Hitch. Can't wait to see more.

[Qwerty]

And now in a brand new PDF file courtesy of the author...

Breathe A Second Spring

[Hitch]

Many thanks, Qwerty.

Apologies for resuscitating this corpse but it always bugged me that I'd mucked up the formatting. I've also edited it a little. I'll go now.

[Qwerty]

Anytime!

You fanfics are always deserving of discussion.