90 replies to this topic

[Xenobia]

Having just watched Female Trouble, I can safely say I have just seen the worst film ever made.

But of course, if art is in the eye of the beholder, so too, is crap. Share with all of us, if you dare, the worst film ever made, in your eyes, and briefly, why.

-- Xenobia

[Athena007]

no no no... the worst movie ever made was... Strangers in Good Company ...gawd it was aweful...

[Xenobia]

Well, I didn't like Female Trouble because of the lighting, the make-up, the plot (if you could call it that) and worst of all, the acting.

Praytell me Athena...how many of those does your film qualify for?

-- Xenobia

[Fraternal]

Scooby-Doo. They ruined one of the best TV Shows ever and turned it into a piece of crap. The only part of it I liked was where Shaggy said that his favourite name was Mary-Jane and where Freddy was trying to hook-up with dress-wearing Scooby.

Apart from that the humour was terrible, it was for 5 year olds, and I would have thought that like moost kids movies, there is alot of humour for adults, and I would have really thoguht there would be heaps in this one, seeing the show was first around in the 60's. C'mon, and burp jokes are never funny!

[Athena007]

Strangers in Good Company... horrible acting. Extremely flat plot and boring up the ying yang. It's about a bunch of old ladies who's bus breaks down... and they talk and talk and talk... and it's just not interesting. I just kept watching waiting for something to happen... NOTHING EVER HAPPENS. A movie about nothing...

[Tarl_Cabot]

My choice is Days of Thunder. I don't neccessarily think it's the worst time you can have watching a movie-there has to be something worse, like a Steven Seagal movie but it's the worst film I've ever seen because it's not really a movie; it's a two hour beer commercial! It's interspersed shameless Chevy Lumina adds too. The whole movie exists for the purpose of Tom Cruise indulging his star power and personal hobby of Nascar racing while offering up marketing opportunities for the companies who invested in the films production, the said products displayed. It's the most corporate movie i've ever seen. And that's why I hate the star until the day i die. At least Stallone can look back on his career and admit he made some turkeys and laugh about it-maybe Scientology has convinced Tom he is infallible...Days Of Thunder was sold as a Top tier summer film...It had Robert Duvall, Tony Scott...it was garbage.


btw,I also think the Colonel Moon transforming gentically into Gustav Graves is one of the stupidest plot twist in the history of the cinema!

[Xenobia]

Tarl, three questions:

1) It was a Tom Cruise movie. What did you expect?
2) What was the beer?
3) Was the beer at least good?

-- Xenobia

[Tarl_Cabot]

Tom Cruise had just come off Born on the fourth of July, a film that garnered him an Oscar nomination! In fact, that film helped deter me from joining the military after high school! I didn't really like 'Top Gun' but he made decent films up to that point, before he became aware of the fact that he was a star.


The beer was 'Miller genuine draft'.... Unmistakable...

and it's ok when you're 20 if it's on sale and that's all you can afford.

[Xenobia]

Ah yes...Miller beer. I used to like that. That was before I was converted to Guiness. (Thanks Bryce.)

Oh yes, I forgot that Mr. Cruise used to be able act. You are right Born on the Fouth of July and Top Gun are fine films, but right around Rain Man you begin to notice it's not so much about Cruise as about who he is surrounded by, that makes for a great film.

Note, once Anthony Edwards leaves Top Gun the film goes downhill.

-- Xenobia

[Tarl_Cabot]

'Cocktail' is a guilty pleasure...'All the right moves' is a good highschool film...I did respect Cruise's choice to avoid the Top Gun sequel but he did 'Days of Thunder' which was supposed to be his Top Gun 2 Compremise-I didn't like 'Top Gun' but it's a billion times more entertaining than 'Days of Thunder'...should have named it 'Days of worshiping Tom Cruise".

[Xenobia]

Days of Worshipping Tom Cruise. I would hope the Armeggedon would come first.

By the way, in case you are worried about me killing you, if you honestly believe a film made by Pierce Brosnan is the worst film ever made, feel free to say so. I won't mind.

/spoiler.gif

But I will give your name and number to Pierce when we next talk.

/gen_line.gif

-- Xenobia

[Tarl_Cabot]

Any actor who has a prolific career is gonna be in some duds...Pierce has had some bumpy rides in the tux lately but I don't blame him for it. I do wish we could see Bond 21 this November!

[007luvchild2]

Personally preference speaking, there are two I have in mind, and these are championed as gems, but to me there are equivalent to petrified dung. 1.) The English Patient 2.) Cameron's Titanic.

[mattbowyer]

Spawn. Without question, Spawn.

[IndyB007]

Look out! Time to bash a French New Wave film! Oh goody! The worst film ever made is The Last Year At Marienbad. Boy oh boy was this one a sleeper, but if I could have only fallen alseep while watching it, it would have been good for something at least. It was so boring that I could not fall asleep in it, can you believe that one? This movie is "is self-indulgent rubbish" and nothing more. At least I could laugh at and fall asleep in XXX.

[Agent 76]

"Glitter" was a total mess!

[gkgyver]

Matrix Reloaded. Hands down. Revolutions makes the "sense" of the "film" even more questionable.

The Avengers does a pretty good job, too.

[doublenoughtspy]

IndyB007,

Terrence Young got the inspiration for the FRWL pre credit sequence after seeing The Last Year At Marienbad.

I've never seen it - but I have a book which shows the garden sequence and it's pretty obvious that's where Young got the inspiration.

So the film may suck big time - but it influenced Bond in a very positive way.

As for my vote of the worst film of all time - that's very easy - Diamonds Are Forever.

1) Let's turn a sophisticated secret agent into a vulgar, toupe changing buffoon.

2) Let's turn the lead women into trashy, potty mouthed wenches.

3) Let's turn Bond's arch enemy, the man who killed his wife, into an idiot in drag.

4) Let's put in a poorly filmed car stunt, which was filmed incorrectly and needed to be fixed with a stupid insert shot to correct our mistake - into a film known for it's superior stunts.

God that film is so bad it hurts me to talk about it.

[IndyB007]

Ah yes, doublenoughtspy... I do remember reading that after you mentioned it. It is quite a nice location.... if you don't have to see it, then don't, that's all I'll say about it...

Blood, Guts, Bullets & Octane was also a pos.

[Turn]

Oh yes, I forgot that Mr. Cruise used to be able act. You are right Born on the Fouth of July and Top Gun are fine films, but right around Rain Man you begin to notice it's not so much about Cruise as about who he is surrounded by, that makes for a great film.

Note, once Anthony Edwards leaves Top Gun the film goes downhill.

-- Xenobia

I disagree. What is wrong with surrounding yourself with other great actors? Doesn't that bring out the best in everybody? Nobody ever seems to credit Cruise for wanting to work with great actors and directors.

Cruise earned an Oscar nomination for Magnolia, which was an ensemble film, and most of his scenes weren't with other name actors, save for a few near the end with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jason Robards.

With the new Rainman DVD coming out last month, a number of the reviews note that although Hoffman won the Oscar for Best Actor, it was Cruise who carried the film. He also earned a lot of praise for his role opposite Paul Newman in The Color of Money.

[GreggAllinson]

Mulholland Falls. NOT the David Lynch flick- that's Mulholland Drive, and I liked that. It remains the only film so godawful that I walked out in the middle of it (and me and my friend were watching it at a cheap second-run theatre, too!).

"Honourable mentions" go to Stargate (absolutely no sense of internal consistancy whatsoever) and Dumb and Dumber (even when I don't like a comedy, I can at least see where it might appeal to someone. I couldn't see anything even remotely funny about the first half hour. Then, it veered into humour I don't find funny, but I can at least see somebody laughing at).

[TGO]

Oh yes, I forgot that Mr. Cruise used to be able act.  You are right Born on the Fouth of July and Top Gun are fine films, but right around Rain Man you begin to notice it's not so much about Cruise as about who he is surrounded by, that makes for a great film.

Note, once Anthony Edwards leaves Top Gun the film goes downhill. 

-- Xenobia

I disagree. What is wrong with surrounding yourself with other great actors? Doesn't that bring out the best in everybody? Nobody ever seems to credit Cruise for wanting to work with great actors and directors.

Cruise earned an Oscar nomination for Magnolia, which was an ensemble film, and most of his scenes weren't with other name actors, save for a few near the end with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jason Robards.

Uh, so? Every actor wants to work with great actors...why should Tom Cruise be praised for that.

[Tim007]

Signs, Matrix Revolutions and Scary Movie 2.

[ChandlerBing]

Any movie with Keanu Reeves. Although he is pretty funny (unintentionally) in Dracula.

[Genrewriter]

You guys should look at some the websites I frequent. There are films out there, obscure ones that are so mind-numbingly terrible, it's almost beyond comprehension. For me, pretty much anything that has appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a candidate.

[Q-Zar]

Well I haven't seen MST3000, but if it's low (and I mean looooooooooow) budget horror movies, some are hilariously bad. So in that opinion they become great parodies

[Genrewriter]

As far as high profile films go, I'd say that Gigli, if not the worst film ever, is certainly the worst written and concieved film of the last few years.

[Kingdom Come]

When I feel I'm sitting through a terrible film I usually walk out. Eastwood has given us some of the worst films ever - Sudden Impact; The Dead Pool; The Enforcer; Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil; Absolute Power; Heartbreak Ridge; Firefox etc

FIGHT CLUB / GOSFORD PARK / SNAKE EYES / BASIC INSTINCT

I'd nominate EYES WIDE SHUT as perhaps the worst film I've ever seen - ironically I have it on dvd and enjoy waching it! Its such a beautiful looking film but misconcieved beyond belief.

[Qwerty]

I never liked the Matrix.

[Jaelle]

Too many good candidates.... Xanadu, Glitter, The Green Slime (actually I love watching that just because it's hysterically funny). I hated Species...of course there's always Plan 9 From Outer Space and Santa Claus v. the Martians. Or Glen or Glenda...or Reefer Madness.

Here's an artsy-fartsy director whose films I just think are dreadful (critics love him): Peter Greenaway. The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover (or something like that) is one of the worst pieces of *&^%$#@! I've ever seen.